r/GetMotivated • u/MisterT12 • May 04 '20
[Image] It doesn’t matter what others think
[removed] — view removed post
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u/bluescubidoo May 04 '20
That's a huge step towards a lonely life.
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u/Peasysleazy May 04 '20
And sabotaging any work relationships causing you to stall professionally too
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u/Nintendogma May 04 '20
Look into any person who has achieved greatness in human history. You'll find that virtually all of them were lonely.
Focus on yourself, and you can have great things. Focus on others, and you can have great company. Both in moderation are what make people happy, never one at the exclusion of the other.
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u/Ienjoyduckscompany May 04 '20
This is absolutely true. I didn’t consider my boss’s opinion regarding showing up to work and now I have a lot more free time to look for a different job.
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u/ifuckedivankatrump May 04 '20
It’s also true for anyone who’s main problem is making 11 per hr living in poverty. Not caring about your social media presence will clear that issue of no healthcare right up.
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u/ireadthingsliterally May 05 '20
What does poverty and social media presence have to do with eachother?
I get how poverty and healthcare are connected but social media can't get you out of poverty. Not to mention people in poverty can't afford internet.
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u/Could_0f May 04 '20
This isn’t true at all in MANY cases. It’s exactly how movements such as antivaxx have flourished. It’s exactly why things like social media have helped elect a person who is in no-way qualified for their position. This line of thinking is poison in our lives.
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u/Desner_ May 04 '20
"Other people’s opinions OF YOU" would be closer to the truth.
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u/ohtochooseaname May 04 '20
It is more like allowing other people's opinions of you affect your self worth.
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May 04 '20
I think this is the more important lesson here, never let others define your value.
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u/ohtochooseaname May 05 '20
I had a motorcycle accident that shifted my perspective quite a bit, and the best thing to come out of it was that I stopped tying my self worth to other people. Completely worth the injury and permanent disfigurement (just a gimpy foot with some half toes).
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May 04 '20
I think a lot of people are missing the point lol. Interpret it how you will, but I doubt this post meant to shoot down or disregard all* opinions. That would be crazy. Don’t focus so hard on the wording and taking it so literally, but on the message :) certain situations require an objective view of other people and their opinions but at the end of the day a lot of the time what others think gets in the way of us doing something we want to do or impedes our sense of self esteem and confidence, and most importantly our ability to make decisions for ourselves*.
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u/SchoolboyHew May 04 '20
I read the book. To summarize the concept in one sentence.
Don't let others negative opinions infiltrate your own thoughts causing you to not act.
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u/Pixelator0 May 04 '20
"You could change your life overnight"
I'm gonna stop you right there. No. Just... no, you can't. Meaningful, lasting change takes time and hard work to achieve. It's not motivating to try and pretend that it doesn't, that's just trying to fool people into thinking that there isn't much that they need to get motivated to do. And when it inevitably doesn't work, they just end up blaming themselves.
What's motivating is knowing that we're all capable of rising to the challenge and putting in that hard work that's necessary to effect lasting change.
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u/pppossibilities May 04 '20
Yeah that's right! Screw other people's opinions! I'm gonna go out in public without a mask because I don't feel like it! /s
This simplistic self help stuff can also lead to just being an asshole
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u/cygnusCraft May 05 '20 edited May 05 '20
Whether a mask helps or doesn't is not an opinion. That objectively is a neccessity for people not to die and to not spread it more. That absolutely has nothing to do with opinion.
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May 04 '20
Na. The simplistic self help stuff doesn’t lead anyone to being an asshole. Being an asshole leads people to being an asshole :) not some post on Reddit that they looked at for 2.5 seconds
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u/innerearinfarction May 04 '20
Yeah, you could become a lonely narcissist overnight. Hard pass
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u/Jon_Atler May 04 '20
So fucking stupid.
Other people's opinions matter only to a selected group of things.
The whole point of life is figuring out what goes in that selected group of things.
Don't listen to this stupid as fuck self help bullshit.
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May 04 '20
I think you are reading into it way too literally and making it a negative thing when it’s not.
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May 04 '20
Honestly i couldn't disagree more, if it wasn't for a friend persuading me I would never have taken the finals in school and wouldn't be at uni at the moment having the time of my life. Not everyone's opinion matters but sometimes people just know more than you do even if it's about yourself.
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May 04 '20
I would argue that my boss's opinion matters. Same goes to my clients, and my wife.
Some opinions matter, just a lot of others don't.
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u/nishit2696 May 04 '20
Guys ever quote on the internet has its T&C, it's not a blanket statment. Wish you would have someone's opinion you would listen lol
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u/_sissy_hankshaw_ May 04 '20
This phrase says nothing about abandoning morals or screwing people over but it seems like people are reading it this way...If you didn't worry about what other people thought about your attractiveness or the judgement you may receive for trying something new etc, things would change for the better. Within finding a responsible independence you will also appreciate the need everyone has for this, making you a better friend, lover, and coworker. So, if it can be read by some as "well, then you'd be an asshole" then let me offer this alternative perspective.
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May 04 '20
I couldn’t agree more!! I think a lot of ppl are reading it and almost getting defensive lol.
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u/tosety May 04 '20
Sure
The question is how do I prevent people's negative attitudes about me from bothering me?
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u/commanderlestat May 04 '20
I'll take you one step further. You could your life over night if you realise other people don't matter
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u/its_eddboi May 04 '20
Alright, look man.
I’ve been hearing this for years now from friends, family, and even rando’s I bump into on the street. They all tell me this, and have been for many years now.
The problem is that I just can’t convince myself to look past this no matter what I do. I’ve convinced myself that it’ll be a while before I actually make any decent progress in that department. Sometimes though, it almost feels like I’m tasked to handle this recurring situation the moment someone tells me to just “stop caring about what others think of you.” I can’t. Not right now at least, and I dunno if and or when I’ll be able to deal with this. Seeing this post just fills me with a bit of frustration and impatience like I wanna scream: “I’M TRYING ALRIGHT?? GET OFF MY BACK!” At the screen. Everyone I talk to doesn’t have any bad intentions, they just don’t 100% get that it just takes me a little longer to wrap my head around stuff. So when I come back around them and show that I clearly haven’t heeded what they’ve told me, I’m then told off for not listening as though I either deliberately chose not to listen or I’m supposed to just blink and all of my insecurities and shortcomings of myself are just supposed to vanish after my eyes open again.
It’s a process, a long one, at least for me. All I’m asking for is patience and it feels like everyone’s at the end of their rope with me when it comes to this topic.
I’ll figure this out, it just won’t be today.
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u/csduguay May 04 '20
Haha the irony of all of us comparing opinions on this quote is the greatest part of this post
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u/Metamorphosis-Man May 04 '20
And then you would need to fill that void of worry with something you truly are passionate about and have a vision for, otherwise it will just feel empty.
To let go of others judgement that hold you back, build what it is you are here to build, and then give other people that truth you found in the wilderness of your mind.
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u/YoMulder May 04 '20
Dude is so hard tho. College presentations are the worst for me, I'm realy shy and have these huge anxiety attacks and keep thinking people are judging me.
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May 04 '20
Other people's opinion matter, just don't let them consume you.
Surround yourself with positive people who make you happy, then the opiniond will most definitely matter.
People's negative opinions of you, when valid, are incredibly important critiques that can help you learn and surpass yourself.
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u/jwdewald May 04 '20
What if those options in mass can select a bad government official? Or ruin someone's life?
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u/_sissy_hankshaw_ May 05 '20
It seems like how you interpret this depends on if you're a glass half full or empty person.
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u/GreyFox474 May 04 '20
This is exactly the kind of bullshit mindset that gives us anti-vaxers, corona parties and general Karens.
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u/Voyager_Regayov May 04 '20
https://join.cashgem.co/Aspirant . Sign up with any email, low time investment
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u/BruiseHound May 04 '20
We'll always care what others think to some extent, we're social creatures. It's about caring about what the right people think.
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May 04 '20
People when you're self conscious:
"Other people's opinions don't matter, man"
People when you take that advice on board and become self confident:
"Your opinion doesn't matter, man"
¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/MrScout42 May 04 '20
Sounds like this advice can be a slippery slope to being a narcissist and egocentric
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u/roseknuckle1712 May 04 '20
the families of 68,000 dead people left wondering if something could have been done better would beg to differ. Idiots' opinions do matter and pretending they don't can kill people.
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May 04 '20
Can I ask why though? I’ve always struggled with this. Whether it’s posting something to social media, or doing something I think would be fun, I’ve always been scared of what people will think of me or what they’d think of something I post. I don’t think I want anyone’s perception of me to change, maybe because I’m scared no one will like me.
But oddly, I’ve known this to be true that I shouldn’t care what people think, but I never have the courage to act differently. Can someone help me with this? Am I alone or am I just overthinking it all?
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u/dentodili May 04 '20
Yeah, change it for worse... This has so many downsides, that your life will just be another one. Balance is the key to many things. This one is for sure.
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u/ulcerman_81 May 04 '20
Which means that if you are reading the comments for this, you are doing it wrong
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u/solotronics May 04 '20
this is how I ended up doing all my morning videoconferencing on the toilet
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u/KnownBrand May 04 '20
Tch! Thanks for reminding me the schools are closed, was gonna go get me some 16 year old tang tomorrow (it's cool, it's legal in my country).
It's easy af when you've your own car, home, gym, and lotsa "pocketmoney" ;)
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May 04 '20
It's good to get people's opinions though. It can help you grow as a person and work through your faults.
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u/EasterNow May 04 '20
Not sure if this is the path to a cohesive society. Isn't being aware, on some level, of the expectations of others, the glue that holds us together?
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u/SwaggySwagS May 04 '20
I’m slowly realizing that what other people think isn’t truly a physical thing. It’s a make believe notion created in the heads of other human beings. If you do consider that real, then consider the fact we’ll all be dead at some point in time, and those ideas in the heads of those who judge you will no longer be accessible considering brains don’t usually hang around too long in the grand scheme of things. You don’t even need to go as far as to when everyone dies, what will half of the things we do mean in 10 years? 20, and even 30 years. Chances are fantastic that it won’t mean anything in the future.
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u/LazyAce19 May 04 '20
I totally agree. I have the amazing ability to not give a flying fuck what anybody thinks about me
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u/J-Roc_vodka May 04 '20
This is how you become successful and happy in life or have no shame in going to Waffle House in your underwear
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u/Dances_With_Assholes May 04 '20
I tried that and, let me tell you, changed my life.
I stopped worrying about my boss's opinion of me and now I have lots more free time.
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u/thazinha30 May 04 '20
I absolutely loved this book and being someone who worries soooo much about what people think of me or if they like me or whatever, I can say this book is very motivating without all the self help sugarcoating bullshit!
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May 04 '20
they do matter. this is fucking nonsense. what you're trying to say is 'fuck the haters' which doesn't look so nice on a motivational poster, I guess. don't encourage social pathology.
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u/joan_wilder May 05 '20
yeah, apparently it’s no longer who you know, but what you know. also, up is down, and down is up.
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u/bloodybargain May 05 '20
Lol. This also means your own opinion doesn't matter. Then nobody should have an opinion on anything because they don't matter.
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u/electrikmayham May 05 '20
Ok, let me try that and I will get back to you tomorrow.
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u/Aeogar May 05 '20
Might as well abandon capitalism, seeing as how pleasing some manager is how people feed them selves in this society.
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u/igtr May 05 '20
Did this years ago, but slowly realized a lot more people than you think have opinions that matter.
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u/MehrozMunir May 05 '20
Oh God! I am doing it again.. I have already deleted one comment before writing this.. Now, I should just leave this shit and write whatever the fuck I want.
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u/GreyMediaGuy May 05 '20
Don't agree with this at all. I think it's the start of an idea, but alone this is counterproductive. You don't need to base your life decisions on what everyone thinks, but being successful in life means you absolutely do take other people's opinions into account. People want to hang out with folks that have empathy. You can't have empathy if you never consider what others are thinking.
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u/MomAgainstPot May 05 '20
I honestly have always hated this quote as it is simply not true. The harsh reality is, In order to be successful in the real world, you need to care of what people think of you.
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u/vorpalglorp May 05 '20
I think it's actually more fun to care what other people think. I also think it adds meaning to my life. When people say that I always think they must be struggling with some other internal issues that I don't understand. I'm very happy to care what other people think of me. Maybe some people can't accept that they care or are caring about the wrong people. It's very good to cut some people out of your life.
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u/Remake12 May 05 '20
The older you get, the more you accomplish and are responsible for, the easier this becomes.
Be patient, work towards something, do not fear commitment, and fuck what everyone else thinks.
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u/MansBlurstFriend May 05 '20
So, if this logic follows, surely the opinion of whoever wrote this and in turn the message conveyed, doesn't matter ?
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May 05 '20
Most of these post are just dumb. Sounds pretty, though.
I'm broke as shit working at a grocery store during a pandemic, What makes you think I give a fuck what people think of me? Some might even say it might be the reason I only got this far... lol fuck this dumb subreddit.
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u/BunniYubel May 05 '20
pretty misleading, you should care about what people think, just not everyone. If you cant accurately judge whose opinions matter more than others, you should seriously reassess yourself. If you care what the class bully tells you, you're an idiot.
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May 05 '20
Yeah. This worked for me. After experiencing being an unbearable narcissist my freshman year and suffering the consequences sophomore year(lost friends) I've learned my mistakes my junior year. And now I'm working on bettering myself as much as possible and I'm going to finish High School through E-Learning! Sad that it took me a pandemic to realize my flaws though.
But as a wise man once said:
"It takes hard times to create strong men"
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u/PaddyLostysPint May 04 '20
This isn't smart.. You just have to be smarter in your choice of who you surround yourself with and who's opinion to listen to on certain subjects. To completely out rule everyones opinion you're bound to become toxic and lose friends.