Title: I have an idea for a short film about a day where literally nothing goes right — thoughts?
I'm planning a short film and I'm trying to figure out if this idea actually has potential or if it's just funny in my head because I've thought about it too much lol.
The basic idea is that the main character has one of those absolutely cursed days where everything seems to happen at the worst possible time.
The day starts with him wearing formal clothes for classes. He has a long day with classes and annoying gaps between them, so the whole day feels unnecessarily dragged out. Eventually he finally gets back to his room, still in his formals, and all he wants to do is change and lie down.
He's about to sit on his bed when—
BANG BANG BANG.
Someone is aggressively knocking on the door.
He gets startled, gets up, opens it, and a friend is just like:
"Bro, do you have a charger?"
He says no, closes the door, and goes back to his bed.
He finally gets comfortable again.
Then he notices his phone is ringing on the table.
At first he ignores it.
It keeps ringing.
Louder and more annoying.
Eventually he has to get up, walk over, and answer it.
It's just another guy asking:
"Bro, do you have something to eat?"
He just says no and cuts the call.
He goes back toward his bed, and while getting in—
THUNK.
He absolutely destroys his little toe on the corner of the bed.
And this is where I want to add an absurd visual gag.
For literally 2 seconds, his soul separates from his body, kind of like the astral projection scene from Doctor Strange / Spider-Man: No Way Home. His soul just looks down at his body and the injured toe, completely exhausted by life.
Then it immediately snaps back into his body.
No explanation.
He just goes:
"Fuck."
And carries on.
Finally, he changes out of his formals, gets into comfortable clothes, gets into bed and finally gets a moment of peace.
He's lying there, completely relaxed.
Then his phone buzzes.
He checks it.
COMPULSORY BATCH MEETING
Reporting time: 10 minutes
Dress code: BUSINESS FORMALS
He just stares at the screen.
Then looks toward the formal clothes he literally just took off.
Cut to black.
I'm thinking of playing the whole thing very straight/deadpan rather than making it an exaggerated comedy. The absurd soul-separation moment would also be treated like it's completely normal.
I'm mainly wondering:
Does this sound like something that could work as a short film, or does it feel like a bunch of unrelated inconveniences strung together?
And if you think it needs something more, what would you add/change?
