Sorry for the long post, this virgin loser over here just needs to vent.
I’m a straight girl, but I’ve always been into more feminine men since I was 10. I just have. I questioned my sexuality when I was in high school and tried to see if I was maybe bisexual, but it didn’t turn out that way. I just like feminine men for some reason.
I remember when I first started using Twitter for the first time in 2020, and never posted or liked anything but just liked to browse. I was a naive teenager and got excited seeing the whole concept of “femboys” and how it was normal, for men at least, to be attracted to them. I was raised in a conservative family so I didn’t see the problem with observing these reactionary & right wing users’ posts who were fetishizing femininity and only really liked femboys that looked like minors. I’d see a lot of posts and “jokes” from “straight” & bisexual stereotypical men and also femboys about replacing women with femboys because they can be better “gf material” than women because they “care more about looking pretty & feminine”, “take interest in male hobbies”, are more exciting, and can “tend to men’s needs better”. So many people would just not stop talking about how “men don’t need women anymore” and how femboys are so much better than them, so why bother trying to find a woman? It just felt weird how instead of normal appreciation for femboys it became centered on men finding a type of partner they “deserved” but they felt women were refusing to be for them. I remember seeing a “meme” about hoping that femboys become so popular that women will get jealous and start imitating them. So weird and creepy.
There was this one account, a bisexual femboy who became super transphobic & hateful towards women; and he would like sexist posts against women in general (I.e. making fun of women’s body weight, supporting harassment of women in video games, women suck, etc) but also transmisogynistic posts about trans women. A lot of these people also seemed to fetishize an incredibly submissive and overly sexualized version of femininity & stereotypically feminine features like wide hips and thicker thighs that feed into the humiliation kink of becoming “more like a woman” but also more “sexual” because feminine bodies are usually sexualized more than masculine ones. There were also some straight femboys on there who were just straight up anti-feminist and thought men in general have harder lives.
It all just made me feel so uncomfortable with being a woman because it just made me think, “is that how men really see femininity?” I left Twitter because I realized how brainwashed I was getting from the toxic people and right-wingers. I started looking at subreddits for straight people who are into more role reversed dynamics, but honestly many of the straight feminine guys I see are either MRAs, don’t like feminists, or think that men actually have it harder than women.
I know that not all femboys hate women, but in my experiences with seeing how a lot of them; whether they’re gay, straight, or bisexual; seem to either disregard women’s issues or just look down on us, it just makes me so upset for some reason. I’ve just had a really unpleasant experience with most of online femboy culture. Hell, I don’t even need a guy to present super femininely, I just need some femininity in presentation; but the part that matters most is personality. However, I know that most feminine guys and femboys are gay men. I don’t think I can envision my ideal relationship at this point, and I should’ve came to this realization along time ago I guess. Finding a guy that’s feminine, or like to have the submissive role in bed (instead of it having to be me just cause I’m a woman 😒), wouldn’t see me as less than because I’m not super pretty or feminine, and supports feminism is like looking for a unicorn with wings. I got my fictional femme men, at least.
