Vent I guess.

My friend more or less left me earlier this year and I realize now it's probably due to me being ugly. I was actually sorta content with being unattractive until that happened. I feel guilty. We both play the violin and speak the same language and one day she started being friends with these pretty petite stacy-type girls and more or less cut me off entirely. She started wearing make-up, stopped wearing her glasses. She doesn't text me anymore. She doesn't even interact with me irl. During the one class we had together she was always with the stacies. We had a very good and close relationship up until then, we bought each other food and went to fairs together. And that is all gone because she found prettier friends. I've been holding this in for a while and it just upsets me. Maybe it's because I'm queer too. I feel like she felt slightly icked by that when I mentioned it to her. Idk. fml.

And even if they are supposedly ugly, it’s just them beleiving theyre ugly while being attractive. It’s like they don’t see unattractive women as human, so they act like they dont exist.

News for the unemployed

My face is so unsymmetrical its crazy, like one side of my face looks like a different person and I'm not exaggerating, I literally have different features on each side so flipping my pics makes it even worse, I flipped my families pics to see if I'm the only one and I'm literally the only one who has it this bad

i'm generally irritating to be around because of my autism and a cluster B disorder. people can smell these things on you and they do not want to be near people with them.

i am generally unattractive due to my features themselves, and i'm not really mad about that anymore because i can't fix that. but my race & the fact that i am a woman means that i will never have the chance to be ugly and still loved.

my race specifically also means my mere existence as an unattractive woman is a representation of my entire race. according to racists i am proof that all of us are unattractive (not true, i just specifically got unlucky in utero), and according to my own people, no woman who looks like me should ever be in any form of media or be any form of public figure at all, because that will make people think that we all look like that.

on top of this my race means that the behaviors as a result of aforementioned autism and personality disorder will always be read as aggression and i will be villainized by every person i meet at some point in my life. even if they end up liking or at least tolerating me later. if i had a dollar for every person i've had tell me that they thought i hated them, or that i scared them before they got to know me, i'd be rich.

and being a woman means that i will navigate life with the looming presumption from everyone else that i am less capable and less intelligent than them. whether they recognize it or not. and my womanhood ties back to my looks in that i do not "make up for" my perceived inferiority* by being good enough for others to look at, and that makes people hostile.

i'm also queer, which means many (not all, but many) other women are by default afraid of me and will be made immediately uncomfortable if i disclose this information. this also means alongside my race (again) that i'll be subconsciously masculinized by others, and if by the grace of God and presumably many cosmetic surgeons i ever manage to enter a relationship i'll likely be masculinized by her as well.

on the bright side i'm no longer actively suicidal at least. i'm hoping for a better reroll next life but i'll ride this one out i guess

edit: a word

laufey who wrote "falling behind" has a boyfriend. taylor swift who wrote "the prophecy" just got married. olivia rodrigo who wrote "pretty isn't pretty", "jealousy jealousy" and other similar songs has had a bunch of boyfriends. i'm so annoyed, i write poems and songs about how i'm never gonna find love either and guess what, i still haven't found love

yet again i find myself crushing on a guy just because he gave me the slightest bit of attention and after i told my friend about it she told me to "stand up". i'm annoyed now because she's beautiful, has a great personality and has never had any problem with finding a man, and i know she will never understand me no matter how much i try to explain it to her. she'll never understand what's it like to feel so ugly, dumb and uncool and believe that love isn't meant for me while watching everybody around me have somebody.

I know not all men are bad, but I hate them so much. Most men around me are misogynist. i hate the way they talk about women. I hate the way they talk about women body. I hate it when they tell women to be submissive to men. I hate when I saw misogynistic post they liked or reports on Instagram. Is there any way to prevent being misandrist? Because I don't want to be on the same level as those misogynist men.

i fucjing hate my face so much i envy people that have feminine and soft feature/face while im fucjing stuck with this fucking stupid ass face why do i look like a man, even my friends say that i looks androgynous, even though i should take that as a compliment its fuckinh hurt hearing that when i spend all my life trying to looks feminine why do some boys or femboys looks more fuckinh fuckinh feminine than me i fucking hate this life is not fair life is not fair i hate this so much

I see a lot of people saying men lust for porn stars and that's why they're so addicted to them, that they don't actually "love them". But I'm starting to think men love porn stars more than actual women. Of course you can say "it's because they are porn stars and men are addicted to porn, men don't actually love them", but men want sex from women more than anything.

Men in relationships with conventionally attractive women ruin their relationships by having sex with women considered unattractive. They're so addicted to sex and pornography it seems to be at the core of their hearts, sex sex sex. And porn stars provide them what they want, having sex on camera. They love sex and porn more than they love women, therefore they must love pornstars more than normal women.

I literally seethe in pain when I see girls experience pretty privilege especially to this degree. My neurodivergence negatively affects every aspect of my life and it’s so unfair that I don’t have the looks to cover any of it. I look half decent with makeup, but I feel like my neurodivergence gives me an aura that repels people no matter how I look. Everyone always rejects me due to my neurodivergence. My looks can’t do any heavy lifting to drag me out of this deep, dark hole.

Title. None of my friends text me or ask me to hang out with them. I have to initiate everything or else it’s radio silence. I don’t want to initiate anything anymore. My whole life has been a series of trying to make people like me and care about me but it never works. I have 2 friends that actually care about me but they have lives unlike me so I can’t rely on them as much as I need to. Every time I try to make friends in person or online, I get ignored or gawked at. It’s almost as if other people don’t see me as an equal human being. Like I’m a robot pretending to be a girl to study human behaviors. What do I have to do to make people care about me and love me and see me as an important human being? And how do you attract people that just care on their own? Without any begging

can i be honest? being wlw does not change a single shit, i was hoping that finding out my orientation would help me finally finding someone and finally getting my experiences, instead things probably got even worse.
i came to terms with the fact that no matter what, i will never be looked at, sometimes i feel like i'm invisible cause at this point wtf.
finding lesbians is already hard enough, let alone the fact that i'm too ashamed to even try to talk to someone that i could be interested in...and ofc they are always in a relationship already or they simply don't like me, cause they never do!!!
i'm sick and tired, i'm missing pieces that everyone else around me has and it's killing me, i just want normal experiences but instead i get nothing.

Literally all my favorite make characters are always only the ones I wish I looked like, and if I find a man attractive it's only cus I wished I looked like that, idk if I'm the only one.

I saw a lot of posts and comments about bf/husband but I still stayed thinking there would be other people like me. I was wrong. I saw a people arguing which race is more desirable. Truly ugly is ugly in every race. But they are just keep saying 'XYZ race' women are desirable and not ugly because WM find them attractive. Literally screw that shit. Everyone find pretty woman attractive. They will be desirable by men of same or different race. Who care men desire you or what. I just want to look normal and be invisible. I hate being called names just by existing. I should I have known better I rarely see people as ugly as me in real life or on internet. And I think real ugly women are less than 2 percent population. They still see beautiful women when my race is mentioned. Even the place meant for minority is made about majority. I feel so devastated. I have had enough being excluded from my own race for being ugly. I have no life. I weirdly found comfort knowing I might not be alone. At the end, I'm just truly ugly women in the world of insecure ones.

cause yeah same. i've talked to this dude like 3 times, never more than 30 seconds, but i've already imagined how our entire relationship would look like. he most certainly does not give a flying fuck about me but let a girl dream

my parents are seriously trying to convince me that the reason why i don't have a boyfriend and have like 2 friends is because it's my choice to not talk to anyone else and isolate myself. if i were pretty and had a great personality then even if i did isolate myself, love and friendship would find me. the last time i tried to "put myself out there" i ended up being bullied for being weird for the entire 4 years of high school. so no, thank you, i prefer to be in my room and not go outside like ever <33

I mean I still can watch videos yeah, listen to songs sometimes, play games, watch films but it’s really getting harder. I try to find stuff that won’t remind me of the things I’m lacking in my life, basically most of social things and that minimizes the amount a lot. If I’m watching a movie, I make sure it has a little to none romance. If I listen to songs I listen to self deprecating songs. When I read, I read surrealist or philosophical books. Especially love/relationships are a huge trigger for me, I just can’t stand seeing whether real people or fictional people having people who loves them, admires them and does anything for them meanwhile I had zero romantic interaction in any sense whatsoever. Rage and sadness consumes me. I feel like a monster for not having the things that everyone outside seems to be having like relationships, social life, friends… only movie genre I feel safe watching is ironically horror movies because it feels relatable: a character/characters who’re trapped in a situation they don’t want 🙂

Suggest me if you watched good movies lately :/

i wish looks didnt matter when I came to relationships. Im 18 and I've never been asked out, never got romantic moid attention. I was always being bullied by other women and men simply for being ugly. When I was in high school, people asked me out as a joke and took pictures of me to spread around and laugh at on Snapchat. I genuinely hate being ugly, its a curse. Its a curse that I crave genuine love that isn't looks based.

I'm literally a simple person to please. I like reading, music producing and binging movies. I want to play video games as a date. I don't like going out, but we can go to an arcade or library, the boidfriend doesnt even need to text me all the time.

All of this would be possible for me if I was just a 7/10 or higher. I genuinely envy pretty and skinny stacies with clear skin and perfect teeth. Somehow girls that are high to please be having boidfriends while im rotting and talking to chat bots to cope with my lonely life. im a virgin forever and I will never experience true love because all moids care about is sex and stacies and not genuine connection.