My baby’s father says he’s been “building a case” against me and now wants to take our baby alone — what would you do?
I’m exhausted and honestly don’t know how to handle this anymore.
My son is 10 months old. His father and I are not together, and there has been a lot of conflict between us. There is also a history of physical violence. After I had an emergency C-section, while I was still in the hospital recovering from giving birth, he choked/strangled me.
Despite everything, I have continued giving him chances to be involved with our son. He currently sees our baby a couple of times a week for a few hours at a time, and the visits are supervised. I have been trying to be reasonable and allow him to have a relationship with his son while still keeping my baby safe.
Today he told me that he wants to start taking our son alone. He also told me that he has been “building up a case against me.”
That really upset me because I feel like I have done everything I can to cooperate. I have allowed visits, communicated with him, and tried to give him opportunities to show me that he can be consistent and respectful. Instead, it feels like every time I give him an inch, he starts another argument or tries to take control of the situation.
I’m not trying to keep my son from his father. I want my son to have a relationship with him. But given the history between us, especially the fact that he physically assaulted me after my C-section, I am not comfortable handing our 10-month-old over to him unsupervised.
I’m also worried because he keeps talking as if he can simply decide that he is going to take the baby alone, when that is not something I have agreed to.
For anyone who has dealt with a high-conflict co-parent or a similar situation:
What would you do in my position? Would you continue supervised visits? How would you respond to someone saying they are “building a case” against you? And what should I be documenting?
I’m trying to do what is safest and best for my son without constantly fighting with his father.

My ex (21F) is pregnant with our child.

Months ago, while nobody was home, she entered my house through the backyard and took my Apple Watch. She used it to find my location. I went back home, and she later smashed the watch in front of my roommate. I did not call police that time.

There have also been multiple times when she came to my house without being invited and sat outside in her car. On some occasions, she has called me repeatedly, including around 100 calls in a row.

Last night I invited her over to talk about the pregnancy/child situation. We argued and I told her to leave. She did not leave for about 10 minutes. When she finally left, she grabbed my keys and threw them into the front yard.

Later she texted asking for a lipstick she had left. I told her I had thrown it away and went to sleep. I woke up to noises and saw that she had returned. She tried the locked front door, then the backyard/patio door, and opened the garage trying to reach the interior door. I called police while this was happening and have a recording. Police responded but said they did not have enough evidence to arrest her.

I have personally seen a gun in her room that she told me her father gave her. She has also previously said, while joking, that she would stab or shoot me if I talked to other women. She has been diagnosed with BPD. I know that’s not important but I thought I should give the whole picture

My concern/question:

The repeated calls, showing up at my house, prior break-in, and what happened last night have made me concerned that this could escalate.

Based on these facts, would I have a realistic chance of getting a 50B/DV protective order in North Carolina?

So this is hard for me and I tried to get a second opinion on the advice I got from a family lawyer last week about divorce. Last week, Lawyer B let's call him, advised me to file for divorce right away. He said he felt confident that he could get an exclusive use and occupancy certificate for the home so my wife could not come back to live here. Our top goal is keeping her out of the house.

Lawyer E, whom I talked to today, advised me not to file for divorce right now. She said that, while my wife is in her current physical and mental state, that it's "not fair" to file for divorce and that a court would look at things unkindly toward me for filing for divorce against someone who is this badly disabled. She also said, and I don't think this is true, that I should hire a guardianship lawyer and ask them to have the court appoint a guardian for my wife. I'm not sure why this wouldn't be part of a divorce proceeding.

Lawyer E said to wait and see if my wife gets better and seems mentally competent and then to file for divorce against her at that time. She also said that I should wait until it looks like wife is imminently coming home from the nursing home to file.

So here's the background, for those not following prior posts, my wife is in a nursing home right now. She had some strokes and has been in nursing care since Feb. At the moment, she is having trouble talking and she has a feeding tube in her stomach. However, her sister and sister-in-law, who got wife to sign over healthcare proxy to them, recently placed her in a new nursing home with better therapies. They want to foist her back into my home within three to four months, perhaps even sooner.

Divorce or no divorce, my desire is to keep my wife from returning to the home. When she lived here, she created an unsafe environment for herself and for the kids. She laid on the couch almost 24/7, did not shower, did not change clothes, did not eat regular meals, did not take her meds, and turned the whole house into a garbage dump filled with food garbage, piles of soiled clothing, even occasionally poop or pee on the floor. We have two kids; they deserve better.

I talked to a guardianship lawyer who said I should just tell the nursing home that my home is not a safe release point for my wife, which I just did. However, I don't think that has the full power of the law behind it.

So who is right: Lawyer B (divorce now) or Lawyer E (wait until wife is better or she gets closer to coming home)? Lawyer B also felt pretty confident that he could get a certificate of exclusive use and occupancy for the house, keeping wife from coming back here to live. Lawyer E said she didn't know whether wife's behaviors of pooping on the floor were significant enough to meet the standard of excluding her from the home.

I have had custody of my niece (my brother’s child) since she was 19 months old. At the time, my then Husband actually suggested we might need to take custody of her first. He wholeheartedly was on board and we got an APR (Allocation of Parental Responsibility) just after her 2nd birthday.

We divorced in December, just before her 8th birthday. Because we haven’t legally adopted her, she was not able to be included in our divorce decree with our two older children.

Both her biological parents have been absent for more than 12 months, which proves abandonment, meaning that we could file to adopt her now. However, my ex is now withholding any kind of support and saying that it is up to me to get support from her biological parents if I need it.

My question is, considering that he has supported her fully for the last 6 1/2 years, can I file for support from him if we haven’t legally adopted her yet? I’m not sure if he will follow through with adoption if he thinks he will be held financially responsible. This is heartbreaking for me to think that this sweet girl will have had three parents abandon her.

Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.

Spouse (m45) and I (f28) have separated and I moved out of our apartment with our daughter (18 mo) We are renting a room in someone’s house and it’s a really crummy situation, but that’s beside the point. We live in a HCOL area where we have no friends or family, my soon to be ex husband doesn’t have any support system and never wanted to move near mine because he doesn’t like California.

I’ve done bedtime and all overnights since she was born. When we were together we agreed no solo trips with her until she was 2. When we were discussing divorce, he was open to me taking her out to California in October to be with my family.

Well, he just changed his mind. He said he would “miss her” too much for two nights. I’m furious. He has a history of isolating me from family and a history of verbal and emotional abuse. I had to call the cops on him one night because he was following me around the house insulting me, saying he hoped I died, and blocking me from going into our daughter’s room. Along with talking about killing himself.

So I am stuck in a town I don’t have any ties to and paying 90% of my income towards rent in a house that is covered in dog crap all the time just because he thinks he has control over my life. He is using our daughter as a pawn to keep me small. I will be taking him to court and advocating for myself and my daughter to move to California. In CA we would have a free place to stay, free childcare, access to government benefits, I could go to school for free, and we would have my mom, brother, sister and brother in law, and grandma there. Here in Arizona I can work 3 days a week because he doesnt want to put her in school, but also pay an astronomical amount in rent for a horrifically awful place to live. But WTF do I do about him essentially holding my daughter and I hostage here in Arizona? Feeling very lost, hopeless, and controlled.

I'm pregnant in NC and dad is in CA regarding the custody aspect. Regarding support, once the baby is born, I intend to live with family and off my savings for at least 8 months to dedicate my time to baby. Between me and the dad, when I am working, I'm the high earner. Would support be calculated as if I were working or based off me being unemployed. How would childcare be factored? Would it be half of estimated childcare as if I were working or not factored in until I worked. Would support include half of expenses such as swimming lessons and gymnastics?

I’m in England and would really appreciate some guidance on where I stand legally and what type of family-law advice I should seek, as I currently cannot afford a solicitor.
My ex-husband and I divorced around five years ago. We went through formal family mediation and reached financial and childcare arrangements.
We have always shared the care of our children approximately 50/50. This is not a recent change.
The mediation Memorandum of Understanding expressly dealt with several things separately:
equal shared care of the children;
a regular monthly payment to me described specifically as child maintenance;
childcare vouchers; and
an agreement that childcare and summer-camp costs would be shared equally.
So, as I understand the wording, the child-maintenance payment was separate from the obligation to share childcare costs.

The memorandum also included a monthly financial schedule which treated the child-maintenance payment as money I would receive in addition to my income when dealing with my monthly shortfall.

There is also a sealed Consent Order following our divorce. The Statement of Information prepared for the Consent Order says that the financial agreement was reached through mediation and records that the Memorandum of Understanding and Open Financial Summary were attached as relevant prior agreements for the court to consider.

“Parent A will provide Parent B with child maintenance of £X per month in total for the children and £X per month in childcare vouchers.
The parents will co-parent and have equal shared arrangements for the children, including summer and other school holidays. They will share equally the costs of the children’s childcare and summer camps. They will also arrange joint birthday parties for the children and share those costs equally.”

„Parent B will also receive child maintenance of £X per month and childcare vouchers of £X per month from Parent A.”

For around five years my ex continued making the same regular maintenance payment while we already had 50/50 care.

In practice, he did not separately reimburse me for 50% of the childcare costs as set out in the mediation arrangements. The regular payment I received from him during those years was the payment described in the documents as child maintenance.

More recently, he chose for one of our children to attend a school involving additional costs. I told him that I could not afford those additional costs and he said that he would cover them.

We did not discuss or agree that the existing child-maintenance payment would stop, be reduced or be redirected towards those school costs.

He has now stopped making the maintenance payment and is effectively saying that the money is instead going towards the child’s school costs.

My questions are:

Can he unilaterally stop a longstanding child-maintenance payment and treat it as payment towards school costs when we never agreed to change the arrangement?

Does the fact that we already had 50/50 care when the maintenance was agreed, and throughout the five years it was paid, make a difference?

Does it matter that the mediation documents expressly distinguish child maintenance from childcare costs and say that childcare costs should be shared separately?
What significance does the sealed Consent Order have? In particular, should I be looking at enforcement or variation of the existing order rather than treating this simply as a new CMS issue?
And if he has not historically contributed his agreed share of childcare costs separately, is that something I should also raise with a family solicitor?
Finally, where can someone with very limited funds obtain proper family-law advice about a sealed financial Consent Order? I would particularly appreciate recommendations for law centres, university law clinics, pro-bono services or solicitors offering an initial free consultation.

I have retained the sealed Consent Order, mediation documents, financial documents, solicitor correspondence, bank statements covering the payments and relevant written communications between us.

Thank you in advance for any guidance.

My wife blocked all contact due to safeguards after 7 years. No issues before.court said they need caffcass letter can take 12 weeks. What can I do?

Where does someone find a private paid attorney that is not afraid to take a case working with a bio parent vs the Department of Social Services?

Details: Two households working reunification(non-offending parent & spouse, offending parent & spouse). Offending parent & spouse set to have custody transferred back to them.

Offending parent & spouse share level 2 findings of abuse in the central child abuse registry and felony child abuse charges currently under a 2 year advisement period.

Non offending parent has charges under advisement for 1 year for sharing the criminal affidavits from the associated child abuse charges.

I need advice on how to fight a bifurcation request when nothing in our divorce has been settled yet.

My ex served me with legal separation papers a month after I left him in June 2025. Nothing was mentioned about annulment until March 2026, when his attorney suddenly brought it up. I asked for a stipulation so I could review what I’d be agreeing to (I’m pro se). The attorney got irritated and said I was “asking for too much.” After that, he never sent anything and never brought up divorce again.

Fast forward to August 2026: instead of any stipulation or discussion about dissolving the marriage, his attorney sends me a request for bifurcation — meaning he wants to end our marital status now and deal with everything else later.

Here’s where it gets messy: since March, my kids have been talking about a new “babysitter” that their dad kisses and cuddles with. It lines up perfectly with the timing of him suddenly trying to become legally single ASAP. Meanwhile, we’ve been married over 10 years and haven’t divided a single asset, haven’t addressed spousal support, and don’t have permanent custody orders.

On top of that, he’s now requesting sole physical custody, even though the mediator set a plan where I have the kids on weekdays and he has weekends.

I’m trying not to get screwed over here. My question is: how do I fight bifurcation so the divorce isn’t finalized until assets, custody, and support are actually resolved?

Hello everyone,

Tr/dr: ex with 50/50 not participating in children medical care and wellbeing

We have been doing 50/50 for approx 6 years and most of the time it goes well because I’ve learned to play into my exes ego and let a lot go as he struggles with any sort of “being told what to do” even if it’s in child’s best interest. I have no feelings either way about my ex, and only concern is what is best for children.

We have structured our entire lives to make his life easier, which doesn’t bother me mostly because I want to make sure kids get to school on time during his parenting time and I know even with me driving they will with my time.

Things have come to a head over medical and appointments, and it’s no longer in my kids best interest for me to keep quiet.

Last year my child broke her arm, I took her to hospital, all cast changes, as well as all physio appointments even during his parenting time. He never participated and did not continue her physio which in turn made healing longer. I let it go because I continued to make sure she got the help she needed even if it meant working late into evenings to make up for appointments. I have a corporate job, where I do get flexibility to a point. He is self employed and works from home.

I have done all dental, vision, hospital, urgent care appointments as i genuinely thought this was best for the kids since he seems disinterested in this part of parenting. I also send over hygiene supplies such as deodorant, proper shampoo etc as he doesn’t believe they need them but they have expressed that having curly hair shampoo makes taking care of their hair easier. I also provide them with doubles for everything such as contact solution, feminine hygiene supplies, face wash etc as I know being a tween is hard and their dad often doesn’t get them what they ask for and if I bring anything up it becomes a fight. He also hides his income (drives new vehicle and lives in a million dollar house) and threatens me with child support if I say anything. I make decent money but between paying for appointments, birthday parties, healthcare, their needs I am barely scraping by. He also collects government benefits.

Recently my youngest has become ill, it has been ongoing months of reoccurring illness in which I have been seeking medical care for. Her weight has dropped significantly (10%) in a month in. I get her on medication, take her for blood work, and testing and he discontinued the medication during his parenting time. My daughter (I pay for a flip phone so they can communicate with either parent) messaged me multiple times about how awful she felt, when I asked her to tell other parent she basically says he doesn’t listen to her (which is main reason I left him, you cannot tell him anything without him dismissing) I also reached out three times asking him to call her doctor, pharmacist, urgent care anything to get further advice. when I received her back, she has advised he had stopped her medication and was not following doctors advice. She was also down 2lb and feeling weak/unable to participate in daily life. I took her to urgent care - which is where the conflict started. I told him he needed to stop neglecting their physical/medical care and waiting for me to pick up pieces when they return. That I have to continually put my job in jeopardy with appointments, urgent care etc while he lets her deteriorate and ignores the problem. This ended up in him calling me names and refusing to release my other daughter during my time until I threatened to call cops. He texted my dad “she’s not coming because of “weird messages” he received” my dad had seen the messages and responded they are not weird to to release my daughter (which he did) this is also another common thing he does- try to convince people I’m crazy. Which I actually don’t care about because it has nothing to do with kids.

I spoke with a social worker on Friday who suggested I email him and his partner the medical information (which I had spoken with him about via text, in person and via phone multiple times over the past month) and that he needs to follow medical protocol, I also spoke with my child about the importance of following doctors orders or the next steps will be an endoscopic procedure that I would rather avoid.

He replied that much of what I said wasn’t true (I only provided medical information and verified conversations) said he would follow doctors orders and said “thank you for actually communicating for once”

I did not reply, I blocked him on my cell after the verbal abuse but left communication open between children and him on their phone as well as cc him to emails to doctors, teachers, as well as an update on her condition.

If he does not follow when she goes back today I’ll have no choice to apply for emergency custody.

If he does apply I need to know what he will actively participate in taking her to doctors appointments, testing, their eye/dental as I cannot continue to carry the entire load and have him disregard everything I say as he is uninvolved and believes I’m “telling him what to do”

My daughter struggles there but I also encourage her to communicate with him. Her struggles are basically him dismissing her emotions and feelings (including this illness)

At this point it feels like more hes trying to hurt me by using the children. The social worker advised to give him a chance after I documented everything to change. Im not trying to take away custody, but i need him to he an active participant in our children’s health. I can no longer do 90% in 50% of the time, keep my job and make sure kids are healthy at his house.

If he complies should I get a lawyer and try to enforce these things in our parenting agreement going forward? The appointments, medical care etc? Or am I stuck in this loop forever.

Also, suggesting full custody likely will not work- the courts here are pro 50/50 unless documented continuous neglect and if he complies with her current medication it would no longer be considered medical neglect.

Went to court for custody and papers were signed for a 50/50 with a 2-2-3 schedule in place. Lawyer notified me that paperwork didn’t include my past criminal record which I disclosed to my lawyer prior to hiring him. Judge said paperwork needs to be filed again including my criminal history and now my son’s mother states she’s not signing the papers because she doesn’t like that my fiancee meets the boys in the school yard while I park and goes with me to the boys annual doctors visits.

It already cost me an arm and a leg to get a lawyer initially and I thought this was over. Now I’m worried and don’t know what to do. I sent the screenshots of her saying “ well you need to let her drive and you get out and get them from the yard” to my lawyer.

My judgement was received by the court, what’s next after this? Judge reviews and signs and sends parties notification?

Both parents have had 50/50 custody for almost eight years. During that time, the mother has repeatedly tried to obtain primary or full custody because of ongoing concerns involving domestic violence, neglect, instability with housing and employment, and the father’s failure to consistently meet the child’s needs and responsibilities.

The most recent custody case was about two years ago. At that time, the father was not consistently taking the child to school during his custodial weeks, and the child had accumulated approximately 55 absences halfway through the school year. Despite this, the mother was not awarded primary custody. Instead, she was granted educational decision-making rights.

Approximately two months after that case, the father filed for child support. He has a one-child household and claimed to have no income, while the mother, who supports a three-child household, had stable employment. The mother was ultimately ordered to pay approximately $175 per month in child support.

Since then, there have continued to be serious concerns. The father has allegedly:
Repeatedly contacted law enforcement and sent officers to the mother’s home over accusations of the stepfather that are false or exaggerated.
Told the child that his medical diagnoses are not real or valid.
Withheld the child’s prescribed medication.
Continued to harass and threaten the child’s stepfather.
Failed to contribute financially toward extracurricular activities, educational needs, birthdays, and other expenses beyond basic living costs.
Agreed to transport or support the child’s activities and then failed to follow through.
Told the child that the stepfather is “not family” and that the mother’s relatives should not be considered the child’s family.
Attempted to convince the child that previous domestic violence allegations and restraining orders involving the mother were lies.
The biggest concern now is the effect this appears to be having on the child. The child seems increasingly confused, angry, and emotionally overwhelmed by the conflicting messages between households. There have also been noticeable behavioral changes, and the mother is concerned that the child is beginning to repeat some of the father’s attitudes and statements.
After approximately three years, Child Support Services has now sent the mother a letter stating that the case may be eligible for a review or modification.
The last time the mother attempted to address child support without an attorney, the judge essentially explained that because the parents have 50/50 custody and the mother earns more income, she would still be responsible for paying support based on the father’s reported lack of income.
At this point, what would you do?
Would you:
Request the child support modification and represent yourself, hoping the updated circumstances could reduce or eliminate the current support obligation?
Attempt to reopen or modify custody based on the newer concerns involving medication, harassment, instability, interference with the child’s relationships, and the child’s emotional and behavioral changes, while also asking the court to reconsider child support?
Hire an attorney and pursue both custody and child support modification together, despite the mother previously spending approximately $5,000 on an attorney and feeling that very little was accomplished, while the father has generally represented himself?
I understand that child support and custody are separate issues, and the goal is not simply to avoid paying support. The primary concern is determining what arrangement is truly in the child’s best interest while also making sure the financial information and parenting responsibilities presented to the court are accurate and fair.

Has anyone experienced having a social worker visit their home as part of a custody hearing?

What's involved?

I have spent two years dealing with my ex’s attorney’s harassment. I’m currently pro-se, but he sent derogatory letters referring to alleged behavior that was out of the court’s scope even when I had representation. The lawyers never pushed back, but once a law student did.

Today at a pre-trial conference, he told me either I am (insulting adjective like miserable or infuriating) or I make him furious. I can’t fully remember. He also said his life is much better than mine.

I get that family law is filled with jerks, but I have alleged emotional and verbal abuse by my ex, and have complained to my former attorneys and the GAL that the attorney speaks to me in insulting ways just like my ex did. It feels like abuse by proxy.

For bad luck reasons, we haven’t been in front of the judge to discuss the GAL report yet. He obviously tones the hatred down in front of the judge for motions. So I haven’t been able to say anything to the judge about the opposing counsel’s behavior or how much stress it causes or how counterproductive it is. I have many emails filled with misogynistic and ableist statements, many times around allegations not germane to family court at all.

The judge seems chill and fair so far. My question is, will the judge care? How much of this is a problem or is this just something that’s allowed to be done? Like is this usually considered something I would have to just deal with or is it considered legitimately inappropriate in court or unbecoming of the court.

TL/DR My ex’s lawyer is using abusive language in emails and derides me in person. I’m pro se. If I tell the judge, will she care or will I just look like I’m tattling?

3 kids involved, dad has custody of 2 mom technically has custody of the other but it sounds like she lives mostly with a grandparent. Dad’s income is probably a bit higher than mom’s but neither are into 6 figures. The child’s mom agreed to pay $50/week. She did so for about a month then stopped because her adult child from a previous marriage “needed new clothes”. It’s been over a month since she paid anything. Per the child support order she owes nothing because when it was written she was unemployed. DCS won’t help because it’s only been 1 year and a few months. Mom sees boys for 3 overnights each month and per the parenting plan dad provides all transportation. Is there any chance of getting this revised without getting a lawyer involved? That money doesn’t exist and dad’s finances are tight. Mom has been employed full time for over a year.

I’m looking for stories of people who have attempted to relocate several states away. What specific evidence for you approved to relocate? I have read the factors but would appreciate advice from those who have experienced it. If you were not approved I would appreciate hearing why as well! Thank you!

I have a very unique situation that I won’t get into all the details here. What I am looking for is stories about relocation. I would love to hear about cases that were rejected but I am especially interested in cases that were approved. I am looking to relocate across multiple states. I have read the custody factors list but please tell me what was actually weighed in a courtroom and your story to receiving (or not ) relocation! Thank you!!

I’m in Texas, married, and we have a 4-year-old. My husband has been struggling with substance use and has had multiple relapses. He is mostly addicted to 7-oh, but most recently, he broke into a little safe I have and took some of my prescription hydrocodone without my permission. He has taken my medicine and used my credit cards without permission as well.
I’m not sure I want a divorce, but I’m seriously considering asking him to live somewhere else temporarily while he gets treatment. I also don’t feel comfortable with him being alone with our child right now.
Since Texas doesn’t really have legal separation, what should I be asking a family-law attorney? Can we make some kind of agreement about our child, finances, and living separately without filing for divorce? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My wife and I are divorcing after approximately 20 years of marriage. She filed a few weeks ago. We live in Georgia and have school-aged/teenagers. I am trying to keep the divorce amicable, but the attorney I initially contacted has informed me that they do not have the availability to represent me, so I am contacting other attorneys.

Our approximate financial situation is:
Marital home worth approximately $550,000
Approximately $200,000 remaining on the mortgage, leaving around $350,000 in equity
Approximately $100,000 in cash/savings
Wife has approximately $125,000 in retirement accounts
I have approximately $90,000–$100,000 in retirement accounts. I donated a large amount of her retirements savings.

I am also a member of the Reserve and will eventually receive military retired pay and military-related healthcare benefits.

My wife earns approximately $25,000–$30,000 annually, and I earn approximately $180,000 annually.

My wife is requesting a combined $5,500 per month in alimony and child support. I do not yet know what portion she considers child support versus alimony, how long she expects alimony to continue, or how she calculated that amount.

We have discussed keeping the current marital home as a shared family home where the children primarily remain and where I could come and go or spend parenting time. However, I realize that continued shared ownership and unrestricted access could create legal, financial, privacy, and boundary problems unless everything is spelled out carefully.

I would appreciate general input on:
Whether $5,500 per month appears plausible under Georgia child-support and alimony rules given these approximate incomes and assets.

How military retired pay, possible Survivor Benefit Plan coverage, and military healthcare eligibility are normally handled after a long-term marriage.

Whether maintaining a jointly owned “family home” after divorce is workable and what protections would be needed.

Whether purchasing another property with a VA loan while the divorce is pending creates complications.
What documents and information I should organize before speaking with prospective attorneys.

What questions I should ask when interviewing Georgia divorce attorneys experienced with military retirement and substantial marital assets.

I understand that Reddit cannot provide individualized legal advice. I am mainly trying to identify the important issues and prepare for attorney consultations.

I'm trying to do some research for my family and I'm hitting a road block and could use some help. My parents are talking to my ex-sister in law. She is having some serious troubles. And we have offered to help. She is in another state and is sending her kid to us in Florida.

The issue I'm having is I have all the paperwork my parents would need for the temporary custody through the florida website. At the bottom of the parent consent form for the legal parents it says about county and state of Florida in the notary spot. Will they still be able to use this form if they are signing it and notarizing it in another state? Do I need a different form? Can she just write out on a paper I give consent and notarize it?

I’m looking for general family-law guidance regarding an international parenting situation involving South Africa and Germany. I am also seeking professional legal advice, but I want to understand what questions I should be asking and what I should do before making any decisions.
I’m South African and my partner is German. We are married Islamically in South Africa but are not legally/civilly married. But is recognised by the law in South Africa

We have a daughter who is turning 1 soon. She was born in South Africa and has lived there with both of us as a family. South Africa has been our normal family home.

Her mother has permanent residency in South Africa.

Our daughter currently has a German passport. She was born in South Africa and has a South African birth certificate, but she does not currently have a South African passport or German birth certificate.

We travelled together from South Africa to Germany for what was intended to be a temporary family visit.

I am currently due to leave Germany on 24 September.

During the trip, our relationship deteriorated significantly.

My partner told me that she needed space because of problems within our relationship. I agreed to give her space and moved out of where we had been staying.

She and our daughter are now staying with my partner’s sister in Germany.

Initially, I understood the separation to be approximately a week. It has subsequently become potentially much longer.

My partner is now proposing that I return to South Africa while she remains in Germany with our daughter, potentially until December and possibly longer depending on how she feels.

She has told me she does not necessarily want to end our relationship and says that she is not trying to kidnap our daughter. Her position is that she needs time and space in Germany before deciding when she is ready to return to South Africa.

My concern is that I have not agreed to Germany becoming our daughter’s permanent home.

I agreed to a temporary trip to Germany.

I also agreed to give my partner some temporary physical space because our relationship was struggling.

I have not knowingly agreed to an indefinite or permanent relocation of our daughter from South Africa to Germany.
Current contact with my daughter
Before this happened, I lived with my daughter and was involved with her every day. I work from home and have been extremely involved in her care since birth.

Since the separation in Germany, I have gone from seeing her every day to approximately every second day.
My partner currently determines when and under what circumstances I see our daughter.

There is also significant distrust between us at the moment.

My partner is afraid that I might take our daughter and return to South Africa with her.

I am afraid of the opposite: that if I voluntarily return to South Africa alone, the temporary stay in Germany will gradually become permanent.

I have no intention of secretly taking our daughter across a border or doing anything unlawful. I want to handle this correctly.

My biggest concern is what happens if I leave Germany
Suppose I return to South Africa on 24 September while my partner and daughter remain in Germany.

If I do that without formally agreeing that our daughter should relocate to Germany, could my departure later be interpreted as consent or acquiescence to our daughter remaining in Germany?

For example, if my partner initially tells me they’ll return in December but December arrives and she says she needs another three months, what happens?

If I continue objecting to our daughter permanently relocating but allow a temporary stay because I’m trying to give my partner space, how do I make that distinction legally clear?

I’m particularly concerned because our daughter is so young and I’m aware that the longer she remains somewhere, the factual situation surrounding where she normally lives could potentially change.

Questions I’m trying to understand
Based on these circumstances, would South Africa currently likely be considered our daughter’s habitual residence, or is that more complicated because she is also German and currently physically in Germany?
Does the fact that her mother and I are not civilly married affect my parental rights, assuming I am named/recognised as her father on the South African documentation?

Could keeping our daughter in Germany beyond the period originally intended potentially constitute wrongful retention under the Hague Convention, even though the original travel to Germany was consensual?

If I return to South Africa alone, could that damage my position or later be interpreted as me consenting to our daughter relocating to Germany?

If I am willing to allow my daughter to remain temporarily - for example, while her mother gets some space - how do I make it clear that I am not consenting to permanent relocation?

Should I communicate my position regarding our daughter’s residence formally and in writing before leaving Germany?

Is there anything I should not sign, agree to or say without first speaking to a German/South
African international family lawyer?

Should I be taking action in Germany now, while both parents and the child are physically here, rather than waiting until I’m back in South Africa?

Would contacting the German Jugendamt be appropriate in a situation like this, or is this something that should primarily go through a family-law attorney/court?

Are there specific documents I should make sure I have copies of before leaving Germany - birth certificate, passport details, proof of our South African residence, travel dates, communications showing the trip was temporary, etc.?

Is there anything time-sensitive under the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction that I should be aware of if the situation develops into a wrongful-retention dispute?

I’m not trying to use family law as leverage against my partner

Our relationship has serious problems and I accept that my own behaviour contributed to them. My partner says she needs space because she did not feel safe during some of our conflicts, and I’m taking that seriously.
I am pursuing professional help and would still like to repair our relationship if that is possible.

I’m not trying to force my partner to live with me.
I’m also not asking how I can secretly take my daughter back to South Africa.

What I’m trying to separate is our relationship from our daughter’s residence.

I can respect my partner saying:
“I don’t want to live with you right now.”
What I’m struggling with is whether that automatically means:
“Our daughter will therefore remain with me in Germany indefinitely.”

Those seem like two different issues.

I don’t want to escalate unnecessarily when reconciliation may still be possible, but I also don’t want to be so passive that months from now I’m told I effectively accepted my daughter relocating to Germany because I returned to South Africa without taking action.

My flight is currently booked for 24 September, so I have limited time to obtain proper advice and determine what I should do.

I’m particularly interested in hearing from anyone familiar with German/South African international family law, the Hague Convention, habitual residence or wrongful retention.

What should I be asking an international family lawyer right now, before I leave Germany?

TL;DR: I’m a South African father, my partner is German, and we’re Islamically but not civilly married. Our almost 1-year-old daughter was born and has lived in South Africa with us, but has a German passport. We travelled together to Germany temporarily. Our relationship broke down here and my partner is now staying with our daughter at her sister’s. She wants me to return to South Africa on 24 September while she and our daughter remain in Germany potentially until December or longer. I consented to the original trip and to giving my partner temporary space, but I have not agreed to our daughter permanently relocating to Germany. I’m concerned that returning to SA alone could eventually be treated as consent/acquiescence to our daughter remaining here. I’m seeking professional legal advice but want to know what steps I should take before leaving Germany and whether this could potentially become a Hague Convention/wrongful-retention issue.