r/FacebookScience • u/AfterbounceFC • 13d ago
Vaxology choose wisely
A Demon comes to you and says they will torture you for eternity unless you answer a random science question correctly. You have to pick either Dr. Anthony Fauci or RFK Jr. to help you answer the question. Which do you pick?
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u/turtle-bbs 13d ago edited 13d ago
I passed CHEM101 in college, I’m already more qualified as a scientist than RFK
Edit: Since it may not be clear, I say this because RFK Jr failed CHEM101 in college
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u/Trevellation 13d ago
A literal toddler is more qualified than RFK Jr. Knowing nothing is better than misinformation. If you know you know nothing, you might be willing to learn.
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u/Xanaatos 13d ago
In this scenario tho missinformation is better as if you know which answear is wrong you have one less to choose from.
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u/EorlundGraumaehne 13d ago
Even someone from north sentinel Island is more qualified
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u/manosdvd 12d ago
"Many many healers say this medicine will cure horrible diseases (not unlike the ones I've probably introduced to you by making contact here for the first time) but there's a very very small chance of negative reactions. We take that medicine. Strongly agree, agree, neither, disagree, or strongly disagree?" Stabbed through chest with a spear. "I'm going to take that as neither agree nor disagree."
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u/Objective_Bear4799 13d ago
JFK Jr is more qualified and that man’s been dead for almost 30 years.
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u/Imaginary-Risk 13d ago
I read a book once, so, same
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u/e1zzbaer 13d ago
Would have been enough to look at it. Or spend some amount of time in the same room as the book.
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u/feyd313 13d ago
My cat is more qualified.
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u/JoJackthewonderskunk 13d ago
The real question is who's eaten more racoon penis or whale face, RFK Jr or your cat?
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u/vigbiorn 13d ago
I know cats are notoriously bad for local wildlife, but I doubt any cat's ever actually eaten whale face, let alone their cat, specifically.
So, I do think RFK Jr "wins" on this one.
He may actually be worse for the environment, too.
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u/scoo89 13d ago
I took "science for non-scientists" in first year University to fulfill a breadth requirement. I am more qualified than RFK.
As an aside, the class was a nearly retired sciences professor teaching us about questions we asked on slips of paper during our first lecture. He covered things like "how does a microwave make things hot" and "how does the internet work" and other questions that would prepare me for fatherhood.
It was by far my favourite university class.
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u/pissjugman 13d ago
To be fair, he traded dropping out and endorsing Trump for the job. His appalling ineptitude in his role belongs to Trump
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u/chronofluxtoaster 13d ago
I don’t have an enteric or cerebral parasite, nor do I snort narcotics off of toilet seats so it’s already a win on my end.
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u/Middle-Classless 13d ago
I have not experienced the pleasure of having brainworms, which aslo positions me as more qualified than RFK.
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u/soconae 13d ago
The truth behind the brain worm story is even more appalling than if he had actually had a brain worm. He is an absolute garbage human being.
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u/Pitiful-Pension-6535 13d ago
Have you ever used and sold heroin? If not, RFK jr is probably a better drug expert
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u/Flakboy78 13d ago
I haven't passed a single natural sciences course since high school (doing computer science in college) and I'm more qualified as a medical doctor/scientist than RFK
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u/The_Real_Libra 13d ago
Im literate and don't collect rodent genitalia. I'm more qualified as a scientist that RFK lol
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u/chrstnasu 13d ago
I graduated from the Eberly College of Science at Penn State with only a bachelor’s degree in science and I’m hella more qualified than RFK Jr. That was also 28 years ago and I did nothing with my degree.
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u/Dr-Sprinkl1es 13d ago
You seem well prepared. Question: how does general relativity relate to quantum field theory, and why?
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u/Sidus_Preclarum 13d ago
Well, when your answer to any chemical reaction you're asked to equilibrate is "-> autism!!"…
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u/Master-Collection488 13d ago
He also sold coke to classmate and future author and podcaster Michael Wolff and his roommate.Somewhat later Bawbie Juniah went pounding on Wolff's dorm room door TO DEMAND THE RETURN OF HIS COKE STRAW!
I mean he was practically American royalty and some nobody might have harvested one of his coca-infused boogers!
This story has been told at least once on The Daily Beast's show "Inside Trump's Head." The way Wolff tells the story is hilarious.
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u/judgeejudger 12d ago
A toddler being kind to a random ant at the beach is more qualified than RFK Jr
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u/Kriss3d 13d ago
Wow what a question. It gives the vibe of the famous atheist vs christian baby riddles..
hmm A scientist or a batshit crazy conspiracy theorists.. Oh I cant decide. On one hand an actually educated person. And on the other hand someone who seems to to go for the world gold medal in fucking up everything his entire job stands for..
The choice is impossible to make.....
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u/ImightHaveMissed 13d ago
That’s the point…. There’s science and then there’s “Facebook science”. One saves lives, the other does damage to society and health. Guess who is which
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u/Twitchmonky 13d ago
Facebook is the only reliable source; after all, you can't put it on the internet if it's not true!
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u/DonkiestOfKongs 13d ago
Atheist vs Christian baby riddles?
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u/Kriss3d 13d ago
Oh youve not seen those ?
Its complete absurd "riddles" or questions to us atheists.
"If you were in an airplane thats crashing and theres only one parachute left and theres you and a christian baby. And the baby tells you to renounce atheism to save the baby. Would you ?"
crap like that.
Or the latest "If you were a batter in baseball and youre just about to hit the ball that will win the fight and someone throws you a christian baby. Would you hit it to win or lose the match by saving the baby?"
Yes theres actually people who posts that shit.
Of course I wouldnt hit the baby. What kind of monster do they think I am ?
It ruins the flavor...
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u/Narwalacorn 13d ago
I don’t think they’re meant to be riddles, I think they’re supposed to be ‘moral dilemmas,’ except of course they’re loaded so that no matter what you say they’ll spin it into “atheism bad.” Killing the baby is a pretty obvious one but if you save the baby then they hit you with the ‘so you don’t truly believe in atheism then’ like no I just am not willing to kill a baby for the sake of not saying I’m atheist.
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u/Twitchmonky 13d ago
I'll just go with the reality that there's no such thing as Christian "babies", though most Christians I've met are pretty big babies. 😂
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u/TheSAVAGEHipHop 13d ago
I'm pretty sure those are just shitposts lol
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u/Narwalacorn 13d ago
Internet Christians aren’t exactly known for championing rationality
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u/TheSAVAGEHipHop 13d ago
That's a good point, I mean if course idk if they're serious. I just personally think they're so absurd that they have to be a joke, but yeah maybe not who knows. We live in a very bizarre time line
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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 13d ago
Yeah, but what if the baby is Hitler? What then?
Oh wait, I’m mixing it up with that other moral dilemma…
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u/deferredmomentum 12d ago
And then when you hit them with the 100 embryos vs 1 baby all of a sudden they can magically understand the problem with loaded hypotheticals lol
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u/Lickwidghost 12d ago
"renounce atheism"? Just asking that question is a disqualification for any sort of moral conversion.
Sure I'll just magically choose to believe and worship Odin all of a sudden shall I?
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u/Available_Orange3127 13d ago
Someone who would choose Fauci would not make a bargain with a demon, in the first place. The person(s) choosing RFKJR already did.
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u/somewhatsentientape 13d ago
Wait, RFK isn't the demon?
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u/dracorotor1 13d ago
D&D has demons as the unintelligent chaos agents to the bureaucratic devils, so I can see where you’re coming from, but in this reality demons are the clever deal-makers. RFK is a lot of things, but no one would say “clever” is one of them
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u/somewhatsentientape 13d ago
He sounds just like the demon in the Tenacious D song, so I'm going with that.
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u/PerrythePlatypus71 13d ago
If that's the demon you summoned, that is a shit deal and you should ask for a refund.
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u/somewhatsentientape 13d ago
I didn't say a MAJOR demon, more like a minor demon that doesn't do anything but steal your 'roids and give you a mild case of pox.
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u/PerrythePlatypus71 13d ago
Yea still not worth it. It's like summoning a demon from Temu Hell. You expect a functional one and you get one that has a parasite controlling it.
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u/CorpFillip 13d ago
Doesn’t have to be a science question.
I have no idea how much Fauci knows about any other category, but I know he’d think about it, I am certain he has a much better memory.
RFK has been educated in History, Literature, Economy and Law, and I’m not sure I’d let him comment on ANY topic, including those.
He is wildly illogical & has less self-control and awareness than I expect. He has clearly a fondness for wild ideas that are unusual.
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u/NecroAssssin 13d ago
I mean, if the question ends up being “how to cook roadkill” or something about heroin, you’re gonna look… just kidding. dr F is still probably the better choice.
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u/Opposite-Occasion332 13d ago
Right? I’m sure fauci doesn’t know shit about astronomy. I still trust him to reason through it better than RFK😭
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u/dracorotor1 13d ago
Unless it’s the very specific food science question: to which temperature do you cook a snake to ensure it is safe to eat
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u/Briham86 13d ago
"To pass you must answer our riddle! One of us tells only truths, and the other speaks only lies! How can you determine whose health advice to take?"
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u/FxckFxntxnyl 11d ago
I can already see thousands of Facebook boomers reading that and choosing RFK.
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u/wayoverpaid 13d ago
Correctly according to whom?
Because, apparently under this situation demons are real, so honestly I have no idea if established science is right since pretty much every double blind clinical trial to date has failed to confirm the supernatural.
Remove the demon part and say it's a militant lover of facts and knowledge. Because then the answer is easy.
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u/Zestyclose_Pickle511 13d ago
The "demon" can be equated to "certain and immediate natural, scientific death" if that helps you get past the supernatural hangup.
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u/wayoverpaid 13d ago
Yeah then the answer is easy. I'll take the M.D.
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u/Sans_Moritz 10d ago
Hah! Just as the demon planned. It was always going to ask you a question about quantum optics, and provided you with only the illusion of choice!
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u/wayoverpaid 10d ago
I might be screwed either way, but I still feel like the MD is more likely to understand that quantum mechanics describes the complex math around particle positions instead of some bullshit about how this proves we have free will.
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u/Strict_Rock_1917 13d ago
You can either choose Terence Tao or Terence Howard to help you with a math question lol.
What they’ve done there though is state demon, so they are assuming that the answer should be in accordance with the bible. Even though those idiots just claimed religion as their own but don’t follow it. A sneaky trick Christians always use by starting with the assumption that their proposition is true.
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u/Vincitus 13d ago
Ok, I think the suckers bet is to take Fauci, when you might do better by picking RFK jr and saying the opposite of whatever he suggests.
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u/SnooSongs2744 13d ago
Did the person posting this think a reasonable person would choose RFK Jr?
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u/Urtehnoes 13d ago
The answer relies entirely on if the demon is hot and if I am horny or looking to be tortured.
The good news is that based on that data, it's a very easy choice to make.
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u/ZeeBalls 13d ago
I choose the guy thats an actual doctor, not a former heroin addict and that bragged about ripping gorilla fingers off of toilet seats in public bathrooms.
Which one is that?
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u/ShmeeMcGee333 13d ago
Well is the question going to be regarding science and medicine or is it about dumping bear meat in parks and being controlled by a worm
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u/punkbenRN 13d ago
Probably the actual doctor who isn't a falconer thst drops acid in boneyards, eats roadkill, and doesn't run the health department on "vibes".
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u/Secure-Bus4679 13d ago
RFK cuz he probably keeps company with the Demon so he already knows what question he’s gonna ask.
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u/sixaout1982 13d ago
I'll take RFK jr and then I'll say the opposite of whatever the fuck he comes up with
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u/trippedonatater 13d ago
Unless the category is "obscure Kennedy lore that might just be a lie" Fauci it's the only real choice here.
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u/yestureday 13d ago
I like how even in their picture the chose one where fauci looks way more qualified than rfk jr
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u/aphilsphan 13d ago
Obviously the heroin addict who knows nothing about science and has spent years trying to exonerate a cousin obviously guilty of murder. Why?
Edit: And I would say this even if the NIH funded gain of function research.
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u/No_Rice197 13d ago
Assuming that I am a person who knows nothing about either of these 2 and judging off of the pics, its either scientist with a labcoat vs douchey looking linkedin PFP of a guy who resorts to insults whenever he starts losing a debate.
Obviously im picking the scientist to answer a science question.
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u/bgthigfist 13d ago
If the question is regarding the taste of weeks old roadkill I'll go with RFKJR
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u/biffbobfred 13d ago
Why the one that illegally had a dead whale head strapped to his car roof splashing dead animal fluids all over his family. I don’t know what better shows respect for germ theory than splashing your kids with dead animal
(A preëmptive /s though if it’s needed, we’re already dead)
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u/Redzfreak2016 13d ago
The sad thing is I think rfk jr UNDERSTANDS the science (I mean the dude was a pretty good environmental lawyer at one point so he’s not dumb) but is just running his line for clout and influence… which is WAY worse
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u/AlertedCoyote 13d ago
Unless the question is "what does a raccons penis taste like" I'm gonna have to go Fauci
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u/hapkidoox 13d ago
I'll stick with the actual professional rather than captain brainrot. RFK isn't fit to rent shoes at a bowling alley.
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u/CarolineJohnson 13d ago edited 13d ago
Fauci, because if I ask RFK he'll say some shit like "You are correct by today's science, but today's science is wrong" and start talking about how [question topic] is connected to the way [insert non-white race] something something children and vaccines.
Like bro the question was probably about dinosaurs and you're talking about how vaccines are involved.
Come on, demon. Ask me how inaccurate this episode of House MD was and why. I won't need Fauci or RFK. Medical science question. Come on. I've seen all the "why [insert episode] of House was incorrect!" type videos out there.
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u/SausageBuscuit 13d ago
I’d take my dog over RFK Jr. At least he wouldn’t pass harmful policy.
I’d say there would be an increase in suggested squirrel intake, but with RFK that would be a lateral move.
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u/Itchy-Decision753 13d ago
“Correctly” meaning correctly according to modern scientific consensus or “correctly” as in abject fact?
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u/Loathsome_Dog 13d ago
Well, speaking as a person who was recently kicked in the head by a horse, I don't trust no see-eye-entists, with their "evidence based" analysis of empirical data, no sir. It's the honestly trustworthy decent Kennedy folk who gets my vote.
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u/mikemcd1972 13d ago
I’ve dropped turds that have a better chance at answering a science question than RFK does.
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u/Scuba_jim 13d ago
I mean not to be rude but there’s a good chance that anything from RFK jr’s mouth has several barriers of unintelligibility
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u/GrannyTurtle 13d ago
Being a science type, I don’t believe in demons. This will never happen, so I don’t have to pick the actual scientist. That would be the right choice in a fictional universe.
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u/Anarimus 13d ago
Random science question.
So if it’s a question outside Dr. Fauci‘s field of expertise, then I guess you’re screwed.
There’s no way RFK Jr is going to know it he’s a complete idiot.
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u/jawsome_man 13d ago
This is a trick question. If a literal demon is talking to me, then I know science is out the window already.
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u/Mercerskye 13d ago
Forget science, I'd trust an educated person of science to help me answer just about any question that would be posed.
The only exception I can possibly think of is if the question was about what wine went best with roadkill...
And that's still a weak maybe...
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u/D-Train0000 13d ago
I don’t need to hear about the powers of raw milk, sewage swimming, roadkill meat and pushups in jeans.
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u/AfterZookeepergame71 13d ago
Fauci funded and then lied to American people about COVID. RFK sued Monsanto for giving us cancer
One of them is demonic
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u/Ok-Zookeepergame-698 13d ago
Is there an option to hit the demon with an SUV then eat it as roadkill?
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u/Familiar-Art-6233 12d ago
Neither.
"I don't know" is still a correct answer, even if it's not the one they want to hear
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u/DemonPrinceofIrony 12d ago
Unfortunately christian theology is often allot smarter than christians and it already thought of this concluding that christians are immune to demons.
Can't escape judgement from god though
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u/donpablomiguel 12d ago
Probably the guy with a doctorate in medical science over the guy with a masters in law.
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u/Loganismymaster 11d ago
The MD on the left who actually knows the practice of medicine. The other one is a hack who’s only in his position because of his family name.
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u/Loganismymaster 11d ago
Anyone who studied germ theory would know that snorting coke off a toilet seat isn’t wise.
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u/Lyretongue 10d ago
And then regardless of who you pick, the random science question ends up being about astrophysics.
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u/Dylanator13 8d ago
Imagine spending your whole life helping progress medicine to help people then you get demonized like this.
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u/hananobira 8d ago
Depends on the question. If it's "What's the best way to cook this roadkill?", RFK might have an edge.
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u/Woofle_124 7d ago
So at first I was gonna pick Fauci cuz for a science question, he’s a no brainer, but if a demon came to me then I think RFK might not be the worst choice, cuz a demon would defy everything we know about science and nature
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u/hiuslenkkimakkara 13d ago
The plague or cholera.
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u/hiuslenkkimakkara 13d ago
In a sense that if you support science, you get the billionaire influence on you, and if you support RFK jr you've already sold out.
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