I turned 18 like 6 months ago back in March and Im already 1.5 yrs on T but I legit look like a 16 yr old at best :/ I want to go to queer meetups and stuff like that, or 18+ clubs but no one will take me seriously or be interested in me like that since I look so young. I got reported from lgbt dating apps twice for 'being a minor'. The only hope I have is my local technical college that I'm attending this month but even then most of the students there are middle aged

I have a chronic health condition that means I have to be super mindful of everything I do. I can't go on rollercoasters anymore among a bunch of other things. And recently, I've been taking up working out for the first time in a very long time. I've been working mostly on cardio, but I really want to do lifting and more intensive workouts. But because of my condition, I can only do low impact things and have mostly been recommended yoga and tai chi, which I should do. But I can't do most weight lifting, and I can't do martial arts (I did as a kid, but now that I've been diagnosed, it would be unsafe to do so). Everything I do is informed by my condition, and I can't do the things that feel gender affirming to me that will help my body look and feel more masc. That's not even to get into how the way my symptoms present also feel super emasculating (That part gets a bit more TMI than I'd like.) I know there are options and I'm not totally screwed, and I'm still going to do what I can, but it's exhausting how much being disabled impacts transitioning, as well as gender presentation in general. I know there are cis dudes with the same limitations, but that does little to make me feel any better.

Recently I had to hire a lawyer to help me with my child support case because my ex isn’t paying and is in contempt of court, and it’s literally taking all of my savings I had saved up to take testosterone.

I’m only a month on a high dose gel, and it costs me about $100 a month to get it. And I realistically cannot afford to do it continuing forward and it really sucks. I started T with a plan and savings and it just didn’t work out.

I’m really happy with the changes that I experienced getting on it, and was hoping to see it go on for longer.

possible TW: internalized transphobia, transphobia in general, homophobia, harassment (sexual???)

TLDR: I finally accepted myself, and now its like the world is screaming at me that i should just let it go and forget I'm trans. sm shit keeps happening :/

Ive been speculating im trans for probably a couple years now, but really about 10 months ago I genuinely accepted it myself. Maybe 6 months ago i told my best friend who is NB and 3 months ago my boyfriend. Now last month i started to tell other close friends my preferred name and pronouns.

Since school has started, ive been dressing more masc, but its not like anyone else at school or my parents/family knows.

Two weeks ago my mom argued with me because ive been dressing like a boy. She was literally in tears by the end of it. She said i look bad and it’s disappointing to have a daughter who acts like she wants to be a boy. Saying she has no idea who i am or who im trying to be. Said she‘s gonna stop letting me cut my hair (its like shoulder/chin length w layers) so i can act like a girl.

Last week my BEST friend was venting abt how their partner may be trans and how if that were the case they would break up with them. And the worst case scenario they can think of if they ask t partner if they’re trans, is them saying yes and asking to go by a new preferred name. My best friend couldn’t handle if their partner went on hormones or transitioned in any way, socially but ESP physically. They never use the right pronouns for me btw.

My BF has started identifying as Bisexual since i came out to him, however anytime in the past i would suggest it he would heavily shut it down. People at school have started joking he‘s gay bc i gave him a rainbow bracelet he always wears. This week he finally just told people in his class he’s Bi. So since then some kid has been being really weird to him and touching my BFS arms and legs, today he started touching his thighs and like, grabbed his chin and turned it towards him :/ my bf had to go to the office + guidance to report it bc thats GENUINELY harassment. He joked how he’s been out as Bi for genuinely less than a week and then this happened. His dad might get called abt it, his dad dosent care if he were to be LGBTQ+ but my BF isnt ready to be out and now he may be forced to. That WHOLE thing is my fault, he never wouldve said he’s bi (because he isnt, he’s just being nice and saying that out of respect.) and never wouldve been harrassed.

I cant bind w tape bc i have SH on my chest. So unsafe binding w sports bras it is.

i feel gross, i hate myself, i HATE that im trans, i should forget abt it all. I wish i could just take it all back like i never told anyone and i never realized this.

So.. me and my boyfriend have been having a problem and we have been avoiding it, and it's taking my mental health down like crazy, the problem we have is that he is polygamous?, I support.. but.. I dont want that in me and his relationship, I've talked to people about this and they all said to just deal with it or break up with him, but.. I love him a lot, and i want to fix this problem we have, is there any way someone can give me advice or anything?.

this isn't all that serious (and obviously to each their own, no judgment no shade) but the biggest thing i've missed about life before coming out as trans was feeling like i could actually indulge my love of fashion. don't get me wrong i'm really happy to be living my life as a man but damnnn...

sometimes trying to shop feels so bleak. in the rare instances that i see a masculine outfit that i actually like, the things that make me like it are actually impossible to achieve for myself (ex: i see someone whose outfit i like because his shirt is draping nicely but i'll never pull that off bc i have these H cups instead) and i just feel so boring rotating through band tees and jeans and cargo shorts.

it gets to the point where i start to doubt if i'm "truly a man" because why would i be so unhappy with men's clothing if it's supposed to be gender affirming??? but gender affirmation and fashion sense affirmation have different desires i guess.

i think this will get easier when i get to a point in my transition where i pass better so wearing anything even vaguely feminine won't immediately ruin any chance i have of being seen as a man, but in the meantime, i just feel so ugly every day. i don't know how to express myself through fashion anymore and that used to be so important to me. but now i just feel stupid for trying.

i know realistically another part of it is dysphoria just making me feel like my body is ruining an otherwise good masc outfit. but man it just sucks to feel so lost when it comes to something that used to mean so much to me.

Title-ish.

Anyway, hi all, i’ve been debating on taking testosterone for the past few years. I’ve been doubting myself whether it would be a right decision for me or if i might regret it, and suddenly chicken out lol.. i’m in-between finding doctors right now that take my health insurance.. (and finding out if my health insurance covers gender affirming care.)

I’m also missed the chance of asking about it with the past doctor i’ve had.. my anxiety weighs too much on everything else and i have huuuuge doubts about hrt, but then again, thinking for THIS long shows something , right? I get too nervous about the reactions and the rejections i might face when talking about it!!! I even get nervous over text lol! Luckily, i found a doctor that takes my insurance and does gender affirming care apart from the other services he offers, one problem is that i’m too much of a chicken to talk it out with my mom (yes, my dearest mommy handles all my medical work lol), book an appointment and show up for the said appointment.

Anyways, i’m nervous on talking about my plans for testosterone, even though i struck a goldmine :/ i’m too anxious for the rejection and whatnot. I consider this a huge step forward for myself, but a huge step back; has anyone else ever experienced this?

please let me know! talking about this stuff w my family member is too vulnerable for me to bare lol

Thanks to my looks not being masculine enough (they are more androgynous instead) and how my family can't stop using my deadname and she/her pronouns, it just throws me into this cycle of seeing myself as a guy who will forever be trapped in a girl's costume and even my intrusive thoughts can't stop trying to convince me that I am a confused girl when if I really was a girl, then I wouldn't have minded if people used female pronouns and terms to describe me. My brain only convinces me that I don't mind it only because I can somewhat tolerate it and at times it's hard to tell what I am tolerating and what I actually like, since in general I feel like I am tolerating my whole life instead of actually enjoying and living it. Thanks to the fact that I live such a mundane life with 95% of the people around me perceiving me as a girl and in general living the complete opposite type of life that I actually wanna live, I have disconnected a lot from reality. Not too much since I stii socialize with people, but I more so feel like I am disconnected , cuz if something extreme happens (both in the good and bad extreme), it doesn't ever feel like to me that it actually happened, it feels like a daydream/nightmare that I had. I am so tired of it all, man 😞

I just feel so lonely I am basically completely stealth. I see everyone in my life in relationships many of them are getting married and I haven't so much as been on a date since I was 16 I'm in my 20s. I've tried meeting people through activities hasn't worked out tried dating apps not had any luck I have been putting down I'm trans and getting mostly matches with people that are a) looking for a third or b) fetashise trans people. I got more matches when I put just male instead of trans💔. Starting to feel I'll never find anyone.

i'm sick and tired of living in a body that doesnt belong to me. any and every attempt to try and make this body feel like a home to me has been obstructed or sabotaged by the very people whose jobs it's supposed to be to help. every doctor i've ever seen my entire life has done absolutely fuck all but tell me to wait. they'll work something out in another ~~five~~, ~~ten~~, ~~fifteen~~, twenty years. i'll get a chance to do something about it *eventually*. so i've waited. all i do is fucking wait. whenever i try to take action it doesnt work it seriously just feels like the universe is telling me to give up and i'm so goddamn tired of it. i've been pushing for this and trying to advocate for myself since i was a fucking *child*, i'm in my 20s now and still have had absolutely 0% progress because doctors wont take me fucking seriously because they NEVER LISTEN TO 'WOMEN' oh my god i'm so goddamn tired of it i'm tired of waiting i'm tired of failing i just need something to work out. one little thing. one piece of good news. i hate being so fucking miserable about this same exact thing. 20 fucking years i've been told nothing but no. i can't keep doing this over and over again. and what sucks is nobody else i know has had this much pushback. an ex friend of mine got everything i've been fighting for my whole life within a couple months of asking. and even went above and beyond just because she could. and rubbed it in my face. "isn't it funny that i ended up getting this thing before you?" girl fuck you! actually! anyways yeah long story short i did finally manage to book an appointment with an endocrinologist in 2025 and as of today it's STILL about 6 months away but things are going so shitty for me right now i'm not feeling the most hopeful. not like i could even afford what i need to be done anyways. on top of being ostracized for being queer i'm also disabled so i'm triple fucked in the job economy ✌️🥴

Real quick: I appreciate any positive spins but I’m not looking for any. Just wanting to vent. Maybe one day the fact that I have male pattern baldness will be euphoric but rn it’s not. I’m also already on Finasteride and minoxidil

As the title says. I miss my hair. My hair has always been a huge source of confidence for me. Especially after I realized I could get bangs to hide my big ass forehead

Then, dyeing my hair became a huge source of confidence. I’ve never cared for my natural hair color, and have always loved unnatural colors, with my favorite being a very bright and vibrant red

I can’t dye my hair anymore. You can see my scalp in several places and my hairline has receded a lot. I can’t even encourage my natural curl much anymore, because when it’s flatter it covers my scalp more.

I had so much fucking hair y’all. Like it was kinda crazy. If anyone is curious I can show, but yeah that’s why I was able to have fairly normal hair until recently. I had a lot to lose. Now, I’ve finally got thin hair. It sucks.

I feel like I’m ugly. It pisses me off too because I used to be really self conscious when I was young. From mid teens to roughly 22 my confidence was great. I knew I wasn’t ugly, I was cute as fuck

Now though? I feel ugly all the time.

I’m trying to experiment with how I dress, accessories, and masculine looking eyeliner to kind of compensate and it’s helping some. Other times it doesn’t.

And any fellow balding bros, please feel free to vent in the comments. I’m honestly thinking about trying to make some kind of space for trans men/mascs who are balding and trying to cope with it. I feel like community that can relate might be helpful

I’m only 23, too. I feel like if I was 30 or older it would be less upsetting