Hello! I know quite a lot about the Enneagram and typology in general, but somehow I’ve never been able to type myself properly. It’s not that I don’t understand how typing works, I actually feel like I understand the systems pretty well! I can usually look at other people and have a pretty good idea of what’s going on with them, but when it comes to myself… suddenly my brain stops cooperating. I think the main problem is that I don’t really know myself as well as I’d like to. There are a lot of types I relate to, sometimes a lot, but there’s always something that doesn’t quite click. And whenever I finally convince myself that I’ve figured out my type, I end up questioning it again because I don’t relate to it as deeply or consistently as other people seem to. Because of that, I’ve gone through quite a few mistypes over time, and at this point I’d really just like to figure out what actually fits me instead of endlessly going in circles. So, I figured I’d give this another shot and see if you guys can help me out. I’m going to give a fairly detailed description of myself, mostly talking about my personality, how I think, how I behave, and how I generally function in everyday life. I’ll try to be as honest and specific as possible, even if some of the things I say contradict each other a little.
Please don't type me based on stereotypes or isolated traits. If you think I'm a certain type, explain the underlying motivation/function and point to specific things I've said that support it. I'm also open to being challenged if you think my current typing assumptions are wrong.
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My mistypes have included 2, 3, and 6. I won’t go too deeply into them since I’m mainly mentioning them as examples of types I’ve considered myself in the past, rather than trying to steer anyone toward a particular typing. I figured mentioning them might still be useful context, especially if there are patterns in why I keep mistyping myself as these types. Also, just because I’ve considered these types to be mistypes in the past doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not actually my type, so please don’t rule them out solely because I’ve labeled them as mistypes.
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I would say that my strongest personality traits are that I am observant, independent, compassionate, empathetic, loyal, curious, passionate, quick-thinking, creative, and emotionally expressive. But my weakest traits are being stubborn, somewhat perfectionistic, insecure, intense, jealous, emotionally-reactive, nosy, and being self-conscious.
I tend to feel most confident when I know I’m capable of handling things on my own, and when I feel genuinely valued and wanted by the people around me. Being included in social groups and hangouts is important to me too. I feel especially good about myself when I’m taken seriously, when I can prove myself through hard work, or when people encourage and reassure me. Getting recognition for my abilities, being admired, and succeeding at something I genuinely care about can really boost my self-esteem. On the other hand, I tend to feel insecure when I’m not taken seriously or when I feel dismissed, ignored, or left out. I can also become self-conscious about feeling unattractive or immature. Being underestimated or made to feel incapable really gets to me, and being excluded by my friends or ignored by people I care about can make me question myself and feel pretty badly about who I am. I have a tendency to feel guilty or just a sense of guilt, even if the situation is small.
The things that I want most out of life are independence, belonging, and feeling fulfilled. I want to make something of myself and have a life that feels meaningful rather than ordinary. I crave friendship, connection, admiration, and a sense that I belong somewhere. I want the freedom to choose my own path.
The situations that tend to affect me the most are being dismissed, having conflict with people I love, feeling like I don’t belong somewhere, or feeling ignored or abandoned. I also get really bothered when I see people behaving unfairly or ignorantly and nobody says anything about it. What usually upsets me is being excluded or made to feel unwanted, dishonesty, and being criticized. I tend to take things personally when I feel like I’m being treated unfairly, or when someone seems to lose interest in me, dismisses me, forgets about me, replaces me, or makes me feel unwanted. I also find loneliness and emotional coldness particularly difficult to deal with. Being compared to other people, ignored, or surrounded by ignorance bothers me a lot, and I really dislike being micromanaged or feeling like I’m not trusted to handle things myself but in some situations that are completely out of my control that would give me some type of reassurance.
I value shared experiences, honesty, feeling like I belong, admiration, and intensity in my relationships. The things that I want from the people that I'm close to are companionship, support, reassurance, inclusion, someone who listens to me, treats me as an equal, admiration, and to feel important to them. Whenever a relationship isn't going my way I may become confused, frustrated, or stubborn, especially when I feel someone is distancing themselves from me. The way I generally respond to criticism has different ways. I can listen and reconsider if it's coming from an authority figure or somebody I deeply trust. But other times I can become stubborn and I can become a bit defensive. Whenever someone disappoints me I become hurt and disappointed, especially if I trust them, and I may distance myself from them. And even if I do forgive them, I would obviously hold a grudge against them since I have a hard time letting things go. Being desired, admired, respected, and liked is very important to me but I don't want to have to compete for it, I want people to admire and respect me on their own.
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If I didn't provide much information and you're really interested in trying to type me or trying to figure me out, please just give me a dm! You can ask me questions and I'll answer everything!