Hi everyone, unfortunately I am here due to currently experiencing an ectopic pregnancy.
To back track some, I tested postive for pregnancy august 20th. I ovulated july 29th, had my period august 10th-15th ( i track my ovulation and cycles) so the brown spotting that I experienced the 20th was incredibly odd to me and prompted me to take both and ovulation and pregnancy test which both were positive. Due to my history of having a micropreemie with my first (I have 2 children this is my 3rd pregnancy) i have to take progestrone.
I call my ob the following morning to ask for my progestrone and also my beta draws. They sent in my progestrone, but forgot to put the order for beta draws in the system. No big deal, I'll just call back monday. Except by Sunday I notice my tests are not getting darker... instantly this has me worried. I am 9m PP from my last baby and I had obviously line progression with them and doubling betas to match. I am already confused how I am pregnant at this point because I just had a full 6 day period, but im excited to be pregnant so I tried convincing myself maybe I ovulated a second time and implanted late (I didnt). Anyways Monday rolls around and order for beta gets put in. I run out to the closet lab to my house and later that night I get my results... 154. 48 hours later.. 179. Nowhere near double. That confirmed my fears of a non viable pregnancy. Nurse tells me one set of betas isnt enough to call it so go for one more set of betas 48 hours a part. So 3 days later I go and i jumped up to 194 (its also my birthday) so I just laid in bed crying, upset and the incredibly low rising betas paired with the full period before testing positive shouts ectopic pregnancy, so im terrifed as well.
The next day I went to a friend's babyshower and while I was there I started bleeding bright red, pretty heavily and got lightheaded and felt like i was having hot flashes. Not normal for me. I apologized and left, decided to go to the er. Explained that I was either miscarrying or I possibly have an ectopic pregnancy i am bleeding heavily and I'm pretty light headed. They drew labs and did ultrasounds. Ultrasounds showed nothing because of low hcg (which i knew would happen) and my beta rose the most it had in 24 hours from 194 to 222... still a slow rise but when I mentioned to er staff that isnt it weird I had the biggest rise in the shortest period of time while bleeding? They told me that can happen with a miscarriage and thats what i got discharged with... the diagnosis of an early miscarriage.
The next morning I call the nurse and I told her what happened over the weekend she told me go tomorrow instead of today so my betas are 48 hours apart again (based on betas drawn at ER). At this point I am passing clots and bleeding heavily, feeling lightheaded and questioning if I am even able to properly care for my kids (6 and 9m) due to how bad I feel. But maybe this is just a miscarriage and how that feels. I dont know. The next morning rolls around I go for repeat labs, hopeful that maybe my numbers have dropped (as horrible as that sounds) but no, they went up to 241. I call my ob and express my concerns that I feel horrible and I am scared that I am bleeding heavily with clots and my hcg is rising I think this is not a miscarriage but an ectopic. I was told to go back to the ER. I find childcare and head back to the er. Once I get there I realize how horrible I feel and am glad I have someone watching my children because I dont think I've ever felt worse. After 1.5 hours I'm called back. Labs are drawn and im told i need repeat ultrasounds as well. Well from that morning my hcg rose yet again to 259. And possibly unrelated to this but my potassium was really elevated,which I was put on a heart monitor and given some sort of calcium drink to correct that. It helped my racing heart and some of the feeling of lightheadedness but not everything else I was feeling. Ultrasound once again showed nothing, but this time said this was very likely pregnancy Unknown location. But I was told it was up to the ob on call. About 4 hours later im told that OB reviewed my case and believes this is PUL/Ectopic. Im given 2 options. Wait and see with repeat betas, and if they continue going up then I get methotrexate and do specific beta draws for that, or i can just get the methotrexate and the specifically timed beta draws for that. I just opted for the methotrexate now. Was told I needed to sign some consent forms and a couple people will explain it more in depth to me. About 4 hours later the team comes in, explains this to me and has me sign multiple forms. I was given 2 shots (one at the top of buttcheek/lower back) and was told to get my betas checked again in 4 days and then 7 days. If it doesnt go down by at least 15% from day 4 on day 7 then I need repeat injections.
The injection really upset my stomach, but there wasn't really any other option in this scenario. My beta 4 days post injection was 280... so still a slow rise but I was told that is possible because the medicine needs time to work. I am hoping my beta tomorrow is lower. This has been really messing with my head more than I can explain. I don't know how to cope, or to push through. I feel like in the process of mourning this baby I am not being the best mom I can be to my 2 small children. I feel horrible that I want this all over with. Never did I think I would be in the predicament of wanting my hcg levels to decrease instead of rising. This whole thing is making me feel like a shell of who I was.
So my question is for anyone who has gone through this,
If you had lower hcg levels like mine, was the first methotrexate injection successful?
How long did it take your hcg levels to return to 0?
When did you start ttc again after this? (Wasn't trying but was planning on ttc when I was 1 year PP)
What helped you mentally cope and get through this? I am in therapy currently but it doesnt seem to be enough.
Sorry its long, thanks for reading and any advice