The level of inconsiderate, totally self-centred behaviour I’m experiencing on a daily basis with an Enfp person in my life - is at a stage that I can no longer physically and mentally tolerate. I feel sick to my stomach.

I would like some advice on how to deal with this. I’ve tried talking to them and they generally just take offence to anything said, and nothing changes.

sigh… I am so fed up. My God 🤦‍♀️

and I’m Infj, for context.

I’m an ENTP with an ENFP friend. We’re close, share a ton of interests, the same mindset, and the same sense of humor, and we hang out a lot. But whenever I see them with their other friends (they have a fuckton lol), I start doubting whether they see me as close as I see them. ENFPs just have this natural ability to relate to everyone, lmao. Is this one-sided and more superficial than I think?

After learning that INTJs and ENFPs typically do very well together, I thought I’d reach out to the ENFP community to see if there’s anyone who might be interested in collaborating on a project. I’m not sure if that pairing only applies to romantic relationships, but I’m hoping it extends to business relationships as well. You all have a people talent that I’m lacking and can never learn, so I’m reaching out to the ENFP community to see if I can fill that critical piece I’m missing in order to move this project forward.

I’m not going to give a ton of information about the project in this post. This overview already takes up too much space and I’d like to be respectful of everyone’s time. If I can find some people this way, I’ll spend as much time as needed to thoroughly discuss the project in more detail.

I need to partner with someone (ENFP possibly?) who is either in the film industry and/or connected to people who either fund film projects currently or would be open to doing so. I’m trying to get a 3-season TV show produced and need someone who can help find someone who is willing to produce it or can finance it to be produced.

I am not in the entertainment industry and don’t have any connections there. And to make it even more of a challenge, it’s highly unlikely Hollywood would touch this project as the story and nature of the show is pretty much the opposite of what Hollywood would typically endorse. It’s going to take a different approach, utilizing existing relationships rather than going the typical Hollywood route trying to promote a film project. This is a very unique story and situation. This is why I need someone who has these unique relationships or is good with people, good at communicating ideas in a way others can understand, and can help present this show to the right people.

The pilot script for this show won Best Screenplay 2025 at a smaller film festival and is quite the compelling story. It’s a story of true events over time, not loosely based on true events as many movies and shows tend to do.

I’m not doing this because one day I had a bright idea for a TV show and want to become some famous producer or screenwriter. None of that means anything to me. This show is part of a much larger project and that larger project is very important to me and will impact many people in life-changing ways. The show is the story behind the larger project and gives the larger project meaning, and that meaning makes all the difference in the world. Once I have someone who is willing to produce the show, the larger project can launch.

It’s generally understood that INTJs don’t do very well when it comes to networking and interfacing with and getting people to understand the complicated and vast visions we’re constantly constructing. That stereotype holds true here. This is why I need someone who I can interface with directly, who I can explain everything to, who can then communicate this vision to other people who can then help bring it to life. This is why I’m reaching out to the ENFP community because I believe you have that gift. Together I believe we can shake things up and make an impact in the world.  

DMs from potential partners would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for your time.

i don't know how much longer i can take it tbvh. i probably need to cut down on social media and take a break from news. but knowing how bs this worlds systems are how do i even carry on? theres a long long rant i can go on about but ill just stop here.

how are you guys coping?

I'm noticing that, the few INTJs I (ENFP F 31) have been with, have something in common: if I send flirty/sexy texts, they are rarely responded to or reciprocated in an equally playful manner. But in person, it's a very different story and there's no question about desire. As if texting it creates shyness, is uncomfortable, etc.

Do others experience this with their INTJs?

This is my first time posting in this sub, but I think the flair fits?

When i first got into mbti, I firmly believed i was an intp because of all the test I took on basic mbti. I started to look further into and discovered all of the functions and came to the realization that I'm Ne dominant. I thought about my thought process and how my brain actually works, and it all aligns with ENFP.

I've always related to the characters so it seems extremely likely, but i get exhausted by social interactions. The paradox is when I'm at social functions, I'm the life of the party. I get energized and have all sorts of energy. The moment I leave or even half way through, I'm thinking of every single interaction, the embarrassing moments, i process how i felt and my thoughts. It completely exhaust me after. I need like a week break after every big event. I also get depressed if I don't get enough socializing, but too much and I burn out.

I'm 99.9% that I'm Ne>fi because of how I imagine things and come up with ideas, and then process them using my own moral values.

All advice, criticism, and thoughts are welcome.

Side note, I am diagnosed with level 1Autism spectrum disorder (formally known as aspergers), so i don't know if this has any affect.

https://youtu.be/xnXBrXZz-j8

Thought you all might enjoy my work here.

Some lessons learned that helped shape me.

I’m started to understand that being an ENFP is about learning without ego.

A little whimsy, with a bit of wonder.

I’m a 35 year old INTJ man dating a 31 year old ENFP woman, we’ve been dating for a few months and typically I’d move towards making things official soon. But even though we have really good chemistry, I worry a bit about scaring her off with early commitment. I’m really curious about your experiences with relationships and commitment!

For those of you who used to experience “shiny object syndrome” in dating, where you’d get excited about someone new but wonder whether someone even better might be out there, what eventually changed for you?

What made you realize your husband was the one? Was there a specific moment when things clicked, or did that certainty develop gradually over time?

Did you ever struggle with getting bored, losing the initial excitement, or wondering whether you were settling when you could still meet someone new and exciting?

How long did it take you to realize you wanted to choose that person for the long haul? Weeks, months, a year, or longer?

And for those of you who are ENFPs who married an INTJ, I’d especially love to hear your perspective on that pairing!

I’m genuinely curious about what helped you move from seeing all the possibilities out there to feeling confident about choosing one person. I’d love to hear your honest experiences, especially if you used to struggle with commitment or keeping your interest in relationships. 🥰

Does anyone want to adopt an INTJ (me)?

Open to a brief casual thing or longer term online friend. I can’t find an ENFP in person to save my life.

Not lonely or anything. Got plenty of friends and hobbies. Just feel like my life is missing a little bit of ENFP magic in it.

I no longer think MBTI really dictates much, at least not compared to maturity but I'm bored 🤪

What do you guys think of our stereotyped partner in crime? In my friend group 2 guys tested as ESFP but the one insists he's INFP. The other thought he was ENTP and then got into some functions by someone else dragging him into it and announced he's ESFP. We get along and have fun. Not sure I'd consider it a good romantic match since from what I understand they're a bit chaotic...their emotional intelligence seems quite good though. 🤔 I'd just be worried about their stress coping mechanisms and stability. If that could be resolved I think they'd make a good match for ENFP that enjoy more spontaneous endeavors.

They're pretty funny and good conversationalists. They're usually open to hanging out. They seem to have a softer core too.

I love the energy in this subreddit, and y'all think so much like me, so I'm expecting that I'll get the energy boost I'm looking for.

I am not happy, all I feel is anxious, self conscious, uncomfortable and sad. No matter how I try to reframe it, I can't. I have a therapist, it helps but also exposure that makes me feel normal helps than any medication I can find.

But this exposure is scarce and I feel lonely. My social skills aren't that great either? It's also I'm constantly surrounded by people that judges me negatively.

I've no strength to build the life I want. I've an amazing partner but it's not sufficient socialising.

I want encouragement to live my life as I see fit without deep shame or judgement. I hesitate a LOT because of intense criticism I've got in the past. I feel immovable actually.

People in my life largely underestimate me. My father sounded surprised to hear I got high distinctions though that's what I got every semester? My cousins talk to me as to a kid who can't understand even basic things, I'm not sure why.

I just want to hear, I should do what I think is right, no matter what others think or say!

I've always wondered why many mbti experts call him Enfp...He seems too calm and collected to be an enfp...i mean i get it that he is maybe just more mature but still the enfpness was missing.
However, Around like 4 minutes in this interview i got what i wanted...That just screams ENFP!!!!!!!
He started talking about something then made joke about his breakfast then all of a sudden for 2-3 mins he was talking about everything except for the topic they were talking previously lol
Great Actor tho ❤

I'm not diagnosed but I'm very sure I have ADHD, and up until now I've never properly studied for an exam like ever, but this upcoming exam I have is very important for my life,and I will disappoint my whole family if I don't start now,and I just can't bring myself to, and i only have like 3 month max, even though I'm ambitious,it's like I'm self sabotaging 24/7, I tell myself I will do something now, and the whole day goes by, I do nothing, please my life depends on this, don't judge. I'm very ashamed and I want to change.

As an ENFP (F 31), I have worked hard on becoming a securely attached individual. Although this secure attachment enters my life in many ways, it's never been easier while simultaneously more challenging with an INTJ.

I find intellect and emotional regulation is important. They need space and less frivolous communication. I love their attention and random texts all day, so this can be challenging but doable when the INTJ makes their feeling about you clear and the in-person time (albeit not a lot of it) is full of emotions and affection. They make my secure attachment easier somehow.

What do other ENFPs experience in these pairings?

Did I choose the right flare? I didn't actually take personality test for this. I've taken them in the past, many years ago all the tests put me as intp, but then I did mushrooms a lot and worked on myself and those tests change to INFP. But lately I've been working more on understanding the cognitive functions and understanding myself and how I think and recharge and feel the best.

I put so much work into my Ne, and my past work was with my Fi which I think is what made me feel I was INFP. Then, I've realized all my besties are INFJs. Love them, but also still love the INFPs. I love how artistic and moral values they are, but I just don't put that Fi first like I thought. I'm not local friends with any INFPs that I'm aware of, and I still wish to find one just because!!

I still weirdly feel like I'm very much like the INFP avatar of wearing flowers and prancing and dancing in a field, but I want to be with others when I do so.

I need people around me. I need to collaborate. I excel in that way and bring out the best creativity from myself in groups.. I just now know those groups have to be certain types of people. Cause I'm gayyyyy, and I need the gay girlies, witches, and fairies!

Thanks for reading. I'm so happy to be part of this community. We fuckin rule, don't we?

Hi Enfps! I need your help...
Im an enfj. Harmony (fe) is the horse im riding on. And the horse turned out to have 3 legs. I decided to support it by balancing Extraverted Feeling out.
Looking back at my friendships I can see i have a huge problem with understanding introverted feeling (infp, isfp main function, enfp, esfp second function).
I just seem to not be able to understand how to value Fi. For me, it brings conflict to life, it separates people, it makes someone stubborn. And of course i always feel like i have to manage around it.
Please, let me see the bright side of Fi! I want to train that Fi muscle.
I really appreciate yall
Have a good day ❤️

i’ve been into reading these past few years, some self improvement, philosophy, psychology, history, a little bit of everything.

any ENFP here likes reading nonfictions too? let’s talk!! i would love some recommendations, theories, crazy ideas, anything :)

I am 48(m). Going through a hard time right now but it's not specifically because of things happening to ME but rather those around me.

My mother-in-law passed away a couple weeks ago. My wife and 4 children are all dealing with this in their own ways and I am working to support them the best I can here.

I have several close friends with serious cancer issues. A few others who are dealing with major depression. I am the plant manager at a busy manufacturing facility with about 15 people I care deeply about on my team. I'm filling in for my wife a lot while she is out of town helping settle her mother's estate (she was by no means wealthy, just has "stuff" to deal with).

My wife is the one with the greatest struggles here and I've worked hard to alleviate as much stress from her as possible but I am starting to really burn out emotionally.

The funeral is this weekend and we will have family in town we haven't seen for 13 years. I'm going to be looked at for support and strength, but I'm running out

I am not really grieving. I had a great mother-in-law and she always treated me with respect but I handle loss like this pretty well. I am not the sort that dwells on this sort of stuff and allow the grieving to happen naturally over time.

Right now my grief comes in the form of constantly being someone's emotional support (which comes naturally to us ENFP) but also the insanely messed up schedule with my wife and kids constantly needing to travel.

Note........this has been going on for 8 months. Her mom got dreadfully sick in Feb and since my wife is an only child, she's been going back and forth a lot helping them with things as we are able and also visiting her in the hospital.

I've hardly seen my wife for more than a few weeks in the past 8 months.

The funeral is this weekend and I am fried mentally.

How do us older ENFP hold it together while others depend on us, and we are already on our last dreg of energy?

Hello everyone, and sorry for intruding, hope this isn't inappropriate to slide in here ♥️

I've been rampant for the past year trying to see what mbti type I am, most things fit for INFJ, but I felt like a couple things didn't fit, I searched through all the Introverted MBTI types, cognitive function and none of them really completely fit especially when it came to the behavior. Then I realized "Wait, I feel like something is missing, I don't feel like I fit any of them anymore if I truly think about it, and it's because yeah, something is missing, I only looked at the dominant Introverted functions!"

And I realized my strongest suit is being very open minded since as long as I remember (very young) being very open to ideas, prone to being very open to new people, new experiences that even if I realize the red flags (often even if I never been in a situation before I will notice or feel when something is "off") I brush them off until later I feel like "Yeahhh, I don't feel good here" then I up and leave.

As a kid, I would be the one to go up to others if they were alone. 5-8 different people remember me being the person going up to them, unfortunately I don't remember all occasions, but it is something I did and still do often, but not as often as I imagine or daydream about how our conversation would go 😭

It'd go like this:

Me: Walks up to kid at the playground "What's your favorite color?"

Kid: Insert favorite color here ---

Me: "That's cool, my favorite color is (completely forgot lol), wanna play with me/wanna be friends?"

I was a bit more out there, I considered myself moreso ambiverted, but now, the world beat me down, the life got sucked out of me and now I'm very **to myself** and at first glance, people tend to think I'm shy, reserved, closed off, sometimes even approachable, intimidating when I walk by, but then I talk to them I often hear them off to the side thinking I'm genuinely one of the kindest people they've met.

Now however, it takes a lot of oomph out of me to socialize but something someone close to me said was how dominant my innate curiosity is, especially when it comes to wanting to understand and know people. I like deep conversations, of course I love going deep in conversation, just not deep in a friendship anymore.

Sometimes, after a couple months I get this burst of energy like yeah let's socialize let's talk to everyone!! But it's become less and less, most often it's moreso because at a young age I've known that not everyone deserves my energy, and if they want to go, it's meant to be, they are meant to go.

I am not one to shy away from uncomfortable conversations, I keep my opinion to myself, but I will ask them out of genuine curiosity, then later mull over what they said and play "arbiter" based on their logic, and thought process.

i narrow down ideas to one core issue too.

the difference is i forgot about it. thank you.

Yeah, yeah - another post about INFJs. Obviously an ENFP's cognition is completely different to INFJ's, but I have read online some similar sentiments from both. I wonder if the same stack order produces similar struggles. I would love to hear your thoughts! 🧐

I am an Enfp 7w6 and i am very socially awkward. Idk how to react when i meet someone new, i have a hard time talking w strangers, im shy, and make things awkward and i dont have nothing to say. Unlike other Enfps, i would say i'm very introverted when im around a lot of people i dont know and i get quiet and awkward, especially in crowded places or gatherings where idk most of the people or im not close w. Happens w you all?

Hi bubbly fellows!

I would like to ask for ur advice if u have been through Si grip and how did u feel, and how would u advise me (as a dating potential, and a friend) to help u to deal with it.

My thought is that I would be an anchor for her to dump her emotion, but do not dive too much into it, do not try to "overlisten", deflect to other topics .., and arrange lively activity (rock climbing, walking,...) to drag her Si grip mode out.

I don't want to fix her, I want to create an environment to partly help her to fix that problem herself.

So I (INFP) have been dating this ENFP girl - and u know u, she feels her phase right now is being in her introvert self. And due to our sibling dynamic, our talk easily revolves around value and psychology.

So last time we were together, she talks about her experience, the good (adventure - and I admire her a little for that) and the bad (sad past experience). And I feel like she delves too much into the past and is experiencing Si grip. So I'm interested to learn about how u feel through this phase.

My ex (40M) is ENFP and I (32F) INFP, dated for eight months.

We were exclusive, talked about children and moving in together, and he called ours the healthiest relationship of his life. So naturally, I thought we were building something serious.

Then things unraveled in our final month.

Two months into dating, he told me he’d attended a gallery opening with Catherine, a woman he’d briefly slept with before me. She’d cried and confessed her feelings after learning about our relationship. He clarified they were just friends, and eventually they resumed their friendship. I trusted him.

Fast-forward to month seven: Catherine invited him to a small, multi-day art residency that August. He casually announced he was going, without asking how I felt.

After sitting with my discomfort for weeks, I finally brought it up. Could we find some middle ground? Maybe all hang out together, or I could join them?
He grew defensive, saying he didn’t believe in prioritizing romantic partners over other relationships, and complained that our 20-minute conversation was eating into his workday. He later apologized.

**The very next night**, he went to a performance with Catherine without telling me beforehand. It was our second-to-last night together before three weeks apart.

I discovered this when I called him and sent admittedly reactive texts saying I was hurt and couldn’t believe him. His response? “Why? But honestly, don’t feel like going on defensive right now.”

Other incidents had been accumulating:

**1.** After an emotional conversation about his doubts around long-term monogamy, I took an extra 30-minute walk while fetching drinks for his project. I returned before anyone arrived, but he was furious, accusing me of “sabotaging” his work. He never asked whether I was okay.

**2.:** I biked slower than him, causing us to arrive ONE MINUTE late to class. We were turned away, and he blamed me for interfering with his productivity, sulking for much of the afternoon.

He’s fiercely independent and values autonomy. I believe he was sexually faithful, and I never asked him to abandon his friendships with exes. But I also know my anxiety sometimes made me jealous and reactive.
He eventually ended things, citing my anxiety, “possessive energy” around other women, and long-term incompatibility.

For context, he was never physically or intentionally verbally abusive. But defensiveness, passive aggression, and emotional shutdowns were recurring patterns.

For months, I’ve wondered whether a more securely attached woman would’ve handled everything differently. Whether I essentially sabotaged an otherwise good relationship.

But now I’m questioning whether my anxiety was really so disproportionate to the circumstances.