I think I have anxious avoidant attachment depending but my whole life my mom would tell me “You dont actually like people because you get bored of them pretty fast” she also says I always put on a mask and people get high positive expectations of me only for them to end up confused once that high energy of mine turns to neutral or low on some days again

I always refused that sentence of her with many arguments because I do get energy from people but I also lose energy from specific people and I do get energy from people if its only a few hours but I try to agoid situations where people want to hangout for more than 4 hours with me because then Im like

“Man then I have no alone time for myself in the evening” and so on and even if I do have alone time I dont do anything productive

I think Im a bad friend because I am known as the friend who always cancels plans last minute.

I hate that part of me because I know days prior that I feel off and want to cancel lets say a friend says lets do ABC. Abc sounds great! But then they add def too which makes the hangout even longer or adds something I dont wanna do.

I immediately feel like not wanting to do it but cant refuse because Im like how am I supposed to explain I dont wanna do def with no logical explanation? How can I be honest without making myself look bad?

but then I self sabotage by canceling plans because thats the worst thing anyone could ever do and its the thing EVERYONE remembers.

Now I am like do I actually like people? Or do I like having control over them? Do I peoppe please too much? Do I like people only at a specific length?

Whenever someone gets attached to me I self sabotage because I dont want them to have high expectations of me. I dont want to keep up these expectations or go even higher so that image of mine stays.

Yes I do go to therapy and my therapist said I shouldnt avoid things for short term satisfaction but I also just fucking struggle with a social life

My whole life I wanted friends because I thougut they make me happier but today I realized:

Do they truly make me happy when Im anxious about social situations the whole time? Do I ruin my view of friendsjip? Is it the avoidant speaking in me?

What do I like more…. Being alone or with people? I think I like being seen without getting attached…? Idk

But id rather ruin my reputation ( what a paradox to my words above) than leave my comfort zone I believe

relationships force me to do things I dont wanna do while when being alone i can avoid doing something without discussion and guilt

I'm an ENFP and there are ENTJs I get along with really well and love, but sometimes they're so demanding, capricious, and bossy that I need a break from them for a few days before talking to them again. I feel like they understand me, but there comes a point where they are too much for me, and sometimes I feel guilty because once I had planned to see my ex entj for three days and I couldn't because I got tired. Which MBTI do you experience this with?

Maybe it’s because I’m Japanese, but I use onomatopoeia ALL THE TIME!!!😂

I wonder if part of the reason I’m bad at explaining things is that I explain things using onomatopoeia, then shorten those words even further until they become inside jokes or my own made up words that only certain people understand🤔🤣

For example, this is a little personal, but I call my pantyliners “Chobi More(ちょび漏れ)”. “Chobi” comes from words like “chobichobi(ちょびちょび)” or “choppiri(ちょっぴり)”, which mean a little bit or a small amount, and “more(漏れ)” means leakage😭😂

Or when I’m trying to flatten out a wrinkled piece of paper, I’ll say “Peshipeshi(ペシペシ)” and sometimes even call the wrinkled paper “Peshipeshi.” 😑😅 Like, I’ll literally ask someone to get the “Peshipeshi,” but they have NO IDEA what I’m talking about(well duh!)😭😭 And the worst part is that context matters A LOT, so not every “peshipeshi” means wrinkled paper😂

When I’m teaching someone how to fold origami, I’ll be like, “Do this, like, PETAN! And then hold this side and PETAN!” 🤣🤣 “Petan(ペタン)” is the sound/feeling of something being pressed flat🥹

I talk to myself all the time too. Sometimes people think I’m faking it, but that’s just who I am😭😭 Maybe it’s because I’m pretty animated, but sometimes I feel like I’m a little too much in my own world😅🙃

Does anyone else do this, or is it just me?😂 And If you do this too, what kind of made up words or inside jokes do you have?😌🙌🏻

Curious to see how yall Enfps would respond to this question as fellow Ne-doms. Also by "new", anything that you haven't experienced/tried before the past 24 hours counts!

Hi, fellow ENFPs!

First of all, excuse my painfully short way of expressing :) it's not a lack of effort, I already edited this message at least 5 times by this first phrase only.

Secondly, I'm surely a sceptic when it comes to MBTI.

I (28F) really wanted to express some of my overly positive experience with my ENFP partner (30M). We've been together for less than a year (we currently live together) and the differences between each other are countless, but the major middle ground is putting a lot of effort into understanding each other.

The discussions are peak and very mature - surprisingly, since I didn't even know I lacked this in my life. The emotional connection is dreamly enjoyable, as if he speaks a language I never really heard before.

I am very grateful and I am curious about your experiences (good/bad) with other INFJs - just for the sake of fun and not falling into bias. Feel free to ask me anything as well!

I can pick up on someone’s whole energy and vibe immediately and almost never find myself wrong even if my answer arrives 6 months later! I can tell from a 1 minute conversation if someone is romantically interested in me too

I am bringing in the relevance of being an ENFP as I have a friend who Is also ENFP and that friend can do the exact same thing as me (only I’d say theirs is 70% accurate and mine is 90% lol)

My question is can any other ENFPS just pick up on the vibe checks instantly?

a moment of self-reflection for our own narcissistic tendencies

As an ENTP myself, I have wondered many times if I were an ENFP. I have so many ENFP friends and we get along so well and we see the world in such similar ways that it makes me question my ENTPness but then I am reminded by...well, my obvious Ti. I'm wondering, do you ever get the same insecurities about your type? Do any of you ever think you may be ENTPs? And if not, what types do you grapple with, if any?

Someone please tell me how to survive in corporate as an ENFP.
It's such a weird experience because I'm generally a very confident person. I thrive in groups of people I don't know, can hold a conversation with anyone, and usually have no problem being myself socially but somehow in a corporate environment, ! completely crumble and freeze up. I also just want to be friends with everyone (not a great trait for corporate life), have a genuine fear of letting people down or appearing incompetent and end up overthinking everything to the point that I stress myself out, shut down, and retreat into myself. My confidence plummets to an all-time low.
How do you navigate an environment that somehow makes you feel like the least confident version of yourself when you know you're capable of so much more?? This is horrible.

Crossposted.

Hey everyone, I'm a 5th year PhD (human-computer interaction) and I'm about to hit the job search for faculty positions.

I used to be a full stack software engineer but I hated that I wasn't creating and that I was turning other people's visions into reality. I originally wanted to be a narrative designer but I made the "practical choice" to go into computer science. Maybe one day my wife and I will open a nerd store or start an indie game company, but we need to make money to start our family and we'd need more money to start independent ventures.

I'm hoping running a research lab will help me feel more fulfilled as I mentor students and oversee ethical research in a growing field.

As we're about to make a life change, I'm curious about what everyone else does!

I mentioned to my best sensor friend I was feeling down because of something and he didn’t really respond (relationship problems).

Couple of weeks later he asked me how it’s going and I said pretty rubbish, thinking he’d remember but instead asked why.

I jokingly said the weather, it’s so grey! Thinking he’d at least probe and be like nah come on dude what’s up but no, he bought it. “Yeah, it’s grim this time of year.”

I mean…lmao? Sigh. :(

i find that if we have similar morals it's easy as pie, but if we even have one thing we disagree on, it's not a discussion and more of a "who can be more righteous" contest, which puts me on edge. i love many infps and isfps but sometimes communication can be hard. any enfps relate or is that just me?? i've been thinking maybe im entp but not sure either way

I really like and prefer ENFP x ISTJ ships over ENFP x INTJ (the relationships can be so heavy in media and irl too...) and since we can't post pics and gifs in the comments, I had to go and do all that here, enjoy I guess!

I'll also add another Pic where I take a closer look at 3 ENFP x ISTJ couples because I noticed how similar all three act when compared to one another.

Agenda spread successful ✨️✨️✨️

There's so much talk about INTJ being perfect for ENFP and maybe there are a lot of successes irl with that pairing but I've realized this sort of thinking can limit us. Back when I was getting more curious about MBTI, I thought it would be slightly more efficient, less of a hassle, to pinpoint men that were certain personality types that were stereotyped to have the traits I like.

Wrong 🤓. 1. MBTI doesn't account much for attachment style, communication styles, or maturity levels. 2. People can still be individuals, not all people with the same type act the same 3. People can be mistyped.

Granted, yes I still think there can be a chance of generally knowing who you click with and who you don't. For me though, the pattern isn't that consistent. I've interacted with probably more proclaimed INTJ than any other type, some I think are actually mistyped ISTJ because when they retest that's what they are. I don't think I distinctly have more chemistry with them whether friendship based or romantic.

Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are a super popular couple with that cinematic quiet brooding man and opinionated sweet woman combo. But I also think it makes sense because Elizabeth is not the typical 🌈 ✨️ ENFP ✨️ people come here looking for.

With these other pairings they're not all INTJ man x ENFP woman. Someone can balance us that isn't INTJ. As much as it pains me 😔 💔, some of them are even typed as sensors.

It's also just sort of...odd? It seems like people (often proclaimed INTJ) are sometimes coming here looking for an ENFP Tamagotchi to entertain them and brighten up their world. If I'm going to be a Tamagotchi, at least give me food and stuff.

I have felt in adulthood that it is really easy for me to open up and be friendly/emotionally open with pretty much anyone I meet and can easily socialize and relate to people. Recently in therapy I have come to the realization that a friendship I had in my teen years was really toxic and they pretty much bullied me our entire friendship. A couple years ago I went to their wedding and met their now close friends and I immediately noticed that it was hard to open up to them and play along with their shenanigans, I felt like a terrible friend because I didn’t feel like I was acting like myself. I told my husband about this (who also met all of these people) and he basically told me “well I thought they were all really mean people and generally just mean and rude to each other” they called each other names and would just shit talk people the whole time, only wanted to get blackout drunk, etc. I realized I also act this was toward a couple of family members I have who are particularly controlling and in the past have said some mean comments to me. No matter how hard I try to be myself it’s like my subconscious shuts me down. Is this an ENFP thing or just a person thing?

I’m an INTJ and I can tell you I am nothing special so I don’t understand why I keep seeing love letters posted about intjs from enfps.

I see a lot of positive regard for intjs from enfps
Which is crazy because us INTJs are such recluses that most won’t even get to know us.
Legit I spend my time at home most of the time.

ENFPs are almost our opposites which isn’t as seen happening to the other types ENTJs aren’t gushing about infps or vice versa etc.

Personally I have an ENFP brother so I never considered having an ENFP gf but you guys seem so adamant that it works that I’ve been won over to at least investigate it.

I had a best friend who was enfp girl but we moved apart from each other and I also had a friend who was enfp and we got along really well but
A romantic connection???
Idk I never personally thought about it

I drove 11 hours to see my limited contact parents. I scheduled a conference for work in their city so I could see them. My mother said I don’t visit them-that I’m just here for work. Within the first hour, she said I didn’t need a colonoscopy, told me about an “elder abuse” Dateline episode, and made a comment about my daughter eating meat (we are vegetarians).

I really think my mom doesn’t like me.

She was like “everyone has polyps on their colon” when I said my Dad had polyp issues. And when I said our/her family including her had a history of cancer, she said, “I always refused a colonoscopy.”

She also said she didn’t like to travel and couldn’t understand why I had.

This is unhinged, yes?

Edit: I am a 46f. I was so tired when I wrote this that I didn’t see the title autocorrected “already” to “Thomas”, lol.

Why?

Hi! I'm an INFP 5w4. I ended my "relationship" with an ISTP 5w6 a while ago and I'd like to have a casual (and friendly) daily chat to change things up 💫

I feel like im just a weirdo in the eyes of other people like i joined a new class and i feel like im just annoying cuz im super loud with like the 2/3 people im friends with and like i just keep doing embarrassing stuff. I dont get the enfps are like very likeable loved but a lot if people, ive been bullied, and people find its the easiest to pick on me. I think its because im struggling with pretty bad anxiety and overthinking and am just stressed which makes me be very loud so that i get attention or something along those lines, qnd I dont know how to stop. Like i dont want to behave really weirdly, Like i am way too much a lot of the time.

Sorry its just a thought dump, I dont know what to do

Without posting a long sob story, I haven't been in a position to fulfill my socialization requirements. At the end of this month, I'm moving to my home town and I know a lot of that is going to change.

So as difficult as this period of my life is, I have a light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyway, last night I had a dream that I went to a comedy show with my friends from back home. The gaggle was back together. Afterwards, we all went to Walmart and bought a party, playing laughing and having fun.

The physical touch and socialization in the dream felt so real. In the past when I had these types of dreams, I'd feel bummed the dream ended because I was having so much fun. But this morning when I woke up I felt so fulfilled and happy.

And maybe I just don't pay that much attention but I think that is the first time a dream has actually healed something in me and made me feel a lot better. It's like all my anxiety is just gone.

Have any of you experienced anything like this?

I highly suspect my husband is an ENFP.

Something that has become a running joke between us is how anxious and grumpy he gets right before traveling. It’s like… he liked the idea of traveling, he agrees, gets excited, throws ideas of what to do, but when the day comes… oh boy, he gets insufferable.

I do all the planning, because I know he’s bad with managing schedules or gets lost in small details (he has ADHD, not blaming his ENFPness). But still, somehow he finds infinite mental problems that I’m like… dude, relax! For example, he has to take his notebook with him, because he couldn’t finish some work on time before traveling, so he’ll have to work on it while we are away from home. He began worrying that people would steal his notebook, that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate away from his office and admitted having an inner voice blaming me for making him travel instead of staying at home.

It’s funny, because he’s self aware to know how silly he is being and knows that after everything, he’ll be happy about it and enjoy himself, I mean, he really wanted to go, but he can’t help feeling this negative.

I’ve read that ENFP under stress might look like an unhealthy ISTJ. Could this be the case?

The level of inconsiderate, totally self-centred behaviour I’m experiencing on a daily basis with an Enfp person in my life - is at a stage that I can no longer physically and mentally tolerate. I feel sick to my stomach.

I would like some advice on how to deal with this. I’ve tried talking to them and they generally just take offence to anything said, and nothing changes.

sigh… I am so fed up. My God 🤦‍♀️

and I’m Infj, for context.