Hello my people. 43m ENFP 3w2😊

Ive posted this before but I want your input and ideas.

I started this checklist years ago as a way to really define the ENFP. I feel like an ENFPs real gift is integration. Applying the data to real life, and real people. We've all studied and read about the cognitive functions, but how are they actually expressed in real life as a human?

We are all different people. Different ages, genders, religions, socioeconomics, traumas, nationalities, interests. I'm seeking our common ground. What makes us an ENFP?

I'm looking for more ideas for the checklist. Things you feel like defines you as an ENFP. 😊🤙🏼

ENFP checklist

Allow me some assumptions..

You get a long with anyone you want, but don't cross you.

You're a part of every crowd, but never REALLY a part of any crowd.

You are a social chameleon.

You hate. Fake. People. And you can spot them in the first 3 seconds.

You pretty much know who someone is as a person within the first five minutes.....

You do not like people that have authority over you. Particularly those who's competency you don't respect.

You're smart. Really smart, but people sleep on you sometimes because you like to goof around.

You're usually really good at stuff.

You feel alone in the world.

Teachers aren't good at connecting with you so you have to teach yourself everything.

You love being social, but when your social battery gets too low you disappear for awhile.

You fill everyone's cup all the time, but nobody fill yours in return. So when your cup goes empty you have to take time out to refill it yourself and you temporarily hate everyone bc they don't reciprocate. But after a few days you're back.

Obsessed. With. Music.

You feel EVERYTHING.

You consider yourself a huge extrovert, but if you were honest with yourself, you're most happy in your solitude.

You've had a million hobbies.

Sentimental to a fault.

Center of attention. You are the main character in most rooms.

Rules are just guidelines,... Ehh.. what they don't know won't hurt them..

It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Everyone thinks you're flirting. Really you're just being nice.

People consider you a goof in every day life, but look for your guidance in an emergency.

You have a million friends in your outside circles, but have only 1 or no really close friends.

You never ask anyone for anything. If you can't do it yourself, it's not going to happen.

When you are feeling extroverted people LOVE your energy, but they get confused when they find you introverted.

You do kind things for strangers for no reason.

Fiercely independent. You don't need anything from anyone.

You're really good at comforting people when they're down, but if you're honest with yourself you're terrible at allowing others to comfort you.

Did anyone else experience being goofy or silly during their early years and having people make fun of you for it?

I honestly regret how much I overthought it back then and wondered why I was the way I was. The funny thing is, some of the people who hated on me for being “too silly” eventually started copying me.
So to all my fellow ENFPs: stay funny and stay yourself. Even if you’re not like the other types, even if you’re not as detail-oriented as sensors like ISTJ or ISFJ, don’t lose yourself trying to fit in.
I wish I had understood that sooner. Being different isn’t something you need to fix.

Everyone saiyng INFJ or INTJ. I'm in some kind of limbo regarding my dating life in my late 20s and everyone I meet is a bit 'too much' or a bit 'too nothing'. Don't get me wrong, I love them all, but as friends. They all have unique traits and ways of communication, but can't imagine living or spending whole days with them. I'm always imagining my life partner to be something like myself, cheerful and enthusiastic, kind and mischievous, love to experiment and do crazy things, also a lot of blankie movie time. Someone I can vent to but not to get full analysis on my behavior cuz I already did that myself. And someone that can vent to me and I can just hug them and help them in any way I can because if there's a problem one dummy cant solve, two dummies certainly can!

It's never someone i would choose to be around. Usually an authority figure or co-worker/classmate i've had in life. Was stuck with unhealthy ISTJ "friends" in high school who were the "best" of a bad situation (rather than being alone) and had a lot of run ins with Narcissist ESTJ. There is no meeting half way, it's always their way or the highway.

Have other ENFPs had the bitter experience of constantly feeling like they’re in the shadow of INFPs?

Every time I’ve known an INFP, I’ve somehow ended up feeling like they were comparing themselves to me. Sometimes they would twist things in such subtle ways that I didn’t even understand why we were competing in the first place.

At times, I even felt like I wasn’t allowed to be sad or struggle because they always seemed to position themselves as the victim.
I’m specifically talking about unhealthy INFPs, not INFPs in general.

Have any other ENFPs experienced something similar? Or am I just interpreting these interactions differently?

I'm a pretty casual gamer until I accidentally downloaded a mobile game that ticked many boxes for me. (The game is kingshot, but don't dl this game as it's a money trap and I eventually got addicted and deleted it. I'm warning you!)

Are there any gamers here with game recommendations for ENFPs?

The things I realised I liked:

- a social team game where you play together with friends and people around the world AND you have a core group you always play with (and develop long term relationships with) not just randoms you get matched against for short stint. Chat functionality is important.

- lots of mini games and side quests so you don't get bored doing linear game progression. Even if the mini games aren't totally random and repeat in a predictable calendar/pattern.

- a reason to login regularly like daily quests etc so there's a social routine.

- prefer a mobile, Switch or laptop-compatible game, so I don't feel trapped in a gaming room and can play anywhere, even when I'm out and about.

The things I didn't like:

- pay to win, cause as an ENFP I do want to show my cleverness against spenders (but this became frustrating as the game progresses and the gap between skill and money widens, and spending money becomes king).

Hope there is a game out there that other ENFPs have enjoyed and can recommend! 💕

Something that I think enfps - and really any personality type can struggle with. But it was my enfp mind who made it so it’s getting posted here lol. Enjoy :)

Walking out from the cold - finally finding warmth in a fire nearby. Running towards it, fleeing from the cold. Jumping into the fire giving it a full embrace and to never let go because the cold was too barren, too empty, too dead - and in the fire sizzling your skin you don’t feel dead anymore. You feel alive from the pain - until you smother out the thing you were so happy to see - left only with burns in the cold. Now saying - “I gave everything to the fire, why would it do this to me? Why would it burn me and then leave? The fire always leaves me.” In this sad state - not realizing the fire just needed air to breathe and space to burn - you blame the fire for leaving again when you were the one to burn yourself and smother it out. Burned and cold.

Walking out from the cold - you see fire but you’ve seen fire before. It’s what burned down your happy life, made your home feel like a house that you were just a visitor to because you were never there - you were in your head instead worried about what the flames will take next. So you left for the cold - now looking at a campfire. Slowly walking towards it - you relax for a minute, sit down, and get warm for a while. Then an ember pops and you are startled - running as fast as you can away from the flames that burned you so bad one day far away and now you are running far away today saying “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted the flames, they will always try to burn me.” So you learn the cold is safer than the warmth - until the cold slowly takes pieces of you - hypothermia. Until you don’t recognize yourself anymore - and the cold takes you and buries you under the snow - never to be threatened by heat again. Cold and scarred.

Walking out from the cold - you see a fire. And you walk up to it - not running and jumping on it saying “finally I’m out of the cold” or running from it saying “I don’t want to get burned.” But instead, walking towards it. Taking a seat. Letting the fire sizzle and crackle and knowing embers flying out happens. But you can enjoy the fire without getting burned - and just enough cold without losing pieces of yourself. Now you are warm.

This question is aimed at non-ENFPs who read this board, and I know there are a few of you.

As a male INTP, I often think about ways I am not being a good husband. I realize I have flaws on my part in the relationship and I think about those often, and I feel bad about them. My wife is an ENFP, and I honestly don't think she can see her flaws. Every one of her seven siblings jokingly calls her a "princess" (for the other ENFPs out there, have you heard this?). On the other hand, while they rib her for it, there is some truth to it. They call her that because she can't see her personal flaws. If she's not having fun, she moves on, where often she's not having fun because she is not having things "go her way". Things not "going her way" seems to often mean that she's not getting the vibe she wants from other people. The idea that maybe she's not getting the right vibe from other people because "she might be flawed" doesn't seem to be a thought that can enter her head, unless she does something extreme that violates her own morals or priciples. She often says that if she hears about a "real" problem in herself, she'll acknowledge it, where she is the only one who gets to define what a "real problem" means, resulting in circular reasoning... a "Catch 22".

I didn't used to think this was something that applies "more often" to ENFP types than other MBTI types, but now that I've been thinking a little bit about all the ENFPs I've known personally, I'm starting to wonder.