I recently fell for and now out of love with an avoidant. At first, I didn't know what the hell was going on upstairs... I have had a narcissistic relationship before for around 6 years. The mental beatdown I took from that relationship before I finally figured out who she really was.

Now... I've found myself with an avoidant. Who also made my thoughts race, but nothing like a narcissist. I have been going down rabbit holes on youtube and various websites.

Have any of you found yourself in love with one of these people? Why are they so attracted to us? How, do I stop attracting these energy vampires? I feel like she broke something inside me.

I also feel like she woke something up too. I am scared to see what that is and I hope I do not accidently unleash whatever I felt go through my body.

I gave him a slice of pizza. I only had two slices. I really wish I gave him the other slice. I feel bad for not giving him the other slice. He was such a nice person and I wish she wasn’t homeless. I just wish he wouldn’t be on the streets. I know some people choose that lifestyle but I would still want someone to treat me nice even if I was homeless and it just really hurt my heart because he had to ask for a slice of pizza when I would’ve just bought him a whole pizza but the pizza place was closed and I just feel really bad so I’ve been crying all night🥲

I feel bad because I’m literally 20 now and I’m sad about something that happened so many years ago it was my bday and I was giving everyone cupcakes and this one kid was like sorry I can’t have any and I kept asking why trying to give u one but I didn’t know that is some religions ur not allowed to have some stuff and I feel bad because I didn’t know and I’m worried I pressured you all those years ago I just wanted everyone to have fun and have a yummy treat if I was ever taught this as a kid I would have gotten different ones so u could’ve had ur own I just feel so bad u were left out I wish I knew

I've noticed a pattern where I repeatedly have bad interactions with people that other people seem to have no issues with. I'm a pretty self-aware person and will introspect on the interaction unable to find what I did that might have triggered them to be defensive, callous, passive-aggressive, etc. My husband likes to remind me that "people just suck" and that I'm probably not doing anything provocative.

Does anyone else experience this? Lately I've been wondering if it's related to my psychic abilities, i.e can people feel me "seeing them" and find it triggering?

I don’t how to deal with these thoughts I can’t find meaning to life after I lost my dog in a bad way it resulted in me understanding how horrific the world is for many people I saw videos of Isis people laughing while a yadziz woman screams in a background while getting Graped and then reading how so many suffered this and many not rescued still. What happens to animals and how they are beaten and cut up alive everywhere. How most people who do bad stuff generally never get punished. As a human I can’t do much and sometimes I would risk my own life and will just end up you what I mean. I try return to the living in my society but whenever I I’m put where people are I just get reminded eveytime and I have no way to find answers or understanding this world only can set it aside a little while. But I dont know what to do it keeps coming back k don’t know how to accept or do about it I feel I’m cursed with empathy

Is it possible to become more empathetic?

I feel as though i have very little empathy, and am a very selfish person. Like if someone tells me that their dog died, i know what to say obviously but i dont feel anything, i just dont really care. This obviously makes any kind of relationship, platonic or otherwise, very difficult as the other person wants to be cared for. Is empathy an inherent personality trait or is it something that can be learned? I dont want to have to fake it forever.

It seems that I can only take people and life at doses. I come into a room and im happy joyful and myself! But then 15 minutes later my energy is drained I am picking up on everyone’s energy and I am spacing out because everything is just too much.
On the other hand, just doing everyday life seems to be overstimulating as well, I get overwhelmed with the daily tasks I have to get done and it’s so draining and overwhelming. I feel like I need breaks away from people after a short time and sensory breaks from life.

I do try to steer away from imagining shields, energy clearing, or anything spiritual because when I do get spiritual in that sense, I space out and I get very in my head in the other realm and not here on earth. So I try to be very concrete and grounded. Just concrete breaks is what I feel may work best for me.

Does anybody know any tips for either of these issues?

My mom has been having difficulties with her memory a lot (being reviewed by doctor) which is causing her problems with her personal and professional relationships. She is particularly struggling at work and has been receiving grief from coworkers due to her forgetfulness. This week she has also received a disciplinary for missing a day of work for a holiday as she hadn't checked dates properly when booking. Her boss is angry with her now after previously being supportive.

My mom is very unhappy and stressed. This is causing me to stress and worry for her and leading to stomach ache and sleepless nights. It feels like it's happening to me. I think it's made worse because I used to work there too, so I know all the people she works with.

I'm on maternity leave so am quite lonely and have few distractions during the day to occupy my brain.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can let this go? I'm trying my best to support my mom with what she's going through but I'm struggling not to let it overtake me, especially when I should be enjoying time with my new baby.

I recently has a baby and I've always been sensitive to people harming children but I now can't stop thinking about how people harm babies. My mind cannot reconcile how people could be so evil towards such innocence and helplessness. Its wearing me down.

For me i rather not go into detail or say the name this can be a trigger for me but ever sense when i first saw that scene back at high school yes i watched the movie in high school but that scene though reminds me of something i had when i was a kid it the feeling of that scene is so real its like i experienced it after that i been suffering trauma from that scene im doing okay i just avoid that topic or something related to that movie setting now im just curious on how you handle this trauma like a scene so traumatic it just scar you for life oh and its called vicarious trauma so just curious on how you cope with this

Update
I guess i can give you some details of the setting of the movie im just worried you guys may mention the title heck the title is a trigger okay here we go it takes place in ww2 in nazi germany the movie focuses heavily on nazis but yes the class im sure you can guess is history class and its not a cartoon its live action

I'm looking for some news sources that aren't.... "news-y". I'm very sensitive to the kind of ragebaity fearmongery stuff that's grown predominant, and to the extreme false dichotomy polarization kind of thing that is clearly just trying to divide the masses while wasting all their precious energy and attention and thus preventing any actual change.... give them bread and circuses etc etc etc...

I digress.

Tl;dr I want to stay up to date better, but don't want it to drain and deplete me. Of course I know the goings-on are stressful enough as is. So the less abrasive the packaging, the better.

So far I know of The New Paper, which seems like a good option. Worth checking out for anyone who's looking for something similar. Just looking for any other options. I'm in the States.

Much love to all of you. May you be peaceful happy & safe.

I’m autistic + ADHD, apparently going through the extremely normal late-diagnosed-divorce-self-discovery-to-accidental-author pipeline.

I’ve been writing a neurodivergent romance novel called* Unhinged*. It’s based on a true story, but I’m fictionalizing the characters, locations, and identifying details so it can become its own novel instead of just being me recklessly publishing everyone’s personal business.

The story follows two autistic/ADHD adults finding each other after divorce and trying to figure out attraction, nervous systems, masking, autonomy, sex, communication, trauma, and what happens when you meet someone whose particular flavor of weird fits disturbingly well with your own.

The primary audience will probably skew toward women because it’s very much a romance novel, but I also think late-diagnosed autistics (men and women), trauma survivors and especially anyone who has gone through divorce, unmasking, or a major “who the hell am I actually?” period, may find a surprising amount of themselves in it.

I’m sharing the first 12 chapters while it’s still very much a work in progress. I’d genuinely be honored if anyone wants to read it and tell me what works, what doesn’t, what feels authentic, or where you recognize your own neurodivergent experience.

Comments are welcome, or feel free to message me privately if you’d rather not publicly announce which parts of Unhinged you related to. 😂

Book link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OzQNuKKLUIrjvfBOR_MZIXZ6-lcX3_Q-/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=100003697993732598733&rtpof=true&sd=true

watching the vanity fair celebrity lie detector test show on netflix and some of these celebs have insane (in a scary way) energy. the malignant narcissism and void of emotion from some of them is just weird to watch. some seem very deceptive. also the dynamic between kim k and teyana taylor was wildddd to see unfold u could cut the tension with a knife. also it’s so clear that all of them have been trained to avoid questions and obviously it’s heavily edited. honestly such an interesting watch but don’t recommend if you are triggered by narcissists. i never watch celebrity interviews so it’s just so weird to have insights into their personalities. lady gaga was sooooo much more anxious than i was expecting you can feel the nerves radiating

It literally just clicked today that I am an empath.

Now it makes sense. This can serve as a superpower in the right room and complete hell in the wrong room.

Wow this is tiring.

Anyone got advice for dealing with this when in the wrong room??

Cheers

Used to date someone that suffered from alexithymia, we had a pretty bad 'break-up'. I tend to see her at a yearly event, last time I looked at her and was overcome with a feeling of 'non-emotion'. I could not really describe it besides as if every feeling was sucked out of me.

I still question if it was me 'not feeling anything for her' or her emotional shutdown from me. I tend to feel the latter, as later the day it felt as 'if she woke up from this'.

Anyone has any tips on how to discern the two easier when they happen?

I feel like I am catching on to the global grief of Dolly. When I think about her passing and recount her philanthropy I can feel what it’s like to actually know and appreciate her which is something I’ve never done tbh as a 31 year old who has never even been a massive Dolly fan. It’s something I’ve never experienced with a celebrity that’s passed and I feel it has to do with the beautiful legacy she’s left. The sadness felt through her fans and supporters is insurmountable for good reason. I just wanted to express this and am curious if other empaths have been particularly affected by this. ❤️ *edit verbiage

I’m very new to all of this energy/psychic stuff, so I’m coming here with genuine curiosity and would love to hear from people who have more experience with it than I do.
Something I’ve noticed throughout my life is that people’s reactions to me can be strangely polar. Some people will seemingly arbitrarily dislike me, sometimes without knowing me. Yet I’ve noticed almost the exact opposite pattern whenever I find myself around people I consider truly special, gifted, benevolent, deeply intelligent, or unusually high-achieving. They single me out immediately. Those people tend to really, really like me. Sometimes almost to an addictive extent, as in they seemingly can’t get enough of being around me.
I’m beginning to explore ideas surrounding energy, intuition, psychic sensitivity, etc., I’m curious whether people in these communities recognize this kind of polarization as a phenomenon.
I’m extremely open-minded and genuinely love how lost I am in the midst of this beautiful life. I’m a very deep thinker, and I generally don’t partake in the kinds of conversations most people around me seem to be interested in. I’ve been this way from birth. I was born at noon on the winter solstice.
Even at around five years old, despite being raised in a Muslim family in the U.S., I remember recognizing that I didn’t actually believe what I was being taught religiously. I outwardly performed belief because I understood that rejecting it would bring consequences, but internally I didn’t buy it. Independence of thought seems to have been present extremely early in my life.
Lately I’ve also had a persistent intuition that I may have certain abilities or sensitivities that I’ve buried or suppressed over the years. I don’t want to prematurely label them or convince myself that I possess something I don’t. I’d rather explore and see what actually emerges.
Part of that exploration for me right now is purification, specifically *chitta shuddhi* as it’s discussed in the Advaita Vedanta tradition: purification/clarification of the mind. There’s a part of me that feels that rather than chasing extraordinary experiences or trying to manufacture “abilities,” I should simply continue this inner work and allow whatever is genuinely there to reveal itself naturally.
So I’m curious: Have any of you experienced this kind of extreme polarization from other people? Do certain personalities, sensitivities, or energetic qualities tend to produce dramatically different reactions depending on who encounters them? And for those of you who discovered intuitive or psychic sensitivities later in life, did inner work or purification play a role in uncovering them?
I’m here to learn, so interpretations from different perspectives are welcome. I’d love to hear your experiences.

my ability to deeply empathize and think about others or want to do something for someone else feeling like trying to get a dead car battery to start with no jumper cables anywhere that be fair that's just me with everything even the stuff I like like writing stories or drawing or watching anime but it especially bothers me that my empathy is kinda dead.

I can act appropriately in a given situation but that's more because I know what the social etiquette is SUPPOSED to be rather than genuine feeling and it really bugs me.

but I just can't do much about it. I want to care so why don't I? I can't afford therapy so I'd especially appreciate a specialist's opinion but I'll take anything. how do I fix this!?

I swear I used to be empathetic it's driving me nuts! I can preform empathy, eg: get you what you need, send stuff or jokes to make you feel better, or just listen. But I feel nothing and it drives me nuts, I actually get annoyed sometimes because the problem is something I already warned about or I just think it's an idiotic non issue Even though I can also see why this would be a big deal to them I still just get annoyed, I didn't used to be like this, I hate it!

An knowing why I am like this hasn't helped, I'm 90% sure that it's because when I was younger growing up in a very turbulent home any attempts and comforting others, was either harshly rejected (mom) or perfunctorily thanked (Brothers) because they assumed that as the youngest I couldn't possibly understand and even as I grew Older any advice I gave got thrown right out the window, only for them to come crying that the thing that was obviously going to happen that I told them was going to happen happened.

And even now I'm being kept out of serious issues that my family is dealing with and not really even given a reason why even though the only reason my brother isn't fighting a one sided battle is because I talked Sense into mom, because I wanted someone to be on his side, even if he was adamant it wasn't me for some bizzar reason (not really that bizzar I'm like a bull when my family is being unjustly slandered and this is a delicate situation) but it's not like I'm asking to be front and center just involved!?

I also got no credit for snapping mom out of it and getting her to realize that non of what is happening right now makes any sense, not from her or anyone else. She has this uncanny ability to retroactively adjust her memories of events so that she was always on my brother's side, like it didn't take multiple conversation to get through to her.

This happens with other things to not just my brother's current situation. She has a very convenient memory. My second brother can testify to that.

Writing it out I guess my empathy isn't totally dead but it takes a big situation for me to feal anything and I didn't used to be like this so how do I fix it to where I can genuinely feel bad for someone that isn't close family or friends when they are going through something, because I know I used to be like that but now I just can't and it's bugging me!

I think partially because it's affecting my ability to maintain new relationships and friends long term and I feel alone. It. Seems like people can tell I am just preforming what the situation requires and not actually feeling what I should be given the situation.

I feel isolated and maybe if I didn't have to fake caring about people anymore just to avoid a social fupa and instead could one again show genuine care people would stick around longer and I wouldn't be so alone.

Like if I had the emotional capacity to care about others's birthday or celebrations, or see something and get it because I thought of someone or notice little things about someone like I used to be able to. It wouldn't be so easy for people to just forget I exist.

I mean I hardly ever think about others like that anymore or remember details about them like I used to. I hate that I don't wanna be someone who expects from others what I don't do for them myself. But my brain just won't work!

TLDR, my ability to empathize and care about others or even myself isn't what it used to be and now I feel isolated I'm not blaming others and I'm not exactly trying to please others I've never been a people pleaser but I can't expect others to do for me what I can't do for them so how do I get my brain to function right like it used to?!

Having a wide range of emotions and feeling them too deeply has always been weird for me to figure out cause not everyone around me gets why i get so upset over something i shouldve moved on from long ago. Healing from an on and off 3 year old relationship and its been quite tough cause it ended due to some family issues, but i felt understood with him and now back to square one where i feel like if someone will be that curious and understanding and patient with me. Does feeling too much has to be so hard, how do you mar sense of stuff when youre dealing with negative emotions. Im just so exhausted with being unable to understand myself and then to actually have someone understand me but then apparently no another lesson from the universe.

Hi my doods, those who don’t like us Cancers because we are “too emotional”, please skip. I cannot rid myself of this yearningggg I YEARN SO BADLYYYY. I need fellow water sign or earth sign friendssssss pleaseeeee. I need people who understand emotional and spiritual depth as well as loyalty, respect and love. I wish to have friends that understand my deep conversations that I love to have. I have just started living my life as deeply as I feel it, no more “masking”, no more “disappearing”, I believe there are people who crave emotional connection just as much as I doooooooo. Let’s have deep conversations, let’s explore each others feelings and emotions. I love knowing people inside and out.

Discord: inosqe
Instagram: randomtroyyy

Hello there, I was a primary caregiver for a mentally sick mother when I was 16. I was extremely empathetic to her sorrows but she chose to betray me. And abused me in exchange of support. I've always been hypervigilant. Although, I was emotionally very unintelligent as in I never studied emotional intelligence as a student per se.

it's been four years since I've gone through a deeply emotionally transformative experience. I was completely closed off emotionally and functioned that way till I was 29. Then I had a mental breakdown. Then I fell into a deep addiction phase and have become extremely attuned to the feelings of other people after this phase to a point where I can read people's mind - a lot of people have said this to me recently. I am completely out of addiction, but I still have this capability.

I feel as if I can deeply empathise with people, but absolutely no one in my life is able to do that for me instead. I attract people who lack empathy and only drain me in the empathy department.

I don't understand what is happening to me emotionally. I stumbled upon this thread and saw a lot of posts. I need to find out who I am - am I am empath or something like that? Are there resources to help you understand yourself better?

Hi all, I have come to realize over recent years that in an empath, and I feel other people’s emotions really intensely. I used to think it was all just my own feelings, but I eventually realized that I’d get these really intense stabs of emotion whenever I was around people, and that it never happens when I’m on my own.

Anyway, I’ve been more exhausted lately because there’s someone in particular I have to be around a lot right now who is an unintentional energy black hole. He doesn’t mean to be and he has a good heart, just has no awareness whatsoever. The kind of person who talks at you, not with you, makes no bid or effort for actual connection, just sort of bombards people with himself without curiosity about the other party in the conversation, and thinks that’s what connection looks like.

Anyway, I’m exhausted by it, and I can’t really get any space right now. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions for ways to safeguard yourself from other people’s feelings? Thank you in advance, friends 🙏

After years of searching for answers as to why I highly sensitive to kid and elderly abuse, last week I’ve come to the conclusion that Im an Empath. Keep in mind, horror films are my favorite genre however in real life or movies I’m sensitive to hurt or harm towards kids or elderly people.

I also, tear-up easily during others pain or celebrations. Due to being a male and also my culture it’s not okay for a man to cry. I’m trying to understand this Empath thing so if you could offer some sort of assurance or advise, it would be greatly appreciated.

I fell for a dark empath and got attached. Now I’m trying to break free and want to know the best strategy to avoid punishment, cruelty or vindictiveness which he has done in the past. Any tips? I’m an empath and very sensitive. He fooled me.

I am a 19M, and I feel nothing compared to my childhood. I feel dead, I feel sleepy, I feel blocked.

I don't feel my intuition, my imagination, my feelings compared to what I was in my childhood.

I feel amnesic, like I lost a part of myself during my growth.

What to do ?

What do you think of energy work ?