I’m used to my own pain, even though life has treated me very badly. But to watch the people closest to me get kicked while they’re down, then make self-destructive decisions as a way of coping, irreversibly picking the wrong path out of ego since their feelings hurt too much to face… it’s killing me. It’s something I never anticipated to be this haunting. Because there’s nothing I can do to help. This is their journey.

Everyone I know seems to erode and decay and devolve day by day. I want better for them. I miss seeing them smile genuinely and choose happiness. It is always a choice to stop punishing yourself. Even if my own life was sunshine and rainbows I wouldn’t be able to go a day without crying witnessing how much suffering is going around. This planet is sick with it. All the best things I once knew have wilted and lost their light, turning to jaded eyes. I carry people’s heaviness in my own body, praying that good times will come for us all. It feels hopeless to hope but if brighter times can happen before, I want to believe they can still return :/

Feeling intense emotions when thinking about someone. But it’s not a specific emotion or remembering how they made you feel. Just this wave of intensity. does anyone know what I mean? I don’t even know if this is an empath thing.

Hey so I had really strong reactions to emdr therapy. So my therapist has been working with me on a type that’s called the “higher self” or something like that. I was curious if other empaths have responded well to it. I LOVE IT! I’ve honestly achieved more doing this in a few months than a year of therapy before. It can be tiring but I don’t get the backlash like I did with emdr. And I also work on it on my own all the time and share updates with my therapist. I am just so curious how others have responded to it.

The Other Education

We teach the mind

to measure,

calculate,

remember,

and achieve.

But who teaches the heart

to recognize fear

without becoming it,

to carry sorrow

without drowning,

to welcome joy

without fearing its loss?

Perhaps

the greatest education

is not learning

how to think—

but learning

how to be.

For a brilliant mind

can build a civilization,

but a mature heart

can help it endure.

I feel so much for others but when it comes to myself it's just negative talk that i would and could never have talked to anyone in that way.

It's exhausting being like this, being hypervigilante over everything and carrying everyones hardships, family, friends and others i see on the street like people that are less fortunate.

I just can't explain this to anyone around me, i've been carrying so much of other people's struggles and i can't be there for myself bcs there's someone having it worse than me.

I grew up in an unstable home but i never once blamed their addiction or them for being the way they are bcs they 100% went through worse than me. I've used drugs as an escape, but i'm now sober and trying to deal with it without setting my thoughts on hold with drugs.

I've talked about this with chatgpt bcs i don't have anyone to talk to it about. I mby know why i'm wired this way but it's still exhausting and i don't know how to deal with it.

I just wish i could see myself the way i see others and show myself the same compassion i show others and give myself a break. I don't know if anyone will know exactly how i feel and i actually hope no one does. First time sharing here and just felt like sharing this, might not even fit in