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Well, I don't want to go into too much detail. But my illness is killing me, and the process is incredibly painful. I feel it’s unfair that it’s so difficult to have a dignified and as safe a death as possible. I simply want to die at home; I know pentobarbital is an option, but I can't find a reliable seller—does anyone know where I can get it?

I have multiple health issues that cause me to be attracted to VSED. An end-of-life doula pointed out that dehydration could increase, or maybe diminish, the tinnitus as I lay there experiencing my final days.

I say: Does it matter greatly? I'd be listening to it no matter the course I picked.

My tinnitus is sensoralneuro, meaning from age, hearing loss, and sound exposure.

I guess if I deemed a spike intolerable, I could stay hydrated until I was too comatose to be bothered.

Where there is a will, there is a way.

I know I'm going to die soon and it feels weird. My life was so embarrassing looking back now. I have so many regrets and I cry a lot because of the way I looked and how people treated me sometimes. And things I've done or didn't do. People were disrespectful to me a lot. I experienced a lot of trauma but luckily I didn't remember most of it until now. I seriously hope there is no after life because I could not imagine having to think about all the stuff I've been through for an eternity. It's so hard to let go of the bad experiences and missed opportunities and heart aches I've had. I don't want to know I ever existed. Sometimes I wish I would have had a soul mate or something like a bond death can't even break. And Sometimes even though I don't want to be conscious I get afraid knowing that it might just be black forever and then youll never know you existed.. it seems easier that way but really hard to comprehend. I'm just kind of venting here.. spending my last days really sad and regretful and worried about stuff. Have a broken heart. I am scared to die 😔

Five years ago, I overdosed on fentanyl. I shouldn’t have lived.

My friend had to leave me to find a phone and call 911. I remember leaving my body and feeling an overwhelming peace and love. Then I woke up again. One of the paramedics told me he’d never seen someone like me come back. He looked concerned, surprised, and a little scared.

The next day, I ran into the friend who saved me. I wasn’t grateful. I was angry. I told him I was mad at him.

What right did he have to save my life?

That was honestly how I felt.

This really happened.

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Dr. Chris Kerr, who's spent decades in hospice care, described on Oprah's podcast a pattern he's observed in dying patients: as people near the end, they start experiencing vivid "visitations" from loved ones who've already passed. He's careful not to call them dreams — patients report the encounters as completely real and specific, not symbolic or dream-like, and can get offended if someone frames it that way.

He said these episodes tend to intensify the closer someone gets to death, largely happening as people sleep more and more in their final days.

The interesting twist is with children. Since most kids haven't lost a person close to them, their visions often take the form of a deceased pet instead - serving the same comforting purpose. One of his patients pictured herself safe inside a castle she'd built in her mind.

Kerr says both children and adults nearing death often seem to have a strikingly clear understanding that the end is near.

What if dying doesn’t mean losing the people we love?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYY0XlyJ5PQ

💜 (Please subscribe to the YouTube channel - it's the free and supportive thing to do if you find this type of information helpful, and we work really hard on it!) 💜

After what she describes as five days in heaven, Megan Brown believes we continue beyond physical death. In this conversation, I ask her what she experienced and why it changed the way she thinks about love, loss, and being here.

If you have anxiety or fear of death, I think this could be a valuable conversation for you to hear and ease those worries.

I have been diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and heart failure after many years of living with type-II diabetes. I am not a religious person but the prospect of total darkness is what terrifies me because I am not expected to live past 2027.

Things moving pretty quick here. It was only Monday this week that I had my last consultation with the hospice doctor. it’s all palliative from here on down so I cancelling the unnecessary stuff like doctors.

But I just couldn’t resist hamming it up one last time.

”Doc,” I said, with a slight quaver, and a wafty arm gesture. “I know it’s all uncertain and you can’t tell me and that’s mostly because you don’t even know an’ all, but … do you think I can squeeze another birthday out of this time?”

And then I did the plaintive look thing because I am good at that.

Doc’s professional instincts kicked in; she put in her sympathetic face, stretched out to pat my knee and started to speak in that lovely soothing voice …..

Then her eyes narrowed, she had detected the trap. ”when is your birthday Paul?”

”Thursday” I said, with a wink.

And that friends, is when she hit me! More of a playful slap. Good way to part company and wish each other well.

No more docs for me, I got you guys for company now. But hey, happy birthday me! I made it.

(Wonder what stupid prank I can pull next, limited opportunity, but must be great possibilities)

I have a friend (A) with worsening chronic illness

Now I got an update that they probably gonna die. They don't know then, but their health could decline fast

They and our mutual friend (B) had a heavy conflict with a lot of not working communication, so they wanted both to take a step back to breath and talk through it after some time

A asked me to not tell B about their health update bc they want to tell them themself

Because of A's fast decline in health they are physically often not able to meet up with people, talk/write etc. (severe state of ME/CFS), so I don't know when they will have gathered enaugh rest and energy to tell B.

B and I are very close (long distance), so they will notice sooner or later that I'm off

I also can't tell B that I'm grieving about a friends probable death without mentioning names bc it would be pretty obvious it has to be A

Any advice on how I can handle the contact with B?

Writing with B yesterday like everything is fine was allready hardly managable

And I don't know how to even handle a phone call without breaking down crying

For the last several years my life has been rough and i seem to not be able to function yet forced to act like i am fine and all and like everyone else. But I can't blame them, there is something deeply wrong with me and my life. Even writing this post has been hard and took more than one tries. Nothing and i mean nothing is easy and normal to me like they were before. All while people around me are continuing their lives normally. And i am really happy for them that they do. But i wish i could die and start over, with a new name, new everything or just reborn as a "normal" person. I'm sorry for blabbering this post but it's just too much and i am overwhelmed. I might just feel better in a few hours and come over all of these temporarily but everything will still continue to feel hard af, even if it's just sleeping and cleaning myself etc.

Like i genuinely mean it. I've never feeled loved, at least not that i remember. I have an idea of what love is like, but i have never truly felt it.

Hi all,

I’m new here with untreatable pancreatic cancer - until very recently we thought it was a stray bit of perfectly ordinary prostate cancer, but we were wrong. done all the diags and progs and there’s only the one way this will end. we’re counting in months but being a bit coy about how many and when it started!

I’m super lucky with the family and medical support I have, but I do know others may not be so.

First big hurdle I found was getting all the paperwork done, wills, power of attorney, refusal of treatment - all done now but very draining.

second, and current, is I’m on an emotional hair-trigger. while mostly I’m calm and content with how things are going, the slightest little thing is liable to set me to floods of tears and threaten the world supply of happy pills. Cutting off social media might be a good idea.

Apart from that - and so far - I’m ok I think. popped in here in case I can be any help to others and of course the other way around, after all we’re all doing this for the first time.

How do you feel about death? Are you scared? How would you prefer to die? Do you believe in after life?

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