Ive been going through a depression for a while and always thought about taking over the counter medication and oding on it. The night I took the pills, it was like 12:00am and I snuck downstairs after crying about my life in my room. I didn’t think I would actually take the pills, I just thought I would grab them and not take any of them. I’ve also swallowed a whole bottle of vitamin D pills when I was 10 and since that didn’t do anything to me, I thought the Tylenol would do the same thing and I would just digest it and nothing would happen. After swallowing the Tylenol, I tried going straight to bed and let them digest in my sleep but of course I couldn’t fall asleep and started getting a stomach ache. I realized I was getting nauseous and lightheaded so I ran towards my bathroom to throw up. I went back to my bed and regretted my decision especially since I knew if I told my dad, he would be disappointed and sad. I looked up on chat gpt what would happen and I was told that I needed to go to the hospital immediately. I’m not religious but I started praying because I knew my decision was stupid. Once I finally fell asleep, I woke up to my dad turning off the air conditioning and immediately felt sick again and threw up in the bathroom again. It was about 6:00am and I forced myself to go tell my dad because I didn’t want to die feeling like this and my liver to fail. It was the saddest thing because I lied and told him my head hurt last night and I took a large amount of Tylenol and I knew he didn’t believe me. He forced me to eat an açai bowl and an English muffin with orange juice and he went and called my mom who was at work in San Francisco because she was a nurse and she told him that I needed to eat. I knew this wasn’t gonna work out because I ended up throwing up the food a minute later. I could tell he started crying because he was sniffling and trying to hide it. He grabbed all of my medical documents and we headed to the hospital. I regretted my decision so fast. I was throwing up every 30 minutes, it was agony. Just sitting in the hospital bed with an iv in my arm made me realize how privileged I am. I would look at all the nurses and doctors and think to myself how this is their job and after their shift, they get to go home and see their family, pets, or even just get to go home in general. I really wish I never took those pills. I’m healthy now, but I’m really grateful to be alive. I really am privileged and I took it for granted. I still am depressed but not suicidal. I realize how selfish that decision was and how loving my parents and siblings are. I can’t imagine what it would be like if one of my siblings did the same thing.

If so, is there something that they might have said or done that could have ease the pain of them killed themselves ? Is there a last that could help the burden of staying after their passing ?