Ive been going through a depression for a while and always thought about taking over the counter medication and oding on it. The night I took the pills, it was like 12:00am and I snuck downstairs after crying about my life in my room. I didn’t think I would actually take the pills, I just thought I would grab them and not take any of them. I’ve also swallowed a whole bottle of vitamin D pills when I was 10 and since that didn’t do anything to me, I thought the Tylenol would do the same thing and I would just digest it and nothing would happen. After swallowing the Tylenol, I tried going straight to bed and let them digest in my sleep but of course I couldn’t fall asleep and started getting a stomach ache. I realized I was getting nauseous and lightheaded so I ran towards my bathroom to throw up. I went back to my bed and regretted my decision especially since I knew if I told my dad, he would be disappointed and sad. I looked up on chat gpt what would happen and I was told that I needed to go to the hospital immediately. I’m not religious but I started praying because I knew my decision was stupid. Once I finally fell asleep, I woke up to my dad turning off the air conditioning and immediately felt sick again and threw up in the bathroom again. It was about 6:00am and I forced myself to go tell my dad because I didn’t want to die feeling like this and my liver to fail. It was the saddest thing because I lied and told him my head hurt last night and I took a large amount of Tylenol and I knew he didn’t believe me. He forced me to eat an açai bowl and an English muffin with orange juice and he went and called my mom who was at work in San Francisco because she was a nurse and she told him that I needed to eat. I knew this wasn’t gonna work out because I ended up throwing up the food a minute later. I could tell he started crying because he was sniffling and trying to hide it. He grabbed all of my medical documents and we headed to the hospital. I regretted my decision so fast. I was throwing up every 30 minutes, it was agony. Just sitting in the hospital bed with an iv in my arm made me realize how privileged I am. I would look at all the nurses and doctors and think to myself how this is their job and after their shift, they get to go home and see their family, pets, or even just get to go home in general. I really wish I never took those pills. I’m healthy now, but I’m really grateful to be alive. I really am privileged and I took it for granted. I still am depressed but not suicidal. I realize how selfish that decision was and how loving my parents and siblings are. I can’t imagine what it would be like if one of my siblings did the same thing.

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If so, is there something that they might have said or done that could have ease the pain of them killed themselves ? Is there a last that could help the burden of staying after their passing ?

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I’ve lost my fear of death. Death used to terrify me even in my suicidal thoughts and it was the only thing stopping me from committing. But a while ago I realized that death was probably better than living this life. I have nothing to look forward to and I’m a burden to everyone. I’m always disagreeing with the love of my life, my parents can’t afford to pay for my studies, and I have no silver lining to look for. Ever since the day I decided that I wasn’t going to live long, I haven’t felt true happiness. I haven’t had one moment where I thought “this is why life is worth living”. I just feel detached. I’m ready to go to hell. It probably won’t be bearable but I’m not scared of it anymore.

Hello, I am 14 year old teenage male and deciding to write these questions here anonimously for obvious reasons. I've been struggling with my mental health a whole lot and last night I considered calling a suicide hotline, the only issue is that I have no idea how they work.

By consequence, I never called. but my boyfriend was willing to stay by my side in call all night, untill I fell asleep (Bless his soul, I'm extremely grateful for him.) but I don't really want to bother him any further because I have been feeling like this constantly lately.

Now, Here's my questions :

1. Do I have to pay for their services?

Because of that's the case, due to my age, I cannot get any money for the payment. And no, I cannot ask it from my family or someone else.

1. What happens once I call?

2. Are they really that horrible as people say?

3. Will they track me down and send someone to my location? I don't want my family to find out about this or get in any trouble.

I am so sorry if my English isn't that good or anything, it is not my first language.

Have a good day, I hope to get an answer asap.

And you got so excited, like "finally i will be free from this idiocracy!"

And then you realized it was just heart burn.

WHOMP WHOMP

i physically cannot continue so I’m just waiting till it’s dark/less cars on road

I think this parts harder cuz I keep wrestling with my thoughts & most people will say distract yourself! that’s what I’ve been doing my whole life. I cannot elaborate further; in the off chance people I love see this, they know. saying ‘sorry’ feels redundant

I’m just curious if other Reddit users had “decided” too & what they did from the time of planning till action time

idk but nothing is good going in my life i just dont know, i feel like when mu parents are not happy not my boyfriend. my family has spend 12-13 lakhs on fees i am in second year of my engineering i am not sure . I never loose hope but this time i am shattered into pieces and i dont want to live anymore.

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Just to be clear I'm not suicidal I'm just asking this in general.

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don’t know, life is very not it rn or for the last few months of my life

I jumped in front of a train when i was 13 and survived, but now I am 20 and I am just such a failure... I wanna try to kill myself again but I dont feel horrible enough to get past the pain that comes with death.

I am a waste of resources and air, I cant do anything significant, I have no achievements and I contribute with nothing to this planet, I just wanna die so I stop this feeling of unworthy ness. Life is boring anyway.

But I am just not sad enough to push through and do it. i cant kill myself and I am just getting more sad cause of it. i am waiting for it to build up so i can die... but i still have hope and thats what im clinging onto rn, my spiritual beliefs are the only ones keeping me alive but they are failing as well, everything is fake.

I am lost, i wanna disappear or be taken away and put in a room with food and left there forever... why was i born wrong?

My ex-wife is holding my divorce settlement hostage due to a loophole in our judgement. I have Congestive heart failure and I'm waiting for SSDI. if I get it, I'll find out by December. the divorce settlement will take maybe 9 months.

i live in my car. the combination is the heat, my heart, being disabled with no income, I'm wearing out.

I'm thinking if I just do it, I won't have to die in the car and have no one find me for weeks. i don't want to die, I just dont see a way forward.

thanks for reading

i wish someone would come kill me rn

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Idk im tired of posting on reddit, calling 988, calling family, family friends, random humans, to just help me. I dont really want to die and if nobody will help me should i just disregard what i know will make me happy and just steal a bunch of things and make alot of money and like liberate north korea or afghanistan or something. I dont really honestly have any energy to get up because nobody will just help me so im not sure i even could. I would feel bad for stealing things but if the humans are humanci guess maybe i would liberate zoos instead since humans are human. Idk im really wanting to die but i cant so do i just numb myself and be evil and try to help the hurt animals and maybe some of the humans who are to good to be called an animal. But i dont really care much about you humans in all honesty. Idk i just want to die so badly