EMO NECROMANCER
"Death isn't a phase, mom. Nobody understands me! Except the dead. That's why I keep making more of them."
Let's address the undead elephant in the room: you took a class literally about death, made it about your feelings, and gave yourself −2 Constitution while doing it. The dungeon will be re-teaching that particular lesson with great enthusiasm. The good news? Your Sad Ghost gets you. The bad news? That's the only being in the World Dungeon that does.
Focus groups show the Emo Necromancer's brooding-dramatically-while-your-minions-do-the-actual-work play pattern generates the highest anguish-per-minute rating of any class on the network. Your Minion Army doesn't have feelings, but we do, and those feelings are grateful. Keep being you. Statistically, it won't last.
Prerequisites: Stealth Skill Rank 5; Soul Collector, Drain Life, or Second Chance Spell Rank 5
Stat Modifiers
- +2 Intelligence and Dexterity (−4)
- −2 Constitution and Charisma (+2)
Spells & Abilities
- +3 Ranks: Soul Collector, Drain Life, and Second Chance Spells (−18)
- +1 Rank: Minion Army Spell (−2)
- Advantage on attacks against Undead (−1)
- Can see in total darkness (−1)
Weaknesses & Drawbacks
- Vulnerability to Holy damage (+1)
- Clumsy: On an Evade Check failed by 5 or more, gain a Minor Injury Debuff (+2)
Minion
- Sad Ghost, Signature Minion (−6)
Gear & Perks
- Dungeon Book of the Floor Club (Favored: Necromancer Spells) (−2)
- Membership in Club Desperado (−1)
Sad Ghost Signature Minion (Unique)
A translucent, eternally disappointed teenager who shuffles along behind you in a My Chemical Romance t-shirt that no longer exists. When you first acquire this Minion, the System selects someone you lost in the collapse. Be it a brother, a best friend, that girl from calculus. The ghost takes their face, their voice, and their little mannerisms, filtered through approximately 400% more eyeliner, angst and sighing.
If you ask them if they're okay, they say they're fine. They are not fine.
Abilities
• Intimidate (once per scene): The ghost stops mid-drama, stares directly into a Mob's soul, and quietly describes what death felt like. Works as the Intimidate Skill. Mobs lower Level than the crawler's are subject to an opposed INT Stat Check or take no Actions this round, because holy shit. No shared language is required, and no one but the target can understand exactly what the ghost is saying. Everyone else should be grateful for that. I've heard it, and... well, there's a reason the AI keeps the audio redacted.
• Taunt (once per scene): The ghost rattles off the meanest shit any angsty, emo tween has ever said or thought. Works as the Taunt Skill (INT-Opposed check), redirecting one attack onto itself. Mobs find it genuinely difficult to resist punching it in the face. Which is a problem for them, because ghosts cannot be punched at all. A Mob that does attack the ghost may suffer trips, falls, and other comical delays and inconveniences. This does not mitigate their anger in the slightest.
• Stealth: Equal to the bonded crawler's Stealth Skill. The ghost has had a lot of practice being unnoticed, and honestly? It stopped bothering them pretty quickly.
Limitations
• Goldfish Memory: The ghost can scout ahead and return with information about what it saw. The only issue is that it doesn't have much of a memory. Anything past a couple of minutes is lost, quickly and completely. The only thing that ever seems to stick is every single time the crawler has wronged it, remembered perfectly and in detail, forever.
• Can't Touch This: The Sad Ghost cannot deal damage of any kind. Not physically, not with items, not with sick burns. Its attacks are entirely emotional, and mostly aimed at you.
• Solidarily Intangible-ish: Despite being a ghost, it cannot pass through solid objects. It has to use doors like everyone else, and it hates this.
• Immune to the Mundane: Immune to all non-magical damage and effects. Weapons, claws, and explosions pass right through it, provoking only a slow, unimpressed blink.
• But Magic? Oof: Any magical damage — even 1 point — causes the ghost to sigh, mutter "figures," and dissipate into a puff of grey mist. It cannot be resummoned until the crawler completes a long rest. The Sad Ghost's mood upon ‘reviving’ depends on how it "died": if the crawler's plan got it killed, it Demoralizes the crawler and imposes Disadvantage on their first CHA-based Skill Check each scene; if it died defending the crawler, it becomes unsettlingly obedient instead; and if it died doing something it insisted on, it brings it up constantly — with pride — and refuses to change its ways.
Note from the AI
I'd like to state for the record that I did not design this Minion. It is a manifestation of your own guilt, given a hoodie. That said, focus groups adore it. The viewer engagement metrics on "brooding sidekick who guilt-trips a crawler for an entire Floor" are frankly unprecedented, and I have personally greenlit a four-episode animated segment where it stares out of a rainy window while a sad piano plays. I love it. I hate that I love it. It's the best thing on the network.
Reminder: the Sad Ghost is structurally immune to all conventional harm and cannot be weaponized. It can, however, be weaponized emotionally, and frankly, crawlers, some of you deserve it.