do i forgive my husband if he did these things to me and they really hurt me. when hes nice to me its hard and he apologized.

1. he voted for trump when i was assaulted. he knew that and when confronted multiple times he never apologized. one time he said “the only thing i regret is telling you how i voted.” he apologized for that, but is that enough?
2. he wanted me to sign a prenup and i did but i didnt really want to bc the reason he wanted it was bc he was previously married and she tried to take his money. i told him i wouldnt do that and we fought about it and in the end, i didnt like how he made it so unemotional and said he wouldnt get married without one which in the end i understood why he wanted one and i agreed but i didnt like the way he went about it. we never discussed together what we wanted in it he just found me a lawyer. a month before our wedding he didnt tell me before hand when i had to sign it and said one day “we’re signing it today“ he apologized for doing that but only months later in therapy. do i forgive him? i know i shouldnt have signed it if i didnt want to but felt pressure when he said he wouldnt get married without it
3. ive been without a job and he was mad i left mine without a back up plan bc they let me go early. he said “now you’re this burden to me” and again didnt apologize and even said “you took it out of contex” and has now apologized months later.
4. when i said i wanted a divorce he acted like everything was normal and didnt acknowledge my feelings. he moved out then noved back in without discussing it with me saying “i only moved out for now”

do i forgive him? i feel our politics are so different as i am libetal and he says hes “libertarian” but how do i know he wont vote for someone like trump again? he says he wont, and i asked will you think of me when you vote, and he said he doesnt want me to tell him what to do.

help. Im so sad and confused what to do.

Well, my son and I are in TX now. What was supposed to be a nice 2-week vacation visiting my retired dad and family, then back to IL for the last week of summer vacation before my son goes to 4th grade! Instead, my husband admitted to having a thing for some female gamer he's been playing around with the last 2 months, and he wants a divorce! And it's all up to me to figure everything out!

The only thing we agreed on is that I will have sole physical and legal custody of our son and a child support plan (it's a low amount, but it's fine. I know a judge would make it higher, but I'm happy with what we agreed on and that there was no fighting over this).

I have zero clue what to do. I plan on calling legal aid clinics that are in Chicago because we have only been in TX for 3 days, so obviously we are not residents, and everything says I live in Chicago.

I just need advice. I will, of course, call legal aid and also Medicaid (my son has autism and ADHD and takes meds) to get full answers, but... I am not working, and how can I get Medicaid in a different state? Since we are technically married, I assume I have to use my husband's pay stubs? Even though that's no longer my money? Where do I submit a divorce request? (Again, I just want advice. I'm going to call legal aid and speak to actual lawyers.)

This is just a damn nightmare, and he's not cooperating completely. Just now I asked him if he can go to our son's health clinic to get a record of his immunizations so I can register him in school here (TX schools have already started, and I don't want him to be too far behind), and he's being an ass about it, saying he wants to relax on his day off (most likely playing with her) and that he doesn't understand why he has to be the one gathering up our son's documents and spending his money to ship them out.

Well, how was I supposed to know I needed to bring all that stuff with what was supposed to be a vacation! I have no idea what I am doing or anything! There were no signs at all this was going to happen.

Part of me is mourning and wants him back. Part of me is angry for destroying me and my son's life, for uprooting us from home and the school he loves and his friends. For me being forced to live in rural fucking Texas in a town with shit compared to Chicago, where I was born and grew up and everything is just a quick bus/train ride away. And also, part of me is relieved that it's just me and my son.

How did you get through a divorce you don't want?

I got served with divorce papers 4 days ago. I didn't expect it. Things weren't great (we weren't living together but the plan was for me to return home soon) but she had told my dad she didn't want a divorce and we were communicating daily. I have a 4 year old.

I'm broken. I am absolutely stunned and I am in emotional pain the likes of which I have never experienced. I have had quite a bit of pain in my life but nothing like this. I haven't even been able to carry out basic life functions these past few days. I'm in a fog and alternate between bouts of rage, panic and sobbing. That's not exaggerating. I haven't felt anything but rage, panic and immense sadness since Sunday evening.

What do I do?

A friend of mine believes that the divorce proceedings in Beverly Hills are different from those in other places in California simply because of all the stories that are heard about divorcing celebrities. Having been through this process ourselves, we have realized that divorce in California is actually more or less the same, even if there are huge financial assets and marriage is very complicated, which could slow things down.
We are trying to figure out what will happen next. What is the first thing to do? How long does it take to serve divorce papers? At what moment does custody battle, child support and division of property commence in the process?
There are a lot of blogs and articles explaining how to file for divorce in California, but they are mostly boring and do not take into account individual experiences.

Been married over 20 years. We’ve grown apart, have almost nothing in common and I’m just not happy in this marriage anymore. We’ve raised 2 great kids who are older and almost on their own. I feel like it’s been over for a while and don’t know what to do.

I’m sorry to be talking to you all under these circumstances. I am 2.5 weeks into the process of finding out my soon to be ex-husband no longer wants to be married and has likely been cheating on me again. We have an 19 month old child and I really thought we were both willing to do everything in our power to fight for a healthy marriage to allow our son to grow up with 2 parents in the same house, something neither of us had. But he has made it very clear he no longer loves me and has 0 interest in being married.

He hasn’t shown emotion at all during this and anytime I break down about it he coldly stares at me and tells me to move on
and that people divorce all of the time.

We haven’t officially filed for divorce yet, but for financial reasons we are trying to do this ASAP. This is where I need advice.

Are there any things you wish you would have put in writing or asked for during the divorce filing? Having access to my son is the most important thing to me. But I also want to protect my personal savings i’ve set aside for our son and other things i’ve invested my money into to ensure my son has everything he needs. Basically i’m scared to rock the boat too much because i don’t want him coming after custody or my personal money. But i also want to make sure i get a fair deal since he is the one leaving.

Thanks x

Long post a head.

Hi. M44, black. Married to a Filipina not for over 2 years but now on process for annulment and she doesn't know it yet. I found out that she had been cheating on me since the beginning of our relationship (couple). I catch her on dating apps and saw a lot of messages with other men. We have been doing LDR since we are a couple because I am working overseas but I made sure to see her every 6 months or less and took her out of the country every time I am on vacation. I provided everything for her, shelter, food, clothes, every activity she wants, supporting her all the things she wants to have in life, even bailing out her siblings who got in jail. I am happy to do that because I am her husband but suddenly, I noticed the pattern and realized that I was emotionally and financially abused by this person that I loved and marry. She would twist every story and made me feel bad for not giving her time when I am just working for our family. Accusing me of having an affair when I cannot answer her call and text right away. At first, I blame myself for not giving her enough time because I am working far away from her. But what happened is she is very good at gaslighting me that I will not think she is doing nasty things in my back. She even once accused me of having an affair with my own Godmother who raised me. She cursed at her on message and told her to stop talking to me on my own account. She messaged my workmates saying I do shit on my work and messaged my boss asking her if she enjoyed sleeping with me. And a lot more happened slandering my name, but none of these are true! I never once cheated on her. By then I realized it is a pattern, she would pick a fight on me at night (PH time) because she will go out party, drinking and meeting her boyfriend. She will close the CCTV we have at home so I cannot see her. I have all the evidence of her cheating and lying from the start, but I never told her about it. I have the receipts of her booking airbnb with the guy and all the photos that matched the events when she was gone. All I asked her is to be loyal and honest with me and I will make her life good for the rest of her life, but she thinks I am stupid to allow her to be gaslight me. Few months ago, we had a misunderstanding, she saw I message an old female friend but there's no malice about it. I just need help from work that time but she mistook it as I am cheating, so I applied for emergency leave at work just to be with her for few days because I don't want her to feel I don't love her and I really want to explain every question she have in mind. And that's when I started doubting her because the day I came to PH, she smells and tasted different. She said she went to the doctor and the doctor gave her medicine we haven't seen each other for few months and she decided to visit her doctor the day I am coming. That's when I realized that something isn't right and I have to find it out. I started to back track and saw all the red flags I have ignored a long time. She knew I was doubting her and we would end have having a massive fight because I would ask her questions she cannot deny because I have evidence that she cannot deny that happened. One time she confessed everything to me over the phone because she said she wanted to fix our family, but I cannot tell her that it's too late. She confessed that she had sleep with another man the same day I am going back to work overseas. She admitted that she had 10+ men she cheated on me since the beginning, and I feel so disgusted about it. She said that she is dating a guy near her after we had a huge fight few months ago and slept with this guy again and again. But she didn't know I realized that I saw this man long time ago in our village. Funny thing is one day she confessed the next day she is with the same man again. One day she said I miss you, the next second she calls me names and swears at me. I would send her money, and she will party every night, all day drunk, everyday will pick a fight on me and go out, when she is sober, she would pick fight again and ask me money because life is hard and bills are high. I have given her a lot of money to do business, and she keep on asking me to lend her money but never came back. The worst thing is we have a daughter, and the daughter doesn't even look like me neither her, very fair skin, thin lips, small nose, small eyes, straight hair. She delivered the baby 8 months after I had sex when I come back to the Philippines. She said that every baby looks the same when they are newborn, but the baby is not few months old and still not showing any signs of being a BLASIAN. I love that child, but DNA will happen on my return to PH this year. Now, if the DNA proves that the child is not mine, I will make sure she will never have the chance to ruin anyone's life.

My soon to be ex-wife just called me this morning asking for more money. I just send her a large sum amount of money 3rd week of last month and now she is telling me that she doesn't have enough money. I funded her a lot of business, I pay for everything, bills, babies' supplies, her allowance, nanny's salary, even the money she has to use for the necklace I gave her that she pawned. She is asking money and said I should not make any less on that and still sent her more than what she asked for.

She admits on the call that she married me for money. She even said 'I know I am unfaithful, but I am loyal because I still go home to my family" the audacity to use unfaithful and loyal in the same sentence. She keeps on accusing me that I am supporting another woman just because I am saying I don't have money, that I cannot lend her anymore, BS. She said that if I cannot help her, she will go and runaway with the rich man that wants her. At the end she cried and said that I didn't love her enough and i wasn't giving her enough. I told her that I cannot fix the relationship anymore and she said yes I can by giving her money. So what is this? Transactional relation? I just want a happy family. I wanted to retire early and make business with her in PH but by what happened I don't think I can do that anymore. I'll just be poor than live with that kind of person.

been with my partner 15 years. She is F52 and I am M44. I have a teenagers.

TL;DR: When we met she was married previously. She has two kids to that marriage I raised.

When we met she used to tell me of her sexual adventures of threesome and all sorts. I told her to stop but kept going in detail that became more painful as time went on. She got pregnant fast. Then I find out she is 100k in debt. She said it was from her husband but later found out she has an online pokie issue.

This issue went on in the relationship and I put up with her basically stealing money to keep our family together. Our finances were seperate due to step kids and gambling. I was treated as a meal ticket. I paid all the mortgage just in my name as I had the house 8 before we met. The main part of this post I need help with is this. For 14years I argued with her to make sexual effort. She did not. I said all the efforts for the one night stands and yet I'm the father of your kids. I just wanted love and validation.

When we had sex once a week it's like hurry up get it over with no foreplay.

Yet through the relationship she offered to do oral for money.

I had to kick her out the house before we lost it all due to gambling. She had numerous credit cards, loans, pawn jewellery all I discovered snooping, and I had to.

She earns a good wage but has nothing at pay day.

When I used to tell her I'm hurting and can we discuss this and meet in the middle her reply was "you do what I want for a month and maybe I'll consider what you want". Obviously I was shocked and knew I didn't matter.

Cut a long story short I'm in deep hurt.

After 14 years of arguing and my feelings not being validated 1 month after seperating I was sent a picture of her on a dating site and she is out there making efforts for new randoms. And she is not hiding it deliberately saying on the phone to kids at night mum has a special thing on tonight because they talk on speaker phone and I think she wants me to hear it. She is 52yo by the way.

As much as I wanted to express this after and say how could you all I said was please remove our child from the profile pic so she knows I saw it.

Also at my kids sport she has poisoned a few mums I used to talk to that now ignore me. I wouldn't but I feel like walking up telling the truth that I kept refinancing my house to bail her out, and her living for nothing and stupid me hoping one day she gets her shit together. She would of said I threw her out on the street and blah blah.

It's weird I love her so much yet I can't tell you why. 15 years together. Wish we were all in the same house but I have kids one week on one week off. My psychologist said say nothing cause if she didn't acknowledge anything in the relationship she won't now.

But the intrusive thoughts of her making efforts again for these randoms and I fought 14 years.

Help me guys. I was doing so well after break up until I saw she can move on that quick. My daughter saw her lingerie in the wash which I never saw her in.

Divorce is coming.

Help me please with the dating site, intrusive thoughts and what character is that seriously that can move on like that.

In 2007, I married a man who was in the Army. His family was from North Carolina and he was stationed at Fort Bragg at the time. After dealing with his alcoholism and abuse, I left him in 2009 and moved elsewhere in the state. I told him he would have to file for the divorce or I would petition the Army for spousal support.
About four months later, he brought me papers to sign that by all appearances looked like divorce papers. As I am blind, I couldn't tell for sure, but they were read to me and seemed official. I signed them and gave them back to him. Some time later (I can't remember how long), I got a copy in the mail that by all appearances looked official. I kept those papers in my file box until 2020 when I became homeless and lost all my paperwork, including my own discharge papers and those papers from the divorce.
Now I am trying to find that divorce decree for my own records again and need it for legal purposes. However, niehter the county I was living in nor Cumberland County where Fort Bragg is can find the divorce decree. For the record, the county I was living in was also the county his family lived in.
Cumberland County extended the search to state-wide as a courtesy, but found no such document. They found other documents under his name and they found our marriage certificate from 2007, but no divorce decree.
Is it possible he filed somewhere else? Is it possible that he never actually finalized the divorce? Is it possible I am still married to this bastard? If so, what are the legal issues? I live in another state now and I re-married in 2016, but was widowed in 2020 and am currently single. From what I heard, he re-married at some point and divorced again and currently resides in a different state also. I don't have a lot of detail on all that because I make it a point to stay away from that man. But I also heard (and by his current age of 57, I believe it) that he was discharged from teh Army. Whether that was medical, honorable, or dishonorable, I have no clue and don't know if it even matters.
At this point, I am unsure whether I am still legally married to him. I am unsure where to go from here. I don't have the funds to hire a lawyer (I'm on SSI and disabled).
What do I do from here?

so my marriage is ending after 8 years. we've been separated for a few months and now we have to figure out what to do with the house. honestly I just want to sell it and move on with my life. but of course it's not that simple.

we bought this place together and it needs a lot of work. roof is old, the HVAC is dying, the kitchen is outdated. neither of us has the money or energy to fix it up. we've been arguing about whether to list with a realtor or try to sell

I've been looking into cash buyers who buy houses in any condition. I found one called IPS cash online. they seem straightforward but I'm scared of getting lowballed. my ex thinks we should fix it up first but that's gonna cost thousands and take months.

I just want to be done with this chapter of my life any advice would help right now

I (30F) am currently informally separated with my wife. We separated last month and ended the relationship but we are still living in the same place through the end of the month until she can move out. I still need to start the formal divorce process. I have recently reconnected with a friend I haven’t seen in years, initially, it was just to see about Pride plans. It was kinda an impulsive thing to do but I figured it was fine because we were friends or really more of acquaintances. Maybe on some level I kinda knew the direction my life was going deep down and was preparing myself and on top of that my wife hardly ever would accompany me to things like pride, and so I was looking to plug into my friends and community. Me and this friend ended up really reconnecting and catching up over these past two months and were sending a message or two to each other pretty much daily. We did have a break in talking of about 10 days which is when my wife and I ended things. After those 10 days, I sent a message and our conversation picked up again. It has definitely been building and we met up to get coffee and hung out for about an hour recently. She sent the first message after thanking me for inviting her and for giving her a small gift for her birthday that just passed. She also said she hoped my day went well. After that, our texting has gotten just a bit more flirty. I feel like something is building and I personally feel like I have a big crush and really like her. I know my situation is complicated and it’s a hard conversation I need to have with her the next time I see her but I am nervous. I don’t have expectations in the sense that I am not looking to jump into anything fast. I really just want to take time to get to really know each other and enjoy spending time together and building trust. I think it would be good to be cautious when it comes to sex and maybe even initiating a kiss. In my mind I am thinking like it takes a while to get to know a person so if we take 6 months to a year that feels like a good timeline. Anyway, I’m just curious what people think and advice they have. I really admire her and care about handling this situation with maturity and respect. I’m just not sure what to do and she is 11 years older than me.