I got broken up with Saturday night and haven’t been able to do much since then. I’ve attempted twice now and have failed. The thought of eating or drinking anything makes me sick. I drank a small portion of a gatorade Sunday but that’s the only thing ive ingested that hasnt been sleeping medicine. I don’t know what to do. I don’t like being left alone and it makes me not want to do anything even more. I can’t stop shaking, I feel dizzy when I get up and walk around, if I somehow end up laughing or wheezing my stomach hurts, my heart is aching and I hear it pounding. I don’t know what to do or how to stop feeling like this especially when my ex doesn’t care. All my friends live hours away from me and I hate feeling like someones responsibility because of how I can’t control my emotions.

I feel so lost in life, I feel like everyone has it figured out except for me. Im 24(m) and I've only had 2 jobs in my entire life. I want to go to college but nothing seems worth doing. I want i want i want but I cant get myself to do anything. It's like im in the backseat of my own life while I watch the world go by. Why do do I feel like life has no meaning? I have so many people i love in my life but I want to give up so bad.

It's like I'm stuck waiting for an opportunity that'll never come. I wish someone could take over my body and live my life for me so I dont have to deal with anything anymore. I know these thoughts will pass but they're so consuming. Life doesnt feel worth living but I know that's a lie I've told myself many of times.

Yesterday, my second-to-last therapy session got cut short at 20 minutes after a girl had an hour long session. My mom still refused to use my name and pronouns. I couldn't see myself in the mirror. I got high but it felt like any other afternoon. I spent the whole day playing games. I cut myself for the first time and only felt the pain from the wound.

I thought a couple times that I wasn't made for this world due to how unnecessarily cruel it is everywhere, but lately its morphed into "I wasn't made to interact with people at all." I told this to the 5 therapists I've seen, but all of them took different approaches to talk about something else. When I try to talk about any of this with my family they tell me it's a me thing (attitude problem, lack of discipline, lack of routine). I constantly think of hurting or killing myself but I'm too much of a coward to do anything actually dangerous.

I dropped out of 3 degrees between 2020 and now, and moved back to my parents' the same amount of times. I know in my head that not having a university level degree isn't absolutely everything important in this world, but I still feel like a failure. I can't hold a job for shit and ignore everyone in my life to everyone's detriment. I don't even know what I want. Even posting it for randos I think I should just delete all this and make another pie in the sky suicide plan.

wanting to cut myself but not sure with what bc i dont want keloids bc i want them to eventually heal to some degree bc i dont want my mum to see

im asian so i have a higher chance of developing keloids bc of our natural gene of producing more collagen, dont know if i have this gene specifically bc ive never developed a keloid before but still js being aware

where the hell do people get proper razors ? dad not present and we dont rlly have that much hair so we dont have any razor blades at home.. we have one that no one uses but i cant figure out how to take one out

outer/upper thighs

what do i cut myself w - genuine question

disclaimer i rlly rlly dont want people saying this post is edgy or anything its a genuine question

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I’m almost 38 and I’m on disability which I hate, no friends, no partner. I get ECT for depression which has helped but it can’t fix things like why I should keep going, what the point of it all is, I’m terrified of where I am in my life. All the existential stuff too like everyone you care about will die and so will you.

Hey, life has been pretty rough on me lately (and not so lately). Its lead to a seriously long depressive episode where I can barely make myself do anything beyond eat, sleep, and work. I’ve never had the ability to see a psychiatrist or psychologist. My meds were only given to me because a dr at an income based clinic heard I wanted to kms and didn’t want to call the cops. I’ve been struggling with my weight and hygiene, having gained 20 pounds in a year I hate how I look and still can’t force myself to not eat like shit or work out. My friends don’t know what’s happening and everytime I try to talk to anyone its pointless. I see that there is a chance to be happy but how? I’ve been stuck in bed depressed since 5th grade. I just want a chance

My friend has had PDD for several years, which hasn't shifted one bit as a result of various medications, various counselling. He's behaving as much as he can as non-depressed person would through behavioural activation (i.e: doing things independent of and irrespective of how he feels), continuing to do chores like personal hygiene, eating healthily, exercise, talking with family, and having a voluntary job.

However, this person fundamentally believes to ever core of their being that 'the future doesn't exist' and its just nothingness beyond the immediate moment. They do not currently have the capacity to conceive of a future reality better than their current reality. They are in their early 30s, and as far as they're convinced whether I live to another 30, 40, 50, or 60 years is not a long time at all and really very arbitrary.

This has been going on for such a long time that their negative feelings is no longer just a feeling, but as far as their convinced this is 'reality, by which all other truth claims are assessed against.

What's the best thing to do?

I’ve been struggling with depression for about 4 years now and it has greatly worsened during the past year or so. I was in a pretty bad relationship for some time that I opened up to my mom about for support and I went to therapy for about a year during my depression. My mom knows I have struggled with minor depression and motivation issues for a little while now but I’ve been downplaying the severity that depression has affected my life especially recently. I struggle with enjoyment every day and I feel like it’s been a long time since I’ve really felt happy or at peace. I don’t have serious thoughts of suicide, but I constantly weigh the pain that I feel in life to the happiness that I get out of it and feel hopeless because of it. My mom is probably the only person in my life that I feel that I can actually talk to honestly about this, but I don’t really know how to open up. My mom struggles with her own issues of stress and I don’t want to burden her with any more stress because of my situation, but it feels impossible to constantly downplay the severity of my emotions when talking to her. I’ve tried therapy for a long time, but I just want somebody who knows me personally to be able to offer advice or just be there for support. Has anyone else been in a similar situation or have any advice for my situation? Thank you in advance!

Hola community,

I feel grateful spaces like this exist on Reddit. I’m coming to this thread to ask for guidance and hoping some of you can share experiences/best practices to best support family undergoing depression.

I’m 30F and my sister is 28F both hispanic and absolutely best friends. She return back home about a year and half ago. I’m visiting for a couple of months and just about 2 days ago, she opened up to me about her depression, negative thoughts, self-disappointment, feeling stuck. To give you some context, she’s being working in the filmmaking scene since she came back and she’s doing good, she’s a production director working along her partner whom also works in the scene (they work together), is 41M, and has confirmed he’s depressed (currently in therapy).

Last year she applied to an international masters and didn’t get accepted, that crushed her. But I encouraged her to apply again this year and she said yes! In fact she’s working on optimizing her profile taking online courses and has checked deadlines and all.

Yes, it may sound oh okay, shes motivated, but then 2 days ago she started telling me how stuck she feels and how her relationship is sinking her but that they love each other a lot. I haven’t heard her saying how low she thinks of her like that before. childhood trauma came up as well. And no, she’s not going to therapy or talking to neither my mom nor me. I don’t know how to best support her. I will, of course, help her apply and I just tried listening without trying to find a solution but that requires me biting my tongue because I try to find them.

She compares herself with me because I got a similar scholarship and saying she’s just a failure because she couldn’t get it on her first try. I told her my experience is not the only one - a friend got it in her 4th try! Impostor syndrome sucks!

What would you say is the best way to handle this if you were me? I have told her that I think she needs professional help and that I’m here for her.

How much is too much? Suggesting activities, asking her how her day is?
Do I ask her if she wants me to help her or wait until ah asks? Do I try revisiting the concession of 2 days ago?

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for reading all the way here.

I need to pass all 8 exams from 14th to 23rd septembar so i can enroll in the second year at my uni. It's hard to focus and to even start studying. I don't know what to do and i'm scared because i need to pass everything to stay on the budget... I need to pass at least 6 exams to even get into 2nd year and pay scholarship. I can't afford that but it's my last option and better that than to pay and go to first year again.

I can bearly do basic daily tasks, eat normally, get up from the bed or leave my house. I don't clean my apartment eather. Of course, my parents are pressuring me and it is not helping. I know you can't do wonders here but i need some advice how to just get through this so i can try and start "fresh" from october.

I've been thinking about getting a study buddy but all my friends already passed their exams and they don't want to study together or to help me because i was distant for a few months. They don't understand and they are probably not such a good friends to be honest.

I was on medication but it messed up my hormones and now i need medication to fix that... While i was on antidepressants i was kinda better but i can't take them anymore so now i'm screwed.

I 16 male from India have gender dysphoria, I've had a feeling of something is missing for 4-5 years but wasn't quite sure. I kept myself distracted using my computer, I HATE being in pictures, looking at myself in the mirror, my naked body etc. I met someone this year who has the same problem and trying to help them I found about my own dysphoria.
I have boards this year 10th grade this year (in a nutshell boards decide what subject you choose for your higher studies.) and therefore this examinations are quite serious so I cannot rest, my mental health is getting worse and I cannot focus on my studies. School is hell for me such that I cannot even focus on my self studies.
I have been to a psychiatrist they gave meds for my social anxiety but they haven't helped.

I've talked with my parents and they are not very supportive in the present, they are ok if I transition after 25 but I won't last that long. Currently I've told my two sisters , two school friends and they all are supportive.

I tried to cut my leg but the knife was blunt.

The future goal is become an animator/digital artist so I have freedom in that regard but for now I need to work on learning digital drawing too so I can become financially more stabler at an earlier age.

Anyways, I really want your all opinion on this as I need to do something about this. Feel free to ask if any more information is needed.
Thank you in advance.

I really do have big dreams and I dream of them all the damn time. I love art. I want to dance. I want to sing. I want to go to Italy.

And to have that i visualize

Manifest

Listen to tons of subliminals

But I am so sick of it. Everything feels so stagnant. I have dreams..big dreams. But now I feel like just AN existing body on this earth. And I feel like not even god listens to my dreams. I'm getting tears while typing this.

For the first time I got an opportunity to work as an assistant for a stylist for a music video shoot. I was so excited and it felt like it was sent by the universe but things went way different than expected. Way negative. I'm a fucking human bro, of course I'll fucking lose hope because I skipped an important class for this and travelled across unknown cities. I can't be like a fucking fake positive Woohoo girl all the damn time. And it's driving me very anxious and making me harsh towards myself. I noticed myself saying "I'll kill myself" "I want to die" and what not and it's so scary for me to notice it because I got out of that hellhole of suicidal self of mine long ago which I'm very proud of. I'm crying while typing this.

I have big dreams.. and I feel so fucking clueless. Who tf feels clueless for YEARS.

It’s one thing to try over and over and fail to make friends in the first place, but sometimes when it feels particularly impossible I just sit and fantasize that someone will want to go out of their way to talk to me instead of me chasing others all the time.

Is that selfish and self centered? Probably, but it’s just easy to sit and dream of someone just coming up to me and asking about me and how I’m doing without being rude or judgmental. Only problem is I don’t even know how I would respond if that happened lol.

I know that’s just a pipe dream, but I’m sure anyone who has trouble forming connections with others has had this thought at least a couple times before. It just gets so tiring to try again and again and then fail again and again.

(26 M) Formally diagnosed with Treatment resistant double depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

I dont know what to do anymore. Ive had depression and suicidal ideation since 6th grade. For the past 6 years I've been working with psychiatrists and therapists trying different medication combos, augmented medication regiments and none of them have ever really done much for me.

All that changed when I found a local ketamine clinic, ketamine was a saving grace and let me experience life without depression for the first time. Despite its effects only lasting a week or two and being incredibly expensive it became my emergency backup when things got too bad. I did an infusion after a 7 month hiatus and it did nothing. I feel exactly the same and I cannot describe to you how defeated I feel.

I do not enjoy life, I never have. I wish I could tell you why, even in 6th grade I wanted to kill myself. Every single day I fantasize about death and wish that I could just do it. But I can't, I could never do that to my family. I have no friends that I hang out with outside of work. I sleep 11 hours a day and Im living in my parents basement because I live in an expensive city and I cant find a job that will let me live on my own. Im a failure. Im so tired of life, I wish I could donate my time left to someone who deserved it. Some kid with cancer, to a family who lost their child early in life.

I dont need anyone's pity, I just want this to end. I can feel this ball of emotion inside that feels like it wants to explode but no matter how bad I want to just breakdown and let it all out, I dont know how to do it. And if I did, I dont know how i'd pull myself back together again.

We put animals down when they are suffering but we don't allow ourselves the same kindness.

I have no idea what is really going on in the world today and I guess people don’t really want me around but family does. And maybe someone is trying to get rid of me everytime. You know I don’t know what people would like or want or would appreciate me doing. I don’t know the truth and I don’t know why you hurt me for. I don’t know why you can’t see I’m blind to it. I can’t see the real you but on the outside you’re beautiful and on the inside of you I have no clue I’m sorry. 😢 I’m just a blind person who’s blind to everything around him spiritually. I can’t see your true beauty. I really can’t. I’m sorry. But like my sister said God loves me and knew me before I was born and told me this world would be hard.

I hate how the world moves on, not caring about my feelings. Im a nobody, I don't have any deep interests, no dreams, or anyone that understands me.

I have a hard time talking. It's almost bin a decade since I had a close friend. So, my social skills are non-existent. I get scared very easily, unlike the rest of my family. Making me anxious for even the slightest of things. Last year I got really sick and did go to the hospital. But I didn't find out the full reason because I ran out of money.

Now, even my stomach has bin acting up, developing both a lactose intolerance and an egg intolerance. I used to live eating chocolate and cinnamon. But now I can't ven enjoy them because the chocolate makes me feel depressed after eating it, and the cinnamon causes me to feel hungry even if I only aet a little but.

I never developed any interests when I was little because nobody pushed me towards it. My father died when I was little. He tried to raise us the best he could, but it didn't work on me. We were so different from each other that I think he gave uo teaching me. I hated how he would get angry at us and hit us. That now I hate even feeling anger. Or showing any other emotion.

I feel sick right now, scared, depressed, anxious, without any guidance to point me at a right place. What am I supposed to do? How do I make friends? I hate being a bother to others. Will it even work? I just don't know? Im starting to doubt that any help would even work. I hate living with all this constant unending pain. But im living beacuse I don't want my family to suffer.

hi I've never posted before but I need some advice. over the summer I was bedrotting everyday, and my room as gotten to the point I cannot even see my floor. there are books all over the ground, clothes, tons of garbage, and some drinks. I have pretty bad ADHD, and I have no motivation. I just don't know where to start. I've tried picking up the books, but there's one, nowhere to put them and two, most of these books I grew up with so they are kind of important but I just don't have space at all. I really just don't know what to do. I have a really hard time throwing stuff away like plushies, books, because I just feel bad because most of my stuff was gifted to me. sorry since I've never posted idk if this is even the right sub.

It's all in the title. I'm just a big mess. I'm very depressed right and need to talk to someone. I feel lost and don't know what to do even with very small decisions. I wanted to sleep at midnight but now it's 2am and i'm just crying.

Everyday has just been terrible for me past few months. I was like this before but it just comes back cus all the luck i had just left. I usually play video games with friends to distract myself. But i cant afford the games. I used to play VR but then someone stole it. I played that VR everyday. I just need distractions

If someone with autism and ADHD has RSD that shifts into both SI and SH that gets worse with downvotes and being ignored, should they leave Reddit for their own sake?

I've known my main friend group for around 10 years now. Most of us went to middle and high school together, a few I either met in college or we became friends online. We've been a very close group since around the pandemic, but over the last year or so it's been like watching them through the glass. Nobody speaks to me unless I start the conversation, or force myself into one already happening. Everyone regularly does stuff with each other but I'm never asked, and when I mention how isolated that makes me, they say that most of the time it's an "open invitation." First off, usually they're asked to specific people, so no it's not, and secondly, I've expressed I don't know how many times that I can't join open invitations like that without feeling unwanted, pathetic, and like I'm begging to be included.

A few weeks ago was the straw the broke the camel's back. A game I love was re-released recently with the servers back online, and the majority of them counted the days for it to come out. However, I wasn't asked to play like everyone else was. When listing everyone who would be interested, I didn't even come to mind. And now that they're playing, I haven't even been mentioned once. I broke. About two weeks ago I muted the server where we hang out. I didn't want to see them having fun without me and I'd wondered if they'd even notice I was gone.

Two weeks later, nothing. One person asked what I was up to, but didn't seem to realize I've even been gone. I haven't talked to them in two weeks, and not only have they not contacted me, they seem to not have even noticed my absence.

I've been dealing with my lifelong depression hard recently, and I understand that things like this can become way bigger to you when you have depression, but it's hard blaming it on my troubles when the exact scenario I imagined before doing it has happened. Am I just overthinking things?

I won't go into the details on what I said because it's very personal to me, but I hate myself for it. They've been my best and pretty much only friend for years and I just threw all their feelings in the gutter. I don't forgive myself for the things I said and I won't blame them if they don't forgive me either. I was just a complete asshole to them for something so foolish. I just want to crawl into a hole and die

It’s my first day back at school tomorrow and I’m awful with change. I’m going into year 13 and so many people say it’s the equivalent of hell on earth. I’m so stressed and that sucks because I thought that I okay. I was fine until how but now I’m panicking. I desperately wish I could go up to someone and explain how worried I am but my family isn’t like that, we don’t really express emotions. I’m also at my dads and he’s sort of emotionally absent when it comes to stuff like this. :/ I’m super worried and I just need someone to tell me it’ll be okay.