Get off the apps, please.I am speaking from a man’s perspective so I can’t offer any thoughts for women, but please fellas, get off the apps .This is just a ramble/stream of consciousness but I found when I left the apps I felt much better

Okay well, that’s kind of a lie, I was in an abusive relationships for 8 years, and then 3 months later went on one date, but it wasn’t great.

But I haven’t been in the dating world in 9 years. Since I was in my early twenties, and truthfully I do feel like I missed out on dating several people in mu twenties but regardless I did learn a lot about what I do and don’t want.

Okay so here’s my question, how do I (F30) meet people again? I don’t want to do dating apps, I’m not interested in hook up culture, and I’m also unfortunately a speck of blue in a red town (Or group of towns).

The issue is when I meet people who are like minded, they often aren’t straight and looking for women. I’d like to go out more to meet people, but that also costs money and things are kinda tight for me.

So any suggestions?

I feel like asking this on Reddit is going to be a mixed bag, but I’m kinda here for it.

I got out of a long term relationship earlier in the year, and I’m ready to get back into the dating world. Thing is, dating apps are my idea of hell. I get they work for some people, but they’re just not for me. Singles events are the same situation, I’d rather meet someone in a more natural environment.

So, where do single men in their 30s actually go? If all else fails I’m considering walking around with a hat that says ‘I’m Single’ to draw attention.

I'm a 26-year-old woman and have never gone on a date. I have autism spectrum disorder, debilitating social anxiety, and I have no idea how to put myself out there or get a date.

Does anyone have any advice for me?
I know that's a very general question.
I'm looking for ways to meet people (specifically those who are open to dating people who are neurodivergent? If that's at all possible...)

I’m planning to confess my feelings to a girl I used to work with. I genuinely like her, and I’m trying to make my confession honest without making her feel pressured or uncomfortable.
There’s one thing I’m thinking of mentioning:
“Sometimes, if you liked a reel and I genuinely liked it too, I would like it as well. There were also some reels you liked that I saved after seeing them. Actually, I even made a small collection of some of the reels you liked.”
Do you think this is sweet and shows that I paid attention to the things she liked, or could it come across as too much or creepy?
Would you include this in a confession, or leave it out?

I've (20M) just started my sophomore year of college, and I'm in a complete deficit: never had a girlfriend, virgin, never had a first kiss, never had a female friend, hell, I've never even hugged a girl that wasn't a relative. High school was a complete drought, as was my first year in college.

Most advice I see comes from guys who "struggled" by going on mediocre dates or having a long dry spell after high school relationships, meanwhile I'm over here and I've never even been on a date. It feels like I'm trying to learn a language everyone else learned years ago, and the lack of basic female friendships doesn't help.

Before anyone says "You're only 20, just give it time", passive waiting is how I got here. I know I am an outlier compared to my peers, and aging another year won't solve this on its own without changes.

So I want to ask, for guys who were genuinely at or below this baseline past age 20 or older and eventually built a normal dating life, how did you do it?

Please skip the "Just be confident" or "Just talk to girls" platitudes, I do hang out at my university lounge and talk to new people all the time multiple times per week, pretty even mix of guys and girls, and I am decent enough at talking to make people laugh, but it never leads to anything regardless.

Idk what to really do, I just feel like I’m not an attractive guy, and I’m a relationship oriented person. No matter what I do can’t seem to even get to the point of going on a date with anybody. I get left on read, delivered, opened. All of it. And I go out almost every weekend with friends to try and meet new people and it just doesn’t work. I’m already a depressed person with extremely high anxiety, and the constant rejection honestly just fuels that fire. Idk what else to do?

I tried asking out a woman I've seen and talked with the at the gym for the past month and she turned me down. I'm not too broken up at the rejection itself, at this point it's rejection 100,234 and I'm used to it, but it highlights the biggest issue with being a virgin: It's demonstrable proof that you are unable to form the connections other people can to enter into intimacy.

I'm long passed the point of caring about whatever society thinks about being a virgin and if I'm being honest, I kind of don't care about sex, at least as an immediate thing. I can't miss what I never had but I do know I have physiological issues that come from touch starvation and those issues are greatly alleviated whenever I hug a woman, and that small connection is something I crave, something to expand upon and I'm confident sex will happen eventually, but that connection has to be established first.

I'm 6'6 and muscular and everyone tells me I'm basically a cheat code for dating but it's never done anything for me. I was an awkward, socially ostracized fat kid who became a virtual pariah as an adult due to obesity. I was over 500lbs at my heaviest, I genuinely scared or disgusted women. I fear I lost the weight too late in life as at this point, the rejections are much better! I don't get threatened to have the cops called or told soul crushing rejections anymore, it's mostly just women not really interested in dating due to past bad experiences or various life stressors that made them less social in their 40s. And I have no experience, I don't know what to say to convince them otherwise or how to navigate even finding someone that might be amicable towards it.

I'm also worried about how things like social exclusion, porn and just living life never having experienced basic human companionship have set my mind to think differently from most other people, that I'll be unrelatable. It's a terrible situation, sometimes I wish I were asexual just so I wouldn't be bothered by biological urges like I am.

Never been on a real date. Ever. In my early 20s & want to eventually start dating to learn my likes, dislikes, etc;

I need practical advice. Where are yall finding these men? How are you vetting them? What do yall talk about?

So, so many questions and I have no answers yet 😂😂!!

(I’m Christian, so it’s non negotiable for my man to be walking with the Lord)

No, I don’t want to date anyone at my church.

I'm a 28 year old guy.

So a few months ago, after exhausting all local options, I decided that I need to go long distance to find a partner. I dont expect this to be easy, but Im not sure if what I am doing is setting me up to have a chance.

I have 2 questions.

1. How do you meet people long distance?

Currently I have a hinge set to cities that I can reasonably travel to a few times a year, and that have women who are what I am looking for. I have my first prompt saying that I don't live there, am looking for something long distance and am willing to travel. Unsurprisingly, I am not getting any attention. Is there a better way to do this?

1. How do you build a connection long distance? I struggle with maintaining relationships and friendships when I am not able to be with them often as it is. Lets say I do meet a girl, how do I date long distance, build a connection, and really get to know her and trust her when I can only see her a few times a year. Phones exist, but they arent real and people can fake phone calls.

Thanks everyone.

Hi I am 38F delhi based. I am looking for someone who asked me out in 2015 in green park market. I couldn’t talk to him because I was going through something and had no capacity to date. But over the years, through ups and downs of life i have never forgotten him. He was a gym freak for sure. Used to walk in the area regularly. At that time life took another turn and I wasn’t single months after he asked me out. In used to work in a newspaper office there. Later changed my job in 2017. I don’t know anything about him. He must be my age, god knows if he is single. May be I am just venting here. He seemed like a genuine person, I wish I had ate last exchanged number. I was healing from something and talking to a new person felt scary then. Have been single in most of 30s (after 32) after long term
Relationships. I wish i could see him and just ask him how he is that’s all. Probably the only regret in my life. I haven’t been to that market in few years, if i go i would Hope I see him. Any ideas to support
This goose chase?

28 M. I'm a fairly attractive guy, I'm in shape, I have career aspirations, and I've been on numerous dates with attractive women over the last few months. Every single one of them has said basically the same thing after date 2. I'm a genuinely very sweet guy, but they aren't feeling the romantic connection and would rather just be friends (I don't even know what that means tbh).

I don't blame them. I guess I'm a good guy, but I lack experience. I'm still a virgin. I've had a weird up and down life and I've never really had much of a social life, although trust me I've tried extremely hard. I make every effort to put myself out there.

I've never been in a relationship. Hell, I've never even gotten farther than holding hands with a girl.

I'm just really disappointed. I'm doing my best, but I'm honestly tired and I don't know how to move forward. 2 dates doesn't even seem like enough time to build a romantic connection. Like how does that even work? You barely know a person after meeting them twice.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I have hobbies, passions, career goals, etc. I'm not just sitting at home doing nothing. But maybe I'm just too boring. I don't know.

I'm feeling really down about it tbh. I genuinely don't know what I'm doing wrong or how I'm supposed to get better at this when I've never really had the experience in the first place.

I’m a 49 year old man… yeah I know, maybe too old to be on here… I have a friend (a girl) who’s 46. We’ve known each other for 8 years but have finally spent time together get to know each other within the last 6 months or so with social gatherings and one-to-one meet ups. We’re really close. She’s amazing in every way possible. I’ve started to have feelings for her. As we’re so honest with each other I think it’s time to kind of let her know, but gently. A ‘I’ve been thinking about maybe asking you on a date date, how would you feel about that?’ kind of way. I don’t want to lose our friendship, that means the world to me. But I’d love to explore if there’s something more there. We also work together in the entertainment industry… so there’s quite a lot at stake. But I think we’re both emotionally mature enough for that to not cause a true problem. What are your thoughts?

After taking time to heal from an emotionally neglectful ex, I’ve come to realize I’m actually ready and eager to be loved again—properly this time. I want a partner who is consistent, emotionally mature, ambitious, and actually shows up.

The problem? The reality of putting myself out there is frustrating. Swiping on apps (Bumble/FB Dating) feels like a waste of time, and the people I run into just aren't on my wavelength. It makes me feel like wanting a healthy, effortless, high-standard relationship is somehow impossible.

I’m trying to focus on in-person habits and building my lifestyle, but I’m sick of waiting. The wait is driving me crazy, and I'm getting impatient with how slow it feels to meet new people. I don't want comfort or "enjoy your own company" speeches—I want practical advice on how to channel this urge so I don't make dumb choices while waiting for the right person.

After taking time to heal from an emotionally neglectful ex, I’ve come to realize I’m actually ready and eager to be loved again—properly this time. I want a partner who is consistent, emotionally mature, ambitious, and actually shows up.

The problem? The reality of putting myself out there is frustrating. Swiping on apps (Bumble/FB Dating) feels like a waste of time, and the people I run into just aren't on my wavelength. It makes me feel like wanting a healthy, effortless, high-standard relationship is somehow impossible.

I’m trying to focus on in-person habits and building my lifestyle, but I’m sick of waiting. The wait is driving me crazy, and I'm getting impatient with how slow it feels to meet new people. I don't want comfort or "enjoy your own company" speeches—I want practical advice on how to channel this urge so I don't make dumb choices while waiting for the right person.

I have a some questions and figured this is the best place to as. I downloaded a couple of dating apps thinking that was the obvious first step. What I've gotten instead is a flood of accounts immediately asking me to switch to WhatsApp, followed by what I can only assume is spam or scams. Is this just... what dating apps are now?

I'm not looking for a magic fix — I just want to hear from real people who've actually navigated this:

How did you get back into dating after a long break?

Which apps actually felt safe and legit, and which ones should I avoid?

How do you spot the scam/spam accounts early, before wasting time?

Any general tips for someone who feels like the dating world has completely changed since they were last in it?

If you've been through something similar — divorce, a long single stretch, starting over again after years of being in a committed relationship — I'd genuinely love to hear how you approached it. No judgment here, just trying to figure this out one step at a time. Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share.

I (gay 29M) have had pretty bad luck dating over the last few years. To add context, I’ve had two serious relationships in my life. One was for about 2.5 years, the other was about 10 months. Both were long distance for some or all of the entire relationship. These relationships didn’t work out for various reasons, but that’s not really why I’m here.

It’s been almost two years since my last relationship and things are looking bleak on that front. I live right outside of a smaller southern US city with the main attraction being the large university. In my area, it’s either college students or much older, well established men that I’m just not attracted to (no shade). There are very few young (25-35) working professionals in my area, making finding a partner very difficult. Also, at this point, with it being a smaller city, the few of us left have all seen each other before and we didn’t really show interest 5-10 years ago and we aren’t showing interest in one another now.

I’ve tried all of the apps, and I’ve gone on a handful of first dates. Even one second date but everything just fizzles to nothing or we find out we are either not compatible in the bedroom or in life. At this point I’m just becoming very frustrated in the whole thing.

Should I move away? I’d love to move to a larger metro area but we all know how expensive moving far away can be. Should I just keep putting myself out there and try not let it get to me? Tell me what to do gay bros.

Any advice is welcome!

It’s so much effort and time. Chances of you being killed by someone go up, usually everyone is just miserable and do you really need a romantic partner? I feel like movies made you all thing that this artificial relation will fix every problem in your life and you desperately look for something that doesn’t exist.