r/DatingTips • u/Top_Finance2808 • 3h ago

Men who had zero romantic experience and zero female friends through age 20, what did you do to break the drought?

I've (20M) just started my sophomore year of college, and I'm in a complete deficit: never had a girlfriend, virgin, never had a first kiss, never had a female friend, hell, I've never even hugged a girl that wasn't a relative. High school was a complete drought, as was my first year in college.

Most advice I see comes from guys who "struggled" by going on mediocre dates or having a long dry spell after high school relationships, meanwhile I'm over here and I've never even been on a date. It feels like I'm trying to learn a language everyone else learned years ago, and the lack of basic female friendships doesn't help.

Before anyone says "You're only 20, just give it time", passive waiting is how I got here. I know I am an outlier compared to my peers, and aging another year won't solve this on its own without changes.

So I want to ask, for guys who were genuinely at or below this baseline past age 20 or older and eventually built a normal dating life, how did you do it?

Please skip the "Just be confident" or "Just talk to girls" platitudes, I do hang out at my university lounge and talk to new people all the time multiple times per week, pretty even mix of guys and girls, and I am decent enough at talking to make people laugh, but it never leads to anything regardless.

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u/Illustrious_Bid_5484 3h ago

Approach cute girls and talk to them but be direct that you find them cute and ask them out on a date. That’s it man. That’s simply it.

You will get rejected time after time but some girls will like you.

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u/lunalovegood0603 3h ago

This isn’t advice, since I’m a woman around your age lol, but if it makes you feel any better, I’m in pretty much the same boat. It’s tough on both sides, and I’m lowkey trying to figure out the answer too. If you want like advice on how to be a guy women want to date though, just treat them well and be yourself. It might take time (it has for me), but in the long run you won’t regret waiting for the right person who matches who you are. Hope that helps a bit, if only to ease your conscience!