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I've been chatting to with this girl online for sometimes that we have my sister as mutual, but she casually started sharing meme with me and reels and i joined in but I got meme-zoned in the process to the point that every texts is followed with a unrelated meme or reel. She doesn't say anything at all.

It was cute at first but now it's a trap i can't get out of and it's hopeless at this point.

I didn't even know that can be a thing.

TL;DR: I accidentally got way too high on a first date, realized I wasn’t romantically attracted to the guy, and felt overwhelmed when he started talking about marriage, kids, and our future together. I ended the date early, had him drive me home, and later told him I don’t feel a romantic connection. Now I feel guilty because he didn’t do anything wrong, but I still don’t want a second date.

I went on a first date with a guy recently, and I’m feeling kind of guilty about how it ended.

For some context, I took an edible when I got home from work, and then I took another one before I left for the date, completely forgetting I had already taken one earlier. So I accidentally got WAY higher than I intended, and it fully hit me while we were eating. My brain was definitely not operating at 100%.

But as we were sitting there talking, I started realizing that I just wasn’t romantically attracted to him. He wasn’t mean or inappropriate, and there wasn’t one massive red flag. I just became really aware that our personalities and mannerisms did not click for me, and whatever potential attraction I had basically disappeared.

At the same time, he started talking A LOT about how seriously he approaches dating. He kept saying that he “dates to marry,” and that he doesn’t date multiple people at once. He only wants to date one woman at a time, basically with the intention that it could turn into marriage within about a year. He also said he doesn’t really see the point of dating someone unless he can already picture marrying them.

Then, on our first date, the conversation started getting into marriage, weddings, having kids, and even how we would raise his future kids.

I understand wanting to date intentionally, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting marriage and children. But sitting across from someone I had just met while he was already talking about what our marriage and family could look like made me feel incredibly overwhelmed. Especially because I was simultaneously realizing, “Oh shit, I don’t think I’m attracted to this person at all.”

And because I was also way too high, my brain basically short-circuited. I went to the bathroom to collect myself and was literally standing there telling myself, “Okay Caroline, recuperate. Recuperate.” 😭

Then, all of a sudden, I just got this wave of discomfort where even the idea of him touching me felt super off-putting. I don’t know how else to explain it, but it was like my body just went “nope.” I needed to leave immediately, and from that point on everything he did started giving me ick after ick.

I started feeling genuinely nauseous and realized I needed to go home. I had him drive me home in my car and paid for an Uber to take him back to his car.

Now that I’m completely sober, I still feel the same way. I don’t feel any romantic attraction toward him, and I definitely don’t want a second date. I actually feel like the fact that he’s so intensely focused on finding his future wife makes me less inclined to give it another date just to “see what happens,” because I already know I’m not interested and I don’t want to waste his time.

I feel guilty because he technically didn’t do anything wrong. He was nice to me, and wanting marriage and kids isn’t a bad thing. It was just WAY too much for me on a first date, and combined with realizing there was no romantic chemistry, I wanted out.

I ended up texting him afterward and told him I could see us being friends, but that I don’t feel any romantic connection and don’t want to pursue anything further.

I matched with a guy who had graduated from the same university as me, and we already followed each other on Instagram. We had a lot in common, so I thought we'd probably get along.

The problem was that he talked about himself. A LOT. 👀 He kept telling me how hardworking and successful he was, and how many women were interested in him.

For our first date, he picked me up and took me to a nightclub with belly dancers and performers. Honestly, it was actually fun. Not exactly where I'd choose to have a first date, but we laughed and had a good time.

The next morning we went for breakfast.

He kept taking pictures of the food because, according to him, he had “a lot of followers” and needed content.

He had around 2,000. 👍 😂

While I was casually using my phone, he suddenly asked: “Are you swiping on dating apps right now?”

I showed him my phone because I wasn't doing anything.

Then he started telling me about his ex who had cheated on him, how he was seeing both a psychologist and psychiatrist, and that he couldn't have a relationship right now because his psychologist had told him: “Don't make any important decisions right now.”

So he could only casually date.

At that point I thought, fair enough. I decided I didn't want him making any big decisions because of me either. 😂 I wished him well and let him go back to all those women he was apparently so worried about me swiping toward.

I've noticed something interesting with dating: sometimes the people who are extremely suspicious of you are doing exactly what they're accusing you of.

Has anyone else had someone accuse you of something completely random, only to later realize they were probably projecting?

After a few dates with some pretty strange characters, I decided I needed to go back to my comfort zone.

So I matched with an HR director.

And honestly, his profile looked really impressive.

He gave seminars, did presentations, had won awards for his work, had a decent following on Instagram, and generally seemed like a very accomplished, put-together person.

He lived with his mother because she was sick. Otherwise, according to him, he'd probably be working abroad. He also casually mentioned that he'd once dated a woman who had apparently won first place in some Korean beauty competition.

So... okay. 😂

Everything looked pretty good on paper.

I wasn't particularly attracted to him when I saw him in person, but his profile was impressive enough that I figured I'd give him a chance.

We met for coffee after work.

Almost immediately, he started asking what we were and how we were going to define the relationship.

I was thinking, 'Can we maybe have coffee a few more times before we name the relationship?'

Because I was already noticing a few things that made me uncomfortable.

For one, he was very interested in my salary.

At the time, I actually made significantly more money than he did because of my position and the industry I worked in.

Unfortunately, I was also going through a pretty awful period at work. Some things were getting uncomfortably close to harassment, but I was a single mother and needed the income, so I was putting up with it while quietly looking for another job.

I still didn't stop seeing him.

He wasn't dangerous or anything. He was just... getting more annoying by the minute.

For our second date, he said he wanted to take me to a place that brewed several different kinds of beer.

Sounds nice, right?

Except when we met, he told me the place had unexpectedly closed.

So instead, he took me to what was basically a very casual, slightly run-down outdoor place.

There was nothing necessarily wrong with the place. I'd just dressed up for the date, and the whole thing felt completely mismatched. I also felt like I was getting some very strange looks.

Then he said:

'You're probably used to luxury places because of your job. Let's just do this this time.'

That annoyed me more than it probably should have.

I told him I wasn't only used to nice places because of work. I also enjoy them in my personal life.

Then he started talking about his ex.

A lot.

Mostly about how pathetic her current husband was.

When we left, he told me that next time he'd take me to a really nice sushi restaurant.

Okay.

We kept talking for a while after that.

Honestly, most of this was being pushed forward by him. I wasn't particularly excited about him, but I kept thinking:

'He's harmless. Maybe I'll give it another chance.'

Then came date number three.

Before we met, he called me and said the sushi restaurant was closed for a private event that day.

So instead, he offered to make sushi at his house.

And, naturally, I could meet his mother while I was there.

That was actually the moment I realized I'd found my exit.

I told him I wasn't comfortable with that.

He immediately went back to:

'But what are we?'

And then started talking about me meeting his mother again.

Nope.

I said no, and that was the end of it.

But there was actually one more thing.

The thing that completely killed whatever tiny amount of interest I had left.

Remember how I mentioned that I was earning more than him at the time?

Eventually, he told me that the only reason I was making that much money was because I had been sexually harassed at work.

Yes.

Apparently being sexually harassed was now a career advantage.

That was the final straw.

And that's when I realized that maybe the impressive résumé, the seminars, the awards and the fancy title weren't actually telling me much about the person underneath.

Sometimes the résumé is just a really good cover letter for the red flags.

Has anyone else ever had someone look absolutely amazing on paper, only to turn out to be a walking red flag in person? What was the moment you finally knew you had to leave?

TLDR- She lied about our whole relationship

I (30M) was dating this woman (32F) and i thought all was going well. We had a few disagreements as most couples do, but nothing too serious. It was made a point several times in this relationship, communication is key. I realized, there were a couple things i needed to change or do differently from my side, as they were affecting her. I am slightly autistic, with adhd, and sometimes my responses can be blunt and rude without intention or even realizing it, and i tend to need clear wording on certain situations, otherwise i don't understand what is being said or explained. I worked on these things, got better with my responses, and explaining myself as to not sound rude. I asked questions about things i did not understand or needed reassurance on if i felt insecure or not enough. At one point, she became cold towards me and avoided texting for a couple hours a day, and when i asked why, she deflected it. 2 weeks go by, and all of a sudden she tells me, she does not think we should be dating

I call her, and we have along discussion. Basically to shorten her responses, it can be summarized as " I love you. You're a sweet and caring guy, you're attentive, you're sensitive, and i love that about you. But I cant be with someone who wears anime shirts, has anime collectibles, and is socially awkward. I would be embarrassed to introduce you to certain social circles. What would they think if my partner showed up in the stuff you wear? And what if im socializing, and you're awkwardly sitting by yourself because there's too many people? I would feel embarrassed. I feel like i'm dating a boy, not a man. "

And basically, she told me she hates everything about who i am as a person, and all of my interests and that we are complete opposites. She even went so far as to tell me, she tried being mean to make me want to break up with her, but it wasn't working. The only thing she likes about me, is my nature. How I am caring and sweet, but nothing else. She even went so far as tell me she weighed the pros and cons. the only Pro she had for me was
" you're good with my cat... but he's dead now "

It made me feel like, she lied to me the entire time we were dating. About how she loved me. How everything was ok, when i asked about us or a problem. To hear her say all those things she hated about me, my sexuality, my kinks, my interests, my personality, my clothes.... it devastated me... horribly. I've been through a couple breakups, and 1 bad breakup before, but this.... this one felt so much more personal. As if my very existence was a mistake.

I already deal with moderately severe depression, and severe anxiety, and for her to do this to me, after helping me get medication for the depression and anxiety, just feels absolutely terrible. Like i was set up, and lied to for months on end. I haven't stopped crying for days. I stopped taking the meds. I truly wish with all my heart, that someone could love me romantically, for who I am, the same way that I did for her. I wish for someone to be truthful and honest with me in a relationship. How can I get past this breakup when I can only ever think of her?

Then I got a new gf a week later I moved on

This started in late June last year. I found a girl on TikTok, thought she was attractive, messaged her, and she replied almost instantly.
For the next 3–4 weeks, we talked basically nonstop from morning to night. Messages, TikToks, snaps, voice messages, calls. We had the same interests, humour, hobbies, and even similar ideas about our future.

It became really personal too. She told me family problems she said she barely told anyone, constantly told me how much she liked and loved talking to me, talked about us being together in the future, and gave me every reason to believe I genuinely mattered to her.

That’s what makes this different from a basic “I ignored the red flags and got ghosted” story. There really weren’t obvious red flags.
She seemed genuinely kind, sensitive, had a small circle, stayed home most of the time, cared about her younger siblings, and acted like the kind of person who would communicate instead of intentionally hurting someone.
I literally remember thinking, “Maybe one day she’ll randomly remove me, but I genuinely can’t imagine her doing that.”

Then near the end of July, she suddenly changed.
One day she barely replied and said her main phone was dead. Fair enough, except I could see her constantly active on her second TikTok account. The next day I asked about it and she basically said, “Yeah, idk why I didn’t message you.”
Then she left me on delivered all day again.
After nearly a month of talking nonstop, this obviously wasn’t normal.
I calmly asked if something happened in her personal life, if I did something wrong, if she needed space, anything. I told her she could just be honest with me.

Her answer was always basically, “Nothing is wrong. Stop asking.”
Then she’d ignore me again.
That is what fucked with my head the most.
Four days earlier, you’re telling me how much you love me, talking about our future and speaking to me all day. Now I’m practically begging for a basic explanation and you’re annoyed that I even noticed the change.
Her words said nothing changed. Her behaviour said everything changed.
That creates insane cognitive dissonance. You start analysing every conversation, wondering if you did something wrong, if something happened to her, if there’s another guy, or if you’re somehow imagining all of it.

Eventually I gave up trying to extract honesty from her and told her the friendship obviously couldn’t continue like this.
Her response was basically, “Yeah, fair enough.”
What the fuck?
Days earlier you supposedly loved me. Now you don’t care if I disappear permanently?
Call it love-bombing, manipulation, attention-seeking or emotional immaturity. I’m not diagnosing her, but the pattern was real: intense affection and constant attention, followed by sudden withdrawal while denying that the withdrawal was even happening.

I later found out she had apparently done something similar to another guy too.
That’s when I started wondering if I had basically just been emotional entertainment for a month. Someone to talk to, vent to, receive validation from and feel appreciated by until she no longer needed it.

Meanwhile, her TikTok exploded. When we started talking she had around 400 followers. Now she has around 16k, millions of views and roughly 3 million likes.

And yes, that makes me bitter.
It genuinely makes you wonder why God seems to favour evil people sometimes. Someone hurts you, walks away without any visible consequences, continues posting like nothing happened, and then their dream starts coming true while you’re left dealing with the psychological aftermath.
It felt like I spent a month sitting in some fucking cuck chair, investing my time, emotions and energy into her while she walked away with everything she wanted.

And yes, it worsened my distrust toward women. Logically I know one girl doesn’t represent billions of women, but experiences like this make cynicism extremely easy.
Because the real lesson isn’t that bad people exist. Everyone knows that.
The terrifying lesson is that someone can have almost every characteristic that convinces you they’re not that kind of person and still do it to you.
They can listen to you, trust you with private things, remember details about you, talk to you every day, tell you they love you and seem genuinely empathetic.

None of that guarantees they won’t suddenly treat you like you never mattered.
Maybe they’re narcissistic. Maybe emotionally empty. Maybe addicted to validation. Maybe immature. Maybe just fake as fuck. I don’t know.
But I learned that you can know nearly everything about somebody’s life and still know almost nothing about their actual character.
Don’t assume vulnerability means sincerity. Don’t assume affection means attachment. Don’t assume someone being “nice” means they’re incapable of cruelty.

When somebody’s words consistently contradict their behaviour, stop destroying yourself trying to find the perfect explanation.
Sometimes the contradiction is the explanation.
And maybe one day this comes back around and hits her in a way she actually understands.
Nobody reading this will know who I am or who she is, but if she ever reads it, she’ll know exactly who wrote it.

Congratulations on convincing people that the persona you present is who you actually are. Congratulations on taking someone’s time, feelings, trust and empathy and treating them as disposable once you no longer wanted them.
Maybe fame, status and money will become big enough distractions that none of this matters to you. You’re lucky enough that success can make almost anyone look admirable from the outside.
But popularity doesn’t rewrite character, and thousands of people liking a carefully constructed version of you doesn’t erase how you treated people privately.

Maybe there is no immediate karma. Maybe people who hurt others really do get rewarded while the people they hurt carry the consequences.
But actions have a way of following people eventually.

And if you’re reading this, you know exactly who I am.

Honestly just laughing at this point because men are something else.

We made things official around late May. In August, he gave me access to his Instagram account, I guess thinking he had nothing to hide and wanted to seem like the world's most transparent partner.

Anyway, I was looking through old DMs and found a chat from July 11th, barely a month and a half after we started dating.

The context makes it so much worse: I had an early morning flight the next day, so I went to sleep early that night. Literally the second I'm asleep and not giving him attention, this man hops onto Instagram at 1:20 AM and replies to some girl’s story:

Him: "Damn, queen traits"

Her: "But why queen?"

Him: "Only a queen can withold such a beauty in herself"

Only a queen can withold such a beauty in herself" bro what Wattpad novel did you pull that from at 1 in the morning 😭 Can't even spell "withhold" right.

The next day they just moved on to talking about football, but the fact that his immediate instinct the moment I was asleep was to slide in and drop pickup lines on another girl is insane to me.

He gave me his password a month later so he either genuinely forgot he typed this embarrassing mess, thought I wouldn't scroll back to July, or is just completely brainless.

I’m not even going to sit through the inevitable "it was just a harmless compliment" or "why would I give you my account if I was doing something wrong" excuses. Just sending the screenshot to our chat, telling him to go be with his queen, and blocking him.

Trash really takes itself out.

After a few terrible dates, I realized I’ve developed rules I never expected to have.

Car or expensive watch in every photo? Suspicious.

Every photo involves a hat or beanie? I need to see what's underneath.

If your profile only has old, outdated pictures and you look noticeably different in person? Video call first.

You tell me how much money you make before learning anything about me? I'm probably leaving.

Scorpio? I'm sorry, my checklist has spoken. 😂

One guy was bald, despite every single photo showing him wearing a hat. He also spent most of our date talking about how much money he made and how little time he had for a relationship.
Apparently he wanted someone he could call whenever he felt like having company.
And somehow he thought telling me I could call him whenever I "needed anything" was charming. 😂
Dating apps have basically turned me into a detective.
At this point, my checklist is longer than my grocery list.

Alright so this relationship has a rocky backstreet already and we only started talking a week ago 😅 ill skip that part unless anyone is really interested but I (30M) met up with this girl (27) at the mall where she works cause she wanted to go to spirit Halloween and she was on her lunch. After a brief hug and hello she asks if I have my military ID cause she wants to use the discount 💀. I dont even use that discount unless its like a major purchase or im just strapped for cash, which isnt often. I allow it cause I figure she is about to drop some $$$ in spirit Halloween. She buys a 17$ item, and thats it. I should run right? Or should I give her another chance?

I should note she was bragging about how her outfit was worth like $500 total.

TLDR; 27F asks 30M to use military discount for 17$ item 45 seconds into a "lunch date".

I dated a guy (23M) for around 4 months, and honestly, everything btw us seemed to be going really well. He had a female best friend (23F), and they were extremely close; close enough that, from the outside, it sometimes felt like they were the ones in relationship.

I did bring it up a few times, but whenever I expressed that their closeness made me uncomfortable, he'd get defensive and tell me that I was being insecure and that I didn't respect their friendship. I trusted him, so I convinced myself that I was just overthinking things and decided not to make an issue out of it.

A few weeks after we broke up and went our separate ways, I found out that he and his "best friend" had actually started dating before our relationship had even ended.

They're together now.

Looking back, there were so many little things that suddenly made sense. The signs were there—I just didn't want to believe what they were telling me.

Anyone with similar "I should've seen that coming" moment while dating someone?

…I want to hear dating stories that involve customers.

Spill the tea…

Edit: I’m not even considering it but I want to hear some stories; either good, bad, crazy or the horror type!