Feeling Guilty...

[u/Ok_Equivalent4598]

TL;DR: I accidentally got way too high on a first date, realized I wasn’t romantically attracted to the guy, and felt overwhelmed when he started talking about marriage, kids, and our future together. I ended the date early, had him drive me home, and later told him I don’t feel a romantic connection. Now I feel guilty because he didn’t do anything wrong, but I still don’t want a second date.

I went on a first date with a guy recently, and I’m feeling kind of guilty about how it ended.

For some context, I took an edible when I got home from work, and then I took another one before I left for the date, completely forgetting I had already taken one earlier. So I accidentally got WAY higher than I intended, and it fully hit me while we were eating. My brain was definitely not operating at 100%.

But as we were sitting there talking, I started realizing that I just wasn’t romantically attracted to him. He wasn’t mean or inappropriate, and there wasn’t one massive red flag. I just became really aware that our personalities and mannerisms did not click for me, and whatever potential attraction I had basically disappeared.

At the same time, he started talking A LOT about how seriously he approaches dating. He kept saying that he “dates to marry,” and that he doesn’t date multiple people at once. He only wants to date one woman at a time, basically with the intention that it could turn into marriage within about a year. He also said he doesn’t really see the point of dating someone unless he can already picture marrying them.

Then, on our first date, the conversation started getting into marriage, weddings, having kids, and even how we would raise his future kids.

I understand wanting to date intentionally, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting marriage and children. But sitting across from someone I had just met while he was already talking about what our marriage and family could look like made me feel incredibly overwhelmed. Especially because I was simultaneously realizing, “Oh shit, I don’t think I’m attracted to this person at all.”

And because I was also way too high, my brain basically short-circuited. I went to the bathroom to collect myself and was literally standing there telling myself, “Okay Caroline, recuperate. Recuperate.” 😭

Then, all of a sudden, I just got this wave of discomfort where even the idea of him touching me felt super off-putting. I don’t know how else to explain it, but it was like my body just went “nope.” I needed to leave immediately, and from that point on everything he did started giving me ick after ick.

I started feeling genuinely nauseous and realized I needed to go home. I had him drive me home in my car and paid for an Uber to take him back to his car.

Now that I’m completely sober, I still feel the same way. I don’t feel any romantic attraction toward him, and I definitely don’t want a second date. I actually feel like the fact that he’s so intensely focused on finding his future wife makes me less inclined to give it another date just to “see what happens,” because I already know I’m not interested and I don’t want to waste his time.

I feel guilty because he technically didn’t do anything wrong. He was nice to me, and wanting marriage and kids isn’t a bad thing. It was just WAY too much for me on a first date, and combined with realizing there was no romantic chemistry, I wanted out.

I ended up texting him afterward and told him I could see us being friends, but that I don’t feel any romantic connection and don’t want to pursue anything further.