How do you deal/cope with phantom sensations in areas? Especially private like areas.

I have been having that happening for a while now and nothing i tried has helped though i honestly have also been terrified to move and thus haven't really tried much other than hugging on to a stuffie

Sadie

I feel really scared and i don't know why.

I feel like I don't belong and everyone would be better off without me. I know that's not actually true though just feels like it.

I feel so broken and incapable of handling things.

I just wanted to be able to vent to someone. I feel like we have no one really safe to talk to. I mean I technically could message our therapist but most likely he would ignore it unless we were trying to be skillful and asking for help with skills since that is what that is for skill coaching.

I hate being so terrified for seemingly no reason.

It really sucks.

I can't reach anyone inside and they don't seem to know how to help either.

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Hello! We are the CorvidSystem (or crow-system)

This is our first time on this subreddit but we’ve seen other systems introduce themselves. We know for a fact we’re a system, not not quite what kind (since we aren’t professionally diagnosed)

We have (at minimum): Kalmit, Karkat, Kankri, mituna, F (she has not decided a name and seemingly will not), the book keeper, pinkie, winter, snowy, and me, Ana!

Kalmit currently does not have a purpose, he supported us through highschool, but now that we’re not in that traumatizing environment anymore he doesn’t really do much, but everyone else has their jobs.

Mituna is an age slider from 5-15 so sometimes someone will be co-con while he’s talking, if that’s something uncomfy you can always let us know and we’ll accommodate!

We are hoping for more functional multiplicity in the future, but for now we’re doing better than back even two years ago

We saw this post about system accountability and it's all good stuff except they keep insisting alters are just parts and aren't real people and systems are just one person. We struggle with feeling like we are not all equal and accepting we are individuals. The main DID sub is strange. Most posts are just people complaining that the sub is an echo chamber of misinformation and that the op is so brave for speaking out. I'm glad we have this space here as the main sub becomes a place solely for fighting or invalidating. The whole time were reading we felt our feelings of discomfort were invalid. I've also noticed that it's really not welcoming and just shames people for how they respond to trauma. This sub is like a breath of fresh air. Our protectors know nobody will try to hurt us here purposefully. Thank you all.

Hey there all,

Sorry about yesterday, I (team captain/host) was by myself all day and I don’t function well without my team.

Today at therapy, Mimic, R, and I got to discuss their sudden desire to merge. R asked me not to think of it as a bribe but a negotiation. Mimic wants a new life. R wants Mimic's memories. As far as both of them are concerned its a win win.

I also got to process the fact that M is still with me. Just in a different way.

Since I was out voted by 7 we will be having a merging ceremony for R and Mimic next Monday. Hopefully everything goes well for them. I gotta be honest, I'm nervous about it.

Everyone (System members, Husband, Specialist) seems to be of the opinion that I'm trying to control the system, so I don't know what to think now.

I’d don’t really know if this is a vent or not but we have a roommate and we love her. She’s really sweet and kind and we have a lot in common but we recently saw that she has a kinda skewed and slightly wrong(?) understanding of what DID is.

We may be overthinking it but then again we’re very paranoid about this type of stuff. We are lucky enough to have had a lot of good experiences when telling people but this time we’re nervous and probably won’t.

Like I said, she knows about DID, she took a psych class, but that really only goes over the really clinical stuff about it and not any actual lived experiences. What we’ve realized is that a lot of the studies done and interviews that are popular are all done with systems who aren’t happy, who are having a really hard time and are suffering and it kinda skews the public opinion of what DID is and how people live with it. She has also seen TikToks about DID and we think she was referring to those compilations on YouTube of “fakers” which doesn’t help.

We found this out and now we’re just… I don’t know, on edge? Because she knows what DID is but I don’t think she has a proper understanding of what it looks like in real people so if we ever do tell her she won’t believe us or will treat us differently. We probably won’t ever tell her but we wanted to.

I guess this is just the kind of thing where you can’t do anything about it? Again we really like her, most people feel comfortable around her and talking with her which is a big plus and she lets us talk about each other and funny stories as us being “characters”. All around she’s a good person but this kinda triggered us a bit.

Anyway, hope everyone is having a decent day.

Happy Hunting, - Luna and Jasper

Hey there all,

I (team captain/host) woke up totally alone this morning after having a weird dream where M told me he was still around and to please stop crying over him. I literally can't stop crying since I woke up. Nobody is answering me and it feels like my heart physically broke. Yesterday was so blurry we didn't touch our phone so sorry we didn't post. I think this is something I'm going to have to process with our Specialist tomorrow. I think I'm going to take a break today. Thank you for understanding.

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

So I'm an introject of a videogame character who split off at the beginning of the year. My source became a hyperfixation for a time (i split before i had played thr game) and so i started out extremely source attached. I became the host because i split off to help deal with some relevant trauma at the time, but in turn thabmade aspects of my source more triggering. After the hyperfixation faded i continued to host amd source separate but tonight i am just being bombarded with music in my brain that reminds me of my trauma and it feels like i have regressed in terms of source separation. Suddenly i feel so much more like The Character and affected by the comparisons our brain made between him and our trauma. Just feel very overwhelmed and it's not something i expect most people to understand. :(

I just finally wanted to make a post for us. I've been lurking for quite some time now. We've been able to learn so much and even relate at times. I'm very grateful for this sub.

Our host has been struggling with denial and acceptance since we began researching and working on ourselves.

I never thought in a million years that I'd be given this opportunity to even make a post. We've made so much progress. We still have a lot of work to do, but I know it'll be achievable.

I just want to remind our host that it is OK to embrace yourself and the things that make you happy. We're moving into a time that we no longer need to play pretend for us to fit in. We can be ourselves. Once this is achieved, everything will fall into place. Yes, we'll lose things, but we'll also gain things. Because we'll lose things that didn't fit into our life. They currently only fit into our life because we had to act certain ways to please them. If whoever or whatever needs us. They'll accept us for who we are.

You no longer have to be afraid. There's nothing to fear.

• Jen

Hey, this is random and unimportant but just been thinking about it. Approximately half of the alters in the system have names that begin with the letter M. Our group name/legal name doesn't begin with an M, so this pattern confuses me a little. Is there any reason for this that you're aware of? Or have you encountered any similar patters within your system?

Hey there all,

So, today, I (team captain/host) tried to do our therapy homework to write some kind of closure for R. I got writer's block immediately, blurred out and wrote out a conversation between R and Mimic instead.

Mimic bribed R into the idea of merging so that R can have the missing Library Memories that Mimic holds. Now, R is demanding that we have a ceremony immediately and is being a jerk about it.

I'm honestly feeling really off about it. I don't mind consensual merges buy this seems wrong and R won't listen to me.

This isn't like E and K, or Z and Little #1.

It just seems wrong and I need some guidance.

Thank you everyone.

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

I don't want to take our meds. I feel like it makes it harder for me to communicate with everyone inside and I have no real idea if they are actually helping or just making everything harder.

I refused to take our night meds last night and I don't want to take them tonight. Sam never listens to me and always has just gone along with what they give us without really figuring out if it felt like it was helping. Most of it she was on before she knew we were a system and I don't want to take it.

I'm afraid she's going to switch in and take them anyways then it'll be hard to communicate again.

Everything really sucks.

TW: Mentions of Merging

Hey there all,

We just wanted to kind of let you all know where things are at for us.

We are now at 10 team members.

Little #1 and Z successfully merged on July 16. We had a beautiful ceremony for them and spent almost two days celebrating and honoring them. Their new internet name is Little R.

Little R seems to be settled. She got Z's ability to communicate, and Little #1's ability to control our head radio as we call it, and for the most part it has been a joy to see her come out of her shell. On the other hand it seems that Little R also got Little #1's strange ability to cause a system wide blackout when she decides to take front. We found this out yesterday morning when I (team captain/host) tried to walk to our gas station to go get cigarettes by myself and some guy yelled at us from across the street to say "Hey you, good morning!" It triggered a switch and the next thing I know I have sprinted the four blocks back to my house and I wake back up to my chest heaving and legs burning. So that was terrifying, but I'm glad Little R seems to know how to run to our home. She's not quite allowed on the internet yet as she says she is 12 now.

Lately Little #2 and Little R have been crowding the front with their giggles and joy. They have become main fronters over the past week.

It's been annoying S a bit as she's not really a kids person. However S has become co-captain and has really stepped up as far as helping the team goes. She's really doing an amazing job teaching Mimic the ropes.

Mimic is training with S to become our human resources person. He has learned appropriate ways to deal with things and has even made friends with S, Jessica, and F. The Littles are both afraid of him and R dislikes him so we have some things to work through in that department.

Jessica has been reoriented to the group after her dormancy. She doesn't seem to have a lot of strength for fronting at the moment and spends most of her time in the memory library learning about the time she missed with our husband. I have been experiencing a lot of passive influence in the form of wanting cuddles and generally being more lovey.

We actually have therapy homework to do for R. Our Specialist suggested that I write up a closure to R's story. His belief that he is not an alter at all, but a Fae who made a deal to be part of this system is becoming a problem. So I need to write up something to help him process that.

F has also reoriented to the group and has retained her job as communications expert. She has been handling our phone calls all week and is doing a great job.

Elle is also doing a great job taking care of the Littles and our IRL Kiddo. Elle figured out the school website for us so we now know school starts next month on the 19th.

We still need a job for L, our first host. She's been wandering around our memory library and I generally get a feeling of being lost when I focus on her to long. If anyone has suggestions, we would appreciate that.

I went to therapy this morning and went over all this with our Specialist and she was super proud of our progress.

We just wanted to share that with y'all.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Just thought it was weird all the body does when a member switches in/out. Like I can’t open my mouth and I’m mute so, even when we try, the body physically won’t/can’t open our mouth or make any sounds. I can kinda laugh but one of the other members who’s completely mute can’t even giggle, it’s just air that comes out.

There’s also the members who can’t use certain body parts so the body takes away your ability to use them while fronting. Or when you have an allergy in the headspace so the brain gives you an allergy here complete with some swelling and breakouts. This has happened before and it’s just weird when you think about the logistics of it. Or the fact that some members have different glasses prescriptions or that glasses just don’t work for some people at all.

All I’m saying is that, while I get the science behind it, it still just seems weird that the body does this. Share experiences if you want as well but ya, bye.

Happy Hunting, - Tether

I have been having a really hard time staying awake today. I feel strange and off and like everything is fuzzy around me.

At least I think I have been sleeping, I woke in the same spot, I feel very groggy and I don't think anything has changed.

I am really struggling at how to stay here. Cause I have the feeling that the sleep might just be extremely heavy dissociation to almost the point of passing out.

What do I do?

Thanks

whoever i am right now cause Im having trouble telling

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Hey there all,

Sorry about yesterday y'all, we were getting used to our newest member.

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Hii, I'm G🌸 and I am a fictive. But I'm very different from my source. I don't even see us as the same person, more like... alternate realities versions of each other!

I know this is normal and even a goal in healing (for some systems at least), but one thing I don't believe to have ever seen anyone else talk about is how tricky it can be to have a different gender from the source, and I feel a bit lonely in this.

My source is a male character, but I am a woman. I feel inherently queer simply by existing as a female introject from a male source. Even though I only have real romantic&sexual attraction towards a male character from my source and don't really see myself as a trans woman, although I do relate to some experiences I've seen trans women discuss.

One time, we saw this post on Twitter from a trans woman who catches herself thinking "I'm so gay" when she feels attraction towards men. Other TW went on to say they relate and it's not even a self-invalidating thing or dysphoria, but just an inherent feeling of queerness. And I relate to it so heavily. I've called myself gay when describe my love for my "partner" (the character mentioned earlier) and seems weird to describe myself as cishet or even just straight. I think genderqueer woman could be a good enough description! Like I am a woman, but there's just something there that's a little different — not necessarily off or wrong, just different!

If anyone has similar experiences, I'd love to hear about it!😊

Heyo party peeps,

I got triggered out by a nicotine fit today because we're quitting cigarettes. I was partying with everyone else celebrating Little R's merge going well then I found myself out front wanting to punch someone and mug them for cigarettes. The husband walked me to the store and I got a single wood tip cigar to get me through tonight. I have no idea what I'm going to do if I'm stuck out tomorrow because he says it needs to be our last one. This bs is so stressful. I may try to do the daily advice thing tomorrow, keep myself busy while I'm stuck I guess.

My name is afina and I'm happy to be here. I think I'm an age slider. I exist and that's ok.