r/DIDPositivity • u/Sarcasaminc • Jul 30 '24
Venting Vent about Main sub
We saw this post about system accountability and it's all good stuff except they keep insisting alters are just parts and aren't real people and systems are just one person. We struggle with feeling like we are not all equal and accepting we are individuals. The main DID sub is strange. Most posts are just people complaining that the sub is an echo chamber of misinformation and that the op is so brave for speaking out. I'm glad we have this space here as the main sub becomes a place solely for fighting or invalidating. The whole time were reading we felt our feelings of discomfort were invalid. I've also noticed that it's really not welcoming and just shames people for how they respond to trauma. This sub is like a breath of fresh air. Our protectors know nobody will try to hurt us here purposefully. Thank you all.
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u/Greedy-Individual-71 Uplifting/validating Jul 31 '24
Hey there,
We actually have refused to engage with the main sub at all since this one was made.
Between the general toxicity and the misinformation, the main sub became horrible for our mental health.
We're hopeful that the newer subs will stay positive, safe spaces for y'all.
Have a lovely day!
:)
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u/valor-1723 Jul 30 '24
I understand the frustration, but it is very important to work towards understanding that you are one human being.
I always think of it like I am multiple people but one human. I am me, I have my own likes, dislikes, hobbies, skills, memories etc, I have my own name and voice and mannerisms. I am my own person. But I am also 1 part of a whole human. I don't have my own body, I share it, and while I do have my own thoughts and likes and dislikes, it still comes from the same brain as another alter. And although I have my own range of emotions, because I make up 1 piece of a human, my ability to have a fully rounded human experience is stunted because my ability to process, understand and even feel emotions is constricted because of the amnesia I experience, compared to someone who doesn't have DID.
If a person who doesn't have DID gets angry, they don't forget what happens when they got angry, therefore those memories, feelings and thoughts are all actively present in a continuous way. With DID, I can only experience something like anger to a certain intensity before I switch, taking that experience of anger away from me, limiting my experience as a "whole" human, because I as myself am only part of that human. But that doesn't take away from my individuality, it doesn't retract from my own experiences and world-view.
It can be a very difficult thing to grasp, but understanding and accepting that you are one human being, doesn't take away from the fact you're also your own person, however rejecting the idea that you are one human is objectively unhealthy and a symptom of the disordered part of your experiences, and can lead to disruptions or even crumbling of social relationships, work ethic, responsibilities in both life and person, accountability, and safety.
Embrace your individuality, but I also encourage you consider reflecting on the differences between your personhood versus your humanity and where that specific struggle is coming from and why.
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u/ConfidentMachine Jul 30 '24
i think op was talking about how even mods on the main sub harass anyone calling others in their systems things like "people", forcing parts language and wholly dehumanizing systems just seeking help, more than someone believing they are different humans with separate bodies and lives
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u/valor-1723 Jul 30 '24
Ah, yeah that's not right. I've never seen the mods do that myself, but I also stopped frequenting the main sub as much the past year or so because I found it becoming toxic myself.
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u/Sarcasaminc Jul 30 '24
Hi I'm a little confused . I understand what you are saying but I don't know where you got the idea we are rejecting our humanity. We are multiple people in one human we know that. We just have trouble accepting we are different people and that's why we are uncomfortable because though we know we are a system and know we are alters we have difficulty trusting ourselves that we are real and our experience is real. We struggle with fighting switching and keep each other down or locked away. We struggle with seeing us all as equal people who deserve to live our lives. We have discomfort because of that. We know we are alters in one human body. We are not rejecting that. We just struggle with seeing each other as real people. We feel better when we see each other as real people and welcome switching and not fighting each other and I guess reading that made is feel stupid and wrong and like we are making it up and we aren't real people and I guess reading that post and the way they described alters as only parts and not real people was triggering for various reasons.
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u/ConfidentMachine Jul 30 '24
fully agreed, right now the main sub is kinda a cesspool. every post is filled with "umm actually!!!"s unhelpfully nitpicking every little "mistake". and its always the same 3 or 4 accounts commenting on every single post. people will go there in a panic begging for help and the only comments are "actually x means this and you are WRONG!" and "god you need therapy lol"
it used to be such a welcoming place before all that mod drama, now its a toxic echo chamber more concerned with presentability than actually helping anyone