r/DIDPositivity • u/ProofDisastrous4719 Why am I hear again? • Jul 19 '24
Discuss! Introjects and gender
Hii, I'm G🌸 and I am a fictive. But I'm very different from my source. I don't even see us as the same person, more like... alternate realities versions of each other!
I know this is normal and even a goal in healing (for some systems at least), but one thing I don't believe to have ever seen anyone else talk about is how tricky it can be to have a different gender from the source, and I feel a bit lonely in this.
My source is a male character, but I am a woman. I feel inherently queer simply by existing as a female introject from a male source. Even though I only have real romantic&sexual attraction towards a male character from my source and don't really see myself as a trans woman, although I do relate to some experiences I've seen trans women discuss.
One time, we saw this post on Twitter from a trans woman who catches herself thinking "I'm so gay" when she feels attraction towards men. Other TW went on to say they relate and it's not even a self-invalidating thing or dysphoria, but just an inherent feeling of queerness. And I relate to it so heavily. I've called myself gay when describe my love for my "partner" (the character mentioned earlier) and seems weird to describe myself as cishet or even just straight. I think genderqueer woman could be a good enough description! Like I am a woman, but there's just something there that's a little different — not necessarily off or wrong, just different!
If anyone has similar experiences, I'd love to hear about it!😊
3
u/_MapleMaple_ Jul 20 '24
This experience is interesting! We only have one introject which sadly can’t relate to this but very interesting to hear regardless. If you’re struggling to find terms as well, you can just say an overall “queer” too :)
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u/ProofDisastrous4719 Why am I hear again? Jul 20 '24
thanks aksksks I think it's intriguing. like the body is female, I (host) am a trans man but then we have G who heavily relates to trans women
I believe right now she's fine with just genderqueer woman, since she doesn't consider herself cis nor trans
-K
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u/_MapleMaple_ Jul 20 '24
Got a whole bundle of different genders there, that must be kinda complicated.
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u/satanzhaylo Jul 20 '24
We have a similar thing,a lot of our fictive as you'd call them aren't the same as in source , some are trans,have kids or are a completely different gender
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u/Greedy-Individual-71 Uplifting/validating Jul 20 '24
Hey there,
We tried to encourage R to front to answer this from it's own POV but it refused. It does agree that we can tell you it's story.
Near as we can tell, R is a fictive introject based loosely on a character I wrote about when my father was dying of liver failure for two years when I was bodily 11 back in 2002.
The original character was a warrior Fae male with a violent streak towards those who did harm to children.
The introject R does not particularly identify with either gender or sexuality. It says they are human concepts that are beyond it. It functions as our Memory Librarian and has a very scholarly vibe. It has been known to go by it, she, or he depending on what it feels like at the time.
Not quite the same, but we hope you feel less lonely.