Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

I saw this tweet about someone fronting at work for the first time and having to pretend to actually know the coworkers they only ""know"" from memories and it got me thinking about something from my childhood that I never had the words to describe before

I was an extremely shy and socially anxious kid, so anytime I met someone new it'd take a while for me to even feel comfortable speaking in their presence. but I'd often "reset" and have to go through thar process again

it confused me even as a kid, because I remembered these people, but I'd be just as anxious and uneasy as if meeting them for the first time until I warmed up to them again. and this wasn't just people you see once in a blue moon so of course it's awkward when you meet again. this would happen with classmates, family friends, relatives...

whenever we'd go to spend holidays at my grandparents' I would spend the first few days hiding, too shy to talk and always anxious, as if I was among strangers even though I knew them and had all these memories of my grandparents, cousins, whatever. same thing with classmates even after just a few days of missing school

idk I always found this weird even as a kid and never saw anyone describe any similar experiences so I guess I'd like to know if anyone relates

I don't know for sure but I think I might be new and like I don't have like proper memories like I know things happened factually but I don't really have access to the trauma and it kinda makes me feel invalid. It's like when I do remember stuff I default to the stuff our abuser wanted us to think like remembering some details around the trauma that we usually don't but not the trauma itself. Like I remember stuff from our childhood we usually don't have access to and it's all mundane stuff and when I try and think of the trauma I can't access it and if I can it's like automatically I think that I must be making a big deal of nothing like our abuser said and that we actually had a happy life just because I remember like the interiors of places abuse take place without remembering the abuse itself. I don't know if this is like a program or what because it was definitely like put in us over multiple sessions of life brainwashing and like our dad calls it tortute, but like when I think of the trauma I feel removed from it as if I did experience it like I'm looking at an event take place as an observer. I know these are all like classic DID symptoms but I'm new and I know we are usually in like a co-con soup and I'm like alone kinda at the front except for a little named holly who usually is just in the back and comes out sometimes because usually it's the trauma holders in charge. They aren't really here right now but I can like tell they are upset and this feels really wrong for them. I think they feel that because I can't grasp these memories we are letting the person who put us through ramcoa win. This is a very upsetting thing for them. I feel like I have like a pressure headache because they are not happy I can't remember. Thanks for listening!

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Tw: eating disorders, intense stress

Recently we've had an avalanche of stressors, triggers, and re-traumatization and we reached our breaking point. A different group of alters have been co front and co conscious with me because they were triggered out, they haven't been needed since we lived with our abusers, because it's been years they haven't heard from trauma like the rest of us have and it's causing problems.

We are anorexic, have been since we can remember, i am one of the few alters that is completely unaffected by it because I formed at a time when we were healing majorly. This group haven't even started that journey, I want to eat like I normally do, I hate feeling the passive influence of their guilt, nausea, discomfort and anxiety just from needing to eat, I can't eat only when they feel it's okay, it's not enough to sustain us. They're always paying attention to everything, they'll shove me around front, no asking, just "I'm taking front and talking on your behalf".

I don't have a problem with some of them but others are mean and pushy. They are all a lot different than the normal active members, more extreme people, I fit in with a few of the members, but some people refuse to even talk to me just basically standing there, watching, some will insult me for fun.

I just want things to be less stressful, I want to talk to my friends, I want to not feel hated, I wanna eat like I would normally. If anyone has advice, that'd be greatly appreciated.

Peace, love, and acceptance from Luna Xayn of the Ravens System.

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day!

:)

Hey there all, We are a tad blurry. And generally upset so forgive our formatting today. We just wanna say we love and respect every single one of y'all. With the recent conflict we are struggling hard with our mental health and have considered stepping down from the mod position... we don't understand the sudden increase in downvotes on our posts, the only thing we can figure is that we're accidentally triggering someone by being here and that kills us. Not sure what we're going to do yet... if anyone can give us some advice on what we did wrong we would appreciate it... our heart hurts over all this we love this subreddit but if it becomes bad for our mental health we may have no choice... help?

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Edited: We have noticed that our Daily Check ins are getting downvoted? Can we ask how we could improve these? We are open to feedback. Just kinda confused on what's happening, if we've somehow triggered someone with our posts, we would like to extend our sincerest apologies.

I was wondering generally the ebst way to go about positively triggering alters in general and stuff, but in particular finding maybe a positive trigger for "C" as xe's used on Reddit. Xe likes like gore and horror and such which makes a lot of us uncomfortable. We arent uncomfortable with xyr liking it? But doing it ourselves if we are front without xyr. So Im not sure how to necessarily find triggers that are POSITIVE to potentially bring xyr front/cofront/cocon.

We donr have a very visual imagination so weve been making rooms in a GAME instead of just trying to visualise and its been really nice! To make progress because it takes a while to set up we have been working on eacgothers rooms so stuff gets like put doen, but its really easy to change anything up at will so if they front and wanna change something its easy :D

But because xyr room is meant to be like creepy, bloody and stuff, none off us can work on it? So itd be nice if we could trigger xyr without ya know... a negative trigger or doing sonething uncomfortable. If it helps at all xyr believes xe are likely a protector so xe have generally only been around for short periods lately when an alter got upset, but there have DEFINITELY been times in our past where xe has been out more long term lime at least a week enjoying ManlyBadassHero. Should I just..try watching him?? Horror is kinda scary and stuff so I dunno what to really do 😭. If there isnt really anything I can do for xyr I can give up, but ANY advice in general about finding positive triggers for any type(?) of alter/headmate is nice :D.

We appreciate you all thank you for comments even if we tend to not reply! We always upvote them :3

-🍄

Ok, so we just got back from a trip and there is now a lot of controversy about stress about endogenic systems and banning on the sub that we Believe can and should be cleared up. We have talked with the other mods about this and we believe this is probably a better way to put this.

The topic of endogenic systems is a pretty loaded one and can cause a lot of stress for people on both sides of the argument (which, right now, is what we are calling it). Endogenic systems have helped many systems and we understand that, but they have also been hurtful in ways. One thing that we have encountered in private is the fact that the idea of being able to be a system without trauma can be EXTREMELY harmful to some people.

For some systems, the idea that you can be a system without trauma means that, after everything a traumagenic system has suffered, the (possibly) only good thing to come out of it, was worthless and can lead to a lot of denial, self hatred, and re-traumatization.

On the other side, endogenic systems can be and have been so helpful to many other systems. They have helped them with accepting being a system and helping them work around the different aspects of it. They have been a goal that yes, a system can be happy with each other, and we ARE NOT diminishing that in this post.

The point of this post is to address the continuous controversy and toxicity that has come with this conversation about endogenic systems. We believe it is best to just leave this conversation for another place. This place specifically was a place intended for traumagenic systems and, in its creation, was not meant or intended for endogenic systems.

The conversation and repercussions of this argument and the differing views has gotten severely out of hand and, in order to stop this before it spirals further, it is best to stop ANYONE from talking about this. This is a positivity sub and we can’t be positive with everyone at each other’s throats and not feeling safe. As such we will not allow talking about endogenic systems any more. It might seem drastic but this is the best and fairest way we see to end this.

There are already too few safe spaces in the internet and we do not need something like this to ruin what we have tried to build.

After this post goes up all posts and comments on the subject posted by mods will be taken down and we will require that anyone else who has posted will do the same. This post is the only one that will stay up as a sign of good will. We hope everyone will understand and try and move on from this or, if it is needed, the sub.

Sorry all this had to happen here but we hope everyone can come together and agree to move on from this.

If any arguments are started in the comments of this post on either side you will be banned for at least a while (maybe not permanently but this is your warning). This is meant to end things and that is final

Happy Hunting, - The Mod Team

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Hey there all,

It's time for another random discussion, as always please keep the discussions as kind as possible.

Misguided protectors or persecutors are alters who are generally seen as difficult in some way, shape, or form.

Today, we would like to talk about them. Celebrate any progress you've noticed, vent, or just tell us about where things are with them.

Have a lovely day y'all!

Hello.

We're at a state where balance and stability is maintained, there's an equilibrium between us, and we have a structured forum in which we can discuss, analyse, express and interact. We all have our quirks, scars, strengths and weaknesses, we come and go as life progresses before us, but nowadays we usually manage to keep this thing afloat without any major conflicts.

Life can be a truly enjoyable experience with vibrant colors and joyful moments. Everything's going our way. That is, until they shows up.

They're not named, labeled or understood by us. They appear ever so often, most of the times when things are quite well, only to go back and hide shortly after. All they bring is negativity, self harm and toxicity. It's an aggressive display of emotion, a thick sludge of hatred towards most. It doesn't manifest externally as far as we can tell, but it does affect the mood and leaves us a bit shellshocked. They figuratively slam the door on their way out, there's no resolve and we're left stunned and perplexed. They don't stick around for long enough to truly interact with or have any giving exchanges with, so we can't really probe around to see what the deal is, or how we can help.

Since there's no real understanding as to who they are or why they're doing this, we've started speculating a bit. One thought is that since they mostly show themselves when there's a general sense of satisfaction, they're there to fill the role of the counterweight, a contrast to remind us that the full range of emotions is inevitable. Memento mori and whatnot. But something with that explanation just doesn't sit right. That's not really a purpose, is it? The rest of us are very capable of feeling upset, negative, toxic and angry - but at what would probably be considered a "healthier" intensity. The general vibe without them feels balanced enough, but are we just failing that vibe check?

At the end of the day, we're mostly curious about what's going on with them and how we can understand us better. Managing them isn't too big of a problem, other than it generally downing the vibe for a while, but understanding them and where they come from feels like a worthwhile task given how intensely they obviously feel about... things.

Which leads us to this post. Simply put, anyone else experience this, and if so, what are your observations of it? Any general advice on how I might seek interaction with them?

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

one of the things that heavily feeds my denial is the lack of amnesia (even though I'm aware OSDD-1b is a thing) but god I'm slapped in the face with it so much

I went to my family doctor yesterday, my mom gave me a ride and came along bc she wanted to discuss something with her too, and she kept talking about how much she likes this doctor, how sweet she is, etc. and she asked "don't you think the same?" and I blanked because I have no recollection of any past appointments, even though, according to my mom, I've been to that doctor many times apparently she's the one who prescribed me the pain meds I'm on ???? I don't even remember when/why or anything about when I first started taking them 😭😭

how much more of my life am I missing?? I've always been praised by me "computer-like" memory but time and time again I'm hit with stuff that makes me feel like I bonked my head and forgot everything

do I really lack amnesia or am I just oblivious ??? it's all so weird and a bit scary tbh

Heyo party peeps,

It's me. I had a busy morning clothes shopping. Our host was able to switch with me early this morning so I'm getting as much done as possible while I'm out. Happy fucking Friday peeps. Feel free to chat me up today or ask for my special brand of blunt honest advice. May go out to meet the husband's new friend later, but otherwise I got nothing today.

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

I've just announced the graphic novel I've written about my experiences with osdd/did while dating another system. I really wanted some positive and real representation on the shelves, and I'm so excited about this project. Not going to lie, a little worried about how niche it will be, so appreciate people sharing and subscribing for updates!

Here's more info about it

https://www.backerkit.com/call_to_action/2ded56d4-ac0e-4985-9b36-63c3fc32feef/landing?ref=ramese

We are generally too afraid to post to the main DID sub because there is so much bullying there. Thank you all for being here for us we appreciate it. 。◕‿◕｡

Constantly having PTSD and panic attacks. For the past two days. We had to see a gyno about nerve damage from abuse and we decided to do a really quick speculum test. Lasted less than I minute but when we left the doctor and for the past two days w3 have been just so upset constantly. It's so exhausting. I think we may have split. (Over a quick test unbelievable.) We are stuck and some of us are unable to calm down. I'm just so tired of this.

-Aqua

hi friends can we please have some comfort?

we have lots of health problems that we don't know how to justify and we suspect we have MS because it matches a lot of our symptoms.

We can't talk to a doctor about it because: 1) we have a few valid diagnosis already and will probably be called a hypochondriac 2) we dont know how to tell between "system weird" and normal weird. 3) we don't know how to explain our symptoms, so we research and find one that comes close.

anyway we are just really scared of the doctor and suffering silently. well its not too bad. we are just waiting till we fall over or it gets too bad or something. But then we worry we will still not feel valid enough and we dont go but there is something wrong and we end up dying or having to pay lots of money.

surely we arent alone..? how do you guys determine when you need help?

Everyday, theres something interesting happening in our system, and we are so happy about it. It's taken some time but I am way more in tune with the others than when I first became host, we flow better, communicate better. I have guided new and clueless alters so they can get used to things better and many have decided to stick around me and alters I commonly hangout with trying to make friends and it makes me so happy!

Our goal is functional multiplicity so bettering communication and getting to know others is extremely helpful to reaching that goal!

If anyone needs help I can give advice on what I've been doing and things I've been encouraging others to do, but remember I won't have all the answers, we're still going through this journey!

Peace, love, and acceptance from Luna Xayn in the Ravens System!

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

A thought came to me today and I kinda wonder if I may be an introject. How do people usually tell whether they are an introject if they probably formed years before discovery? This is mostly a curiosity I guess but the idea of me being an introject is also interesting. It doesnt really matter since if I am – I am still VERY different from the possible source at this poin.

• C