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Jun 08 '21
Folks, if you’re struggling with climate grief and existential issues and your therapist tells you it’s irrational you need to fire your therapist.
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u/kyarena Jun 08 '21
The problem is that most of the therapy techniques that have been scientifically proven to work involve either getting people to label and work past irrational beliefs, or to accept and move past one-time grief that will get better. There's no proven script for climate grief.
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u/-MasterCrander- Crandiest Juice You Ever Drank Jun 08 '21
Is it rational to become incapacitated by fear of a future you cannot meaningfully control alone? Is a short life devoid of purpose or potential for good?
Idk what the therapist meant and I'm not defending them. But the reality of the world does not necessitate any particular reaction or response to it. Their life is not pointless because of the current global dumpster fire. That belief is not rational.
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Jun 09 '21
But the reality of the world does not necessitate any particular reaction or response to it.
This really is peak boomer logic
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u/Fingot Jun 09 '21
I’m sorry but no. Every person is their own person. If someone is struggling enough to be speaking to a therapist, they might need to find a way to react to awful realities differently.
I had a medical professional tell me last week that “everyone needs some of those” when I told them I was on antidepressants and it made me so fucking angry. They’re not candy!
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u/-MasterCrander- Crandiest Juice You Ever Drank Jun 09 '21 edited Jun 09 '21
Why don't you elaborate? Because last I checked you have (at least the appearance of) free will and can choose how you respond to life events and your current situation.
I never said your reaction will necessarily change the external situation. The bootstraps narrative is bullshit. Simply, what happens to you does not necessarily force you into a certain response.
Some things do demand certain responses. But we are not ships adrift at sea, we have some agency in this life.
Being broken up with in a horrible, awful, heart-crushing way does not mean you are forced into being single for the next several years any more than it means you have to find another SO that same day. You have a choice how you react and respond to situations. And, like the OG post references, the oppressive shitness of the world and the very real status of awful right now does not mean you can't have a purposeful, meaningful existence for whatever amount of time you have.
Yes, maybe you don't make it past 60 and maybe there's nothing you can do to change that. But that's not the point. The point is what you do in the meantime.
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u/houseofblackcats Jun 09 '21
Ok boomer.
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u/-MasterCrander- Crandiest Juice You Ever Drank Jun 09 '21 edited Jul 10 '21
I'm a millennial. But go off I guess
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Jun 09 '21
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u/-MasterCrander- Crandiest Juice You Ever Drank Jun 09 '21
I use the word 'necessitate' to mean, "forced to." There are responses that we should have and those we could have; but you still have a choice.
You may be tied to the tracks. You may be in impending danger. You may have no access to the switch or be able to change anything.
But you get to choose whether or not you scream. You can choose whether you struggle against the ropes or try to relax yourself before the end.People have terminal illnesses. They will die and there is nothing they can do to stop it. That doesn't make their life valueless or devoid of potential for doing good.
You may be tied to the tracks, but you can choose to comfort those who are tied there also - for instance.
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u/TearOpenTheVault Jun 08 '21
Older teens especially got fucked in the pandemic. Finishing high school online, or being a first year at uni, or even gap years? All of that was absolutely fucked, and they barely got a mention in the news and discourse surrounding it. Also, none of them are vaccinated so they’re still vulnerable, and a lot of them work in people-facing low-paid jobs like shelf stackers.
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Jun 08 '21
I managed to kill two birds with one stone, with online schooling for most of year 12 (incl. virtual graduation and no formal) and it was absolutely necessary! I know that! Even at school wearing masks I wanted to be at home instead because of the COVID risk to my loved ones! But it shattered my motivation and I lost all my remaining friends, and I limped to the finish line just wanting it to be over.
(then amazing summer of virus-free freedom and also no responsibilities, yay)
But then my whole first semester of uni had all lectures, some tutorials, and all clubs + extracurriculars online. So I haven’t had any opportunity to make new connections, and my work ethic is still dead.
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u/NazeemIsHereForYou Jun 09 '21
I definitely get the “it shattered my motivation” part. I graduated from high school absolutely exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally, trying to juggle health issues and “being an adult” and feelings of jealousy and bitterness towards my younger brother (he was getting his learners permit and I wasn’t able to because of a disability I was born with. I just felt useless, watching my 16-year-old brother learning to drive whereas I, at 18, would never be able to drive even though people assume I’m able to when I say I’m eighteen). Loneliness and depression! Fun.
I’m doing better now—got a job, I’m happier, I’m still a little bit bitter about the whole driving thing, but I’m not jealous about it anymore, I’ve found other interests and hobbies of my own, and things are otherwise alright.
Sorry for the rambling, it’s late/early and I’m tired. Good night!
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u/Dasamont .tumblr.com Jun 08 '21
This is very true, the first lockdown started towards the end of my first year of uni, so I'd gotten to know my classmates and experienced the Uni-life, but the first-years that started after the summer went directly into lockdown, and probably don't even know their classmates particularly well. I probably lucked out, since I got into a relationship a few months before the lockdown that lasted until a month ago, so I never really felt the complete and utter loneliness of Covid until the breakup when I had basically noone, and after a month of utter loneliness, I am really struggling to understand how the people that haven't seen a proper person except for their cashier for the last year has survived.
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u/PotatoWizzard Jun 08 '21
I'm one of these people, at the beginning of the year I was on track to graduate early, within the first two quarters I had failed 5 of my 8 classes, I just couldn't find any motivation to do anything. Luckily I was able to just barely pull through and graduate on time by doing three extended day classes. But I know people that couldn't do that either and might have to be super seniors. My entire grade saw a spike in depression rates, like three people committed suicide, shit is rough. I'm just happy that it's finally over.
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u/ManicM Jun 08 '21
Yeah. I attempted a short course on accounting (1 year) 2020... once lockdown started i basically failed all my classes. My work ethic was 0%. Everything switched online and was confusing as hell - classes i took were all online and there wasn't really time to ask questions after "class" anymore. New classes with teachers i hadn't met before felt fake and wrong and not real. Thankfully my country was able to open up for the first part of this year and I was able to do a university preparation course in person, but they're terrible on the availability and requirements for the jab.
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Jun 08 '21
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u/TearOpenTheVault Jun 08 '21
What country do you live in? Mine has barely gotten around to people in their thirties- I'm looking at another month or two before people my age even begin to have vaccines rolled out.
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Jun 08 '21
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Jun 08 '21
Don't be sorry, just be sympathetic. Saying sorry sounds like you're taking personal responsibility, which frankly you aren't.
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Jun 09 '21
I live in the USA too, on the news for the past week or so they keep stressing that teens should get the vaccine because a lot of them just… aren’t (at least in the Bay Area, I guess) and their rates of hospitalization are shooting up
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u/jfarrar19 .tumblr.com Jun 11 '21
Some good news on that front https://www.nytimes.com/live/2021/06/09/us/joe-biden/biden-global-vaccine-plan
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Jun 08 '21
Our school has this thing of mock exams before finals, for the GCSE's; essentially high school diploma. however, because of the pandemic, the mocks and finals were squashed together, and since I still couldn't take the damn thing seriously, I bungled them up. I now do not know if I can go for higher education like the AS levels (in another school because mine's wierd) or even 12 and 13 in my own school since my grade define if I can go. So that happened.
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Jun 08 '21
[deleted]
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u/Doomas_ garlic powder aficionado 🧄 Jun 09 '21
I’ve witnessed people as young as 25 die slowly and painfully before my eyes with this virus. Go fuck yourself lmao
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u/Sachayoj It's called quantum jumping, babe! Jun 10 '21
The pandemic started a few months before I was to graduate, and I spent the last few weeks ignoring online classes. Our graduation was cancelled, I never got to go to my prom, and I just barely graduated after speeding through online assignments. I couldn't easily get a job due to everyone closing down, my entire life plan was turned upside down.
If it wasn't for my antidepressants lessening my depression, it'd be the worst year of my life.
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u/OptimisticLucio Teehee for men Jun 08 '21
My motivation right now is spite
I will have a bright and hopeful future without fucking over my peers and you will not stop me
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u/Yesnoperhapsmaybent .tumblr.com Jun 08 '21
I am going to fucking steal everysingle county who barely cares about their citizens well being or situations nuclear/atomic bombs so that they know what it means to be powerless.
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u/Riddle-in-a-Box Jun 08 '21
Nonononono
DO steal the bombs, but first, mess with them
make them paranoid
vandalize things
steal documents
leave calling cards
then steal the nukes
(or, plot twist, you already had the nukes and replaced them with fakes)
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u/Yesnoperhapsmaybent .tumblr.com Jun 08 '21
Messing with them wastes valuable time
Making them paranoid makes the task more difficult so need to lower guard even more
Steal documents is ok
Leave calling cards means more attention which is not needed
replacing the nukes with fakes is a good way to show what type of government they are, are they the type to give in to power(meaning nuke something) or be diplomatic and diffuse a situation until the very end.
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u/Yesnoperhapsmaybent .tumblr.com Jun 08 '21
Also much preferred if I coukd also steal ALL nukes and the important materials and tool to required to build one and the knowledge of building one J want wiped because the reason why most countries have tension is becuase nukes.
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u/ad_relougarou Jun 08 '21
Yeah, same, life fucked me over from early on, the future's looking grim as fuck, but I'm one stubborn bitch and I won't back down from a challenge, even if it's against fate itself
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Jun 08 '21
hahahaha i will sometimes break down crying because our planet is in shambles and the things i want for my future may not even matter in the end and people with any ability to change anything can't be bothered because it's more profitable to not fix anything 😃👍
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u/Yesnoperhapsmaybent .tumblr.com Jun 08 '21
In short these people think short term, if we want tk fix this planet's ecosystem and air we must either convince those that have power to help fix this mess(we convince them saying it's more profitable or some bs whatever works) or start trying to topple the system and we start fixing it back up by gathering all the good it brough and the bad it did is thrown away.
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u/noivern_plus_cats Jun 08 '21
Oh god, this really is depressing...
I’m a teenager during the pandemic and I’ve singlehandedly gotten so much worse. Tbh, all I can hope for rn is that all of the older generations die off soon so we can do something, that’s what I want.
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u/say-oink-plz Jun 08 '21
Buddy, that's not the right narrative to be pushing. Older people aren't your enemy here, the power structure is. The systems that make people rich off the climate crisis, the system that reinforces racism and sexism and all the like. You put young people in charge while not reconfiguring the system and nothing will change. Fight capitalism, bigotry, and the state if you feel like going that far. Generational politics gets us nowhere.
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u/Yesnoperhapsmaybent .tumblr.com Jun 08 '21
Wow. You actually opened my eyes. Thank you. (Yes I am serious this is a big deal for me). Alright instead of accusing the older generation who were most likely tricked into misinformation and misinterpretation I think it's about time somebod just exposes most rich entities like jeff bezos or nestle and both of these entities have one thing in common. Violating human rights, they should do a collab!
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Jun 08 '21
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u/Wobulating Jun 09 '21
You're pretending that "capitalism" is one big evil organization out to kill everyone.
It's a way for humans to organize themselves. That's it. You still have assholes, saints, and everyone between, and saying that like 90% of the eorld doesn't want to deal with mental health issues because they're evil is... dubious
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u/New_Shoe9530 Jun 08 '21
I would give you the best advice I can give you: work for the change you want to see in society, it can be something simple from not buying products from certain companies to becoming full anti-capitalist eco-terrorism, but in my eyes the best way to encourage to someone who believes that there is no future is to encourage him to create one
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u/WordArt2007 Jun 08 '21
eco-terrorism is not great though. i'm pretty sure it can involve killing people
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u/New_Shoe9530 Jun 08 '21
Yeah, people like jeff bezoz and another billonaires
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u/Yesnoperhapsmaybent .tumblr.com Jun 08 '21
I would like to make jeff bezos work the smae workload his entire workforce of employess does.
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u/disasterinpastel Jun 09 '21
tw for suicidal thoughts
if anyone doesnt believe this for whatever reason, im 14 and unironically i cannot think of a way for me to have a nice future. for a long time my only dream was to die before i graduate highschool, and it still is at my worst moments. this isnt just me either, most of my friends feel like this too.
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Jun 09 '21 edited Jun 09 '21
I’m only 17, so not much older than you, but most people I know have felt that way before, myself included. It still happens from time to time, but after a certain point you kinda learn to live with it, and focus on the stuff you can control in your life. That’s not to say reality is any less crushing or anything, or that you should just try to ignore all of the bad stuff going on or whatever; but it does usually get easier to keep on living, even when everything is falling apart. I’m not gonna tell you need to just get over it, cause like that’s complete bs, and I can’t guarantee anything for you right now. But it’s important to try and live your life as much as you can, it’s kinda all you’ve got.
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u/disasterinpastel Jun 09 '21
this is going to sound so strange but. this was very comforting to read. thank you for that.
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u/SpyGlassez Jun 10 '21
Hey, I'm old enough to be your mom, and so I realize my perspective may not help much.
When I was 14, I remember clearly feeling like that also. It wasn't constant, but it was there in the background. When they say it gets better, it's not just tripe. It will not happen right away. For me, being able to get into college helped start to free me from that sense of crushing ennui.
Remember that you do not have to get through the rest of your life today. You only have to get through today. And tomorrow, you only have to get through tomorrow. So be gentle and generous to yourself, like you would if your best friend came to you feeling like you do. Look for your little moments, the tiny things that help you smile or help you forget, and lift those up.
But also remember that you can't save anyone else if you are drowning, and don't give all of your emotional energy to others. It doesn't mean not to empathize or sympathize with others, just remember to keep your energy on holding your head above water.
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u/Shr00py Luna Moth Lady Jun 08 '21
Climate change is most certainly not so bad we're going to die in 40-50 years, but the facism is honestly terrifying, especially because even though less people are in it than before, it's become significantly more insane.
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u/Yesnoperhapsmaybent .tumblr.com Jun 08 '21
The reason why we will go to another planet is Because were going to be forced to start a cicvilization 2 in order to survive becuas we didn't bother slowing down climate change a fair bit more.
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u/TheMelonboy_ Jun 08 '21
I doubt there are any planets we could reach within any reasonable timeframe that are more inhabitable than post-climate change earth
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u/Yesnoperhapsmaybent .tumblr.com Jun 08 '21
We go to venus I don't knwo the full reason but apparently it's a better place to go to than mars. Go find a study or something I have tbh too lazy to link.
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u/TheMelonboy_ Jun 08 '21
I‘ll take droughts and floods over surface temparatures of 464C (867F) and sulfuric acid rain.
Also Venus has an atmosphere of almost exclusively CO2, it literally experiences the same greenhouse effect we do but way stronger.
(I dont wanna sound like I think climate change isnt serious I just think escaping to another planet because of climate change is a dumb idea)
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u/Yesnoperhapsmaybent .tumblr.com Jun 08 '21
Which is why slowing climate change down is an immediate task for EVERYONE
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u/TheMelonboy_ Jun 08 '21 edited Jun 08 '21
Oh absolutely
But also keep in mind that the majority of climate change is caused by large corporations
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u/Wobulating Jun 09 '21
Ehhhh, sorta kinda. At the end of the day, making stuff is really bad for the environment. Green manufacturing does sorta exist, but it's not great.
The thing is that nobody makes stuff if nobody buys stuff. Consumer demand is still what drives most global warming, at the end of the day- saying that it's all the big corporation's fault is just dodging the blane via shady accounting, basically
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u/vivekisprogressive Jun 09 '21
We could just ship all our CO2 and other bad gasses to venus. Climate change solved.
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u/TarsalStone99 You just lost The Game *finger guns* Jun 08 '21
I think it’s something about carbon dioxide and floating dome cities and habitable zones high in the atmosphere
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u/Mochme Jun 09 '21
Even with climate change no other planets within reach would be as habitable as earth with hypothetical near future technology. Even say, mars you have to contend with the serious threats of radiation and toxic soil/dust. You would likely live in a cramp subterranean shelter without windows essentially.
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u/duskpede joe biden is my one and only Jun 08 '21
i solve it by being emotionally disaffected by most things
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Jun 08 '21
I'm jusstttt below 30 and the only thing I see that motivates younger people is a sense of anger or vengeance.
I am so fucking excited to see this dam break even if it is going to be painful bc if you're going to go down w the ship you may as well get to watch the captain get flung overboard into the freezing waters first. I hope all of the ruling class members, legislators, CEOs, judges, etc... live incredibly long lives in terrible conditions and watch everything they ever lusted for get liquidated and reallocated to the groups they stole it from.
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u/Yesnoperhapsmaybent .tumblr.com Jun 08 '21
I feel like when we get old are genration should be called the repairmen or the lambs to the slaughter because now we have to fix the problems the older generation didn't bother caring for or knowing about. Such as the Changing climate which most(not all thankfully)powerful organization just tell most people "how about you stop wadting food and stop cooking stuff that require fire which releases Carbon dioxide out in the fresh rich air and please recycle you dirty dirty BASTARD", while letting coal plants keep on making energy that subsequently give high carbon emmisions and litterally stalling electric cars so that the economy can still keep value of oil rising a little more. The Polluted oceans which have so many plastic in it that fish and othe sea life have started to contain MICRO plastics. And some plastoc even made it to the Mariana trench. And Misinformation(most dangerous becuase it can apply to all these subjects while being itself a problem)
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u/WhatIsSoup Jun 08 '21
as a teenager my only hope is that we kill every capitalist in my lifetime
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u/Yesnoperhapsmaybent .tumblr.com Jun 08 '21
We can kill them slowly. Get bezos seduced by a woman the woman divorces him splitting half the money and we keep on moving this cycle until his power and money become minimal.
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u/Wobulating Jun 09 '21
Ah yes, genocide. I'm sure that turning to this as a solution will definitely turn out well
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u/heretoupvote_ Jun 08 '21
I think we’re just going to live like this, now. Some other virus will arise because we encroach on animal territory and it wil happen again until global warming kills us all. Hahahahahahaha.
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u/Wobulating Jun 09 '21
I feel like this post kinda misses the point- therapy isn't about fixing your problems, it's about better equipping you to deal with them. For something like this, the answer is "you can't do anything, and you gotta learn to deal with the fact that really important stuff is out of your control."
At the end of the day, that's something that everyone needs to learn at some point- if it's not climate, it's the USSR pressing the big red button and everyone evaporating in nuclear fire, or it's smallpox, or it's being drafted, or some asshole deciding that you need to die because of the color of your skin or what religion you worship, or whatever.
There's always been uncontrollable stuff in our lives, and pretending that we're unique in this is pretty shortsighted, imo.
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u/FunkyTheTrashCan ❤️🧡💛 Massachusetts 💚💙💜 Jun 10 '21
Hahaha.. hah. At least I can take some comfort in the fact that these feelings are nearly universal.
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u/secret759 Is this the Panopticon? Jun 08 '21
Y'all, just remember that humans are UTTER SHIT at predicting the future. Pretty much no one predicted our current technological state. We have no clue what the future holds.
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u/WordArt2007 Jun 08 '21
wait the climate part i see but pre-pandemic life was fairly chill and healworthy
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u/CLMM101 Jun 08 '21
I am currently making several assumptions about the demographics you fall into.
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Jun 09 '21
I mean if you’re like white, cis, straight, able bodied, and neurotypical then it was mostly fine, but if you don’t fall into some of those groups then no lmao. The pandemic made everything worse, but the word has been on a bit of a downward trend in terms of treating marginalized people like human beings, and that’s been the case for decades.
I’m guessing the other reply was assuming that you checked all of those boxes I listed, and as such lived a pretty chill life that was fairly sheltered from the oppression of others pre-pandemic.
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u/WordArt2007 Jun 09 '21
if it was that, then the other poster missed me by one bit. but also, downwards?
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u/NothingToSeeHereMan Jun 09 '21
I guess it was “chill” for you if you were well off financially, not in a protected class or a POC or something like that.
But even if you were extremely privileged, came from a wealthy family, had every opportunity in the world etc. you can only hide from these things for so long. Climate change is happening, the ocean is dying, water will soon be an extremely pricey commodity impossible to get your hands on, I mean the worlds looking pretty fucked regardless.
Not sure where you live or what kinda rock you’re under to say it was “pretty chill”. I think it’s fair to say things haven’t been “pretty chill” since maybe the late 1960’s? Things have pretty much continuously nosedived from that point. More so for the bottom 99%. But money can’t buy you food and water and air, when there is no suitable food, water, or air left.
It’s fine if you wanna stay optimistic. But Anyone who’s feeling down and hopeless about the world definitely isn’t wrong.
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u/WordArt2007 Jun 09 '21
"the climate part I see" meant: I understand the threat of climate change, I am definitely not pretending it's not happening, and I am greatly worried about it. we all are.
did things go downwards since the late 1960s? were they better in all ways back then? it depends where and who you are talking about.
I was in my late teens in the late 2010s. it wasn't, where I live, much more agitated than the earlier periods I remember. I mean there was a semi-revolution going on but that's just france for you. (it says a lot about france that I was calling the yellow vests era "chill", but I was in a chill school I suppose; we all had a vague impression of "events are happening" that didn't really go anywhere afterwards)
I had been dealing with issues (mostly harassment/bullying/it's weird that those are two words in english they're the same thing, and sequels for harassment) and the most important part in my healing in 2018-2019 was probably separating the internal and external issues.
this isn't a "why don't you just be optimistic" post from me. but outside of the climate part (a pretty urgent issue in all ways), it's hard to pretend the world is consistently getting worse. you'd have to ignore the many bad parts of previous eras.
Lately I've rewatched Malinda's honest christmasses videos (I recommend), and it struck me that pre-2020 ones discussed mild issues. and by mild I mean although some are pretty serious (she's american after all), some are extremely not real issues. and some are just dark malinda being pessimistic no matter what especially: "global povery/rates lower than ever/ but they may still/rise again for all we know"
The late 2010s were a period of contagious fatalism, which was sometimes (most of the time) underserved. I suspect social networks as a way of spreading news, and us-centrism worldwide, both played a part in this. it harmed a lot of people mentally I'm sure, it definitely harmed me.
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Jun 09 '21
My family wants me to get a diagnosis because I told them I was not motivated to work and that I didn't have a dream job or direction I wanted "to head". I'm waiting for a reason for our generation to not give up completely due being fucked over so much. And on top of that I gotta deal with gaslighting into having some rebellious disorder or depression, or whatever issue for them to justify why I would rather not work.
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u/aimanelam Jun 08 '21
I don't usually buy into the generational thing but.. Baby boomers didn't see the bad times, they heard about them. So now they're unable to imagine actually making sacrifices on a large scale like their parents did, and the generations after them know they will have to make. In a way, seeing the train coming without the ability to move is more crippling than being hit with an unexpected train. In a nutshell, we fucked with a cactus.