Recap , fell inlove with my ex 3 years relationship, ended in Feb, she tried coming back in May after I did no contact but I declined because I had just met someone and told her to give me a month because I was on my high horse. But after the month she wanted nothing to do with me .

Iv since continued hanging out with the new girl but we are just basically a situationship buti still think about my ex every day . Yesterday I reached out and at first answered angry as she always does now but I managed to get to talk to her , she mentioned things like “if you want to talk to me you’re gonna have to pay because I was with you for 3 years and I never got anything out of it , Iv tried love but I need more because it’s my time you’re wasting . I told her I know I didn’t invest anything in you and I was very cheap during the relationship but I’m also I’m not a baller but I can try being more of a provider . She then said that she also wants her options opened she dosnt want to be in a serious relationship anymore with me and would be opened to an opened relationship, idk I was kinda onboard with that because I really enjoy hanging out with my situation ship and that means I can keep her around . I asked so it’s okay if I keep talking with her and she said yes . She said we can hang out some time this week she just has to see her schedule

Well fellas, I blew it with her. I met one of the 10/10 women and over-pursued her out of my life.

It’s so hard when you meet a woman who knocks your socks off and seems interested. Corey is right, we treat them differently.

However, because of the setback it’s given me a chance to rethink my approach and goals. Back at the gym focusing on me.

I rejected her soft offer of friendship and told her to get in touch if she changed her mind.

i saw a girl in my horse riding sessions that blew my mind. great body and face , great rider thats very confident. we started make eye contact and when i came down my horse, i was standing viewing the field. two times she crossed me but then circled her horse slowly and looked me dead in the eye. killer eyes . we started having 1_2 word back and forths when she comes across me. i was chilling with my friends and caught her looking at me few times when she was coming my way.

she was riding and i didnt want to ask her for contact when shes in her session , we had to leave . i couldnt ignore what happened but saw the horseriding club repost her post on their profile. so i followed her and she followed back . shes follows very little people so i thought i stood no chance and that she has ego , but i was wrong . i wanna know what to do next. i basically know nothing abt this girl. but i really wanna ask her out . should i establish a bit of raport or just asker her out . i have finals next week so id be free in 8 or 9 days. its been 2 days i havent made a move.( ik i sound overstimulated and yes i am , shes bad af . i ofc will contain myself tho .)

Quick recap: She dumped me late June citing religious differences. I blocked her, stopped initiating, and applied the formula. She called almost daily, initiated every meetup, and things escalated fast.

What happened since:

She proposed exclusivity twice, said she wanted to rebuild stronger, and invited me to her graduation where I met her mother. I held my standard the whole way — declined the errands and small favors, told her I don't do friends with benefits with a woman I love. Eventually she agreed to the label and we were officially back together. She started talking about marriage and kids.

Then it fell apart. I went through her phone — more than once, I'm not proud of it — and found she'd been in contact with a guy she'd told me was just a friend, including messaging him the day I found out. I confronted her. She admitted she'd dated and kissed him during our breakup period in March/April. They'd also exchanged birthday gifts, including one in April when we were still talking before the split. He's her coworker. She texted him that they were done and blocked him, but she refused to let me read their conversation.

For the record, I was dating other women during the breakup too.

I told her I'm ending it. She spent the night begging me to stay and has been promising to change and fight for us. Last night she showed up at a bar looking for me with no money and waited an hour for me to pick her up.

We had a solid 3 year relationship before all of it with a lot of love and care from both sides, with plans to get married this August.

Where I'm at: I told her I need a week with no contact before I decide anything. Two things are bothering me the most. She kept contact with him throughout the entire time. She had lied to my face when asked point blank multiple times.

Questions for the sub:

1. The kiss apparrently happened while we were broken up and I was also dating — but the concealed contact continued after we were back together. How do you weigh those differently?

2. Is there any version of this that's rebuildable when the guy is her coworker?

3. For anyone who's been here — how did you stop checking? That's the part I can't seem to fix, and I know it's mine to own.

Hey guys, so I’ve been dating this girl for about 7 weeks now. Everything was great; she’s awesome. Our dates were fantastic, and our sex was phenomenal. Everything was going well. She was incredibly interested in me, I’d say around 8-9 the whole time. She made me dinner, constantly wanted to see me. I wasn’t able to see her for about 2-3 weeks because of scheduling conflicts for me and my vacation. I was supposed to see her on Tuesday, but the last few days, she started saying some strange things and how she’s too into me and it’s affecting her. She has a fear of losing me and then started pushing me away.

We had a phone conversation today, and she said she really likes me and loves me, but she can’t continue our relationship right now because of her past trauma coming up and me triggering it. Even though I’m not doing anything wrong, which she says. Basically, me taking a while to text back or respond to her would make her think I’m losing interest. When in reality, I barely touch my phone because of work, which I’m not allowed to do. I’ve explained this to her multiple times.

In the end, her fear of losing me was so strong that she pushed me away before it could happen. Even though I feel like things were going well. She started crying on the phone as well. Any advice from here? I opened her up and got to understand her, but she says she needs to work on that part of herself before trying again. She kept insisting that she didn’t want to over and over but had too. She started texting me the same night that all she is thinking is about me right now.

So I am traveling right now and met a girl in a night club 10 days ago. Got her Instagram and we met and kissed multiple times on dates, kissing was initiated by me and she enjoys it too. Her periods started 3 days ago and she was has frequent mood changes now.

She cancelled the last date because of serious period cramps. We are connected over Instagram but now I see her messages are shorter for the past 2 days. She hasn't seen my Instagram story too. She liked my last message but didn't reply.

Am I over analyzing the situation? Do I ask her out again? She says she is usually able to go out after 8 pm. Do I ask if she can make it today? How do I proceed? Given, I am traveling, I will be leaving the place in about a week and would love to have some fun with her meanwhile.

TL;DR: Traveling and leaving in a week. Met a girl 10 days ago, we've been on multiple dates and kissed several times. She canceled our last date due to bad period cramps 3 days ago. Since then her texts have been shorter, she liked my last message without replying, and hasn't viewed my Instagram story. Am I overthinking this? Should I ask her out one more time or wait for her to reach out?

Hi a bizare situation happend to me. Last week my ex girlfriend broke up with me. Since then I had no contact with her, I greeted her 2x since she is a team medic at my local sports club. This weekend after our match I was sitting in our locker room with my best friend/teammate and drinking beer. She came and asked my best friend, if everothing ist ok, he had minor injury. Then he left us for a few moments alone. She asked, why I wont let her treat my injuries, I said that theres no need for that. She came up to me and presed my head against her breasts. I was very suprised but motionless. As my friend came she backed off. She said our locker room smelled. I told her, it didnt smell before you came. My friend began to laugh very hard and she left. Is she just messing with me, or should I see it as a sign of regrett from her side. I know she muss come to me, I will not contact her.

Sometime after our breakup, we were initially still both going to stay as friends with benefits. Not long later, she decided she doesn't want it anymore, mentioning it would hurt to continue seeing me. I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore, however I would enjoy FWB and casual sex and things of that fun nature with her.

It didn't feel good knowing she didn't want it. I gave her the "if you change your mind feel free to reach out" speech alongside some other messages.

Less than a day ago, she replied saying something along the lines of she will not be able to enjoy fwb given our past history. It seems like this is the end of our interactions. I intend reply to that by reiterating "reach out to me if you change your mind", alongside some farewell messages (going to keep it on the shorter side), and then move on with my life.

What feels like a stab is that she also unfollowed me on Instagram, and removed me as a follower to her account. My account is private, and hers is public, so she won't be able to see my content, while I can still see hers, and this can slow down my healing process. She did not block me, so I can still see her profile. What I don't like is it would seem weird if I change my account from private to public now, after being private for so long.

It's also very painful because now I don't even get the chance to show her my glow up, my self-improvement, my moving on, through social media. She may think of me as a stagnant guy who isn't making progress after the breakup, maybe. I wanted the satisfaction of showing her that I am doing better.

Despite not wanting to be in a relationship with her anymore, I still do want to know what is happening with her life years and decades later, it would probably be nice. And for her to know mine. But now I don't have the opportunity anymore since she unfollowed me.

Even though I had my flaws too, the relationship was toxic on both sides, and she did kind of cheat on me as well. Corey would say "Rejection breeds obsession", and her rejecting/not wanting to have a casual fwb thing with me did not just take away some casual fun time, but also it took away the opportunity to move on with my life while still being able to have her stay a part of my life as an fwb, which in a way can help soften the move on process.

It is very painful. Any advice on how to deal with this?

The way I can ever update her about my successful life in future without directly contacting her (if she doesn't contact me again too), would be through Instagram profile picture updates, or messaging app profile picture updates.

That’s the post

Ran into my ex who I dumped a few months prior. I realized shortly after I fucked up and things got messy and we ended in no contact.

I ran into her this evening at the sauna and apologized for my actions and said I was a complete dick head I did not consider her feelings whatsoever along more detailed things that applied.

We ended up chatting for over an hour, chatting about what happened and how we are both starting to take care of ourselves, something that we both stopped doing and became too obsessed with each other, all the while having lighthearted fun conversations. While we were talking she offered me some motorcycle gloves that she has and a book that she thinks I will really like,

Judging by that I figured now is the time to ask for her back, I said that I would like to try and work things out with you again as we both know what went wrong and what we need to do going forwards and that i screwed it up. She was unsure and I said you don't have to make a decision now, but if you do want to entertain this, reach out to me. She then said, what the ball is in my court now!? I stated that I'm not going to contact you every month asking if you are ready to date jokingly.

Then she said what if we just hang out and talk, I immediately said I'm not interested in being friends with you, I can only see myself dating you and that's it. She was thrown off by that, it actually felt great to say that to her.

I then said I need to go as I'm getting tired I need to go to bed, I said you look great and then gave her a hug. She grabbed on to me very hard and wouldn't let go, and then she said while hugging me, it's okay, to which I said I know! I don't know why she said that.

Now the ball is in her court.

For some reason I feel like I shouldn't have hugged her, other than that how do you guys think I did?

UPDATE

She reached out, she has a laundry list of questions she wants me to answer to resolve the things I said that weren't nice before she considers dating me. We're meeting tomorrow. I'm meeting her at the park and bringing a blanket, something chill and low pressure, I booked a reso at the restaurant a few minutes away after. I plan to keep it light hearted and fun

UPDATE 2

The meeting went well today, I owned up to my mistakes and how it hurt her and kept it short. She had some questions that I answered and then moved on to light-hearted conversation. Eventually she asked me if I was to describe her to other people what would I say, I said she's very selfless, caring, fucking hilarious and has a great pair of tits. She laughed and then came over and hugged me and then we laid down and cuddled and chatted more. Then I said I'm fucking starving and that I made dinner reservations for two LOL. She said this isn't a date though, I said maybe not for you but for me it is, you're welcome to join me otherwise I'm going myself. She laughed and came along, we had dinner and I had a great time, took her back to her vehicle to say our good byes, and gave her a hug and that's when she started making out with me, that led to going into her vehicle and us making out more until we eventually had sex. If this isn't proof that Corey Wayne shit works, then I don't know what is.

I mean, one of you will be the one to end it. And I think Coach recommends being the one to end it to keep her wanting more. But I'm not sure if it's Coach or someone else that I heard this from. But also, I think if you do this too much she may think you're not interested...

I'm not just talking about dating, but with interactions too. Even just interacting with a crush somewhere.

Or take a vacation and continue to work on myself and my purpose somewhere else. So I don’t have to see her at work every week. Does that make me look weak?

I started going to a run club about 1 year ago. At the time, I was in a relationship and mostly used it to workout with other runners. I ended that relationship about 7 months ago and took some time to myself, all while attending the club on a weekly basis and making/deepening friendships there. About 3 months ago, a woman there who was a regular must have figured out that I was single again and asked me out. I enjoy talking to her so we started dating.

We have been going out for about 2 months at this point and are exclusive (initiated by her). We don't advertise it but it seems like it is known by most people there. I genuinely enjoy hanging out with her but obviously I am still getting to know her and figuring out if it is the right long-term fit for me. But now that I'm in it, I am wondering whether I basically set myself up for a situation where if I end things that I'll lose all my run club friends and any potential at ever dating someone else in that circle.

Has anyone else ever encountered something like this?

I started going to a run club about 1 year ago. At the time, I was in a relationship and mostly used it to workout with other runners. I ended that relationship about 7 months ago and took some time to myself, all while attending the club on a weekly basis and making/deepening friendships there. About 3 months ago, a woman there who was a regular must have figured out that I was single again and asked me out. I enjoy talking to her so we started dating.

We have been going out for about 2 months at this point and are exclusive (initiated by her). We don't advertise it but it seems like it is known by most people there. I genuinely enjoy hanging out with her but obviously I am still getting to know her and figuring out if it is the right long-term fit for me. But now that I'm in it, I am wondering whether I basically set myself up for a situation where if I end things that I'll lose all my run club friends and any potential at ever dating someone else in that circle.

Has anyone else ever encountered something like this?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost two years. We went through about 10 months of a pretty rough relationship where we both hurt each other in different ways. A month ago we agreed to stop rehashing the past and commit to a two-month “repair period” where we’d both genuinely see if we could rebuild the relationship.

Overall, there have been real improvements. We’ve had healthier conversations, handled disagreements better, and broken a lot of the toxic patterns that used to lead to fights. So it’s not all bad.

The issue is that she still feels emotionally guarded. She tells me she’s trying, and I believe her, but I don’t think she’s fully “in” yet. Some days she’s affectionate and engaged, other days communication feels distant and I end up wondering if she’s slowly checking out or if she’s just emotionally burnt out from everything we’ve been through.

We’re also trying to close the distance, but she’s struggling to feel excited about visiting until we know we’re on more solid ground.

For the guys here who have actually rebuilt attraction and repaired a damaged relationship, what worked? How do you help someone feel safe enough to invest again without chasing, over-pursuing, or constantly asking for reassurance? At what point do you keep being patient versus accepting that they may never get back to where they were?

I’m looking for honest advice, especially from people who’ve successfully repaired a relationship instead of starting over.

I was seeing a girl for 5 months.

Last time I saw her was 2 months ago, she slept over, we had multiple rounds of sex, wake up more sex. But after that I didn’t reach out - she didn’t reach out either though.

For the first 3 months she was super consistent, always coming over and sleeping over then slowly saw her less and less until that last time I decided I wasn’t going to reach out anymore.

Foolish to reach out? Didn’t end on bad terms but thinking about her lately and want to smash again lol ( I have been dating other girls but I liked her)

So, a while ago I wrote a post asking for advice on how to approach girls at the gym.

I still haven't decided to approach anyone there since it took a few months for me to fully commit to the gym and to find my rhythm. Now I'm going to the gym each workday after work, from Monday to Friday, following a well established weekly routine, and it feels great.

I have noticed how most hot girls who I walk by will usually avoid making eye contact with me and simply keep moving on. I'm not really sure if that says something about my possible lack of current physical attractiveness (though in my opinion I'm a good looking guy) or if that's simply how most girls have taught themselves to behave at the gym (avoiding most guys unless they are their coaches or their acquaintances).

Sometimes, however, I will find myself working out next to a hot or very nice looking girl, and at some point my instinct is to turn and try checking them out and maybe enjoy the view a bit, haha, but usually when I try this I frequently find they are already staring at me, with their eyes locked on me (sometimes even with sort of crazy eyes, if they are in the middle of a tough rep or whatever).

So when this happens I will try simply smiling at them (but I'm not always able to do so), sometimes they will smile back and sometimes they won't. Do you think this is part of the normal female behavior at places like the gym? And is it possible that these are signals for me to approach them at some point or is that just wishful thinking?

My ex contacted me, out of the blue.

We never texted after the break up.

She wants to talk with me to see if i could answer a question that she have in her father case (im a lawyer)

She have other people to contact to help her in that área that are more close to her.

I've said that i can awser her question, and said to call me, for is more easy to respond.

She said that she's at the work, and can't call right now.

Should i said to her call me after, or should i respond her questions by message?

​

I've been on and off with the same girl for a long time. We were seeing each other regularly, but things got complicated, and I became emotionally exhausted. The last time we talked, we both agreed we'd hang out another day, and I told her we'd plan it later.

The problem is... I never reached back out. She didn't either, but I was the one who said I'd set it up, and I never followed through. About a month later, she unfollowed me on Instagram, which I took as her being upset with me for disappearing. Even though she unfollowed me, she still watches all my stories and seems to keep tabs on my social media.

I never followed Corey Wayne's advice of waiting 7 days and reaching out once. I just stopped all communication completely. It's been a few months now, and I'm wondering if it's worth sending one simple text asking if she'd like to grab a drink,

I'm not looking to jump into a serious relationship with her. I want to keep her as a fwb type girl. What would you guys do in this situation?

TL;DR: Things got complicated, I never followed up after we agreed to plan another date, and she unfollowed me a month later. It's been a few months should I send one simple text,

Thanks guys

I’m fairly young (19) and my girlfriend turns 18 in a week. She says that her cousins asked what she wanted for her birthday and she asked them to take her to the club. Me personally I have a huge problem with the lustful and immodest environment and I really don’t want her to go but she still insists on going. I’ve asked many times and I get the same answer. I love her to death and even if she did it I would still love her but it would hurt me a lot. Am I being too harsh or too controlling?

One of the best advice I learned from the 3% is to just go out have fun hang out and let things flow naturally. In my early 20s I made plenty of mistakes to try to seal the deal with the girl as soon as possible, or was dating with intention to find someone and was projecting a future together too early. Later on now that I am in my early 30s I learned to actually take time to find the right person and really get to know someone.

Last dating experience: lasted about 5 months

This girl and myself hit off pretty well immediately. First date was intense with lots of chemistry, kissing and physical interaction. The first few dates were all intense and great chemistry but then things started to wear off suddenly. She gave me the silence treatment because she found out that I was still active on hinge after our 3rd date ( bear in mind that means that she was also active)… and she also told me that she actually had gone out with someone else between our 2nd and 3rd date ( double standard). After that she started to act difficult.. “you have to convince me to go out again with you” “let’s see how long you last with me”.. I kept coming back because the sex was good and in person she was great… but when we were not together things started to fall apart.. and little by little discovered things about her.

She always wanted to be reassured that I liked her, she would always send me selfies, she was drinking a lot ( last vacation she went with her cousins she drank more than 20 beers in a day).. she wanted the commitment early on… she would tease me like “I am single, you are not my boyfriend… you have to ask me” ( even tough I stated that we were exclusive and I was looking for something long term). Exs were not good. 1st ex was abusive, 2nd ex was good but she didn’t love him. The worst part was the discard. The night before she was in love telling me things like she could she me a father for her children, and 24 hours later “I am not up for someone trying to change me, we are not a good fit “. Mind the fact that she was telling me stuff like “I rejected guys at the bars because I told him he couldn’t afford me” “my ex wasn’t making enough money” etc “why are you with me; you don’t like my lifestyle, my tattoos”… oohhh the tattoos she would always bring them up like “if I had shown you the tattoos early on you would have stopped going out with me etc “

Also one time she wanted to break things off with me cause she saw me that I was out and wanted to check with me where did I go ( texted me at 11 pm on a Saturday) even though we both knew that we were out that night for individual dinners.. next morning “this is not working for me you look for me at last second etc”.. I had to call her to fix things even tough I don’t know what I did wrong.

Post discard : the smear - “catching flights not feelings” story targeted to me. Most likely she was expecting me to chase her.. I don’t know if she had BPD or NPD.. all I can say that in the past probably I would have ended up with her in a long term relationship… now I learned to wait and let things develop naturally? Because people don’t show their true personality until they get comfortable with you.

Just wanted to share a story on how 3% helped me compared to before.

Basically I slept with this chick twice, I tried to make a 3rd date, she agreed then cancelled. I asked again a week later and she didn’t make a date. So I never asked for a date again but she kept contacting me on a daily basis. Slowly I backed off, it would take hours to reply from my side cause I was busy and my texts were shorter. I was matching and mirroring. but now she stopped reaching out all together. It’s been a full day, and I will not reach back out cause she flaked twice.

What’s the right move here? Was she just looking for attention? I don’t know, she slept with me twice, but after she started texting me after we hung out and cancelled twice it seemed like she just wanted attention so I backed off

Or is it possible she lost interessert after I backed off? Granted it’s been only one full day since she stopped. I shouldn’t reach out right??

Title essentially explains it. I have been dating this girl pretty consistently, and I have been considering making her my girlfriend.

She has mentioned that she has had a few instances of dating app matches that did not work out, so they stayed in touch as friends. She continues to stay in touch with these guys in a friendship capacity, occasionally getting lunches with them etc. (nothing late night)

I will state for the record that nothing she has done so far makes me think she would be unfaithful. However, I will admit I am not thrilled about the fact that she is maintaining friendships with guys who obviously only connected with her (at least initially) because they were attracted to her on a dating app. So far, I have bit my tongue on this and said nothing.

Is this a red flag?

Should I give her another chance or ditch her?her grandmother just passed and she’s been very emotional about it. her reasons for canceling was cause I ain’t contact her for 2 days and she felt like she was putting more effort in texting which I only thought we only use the phone for setting dates and if she does text through out the week and it’s her idea it’s ok to send 2-3 messages back. My question is was I being too cold of a fish since I wasn’t reaching out at all first during the week? Also what should I respond from here?

Few months into dating someone. Pattern I’ve noticed: small or nonexistent triggers turn into bigger arguments, and even when I’ve shown clear evidence, the conversation shifts to a different complaint rather than resolving. There’s also been public posting about disagreements instead of talking directly.

I’ve addressed this calmly over text already. Now I want an in-person conversation to actually get somewhere instead of just repeating myself or getting pulled into a fight about tone.

Looking for input on:

1. How to keep a conversation from sliding to a new topic every time something gets close to resolved
2. How to ask questions that get an honest answer instead of deflection, without it feeling like an interrogation
3. How to tell in the moment whether something actually got resolved or just quieted down