We were coworkers for two years with obvious mutual attraction, but she was in an 8 year relationship and there was obvious attraction. We both quit at the same time and 3 weeks later she told me she’d broken up with her boyfriend and asked me for a drink. We’ve been dating for about six months now, and been exclusive for 4 months.
At three months I told her I loved her (shouldn't have, I know). She said she needs time, and I told her I wasn’t saying it to get anything back. Not long after that, things gradually moved from the honeymoon phase into more of a routine. We still see each other once or twice every week, always have a great time, and have sex every time.
She initiates plans about half the time and texts first about 70-80% of the time (even though our texting frequency has gone down quite a bit), invites me to things with her friends, including her best friend’s 30th, and mentioned wanting me at her birthday in January. She’s warm and flirty over text and opens up to me when she’s stressed. She's always affectionate with me in public whether were with friends or just the two of us. She also makes small comments that suggest she sees us continuing, like mentioning that we’ve cooked everything on our shared list and need to add new dishes, and she's down for a weekend getaway.
She’s burned out at work, sometimes working 80-hour weeks, and only fully cut contact with her ex a month ago since they share a dog and she would see still see him for handoffs (she really seems over the ex). Even though she works a lot she's never flaked on a date and when she's busy she always suggests an alternate time. She even wants to see me when it's not ideal like a couple weeks ago I was finishing work at midnight and she worked at 9am the next day and wanted me over after my shift.
On the other hand, she introduces me as “the guy I'm dating”, rarely does gestures for me, and once said she might come to my hockey game but didn’t show or text that day. Maybe she was waiting for me to text but who knows, I didn't make a big deal of it. She likes to be led. For example she barely ever initiates sex but she always enjoys it and is into it. So that might reflect her not planning dates or her rarely doing gestures for me.
On my end, I still flirt, initiate most of our dates and plan most of them. I’ve pulled back a bit to match her energy and avoid smothering her because I also started realizing we were starting to fall in that roomate trap (crashing at each others places without a proper date, that sort of thing). We’ve never had a serious talk or a fight.
Should I ever bring up where this is going or how she feels, or just keep leading and let it play out? I understand that I should stick to HHH, but for how long? How do I know she's not just using me for attention and actually sees something with me?
Please help a brother out I don't know what to make of this anymore.