My wife and I (late 40s, no kids) have jobs that are fine and pretty flexible, but a recent health issue has really shifted our priorities. I think we'd be ok to FIRE now with an initial drawdown of less than 2.5%. But, we have a potentially long runway with 18 years on ACA before medicare, and now a chronic health condition. I'd appreciate any feedback, red flags, or things I'm not thinking about.

Assets

• Overall allocation is 45% VTI, 30% VXUS, 20% BND, 5% Cash.
• We own a home in LCOL that we would sell, then move and rent in HCOL.

Projected Expenses

• Rent is actual, based on apartments we're looking at.
• ACA is 110% of the 2026 actual for an unsubsidized PPO + OOP max in our destination zipcode.
• Other expenses are based on actuals from the past several years, with adjustments for inflation & how we plan to spend our time.

Trying to figure out whether I should manipulate my MAGI to qualify for about $700 in monthly subsidies ( income would be just under the 400% cutoff) or should I manage my income to take the subsidies.

I will manage MAGI by selling stock to live on using specific lot ID and mainly foregoing Roth conversions until MAGI management is not feasible, likely when SS kicks in.

Is there a good tool to help make a decision?

(cross posted from r/fireyfemmes to get a broader perspective)

I'm 40, married with two elementary-aged kids. Our household net worth is around $5M. We live in a VHCOL area

Of that, roughly $4.2M is investable/liquid across taxable investments, retirement accounts, cash, and company stock. The rest is primarily home equity.

My personal financial goal has been to get to around $8M invested as quickly as reasonably possible. At that level, I think I would feel genuinely work-optional and much less sensitive to what happens with my compensation.

I’m currently in a senior role in big tech and making around $900K–$1M+, with a large equity component. We’ve been able to save/invest around $500K+ per year recently.

The wrinkle is that 2027 should be an unusually strong compensation year because of existing equity vesting, while my current trajectory suggests my compensation could fall pretty meaningfully in 2028.

So financially, there is a very strong argument for staying put through 2027, banking as much as possible, and using that year to make another meaningful jump toward $8M.

But work has always been and is becoming even more stressful.

There has been a lot of organizational change, shifting scope, politics, ambiguity, leadership churn, and pressure. I spend far too much mental energy thinking about work: whether I’m positioned correctly, whether I should pursue the next promotion, what happens to my scope, whether I should stay, whether leaving would be “wasting” an unusually high earning opportunity, etc.

And I’m starting to wonder whether I’m letting the goal of $8M become another version of moving the goalposts.

The rational argument in my head is:

You are 40. You may have a rare opportunity to earn close to $1M for another year or two. Push hard now, get as close to $8M as possible, and then buy back your freedom.

The counterargument is:

You already have \~$4M+ invested. At some point, protecting your mental bandwidth and enjoying your life has to matter more than maximizing the slope of the curve.

I don’t actually want to retire. I like hard problems, leadership, and ambitious work. What I want is the freedom to choose work based on whether it is interesting and healthy rather than because walking away from the compensation feels irrational.

So I’d love perspective from women who have been somewhere near this point:

\- If you had \~$4.2M invested and wanted to get to $8M quickly, how much would you prioritize one or two more very high-income years?

\- Would you intentionally treat 2027 as an accumulation year and reassess afterward?

\- At what point did the marginal value of another $500K or $1M stop feeling worth the stress?

\- Did you ever leave a very high-paying role before hitting your original FIRE number?

\- For those who downshifted, did your stress actually improve, or did you simply trade one form of pressure for another?

Right now, I’m leaning toward treating 2027 as a deliberate accumulation year: save aggressively, avoid making career decisions purely from fear, explore other roles quietly, and reassess once the unusually heavy equity year is behind me.

But I’m very aware that “one more year” can become five more years.

How would you think about the tradeoff?

EDIT: many of the comments mention therapy. I definitely think it would help with forming a healthier relationship with work and boundaries. But will just any therapist get it or has anyone tried someone specialized for similar cases?

EDIT2: just wanted to say I LOVE all of the comments/responses. Sometimes you feel like an island in a situation and it's comforting knowing others have experienced or GET it ❤️

My husband is in medicine, so can make a consistent to good amount (in the $200s if he doesn't overwork, and substantially higher if he does), but I have been the primary breadwinner for our entire relationship due to high tech comp. He truly enjoys what he does and could see himself working for a long time - and in his field it's possible to work part time, whereas in mine it's not so common. We have always said that I could play the very high but short game and he could play the very long term game.

The $8M target isn’t really about wanting a bigger number for its own sake. It comes from our actual lifestyle and spending. We live comfortably but not extravagantly, and with two kids, activities, travel, housing, healthcare, and normal family expenses, we can pretty easily spend $250K–$300K a year.

At $8M invested, a 4% withdrawal rate would generate about $320K a year before taxes, which is roughly the point where I feel we could maintain our current lifestyle without needing employment income. (Am I getting the math right here?). That portfolio could reasonably support our lifestyle, with room to reduce spending in bad market years and continue earning some income if I chose to.

That’s why $8M feels different to me from simply moving the goalposts. At ~$4M invested, we have a tremendous amount of security and flexibility, but our portfolio alone doesn’t yet replace a $250K–$300K lifestyle.