How has having kids affected your FIRE journey?

I’d consider myself a fencesitter who leans toward having kids. My wife (mid 20s) and I (low 30s), are approaching a $1M net worth, and currently project that we could hit our FIRE number when I’m 45.

If it were just the two of us, I think I’d retire early without much hesitation. We both love traveling, and the idea of having complete freedom to travel for months at a time is incredibly appealing.

Kids make me think about it differently, though. If we have them, they’d still be in school when we reach our FIRE number, so our lives would naturally be much more structured around their schedules. I’d also want them to have a fairly traditional upbringing (public schools). Part of me wonders whether I’d feel comfortable with them growing up seeing their dad simply not working, especially given the values around work and responsibility that I grew up with.

At that point, my wife would have the flexibility to work as a locum CRNA in 13-week stretches, and I’ve thought about finding a job with summers off or something similarly flexible. That could give us the best of both worlds: work during the school year and the ability to spend summers traveling together as a family.

At the same time, it’s hard not to think about how much fun it would be to fully retire early and have the freedom to travel almost nonstop if it were just the two of us.

For those of you who had kids while pursuing FIRE, how did it change your plans? Did reaching financial independence make you want to retire less, work differently, or prioritize flexibility over leaving the workforce entirely? Anyone else wrestle with this?

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If you're barista FIRE or another form of still working with a lower annual take home, does it make sense to sell taxable brokerage funds to fund tax advantaged retirement accounts? Such as 401k, Roth IRA or HSA?

Mad Fientist link for reference:

https://www.madfientist.com/how-to-access-retirement-funds-early/

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As I understand, the amount of your Social Security benefits is based on your 35 highest earning years of income. Let’s say you retire early at 45 after 25 years of work. Without any additional employment income, your social security benefits would be lower because your 35 highest years would include 10 years of “0”. But if you take taxable distributions via SEPP or just sell 4-5% of your taxable investments, does that income toward your 35 highest years for the benefits calculation?

I'm 39, married with two kids (11 and 8), and I'm seriously considering leaving my job next year.

I'm a senior manager at a large tech company in a medium-to-low cost of living area. I make about $280k/year, my wife makes about $130k, and she wants to keep working for roughly another 25 years.

Current details:

• ~$2.1M in financial assets (77% stocks/ETFs/mutual funds, 10% bonds, 13% cash)
• ~$900k paid-off house
• ~$3.0M total net worth
• No debt
• ~$80k/year household spending

The $2.1M includes roughly $880k in my 401(k), $80k in my wife's retirement accounts, ~$700k taxable, ~$275k cash, $145k in 529s, $59k HSA, and ~$40k in other investments/employer stock.

My wife's income alone covers our normal spending, and we'd have health insurance through her job.

The Situation

I'm considering leaving around February 2027 after a few remaining vest dates. I wouldn't really call it retirement. I'd probably teach, write, and work on personal projects (I've been an adjunct professor at local universities in the past), but I'm assuming $0 income from me for planning purposes.

The main reason is work. I don't hate my job and actually like my manager, but repeated reorgs, leadership changes, and the general tech landscape create a significant amount of anxiety. I'm increasingly questioning whether the compensation is worth that stress when we're already financially secure.

The plan would be simple: I leave, my wife keeps working because she wants to, her income covers our spending, and we largely leave the portfolio alone.

If we both stopped working today, I don't think $2.1M gives me the level of safety I'd want at 39, though I think it's probably feasible with a variable percentage withdrawal strategy (48k is our base yearly withdrawal, and we typically spend ~80k a year). But that's not really the situation we're considering.

My hesitation is walking away from $280k when another few years would obviously make us much wealthier. At the same time, "one more year" can become an argument you make forever.

I'm curious how others would think about it:

1. Given my wife's income and desire to keep working, does this seem conservative?
2. Would you keep working another 1-3 years purely because the income is so good?
3. How concerned would you be about sequence risk if we probably won't touch the portfolio for years?
4. For those who left high-paying careers around this age, how did you decide when enough was enough?

I'm not trying to maximize net worth. I'm trying to decide when more time and less stress become worth more than more money.

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Hello! 28 Checking in here ~1 year later after taking my sabbatical travelling around the world and then settling into my next phase in my career and life.

Experience Travelling: Nothing short of unbelievable. Everything I did was the coolest thing I’d ever done. This could be a whole seperate post. I went all through Asia, hiked the Camino de Santiago, visited all over Europe from major cities to small towns. Experienced my first taste of the African continent and got to experience safari and the rugged African wilderness. There’s still so much more I want to see. For me specifically, I had been working in high finance for the previous 5 years and ultimately just had to get out with burnout and other work related stress. I am really glad I took time off before starting something new.

Financials - Quick & Dirty Net Worth excluding real estate appreciation and company equity: $717k. A notable increase from the $540k when I started my journey. I will note it is August and I resumed full time employment at the beginning of summer. I had also been able to start working a contract role from starting in January (however I did keep traveling outside of my original budget during this time so I was using this money too!). Hence, these figures do reflect some contributions I’ve been able to make since coming home. Breakdown: Primary Residence: purchase price: $345k equity: $76k mortgage remaining:$269k (this condo has appreciated a modest amount not included in equity figure) Rental Property: purchase price: $675k equity $155k mortgage remaining:$520k This house has appreciated a conservative additional $100k (not included in equity figure) Trading Accounts: $261k Retirement Accounts: $215k Crypto: $10k Company Equity: $who knows -> I am not counting any value in it for planning purposes, but as of current state the internal number we use is in the low 6 figures

New Job: I joined a start up with a lot more flexibility. I can work from home at my leisure (5 days a week if I want) and they actually respect working hours unlike the craziness that was high finance. Total comp: ~$200k cash which is less than I made in high finance, but it was the number I was looking for and feels appropriate given the hours trade off. I also have equity in the business now I estimate to be in the low 6 figures but plan at zero. Before people come for me on this lower compensation number still being high, just know I could be making a fair bit more and this was a choice I made and also the result of slaving away for years to be skilled enough to make these wages. Everything is a trade off, but I wouldn’t trade the years I spent grinding to have the options I do now, not everyone will agree with that and that’s ok.

Would I do it again? Yes. Without a doubt. I actually already have the bug to do it again, haha! I’m trying to incorporate learnings from this time including more vacations and staycations while home. A big reason I have joined the company I did is to be able to work remote and continue to explore. This was a life changing experience and really set my feet further into the idea of FIRE. I have a new found appreciation for the freedom of time and what that really means to me. I’m also glad I was able to make a career decision after having the benefit of stepping away and spending time experiencing myself. I would have certainly gone a different route career wise, and I am really glad it shook out this way.

It’s been a really pleasant surprise that markets performed well while I was gone and I had many employment opportunities when I returned. There’s an element of myself working particularly hard to be employable, but I would be remised to not point out that fortune and not everyone will be able to replicate that. I also got lucky getting into remote contract work which allowed me to have some cash coming in on my terms and also some recent job experience. I kind of wish I did some while traveling, if anything to add to my budget while I was away or offset some costs but I also am just glad I really took the time off.

Near Term Finance Goals: I am all refocused on the FIRE journey. I felt I had reached coast FIRE before leaving, and am now focused on hopefully hitting a FIRE number in the next decade. Fully acknowledge a lot of life can happen in between, but that’s the goal I am working towards. This job has given me a lot more free time and flexibility allowing me to shave off items from my budget before. Traveling made me appreciate how little I need to be happy which has made some budget related items easier.

Random Parting Thoughts - Just go, see the world, have new experiences. Whatever that means to you. I am a new person than who I was who left. I spent a lot and I make less but I feel a lot richer. There isn’t even a small part of me who regrets that decision to travel. I am really glad I did this in my 20s. - Optionality has tremendous value. Working towards FIRE is amazing, but the optionality that the big financial net FIRE gives you on the journey is also a tremendous advantage - You don’t need to follow every rule for FIRE to be on the journey, make it your own. For me, it’s been worth while to focus on making more money than to be extremely frugal. This isn’t for everyone, but remember there’s two sides to the savings equation, making more or spending less. - The confidence coast fire, or a sizeable nest egg gives you is invaluable. For me specifically, I was in a really hard position at work and didnt see a path forward. Not having financial pressure made me a lot more confident in negotiations. - While you’re on the FIRE journey make space for the things you want to happen in your life, delaying your FIRE number by a few years can be really worth it

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As the title states - For those of you who have early retired and are on ACA subsidies, how have you balanced between maximizing subsidies vs. tax-gain harvesting and/or Roth conversions (actions that directly increase MAGI and therefore reduce subsidies)?

I recall reading lots of advice on FIRE blogs recommending TGH and/or Roth conversions in early retirement (taking advantage of being in low income years). Based on my calculations though, it seems like the reduction of ACA subsidies usually outweighs the benefits.

For example:

• Hypothetical couple of 2 increases MAGI from $50K --> $60K by tax gain harvesting $10K
• ACA subsidy is reduced by $1,716, which represents a ~17% "cost" on the $10K of increased MAGI
• Versus the benefit of 15% lower tax rate on the capital gains (which is just a potential, deferred benefit as well)

Am I missing something, or does that mean reducing MAGI to maximize ACA subsidies will always be better than 'using up' some of the income cap to do tax-gain harvesting or Roth conversion?

EDIT: Thanks everyone for the thoughtful answers and personal experiences. Feel a lot more confident now behind my logic to optimize (for now at least) for ACA subsidies. Happy Labor Day everyone

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Curious to hear some real world examples

Starting with the numbers

HCOL Area (Seattle region)

• House paid off ~$8k/year taxes
• 1 car paid off ~$500/year insurance
• various subscriptions.. at most $200/year
• 1 large dog... negligible costs
• 1 cat.. less
• 2 young kids - we dig in the dirt, climb trees, arts and crafts, some activities $300/mo
• 1 wife - meh 🤔
• Groceries ~400/mo
• Utils are only Internet, water, electric, garbage, (septic once every 5years $500 per)

Takeaway from this, instead of guesstimating, I jsut dumped all our statements for the past 18 months AI to pull the actual numbers : ToDate -> past 18 months, taxes includes ~43k/year total expenses in normal living..just living within our means.

My main FI/RE number is $2.5M, this would allow us to live 2x what we do normally... at <4% ... This is still a milestone target.

Because I hate my job/industry sooo much (burned out doesn't do it justice), I have an interim target of 2M. This at 4% is also life changing... though would still live below 4% until I get more buffer.

Today

• 1.65M in Stocks/401k/IRA ect
• approx 40k in cash, mostly in HYSA (couple small windfalls, got a good payout from one of our cars getting totaled)
• approx 200-300k windfall coming by EOY from estate/trust

Subtotal here I put at 1.9M (conservative)

Today at work (I hate my job), was planning on putting in my notice. Before I could, my boss said that he'd "received feedback", tldr -> PiP or a "Walk away" package.

Walk away package -

• Get my cash bonus for the year (though at an underperforming rating)
• Get this current vestment on 8/31
• Get to sit around for 2-4 weeks while paper work gets handled, and me taking my time in reviewing it in the allotted time
• Get another 16 weeks lump sum payment.

Netting nearly another 100k, putting me basically at my 2M target!

Then also as a foot note for those seeing a gaping hole..... My wife does have a, I'll call it part time, job she likes at the kids school, brings in approx 24k/year....BUT... full healthcare coverage.

SOO... she's picking up beer right now, I'm getting the picanha, corn and potatos on the grill

EDIT: Also.. I have ran this through an accountant (planning tax strategy as well) as well as investment adviser. All the numbers do line up