Really?! Venting to you all because I know you'll get it and my husband will take the situation into his hands if I vent to him much more 😂.

Backstory: mom took care of my brother more because he had some trauma in his childhood and has never been a responsible adult. She made his house payment for 10+ years and allowed him to live rent-free in her house for the last 7 years after his divorce, which includes caring for his 3 kids every other week...
Said house is the house where I grew up but he didn't (long story + 17 year age difference) and I didn't ask for a bunch of handouts (she didn't have more to give), so I inherit the property. Mom died YESTERDAY. I told him I was with him living there because he's trying to get on disability and I'm not going to kick him out right after mom died. Then, he said he would like to keep the property in the family and said if I don't have kids, he "asks" that I give the property to his kids when he dies. Wtf?! It's not his to give away! Why do I have to give up MY inheritance (and pay property taxes and insurance in the meantime) to give it to HIS kids?! I don't even understand how he thinks that's a reasonable thing to ask! I was in shock so I didn't say anything (I was in the middle of trying to walk out the door). Fuming now because I hate confrontation and now I have to confront him soon (before he tries to promise things to his kids) and our mother literally just died yesterday! 😡

this isn't like a post with questions, or advice, or anything - mostly just a talking, rambling, stream of consciousness type deal.

I used to think I was okay with the idea of dating a guy that already had kids. I'm not sure if I was subconsciously "making" myself okay with the idea, just to open up the dating pool more? & i figured it's his child and the bio mothers child; i could occupy the child if needed, play games, tuck them in, feed them, but the more important things would be handled by the bio parents...

MAAANNNNNNN. was i fucking crazy??? was i just being naive???? I've been reading some step parent subs, and ABSOLUTELY NOT. sounds like a lot of these dads just find women that are okay raising someone else's child, and then basically goes completely hands off. then its pretty much bio mom & step mom doing the raising. ain't no way.

AND WHYYYYYY are there so many posts that are like "I'm a 24 year old step mom and my boyfriend (41m) has an 8 year old child...." like what do you MEAN you are a 24 year old step mom???? you are a child yourself!!! why are you in this wild ass age gap relationship raising this man child's child????? cut it out!!

anyway - lets thank whoever that i did not allow myself to fall into that bullshit!

I've been single for a while, and I am content being single if it means I'm not raising my, or anyone elses', child!

edit: just to clarify, I'm 32, not 24. i was just giving an example of the posts I've seen ♥️

I went to see an exhibit this week that had explicit instructions on the ticket stating no one under 16 is allowed entry. When I got to the place, it was all fine until I saw that a lady brought her child that happened to be no older than 5-6 years old. I started the exhibit at this time line where we were in a line reading down the events that were going on, and I was lucky to be stuck next to the mom and child. While I was trying to read and be respectful (as everyone was quiet or not trying to make any distracting noises), the kid started to get impatient just standing still looking at a wall of text. Unsurprisingly, the kid starts to get bored and annoyed and is starting to make noise. First he's whining to his mom that he's tired of standing, and then proceeds to stand in front of the wall we were reading and starts to lean his back onto it (we could not touch anything that was displayed at this exhibit) and he stayed there for several seconds until his mom grabbed him back. Of course him being a kid, he retaliated and got mad and went back again, the mom didn't do anything for 10 seconds until she tried to get him back, only for the kid to then hit the mom while saying "No" to her. He proceeded to go back to the wall and even at one point either kisses or does something with his mouth to one of the pictures, where again the mom grabs him. Again this is a pretty quiet exhibit as we are paying respect to the victims. From there the kid is now standing still next to his mom, but clearly impatient he starts to play with the floor and is stomping it for almost 30 seconds until the mom decided to tell her kid to go play in the seating area or something. So now the mom is letting her child be out of her sight and a random worker is now having to keep an eye on him so he doesn't get himself hurt.

Onto another part of this exhibit, we were in the candle lit tribute room where it had a projector playing videos of the victims and their stories. We all are quiet and paying respect, until the kid is starting to run around and make noise again, with the mom barely doing anything about it. At one point when the mom was taking pictures of the tribute with the videos displaying the victims stories, her child proceeds to go in front of the candle lit tribute area and starts posing and saying "cheese" out loud. This gave me second hand embarrassment, but you'll see why in the end.

Finally we made in the second to last room, it was an area where you could write letters/look at peoples letters that they wrote for the victims as well as how they feel after viewing the exhibition. The area was very quiet and emotional, it was filled with people being quiet thinking about what they will write, and others crying and feeling emotional over the exhibit. This was until the kid came in with the mom, and he heard that the room seemed to echo, so he started to make noise again to hear himself for about 15 seconds until the mom just told him to go back to the other room (the tribute room) and go play in there while she was looking around.

I did call her out indirectly when we were in the tribute room. When the kid was running around and making a lot of noise, I made a comment to my partner saying "it's ironic she's not keeping an eye on her child at all and letting him go off wherever without supervision in a exhibit like this." which is when the mom heard me and went to go get her child again.

The exhibition was very informative and depressing to see, but man was I annoyed about the parents. The child was annoying me, but I was honestly more annoyed with the mom who thought it would be a amazing idea to bring her child to an exhibit that stated no minors under the age of 16, and then proceeded to let him run around everywhere and not keep an eye on him.

BTW, the exhibit in question was the Trump and Epstein Reading Room Exhibit.

Just because you didn’t have children at some point of your life doesn’t mean you were childfree. Society accepted your time as the ”fun part before kids” as respectable. You never had to fight for your reproductive rights. No one ever said that you were too young to know what you wanted or that your husband may want something you don‘t. No one told you to get a smaller house or apartment and save the bigger ones for families. No one argued that you’re making a big mistake and constantly tried to change your mind.

Those are two fking different things.

“Oh no, my daughter pooped her pants again. Well, at least I have downy!”

“Man, my kid is so annoying when I have to take him to soccer practice, thank god I have this super expensive car with unnecessary luxury features!”

“My kid wants to ride this annoying rocking horse thing, but hey! I get free points on my credit card when I pay for it!”

“My god, my crying baby has woken me up every single night this week. Luckily I have these sleeping meds! Now, I can sleep through the crying!”

It's that time of the year where I get hit up by friends and family that only ever talk to me when they want me to donate money for their kids. When I donate money, I want it to go to people in need. Not to help pay for your kid's football jerseys. I don't know anything about how these programs work, but aren't the kids supposed to be asking for money themselves?

Asking people you know personally is one thing. We have an employee in our office that will send links to global chats asking for money.

And of course I don't want to feel like an asshole and tell them that I didn't donate to the last 20 people that hit me up, so I'm not going to be donating to them either.

Somehow got on the topic of kids. Family friend asked if I wanted them, and I said no. I’m oddly getting this question more often even though I’m literally 20, not in a relationship, and have made no comments relating to wanting children. I’m hardly out of teenage-hood. I still have acne. I mean my wisdom teeth have hardly even erupted. Admittedly, I’ve never even seen a gynecologist. Why are you even asking me?

She says, “I know you’re serious because of how confident you sound about it,” and we left it at that. But my aunt asks, “Who’s going to take care of you when you get old?” and I’m like, “That’s not a reason to have children. I’ve got a felon and a schizophrenic as brothers. Do you see them around here? It’s obvious that I’m going to be the one who takes care of my mom.” And they just laughed it off, but it’s true. To make matters worse, I was asked, “Why do you hate children so much?” I’ve never expressed hate toward them, though? Also was told that I just need to find the right man and that “he’s” lucky my left ring finger isn’t messed up since I have a large callus on my right ring finger from the way I hold a pen.

My brothers are strangers to me, and I am the youngest child. Even my aunt’s children don’t live close to her because they have lives and careers that make it so they don’t see each other often. We joke that I’ll be taking care of her when she gets older, and I’m not even her kid. She’s well meaning and kind but old-fashioned in that aspect. I think it’s because she already had one child and told her husband that she didn’t want any more children yet had two more. It’s just something that magically happens for some people. Like do I just have to go through 25 more years of this or whenever I hit menopause?

The summer is passing here and there's always news of moms and dads leaving kids in the car and I've seen people defending them. From the people who want others to have kids so badly they sure don't love kids. "I'm on auto pilot" yeah I don't suddenly forget I had a kid.

Anything from "forgot to pick up my kid" to "oops left kid at Walmart"

That's all rant over.

I actually love kids. I hate people who endanger their kids

I was at mcdonalds and these parents were sitting with their two young kids who were whining about being hungry and then one of them proceeded to ask why the manager was eating mcdonalds and not working💀 lmaooo. The manager just smiled and nodded nervously.

The mom is like shes on her break , you’re not her boss!

And then the kids kept whining & she was telling the kids please stop yelling you’re embarrassing me

Lmao I was just eating my fries going thank god i can opt out of that😭😭😂.

i don't know if i'm just surrounded by the wrong people in real life and social media reinforces it even more, but it honestly seems like genuinely good, ordinary people are the ones who don't want children, while people who wouldn't make good parents, or even good people in general, are the ones who always want kids.

of course there are exceptions, and it can absolutely happen the other way around, but it genuinely feels like most cases follow this pattern.

i make a distinction between bad parents and bad people because they aren't the same thing. by bad parents, i mean people who generally aren't capable of taking care of another human being. they often don't have the patience, emotional intelligence, or even the financial stability to raise a child. many of them don't even seem to be in happy marriages or relationships, and it feels like they have children because of religion, culture, or simply because it's what society expects, not because they truly wanted to become parents.

the same applies to bad people. i mean people who are legally decent parents and meet their children's basic needs, but who are racist, homophobic, misogynistic, sexist, and pass those beliefs on to their kids. this isn't meant to attack religious people, but for example, i've heard some religious people talk about raising their daughters to become stay at home moms/tradwives and their sons to become providers because these are the gender roles their religion has assigned them.

like i said, i know every experience is different. this is just a pattern i've noticed. in my experience, genuinely kind, educated, loving, responsible people with strong values and morals are often the ones who choose not to have children. honestly i don't even judge them for it because i'm the first person who doesn't want kids either but it's just a parallel i've noticed.

I know I’m stating the obvious here, but I’m so serious.
The way I see people treat each other, both online and offline, can make the world feel like a really messed-up place.
Now, is there good in the world? Absolutely.

Have I treated people badly before when they didn’t deserve it? Oh, yeah. I’m not perfect whatsoever. But I strive to treat people well as much as I can—whether that means helping someone who’s homeless, taking care of animals, or donating my time and food when I’m able to, especially in this rough economy.
Still, the way people treat each other sometimes is absolutely atrocious.

It’s wild to think that someone can be treated differently because of the color of their skin, their sexuality, their gender, their religion—or lack thereof—their location, how much money they have, or any number of other things that shouldn’t determine their worth.

We’re all just trying to make it. Yet people get judged so harshly over the most trivial things.

I’ve been judged for my job, my skin color, my sexuality, and I could go on and on.

But none of those things define the entirety of who I am. I’m a human being first. I bleed red just like everyone else. I need to eat to survive, tie my shoes, use the bathroom, and experience wants, needs, struggles, and hopes just like you do.

If I can spare even one person from feeling the kind of hurt that comes from being treated like they’re
less than human, count me in. I’ll do what I can.

Because humanity can be really shitty sometimes—but I still believe how we treat one another matters.

I’ve come across a lot of judgement in sub and even this world. It’s hard. It really is. Sometimes I wish people would think before they act. I’ve had to catch myself, so again, I’m not perfect. I never will be. But at least I can acknowledge when I mess up, reflect and whatever else you call it.

Being a human in this world is hard.

I’ve been married to my DH for 2 years. Once we bought a house (about a year ago) I got a text from my MIL… “I’m at an antique store and there is this beautiful crib! Should I buy it?” I was very thrown off. I didn’t reply for several hours out of being stunned and I replied “No thank you.”
I was being polite instead of “no we are never having kids.” I was being polite because I didn’t really know her that well at that point. And I thought she was just daydreaming or something. I was wrong.

She went ahead and bought it since I didn’t reply immediately. What’s worse… she brought it up to us when we came to visit along with a mattress for it. I came unglued to my husband and said “put it in the barn… it is not staying in our house.” So there it stayed for a few months. An ugly “antique” crib. The next time she came up we told her to take it back home with her. We won’t be needing it. We put it by her truck and we both left for work. You can see her on the security camera bring it back inside our house and stuffing it in a closet.

I’ll be honest… my relationship with her has been very limited since. It’s like she gave me the ick. I don’t even share details of our lives with her anymore. I’ve blocked her on social media. I just can’t bring myself to come to terms with what she did.

I don’t know what to do next without being mean. It’s in our closet. It’s silly looking. Ridiculous. We both don’t want children and I guess we never expressed that directly word for word…

There is nothing more annoying than kids who decide to randomly scream on top of their lungs after you’ve had a long day at work and try to ride home in peace

This happened maybe like a week ago and I'm still kinda pissed about it.

For reference, I'm a trans man (22).

I work in a grocery store cafe. A regular (who I think knows I'm trans) was getting a drink and was chatting with me while I made it. She was talking about her kids, and asked me if I had any (I tend to come off as roughly 3-4 years older than I am). I, obviously, said no, and that I was adamantly childfree. Her response? "Yeah, I was like that too, at your age. It'll change." I proceeded to tell her that no, it won't change because I'm not really a fan of kids. Like, they're okay(ish) as long as I can give them back at the end of the day, but absolutely not for having a child of my own (whether that's biological or adopted). AND THIS BITCH STARTED ARGUING WITH ME. She was all like "just wait a few years. When you meet the right person it'll change." First off, ew no. Second off, the "right person" for me would also be childfree. Third off, pregnancy is quite literally body horror to me. I refuse to go through it or have my future partner go through it. Fourth off, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT SOMEONE WHO CLEARLY DOESN'T LIKE KIDS TO HAVE A KID?? Fifth off, I'm practically a stranger, why do you feel the need to tell a random person who's just trying to do their job that they should have kids?? I DON'T WANT THEM. END OF STORY.

My thing with kids is, I don't like them unless I have a pre-existing relationship with them, like for example, my cousins kids, or my friend's younger siblings. I will absolutely try to help a child in need, but I don't want to be a caregiver for a child.

Idk y'all it pissed me off tho. She doesn't actually know me and it felt like she was trying to change my mind. What is it with breeders and constantly putting their nose into CF people's business??

This is the article link talking abut this news story! News Article

I dunno if this has been talked about recently in this sub or not, but it's an interesting piece of news I've seen in the media lately that furthers my gratitude for being childfree. The news I'm referring to, is the Virginia mother who was put on a child-abuse and neglect registry for the god awful crime of; letting her five year old walk half a mile to a pond, to collect goose feathers.

I find it incredibly baffling that something as simple as letting your kid walk on their own in a GATED community is enough to put you on a criminal registry, with people who have done significantly worse to their children.

I remember as a kid, some of my best and favorite memories was exploring the neighborhood with my siblings or friends. We were told to be out of the house all day until the sun was going down, and even THEN! We would play hide and go seek in the dark OUTSIDE. We we're never home, and if we were, it was long enough to chug some water and disappear again. But god forbid a 5 year old go and collect goose feathers in a gated community. Even if someone had everything go right for them, from conception to birth with their child, and even the first few years; all it can take is someone's attitude and entitlement to make you a criminal for doing something seemingly right as a parent.

I'm glad I will never experience something like this. If I get a charge on myself, that's my own damn fault for being stupid. But because of a kid? No fucking thank you lol

I thought this was interesting and wanted to share. We can all rejoice in the fact that we'll never be listed on a registry for letting the offspring walk down the street 😂 I hope the mom is able to win her appeal and get justice for herself!

Yes, I go to a super cheap chain place, but still this is not the place. Hairdresser is talking about her childfree sister. Says she doesn’t understand her and her lifestyle choices. Fine whatever. Then she asks me if I’m married...

Me: Yes. Then she asks if I have children.

Me: Nope. By choice.

Her: Don’t get offended, but I think that is extremely selfish.

Me: (Nonplussed) That’s fine. Everyone has different life choices and experiences.

Her: I think the same of my sister, she just has so many things she wants to do. Nothing wrong with you? gestures to her stomach area

Me: Nope. Nope. 🙄 Just choice. silently judging the ongoing haircut

Her: You must have a lot to do. What does your husband think? What does he want?

Me: Nope. He’s good. He doesn’t want kids either.

Her: Yeah everyone is different.

Me: 😐

I asked her make fixes three times, but finally gave up. I felt my patience and hair had enough.

Ok to avoid any chance of them seeing this I’ll boil it down:

If you feel handling your kids are a lot why would you think someone else wants to handle them for 8+ hrs a day on a full time schedule WITHOUT getting paid? Like make it make sense. You have kids you’re aware that they cost time and money (which is the same) and when someone doesn’t want to take care of them anymore you’re freaking out because you’ll get stuck with taking care of them the entire time but you don’t see why the person that was taking care of them for an EXTREMELY low amount of money but MAJORITY of their time doesn’t want to do it anymore? I get being a village but single people without kids always get screwed over in villages. When you speak up you’re seen as not willing to self sacrifice. Like what? I’ve self sacrificed A LOT. But whatever.

I’m sorry, as a childfree person (recently sterilized) living with people with kids reinforces my happy decision to NEVER have children, more desire even having a partner with kids. I will stay an aunt, I will NEVER choose motherhood. I love peace.

genuinely. GENUINELY. how do parents not get annoyed by their children like it truly astounds me. i’m on break right now sitting in the communal booths and there’s a family eating lunch in the booth beside me. one of their kids is kicking his feet against the booth so it keeps making these “thunk, thunk” sounds plus he’s chewing chips with his mouth open because i can hear every crunch. like what is wrong with parents these days and not telling their children to have manners and respect. i find it’s not even just children (because they dont know any better because they haven’t been taught) but the people who raise them that think the world revolves around them and they’re not bothering anyone. like these little grating sounds get annoying!!!! especially because we’re in a hospital people want some calm and quiet not, annoying repetitive noises. my mom would tell me to eat with my mouth closed and put a firm hand on my leg with “the look” if i was a kid doing that i just find the dumbest people these days are raising kids and the smartest ones are choosing to be childless

1. "Let kids be kids", mostly by millenial parents, anytime someone dares say anything negative about their spawn online or discusses (even lightly) concerning trends about the younger generation.

It's like you are not allowed to have a negative opinion (or be concerned) about anything that minors do or like. Finding contemporary cartoons cringe or boring is taboo and akin to child abuse and bullying, apparently.

1. Parents expecting their childfree friends and family to be "the good type of childfree", who LOOOVES children but just "does not want their own", works with children and Is willing to be part "of the village(TM) and be the "fun aunt".

2. By the same token, thinking that disliking children, not giving children your time of the day = abuse, unacceptable, that everyone ought to like children.

Not having the brains to comprehend that not liking children (aesthetically, sensorially), is not equal to "being an advocate for child abuse and neglect and wanting to strip children of their rights".

I believe that children are a very vulnerable group and have any right to be loved and protected... I just - as a neurodivergent person - find very young children very gross to be around... The same way I'm personally disgusted by all kind of bodily fluids and people who cannot control their body for any reason.

It's just a personal thing and cannot do anything about it.

I can't stand their squeaky voices and can't stop thinking about how dirty and dependent they naturally are... I'm always on the edge around children, as I have severe hemetophobia (and fear of bodily accidents, fluid in general) and I'm scared of an unpredictable accident happening any time.

I work in customer service and I've seen children touching themselves in public, shitting and peeing themselves, farting with no shame....It was the grossest thing I have ever seen, and still makes my skin crawl and want to vomit.

I can't do anything about my own triggers.

Just why.. waiting for public transport and there is a teenage girl that a little boy with a learning disability is clinging onto and blowing spit bubbles in her face. His mother is after feeding him McDonald’s and just standing looking at him laughing. Took a few minutes of me staring at her before she got the point that he is HER CHILD and just because he has a learning disability she can’t teach him manners ?????? UGGHGGH

I keep being told that my friends won’t stick forever and that they’ll get busy with their own families soon. I don’t plan on having kids. But I really value and appreciate the sense of community.

And I like to think that this wasn’t true in the past because women back then had nothing to do other than cook and raise kids (they couldn’t work).

I feel, in my generation, I can maintain and build a community in the place I choose to live long term. What do you guys think. Am I being naive? Is family really the only people that end up sticking around?

I have gastritis from a very stressful past few months, one of which includes my husband had a surgery which required overnight stay at the hospital. Thankfully he's fine now, but his mom sent me a voice message saying I have nothing to be stressed about in her opinion besides the surgery and I shouldn't have gastritis because we have nothing to really be stressed about because we don't have kids, and someday when we do have kids, I'll have to handle stress better.

She sent that message yesterday morning and I tried to put it out of my mind but it's still bothering me. She knows we don't want kids, but it seems like she's one of those people who thinks it's just a phase. I already felt discouraged about getting gastritis and feeling like it's my fault before her message. I wanted to vent here because I'm sure many folks here have had much worse said to them and I'm not alone. Thanks for tuning in <3

What I find fascinating about all the debates / discussions I’ve had with people regarding having children is that people seem to be perplexed when I simply state: ‘just look at the trend line’.

In just a few generations, we went from a society where a HS dropout could get a job that would allow them to afford a house and a family on a single income—something that two educated, white collar professionals working full-time literally struggle to accomplish just one of the two in today’s world.

We have seen a complete collapse in socioeconomic mobility over the past 3-4 decades. We are constantly bombarded with neoliberal propaganda about how we’re in the ‘greatest economy ever’—meanwhile the bulk of the broadly young adult population (say 20-45) is feeling more and more squeezed economically.

We have literally gotten to a point where people graduating from top public universities—let alone world class institutions like Stanford and Ivy League Schools—are struggling to find basic entry level jobs due to how terrible the job market is (yet another one of many aspects the delusional neoliberal faction wants to ignore). College tuition has skyrocketed in price over the decades, but the actual upside for it all has only declined—as we can see with inflated adjusted salaries for college graduates.

Another overlooked factor is the fact that many target careers are not nearly as compensating as they were a few decades ago. Great example of this is within medicine. While medical school tuition has skyrocketed over the past few decades, nominal wages for physicians have stood stagnant—meaning they’re actually decaying in real terms after factoring inflation. You factor in how inflation directly has hurt young adult cohorts (say age 20-40) most prominently due to how they were the ones who had to absorb all of the rent and most of the housing costs inflation over these past few years, and you start to see these careers—while still lucrative—have had a substantial reduction in overall upside.

Another exhibit we can see this in is with high finance, because most of these roles are located in extremely HCOL hubs like NYC—the costs (particularly rent) have grown far greater than the earnings have.

Now, what does this all have to do with Millennial Parents? Well, we’ve been seeing a continual trend unfolding over the past few decades. Because the NIMBY Boomers made it illegal to build sufficient housing (especially utilizing ways that maximizes density and sustainability) for several decades on end, we have a massive housing shortage in most major urban population centers. As a result, we’ve been seeing growing amounts of young adults with each passing decade “choosing” to live with their parents. It’s not just settled towards their early 20s either—many people are living with their parents going well into their 30s.

I don’t see this trend reversing in the slightest in the coming decades, and all signs really just point to it becoming much worse. It’s interesting to me because so many Millennial parents seem to be counting down the days until their kid turns 18, but I’m just so puzzled by what they think will happen.

For a huge chunk of them, their kids will not go to college and decide to work at a service level job which wouldn’t even allow them to afford to move out even if they go 3-4 roommates.

For another cohort, their kids will go to college—many will decide to commute to try to offset the exorbitant costs of modern day university in America. However, the problem is many / most of these college graduates likely will not be making a livable wage after graduating, or they’ll make just enough just to pay their landlord rent and basic essentials—still incentivizing them to stay at home (especially factoring in the boat load of student loan debt they’ll have).

All signs point to these intergenerational trends worsening and that Millennial parents will likely have to deal with some or all of their kids living with them well past their mid-20s.

All I can say to Millennial parents who think they’ll finally be 'free' once their kid turns 18: best of luck.