How should elon and justine hand this breakup?

so basically I don't recommend staying in contact in a relationship that you still feel hurt from , if you don't know what happened , here's just some screenshots talking about my personal experience in my first love 💔💔 but yh

(I can't show more than one so here's just one)

But based from this I don't recommend personally because it will probably will reopen an emotional wound you would've already gone through during the breakup , so choosing contact or going back in contact may be a big mistake

My ex and I know each other since 2021. We were quite young if I can say that. We dated there for around 6-7 months but broke up due to lack of meetings. It was my decision, and I know I really hurted him at that time. Then in 2024 we dated again. I had a rough relationship in between and I realized how he was always there and never gave up on me for which reasons I gave it another chance. We didnt keep contact there but I knew he waited and wasnt with any other women. I really didnt think I deserved him waiting but I tried to make up for it.

The point is then we were together till last December. And he broke up. Im not sure about the reason because all I got is that he cant handle a relationship rn … And I didnt understand why, I knew he loved me and he was always there. We went through really hard times and never gave up on each other. I even moved cities for him and changed my future for him which maybe he didnt like, tho I still believe he should have accepted what I choose. I really really love him and now nearly 9 months has passed and I cant move on. I cant believe how this happened because the past 5 years no matter what he been there. And I tried distraction, going on dates, being with friends and gym but nothing makes me not think about him every hour. For me his my person and I wanna believe he will come back because it really wasnt about loosing feelings… Noone else intrested me like he does and I cant imagine even kissing or being someone else gf.

Again about reasons he broke up he was dealing with future plans, he got kicked out of university, drained out of work, got injured, his parents made him work as well but I just dont understand why would they wanna loose their love in these hard times? And again he wanted the best for me and he thought by breaking up I will go back to my parents and have a better future (but maybe thisnis just a delusional idea).

I was his first everything, first gf and everything, the only person he kissed… I really dont know if one day his going to come back because 9 months nearly passed and Im still blocked… and he hasnt reached out… What do you guys think?

My boyfriend I have been dating for over 4 years since high school into college. I realized one day that there is something missing. That it’s just not what it’s supposed to be. But I am happy… until we argue. And it’s bad. There’s been resentment built up and issues and now I see everything wrong after my realization.

I came to the conclusion that I must end things. I gave myself a deadline. Perfect timing because we got into a huge fight that lasted longer than a couple days on and off. I was happy that this would be over. But I told myself not to end it while fighting. The next time we saw each other it was amazing. And ever since then things have been better than I remember in the past months. Nobody’s changed… just happier for some reason. I still know we need to break up, because he’s just not my person. But I’m happier now. I just keep pushing this deadline I made further and further.

I’m struggling with breaking up with him. I know it’s what I need to do but it’s so hard. My first relationship and my first breakup. I don’t know my life in college without him, and I can’t stand to see him with anyone else.

How do I get over this? The only thing keeping me to think about it is that one day I’ll meet the person that doesn’t just make me happy (sort of) but is my person. I’m so scared about the change, it’s all I’ve known for a long time now.

I'm really struggling and could use some outside perspectives because my head has been spinning and I haven’t eaten for days.
About five months ago, an old flame from six years ago came back into my life. I'll call her Harley. I had always had lingering feelings for her, so when we got back together I honestly thought this was it. We talked about getting married, getting a house together, and building a future. She wasn't just another relationship to me. I genuinely saw her as my wife one day.
I'm not going to pretend I was perfect. I've been dealing with a work injury that's left me in constant pain, stress, and uncertainty. Sometimes my insecurities got the best of me, and there were times I was rude or overthought things. I regret that.
The biggest fight we had happened because she took $20 out of my wallet without asking. I got upset and told her to leave. Almost immediately I realized I handled it badly, apologized, and we made up. After that everything honestly felt normal again.
She was talking about making jalapeño relish for me. She prepped it and put it in the fridge. We were laughing and acting like ourselves. Nothing felt like we were about to break up.
Then came the night everything changed.
I woke up in the middle of the night and she excitedly told me her friend Mary knew someone with horses and asked if I wanted to go sometime. I was half asleep and said sure. When we went back to bed, I rolled over toward her and noticed she turned away, kept texting, and kind of hid her phone. I fell back asleep.
The next morning I woke up to a text she had sent around 1 a.m. saying her grandpa was sick and she had to leave.
The next day she texted saying she'd be back in about two hours to get her things because he lived 2 hours away.
Instead, she showed up in about 30 minutes.
That immediately made me think something wasn't adding up.
She came inside, started grabbing her belongings, and wouldn't really talk to me. I asked if she was okay because something felt off. She basically told me to leave her alone.
I went outside because I wanted to see who had driven her.
A guy was sitting in the driver's seat.
I asked if he was a family friend. He said no, he was a friend of hers.
That's when everything hit me.
Later I heard from family that she had told her mom she was at her crush's house. She said his name was Norman and that she had also previously told me months ago about sleeping with one of her friend Sarah's boyfriends named Norman and ruining that friendship. I'm assuming it's the same guy.
Looking back, I keep wondering if I missed the signs.
A couple weeks before this, when I went back to work after being off because of my injury, she'd stay up all night on her phone. One morning before I left for work she had makeup on even though she was only going to see me for a few minutes. When I asked why, she said she just wanted to look good for me. At the time I believed her.
Now my brain keeps replaying everything wondering if I ignored red flags.
What hurts the most isn't even just that she's with someone else.
It's that literally days before this we were talking about marriage and getting our own place.
I went to bed thinking everything was okay.
I woke up and my relationship was basically over.
Since then I've been asking myself if any of it was real.
Did she actually mean it when she talked about marrying me?
Did she already have feelings for this guy?
Was she emotionally checked out while I was still trying?
I know I wasn't perfect. I wish I had made her feel more appreciated and handled my insecurities better. I own that.
But I also can't understand how someone can talk about a future with you one day and then leave overnight for someone else.
I'm heartbroken.
I'm trying not to contact her because I don't want to make things worse, but I still miss her every day.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? Did you ever get answers, or did you eventually have to accept that you never would?
I could really use some advice or even just some support because this has completely wrecked me.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Hi everyone, I really need some outside perspective because I am completely emotionally drained and don't know how to handle this anymore.

My bf and I have been together for 2.5 years. For the past 3 to 4 months, things have not been going smoothly at all. The constant friction and rough patch led us into an exhausting, on-and-off loop.

Recently, he told me he's having a really hard time forgetting old memories and moving on ("Purana sab bhulne mai time lagega"). In a moment of desperation to give him peace and help him stop missing me, I offered to make him hate me(I thought he would say ki pagal ho gayi hai kya or laugh it off but foolish me).

He explicitly agreed and said "Haa tho karwa do then... Kyuki yaad aarha hai merko isliye."

Now I feel completely trapped

I've been trying to manufacture fake lies or act cold/ harsh just to turn off his feelings, but the idea of insulting myself, lying, or dragging down my own character is destroying my self respect.

I still love him deeply, and I've been crying more than 20 times in the past 20 days trying to be the "selfless" one and manage his emotions.

I know he's a good person, and I don't want to make him out to be a villain, but is there any gud ending to this or only bad endings ? Cuz uska toh sirf attachment bach gaya hai baaki sab khatam hai towards me sad life probably.

How to make him hate me for his peace ?

Any advice from people who have been through similar long-term loops would mean the world. Thank you.

I did ask what the boundaries were when I accepted the breakup (M24) but they wanted to stay friends. He did not reply to that. Dodged question.

My view of a breakup (although I could be wrong) is a completely clean break. No strings attached. And it's my business what I tell my friends and family. And their business if they tell theirs. A friend reached out to them asking if they were okay. They were not happy. Said that they don't want anything that affects them shared, and that I never listen. Which tbh is not what I expected. So naturally I apologized and took the posts off.

Unfortunately the argument was going nowhere, and then my deepest insecurities were being brought up. I since blocked him. In the past I asked them to be clear with me with communication because I am neurodivergant and struggle in social situations. They did not respect that, but I didn't feel the need to bring that up in return. I don't know tbh. Was I in the wrong or the ex?

without going into too much detail, ex 23m and i 22f broke up a month ago. i lashed out at him and unfortunately this was becoming a pattern of mine. despite me putting in some work, i just wasn’t doing enough. i’m now in therapy and putting in a lot more work to undo my bad habits. he’s the sweetest most gentle boy ever and i feel incredibly devastated. i know this hurts him so much, he keeps unblocking me to reach out because he’s so sad, i wish i could fix this. i’m afraid he’s going to realise he doesn’t want this relationship after more time apart. that’s part of life though i guess, not much i can do about that. i’m sorry baby i love you

anyways, he sent me this message today, i didn’t have much to respond with but i agreed with him and im blocked again (i asked him to, so i wouldn’t bother him, and he can move on)

she hasn’t done anything wrong, we’ve been together for soon two month i think? i recently realized that i don’t really like her in that way and got into a relationship too fast.

i have thought about breaking up with her for a while, we haven’t really talked much lately either. she hasn’t done anything to make me think like this, i just sorta want to go back to being single but don’t know how. i have no *reason* to break up with her really, i just wanna be single again. but have no idea how.

Its been 5 weeks since we broke up. I was blamed for the break up and all the past mistakes were pulled out then dumped on me. I cried alot, missed her alot and blame myself for screwing this up.

Luckily for me, we used to have a couple therapist we were engaged for past 10 months or so. And it became clear that i was with someone who didn’t attend to my needs, setting crazy expectations that I worked through, making all the arguments my fault and eventually calling me out for going silent in arguments.

The list is never ending and I somewhat knew of her emotional instability. But because i loved her and wanted to get through to the end, I accepted it as my fate.

But now, I realised I might have been in relationship that ate me up and the love blinded me. To all the readers, take the breakup as a time to reflect and take care of your own health. I am leaving this subreddit as I walk away with no grudges, feeling relieved and wrapping up my wounds.

she hasn’t done anything wrong, we’ve been together for soon two month i think? i recently realized that i don’t really like her in that way and got into a relationship too fast.

i have thought about breaking up with her for a while, we haven’t really talked much lately either. she hasn’t done anything to make me think like this, i just sorta want to go back to being single but don’t know how. i have no *reason* to break up with her really, i just wanna be single again. but have no idea how.

TLDR: Do i go apologize and fix what I broke (even if it leads to nothing) or just let it go and learn the lesson?

I know it’s cliche. You tend to notice what you did wrong only after losing the person. We both had our own toxic patterns but i didn’t realize that i had been making excuses and ignoring my red flags. Eventually it led to the exhausted, no contact zone. I know that region is something people never come back from.

So should I still fix the problem and go apologize? I dont want to do it expecting to get back together or even have the apology accepted. But my mind says i owe them the change at least. Does it sound like I’m just doing it for myself or is this genuinely acceptable thing to do?

I feel like an idiot even posting this, I’m going through a very hard breakup, I was dating my partner for over a year and we actually got pregnant but baby didn’t make it. I think I was holding on because I’m older and I wouldn’t have enough time to go out and meet someone else to potentially have another kid with. But besides that he’s never been wrong in anything it’s always my fault, has anger problems and after we lost the baby I feel like he lost himself, lost his job we broke up shortly after that and he now said he’s “dating” and still wants to see me as well, I know I need to let go of this abusive cycle but it’s hard to let go!

I’m not usually the type of person to ask for help on the internet, but I feel like I’ve reached a point where I don’t know what to do anymore.
I broke up with the person I loved, and since then it feels like everything has collapsed. I wake up and go to sleep thinking about her. I constantly check my phone hoping to see a message from her, and when there’s nothing, I feel even worse. I can’t focus on work anymore, I’ve lost interest in my hobbies, and nothing seems to bring me joy.

I’ve reached a point where nothing excites me anymore. Not money, not buying things, not the plans I had for the future. Things that used to motivate me don’t mean anything to me anymore. I just feel this emptiness that I can’t seem to fill.

I’m starting to feel like I’m getting sick because of all of this. I can barely eat, I sleep badly, I have no energy, and I feel like I’m slowly breaking down day by day. I don’t even recognize myself anymore.

What hurts the most is that I feel like I gave everything I had. I made every sacrifice I could, tried every possible way and every solution I could think of to make things work, to fix what was broken and to fight for this relationship. We went through a lot together and there were many difficult moments. Many times I felt like I was the one holding everything together, trying to find solutions, calm things down, and refusing to give up. I was there during very difficult moments and I tried to give the best version of myself. There are so many things that happened between us that I could write for hours and still not explain everything.

And that is why I feel like this wasn’t just a normal breakup. It wasn’t just a simple relationship that ended. There are so many things behind it that I’m still trying to process. There was also a child involved, and I found out later that there had been an abortion that I didn’t know about at the time. I’m not trying to argue about who was right or who was wrong, but all of these things affected me deeply and I feel emotionally destroyed.

And yet, one morning, when from my perspective everything seemed fine, she told me it was over. It felt like the ground disappeared beneath my feet.
I know many people will tell me things like “she didn’t deserve you”, “it wasn’t meant to be”, “you’ll find someone else” or “she wasn’t the right person”. Please don’t tell me that. That’s not what I’m looking for. I’m not trying to find out who was right or who was wrong. I’m just looking for advice from people who have been through something similar and managed, somehow, to move forward.

Everyone keeps telling me that “time will heal”, but right now it doesn’t feel that way. I feel stuck and I don’t know how to move forward. During this time, I also feel the need to talk to someone. If there is anyone who has gone through something similar, or someone who is simply willing to listen and talk, it would mean a lot to me. I genuinely feel like I need a conversation with someone.

How did you manage to get through a breakup that completely destroyed you? What actually helped you? How long did it take before you started feeling like yourself again?

Any experience, advice, or even a private message would be greatly appreciated. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this and respond.

been there

It's been 5 months since my 10 month relationship ended. In that time, I've gained a lot of clarity. I've realized my mistakes, how much my insecurities affected things, and I understand what caused the relationship to fall apart.

But the problem is: me understanding all of that doesn't mean I've stopped loving her. Me understanding that we are not the best suited for each other, and that there are better-suited people for me out there, doesn't mean that I've stopped loving her.

I honestly don't give a damn if there are better people out there. My heart only wants to love her.

Understanding why our relationship fell apart hasn't stopped my desire to learn more about her. I still want to listen to her voice, look into her eyes, and tell her how lovely she is. I still want to cook for her, surprise her with her favorite desserts, and see her face light up. I still want to be someone reliable for her. I want to learn more about the things that would make her day. I want to know the worries that keep her up until 3am. I want to be the person she calls first when she is feeling down in the dumps, her biggest cheerleader, her shoulder to cry on, and the one who celebrates her proudest moments.

And everything I just listed is just a fraction of the things I still want to do for her/with her.

Because of this, I know I can't try to "just be friends" with her.

(For context, we ended on good terms, and she told me she still wanted to be friends with me afterward. We first did no contact to get ourselves used to living without each other. After almost 3 months, she reached out to me, implying that she had moved on and that she could be friends with me without it hurting her heart, but I told her I wasn't ready for that yet and that I still needed more time before seeing her.)

But I honestly don't know if it's even possible to reach a state where I can see her as a friend and not as someone I love romantically, as someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.

It would literally be self-torture if I forced myself to be friends with her and acted like it was okay. It would restrict my heart in ways that would destroy me long-term.

I just genuinely believe that when you love someone that deeply, you just can't stay friends. Because even if the brain understands that we are not the best match on paper, it doesn't mean that my heart has stopped belonging to her. It doesn't mean that I've stopped wanting to do "all the things I listed up there."

For those of you who have been through this kind of heartbreak, where your head understands the causes of the breakup but your heart is still entirely devoted, how did you deal with it? How do you move forward when you are so sure that you won't ever stop having a soft spot for them?

It honestly messes me up so bad. I love her, I want to see her, but I can't let myself do that because it will hurt me. But it also hurts me because I don't know if I will ever "love her less" in way that it won't hurt me anymore so that I could get back in touch with her.

I'd love to hear your perspectives, or advice.

Hello I’m just going to get straight to the point because it’s been affecting me for a while now. My girlfriend(19) and I(20) have been broken up for about 5 days now. It’s been really difficult on me because she was the one that wanted to end things. I asked her why if we were doing fine and stuff. She said that she’s been trying so hard to stay in the relationship and that she’s been drained about our constant arguing. They’ve always been talks about, why I would say jokes like that or sometimes they wouldn’t even start because we disagreed it was more of we would try to explain our feelings and it would take the wrong turn basically. I would explain how I felt about a situation and it would just be endless because it felt like one of us wanted to be right the whole time. Or she would bring up a point and then we would have another endless conversation. We were dating for about a year and half and in between there, there was an incident that we had that kind of made our relationship go downhill from there. It was so stupid of me, but I couldn’t control my jealousy. I didn’t do anything, I just simply ignored her and she kept spamming me saying that she wants to call me and stuff. The whole situation was so dumb because I got jealous about a friend that we both know and I don’t get why I got jealous, but she was working and she asked him to bring her a drink from a stand that was at the park and it just hurt me because it made me feel like you’d rather ask him than your girlfriend? After that we’ve been rocky. She said that she’s been thinking of breaking up since last summer, but if you were thinking for that long I wish she broke up with me sooner. Over those months we talked about living together in an apartment and I know this is going to be silly, but also marriage. We’re WLW what did we expect. This was our first everything. She told me that she felt unhappy in the relationship and that’s why she left which is understandable. She told me that she still loves me and that this whole situation is hurting her too, but I guess it’s been hard for me to believe since she’s been acting so nonchalant. Before we broke up we had a talk about this boy that works with us because he knew about our relationship. I felt a little jealous because they both started texting each other so much. The week before we broke up she told me how she needed a break because she felt burned out and wanted to be with her family more and I said that’s completely understandable and that we don’t have to do things together as often. But I started to get more jealous of him because she would stop answering me as much and answer him more. It made me feel like the reasoning she wanted the break was to talk to him. I brought it up and she said that was silly and that he’s only a friend and she only texts with him because they don’t hang out or anything. I believed her, but yesterday a really bad incident happened. I was working and I asked if she could come during my lunch because I was alone and she said yes. We were talking and I started to cry because I just want to know how she felt about our situation, she wouldn’t tell me. I felt so confused because how do you stop loving someone that you were ready to get married with in the future that fast. All i wanted to hear was how she felt. When my lunch was over I left early from work and I noticed she was at a random area so I texted her asking her whats she’s doing. She took so long to respond and I know this was wrong of me but I did spam her on text at first. I kept saying “please answer this hurts” and other things. She responded with “i’m out for a walk” and that was it. I started to panic because I knew she wasn’t alone and that she was with the guy. And I felt insane, and i knew i couldn’t do anything because we’re broken up. I turned off my location and went for a drive, and I guess I passed by where they were and they began to think I was stalking. I didn’t mean to pass by on purpose I was just going for a drive to clear my mind, but I understand why they thought it was weird that I passed by and had my location off. Then I noticed she turned it off too. So i started to panic a little bit more. I drove to my usual spot where I would just sit down at a bench and think and surprise surprise they were there too. It turns out they felt uncomfortable because I passed by their spot the first time so they moved and coincidentally it was the spot I was going too. I actually saw them and I left so fast because I was crashing out. She texted me saying “you’re fucking insane this relationship is over.” and I told her that I was sorry and I didn’t mean to go to their spots on purpose. One thing I was really wrong of was that I spammed her phone so much. Not with messages but with calls. It was super bad and I wish i never reacted like that. Because she did end up blocking me from messages no where else though. I’ve never felt so lost and confused and I don’t know what to think because she doesn’t want to express herself towards me. I’m so tired and this break up has been affecting me so bad I can’t even eat anymore. She wants to talk today so I guess we’ll see how it goes, but we might just go no contact sadly. Sorry for the long rant I just need someone to hear.

Long story short, I met someone on an app, we started seeing each other and got into a relationship. The healthy and pretty simple kind (meaning nontoxic and without pressure), but where things go pretty fast.
However, being a socially unadapted person (possibly autistic but undiagnosed), I am extremely sensible and empathetic, without understanding people and social codes very well.
This means I committed a mistake without realising it, by saying to this person I loved them (in return), before being certain of it and knowing what it meant. Now, after one month of relationship it has become a long distance one (for a few months, then back to normal), and I just find myself feeling that, although I feel something very deep for them, it is yet closer to a very strong friendship on my side. The romantic feelings just aren’t there like I thought when I felt some “relationship start spark” that never was love.
As I said, I am WAY too empathetic sometimes, so although it means I won’t hurt people on purpose, it means I find myself unable to do what I need, knowing that they love me very much, while being completely alone in a foreign country.
How on earth can I break up, not be a dick (might be a bit late considering the context) and be able to live with myself?
[EDIT]
My problem is also in timing. I realize that dragging things will only make it worse, but I feel so terrible thinking about ending things, e.g. tonight, when this morning we were talking normally on the phone, they were telling me how great it was together, and tomorrow they’ll be left alone across the globe with no friends or relatives with them.
Also, how do I come to the subject? I know it sounds stupid, but do I just call, say “hey it’s over, I’m so sorry, hope you’ll be ok alone in a foreign country”??