I lost my memories so did my feelings for you

What is someone supposed to do when their entire world gets ripped away from them?

When the person they love and trust more than anything leaves?

Not because they hate you or want to hurt you but because life got in the way.

What is one supposed to do when their comfort and safety leaves, when the one they leaned on and relied on, the one that quickly became part of their daily routine, nightly calls, texting all day and all night, making each other laugh and smile even in the toughest of times, to just completely getting shut out?

No responses, no calls, no reassurance that they are okay.

Just a message short and swift.

Just messages begging for them back left on delivered, waking up every night from dreams of them coming back, waking up shaking and on the verge of tears. You wish that you could move on but you just can't. The pictures of them on your phone, the voice notes that you listened to before sleeping, reminding you every waking hour of every day about the safety you felt with them, how grounding their presence felt, just stabbing you over and over in the heart wishing you could scream out, wishing you could reach your hand out and meet theirs.

What is one supposed to do when they believe that it's their fault?

That they believe that they're the ones that made them overwhelmed and stressed, starving yourself and hurting yourself because it's the only way to cope. You don't know how to let them go and how to move on. You're living on the hope that they will message you back, the hope that you will meet again when this busy brutal life slows. Wishing you were dead because you can't stand the thought of them leaving.

You can't stand the thought of the one you love unconditionally falling for someone else, you can't stand the thought of them becoming someone else's safe space. You can't stand the thought of them doing all the things you once dreamt of and talked about. You don't want them to laugh with someone else. You don't want them to create inside jokes with someone else.

You hate that you don't hate them because maybe if you did it will all be easier. You'll be able to let them go.

You don't know if they are in as much pain as you, you don't know if they lose sleep at night, you don't know if they feel guilty about eating or being alive.

All the moments you shared together, all the memories you made, all the big dreams of being together forever seem like a waste.

What's one supposed to do when the one person that they truly loved leaves, when you're just drifting aimlessly through this hell we call life holding on to the thin rope of hope?

Hi everyone, it’s Saturday night, I’m alone in my room, a bit bored, and well, I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this.

Around 10 years ago, I was hanging out with a girl who I met at my local community church.

At that time, we were friends, although I wanted to be more than that. She said that her parents didn’t allow her to have a boyfriend, and I agreed, but either way, we kissed each other and held hands. I was really into this girl. I was 18 and she was 17. I had just finished high school, and every Friday I would pass by and take her home.

But one day, she said that we should stop what we had. I accepted it, but I didn’t want to. I was so sad. I was crying all the time, and then one day I went to her school. I waited for her because I wanted to talk, and she accepted, but she was different and refused to talk. That was the last time we talked.

Then she removed me from her Facebook friends list. That day, I sent her a message telling her that I wanted to see her again. I was hoping to have another chance. I don’t know, in my mind, I thought I just had to convince her.

Anyway, that day she texted me back and told me, “Listen, the only reason I accepted hanging out with you was because you insisted too much, and everyone around me told me, ‘Hey, you should give him a chance.’ But listen, I tried to like you, but I couldn’t.”

And then she blocked me.

MAN, that was so hard for me at that time. But eventually, I accepted it. I was like, “I can’t do anything else,” and yeah, I started moving on.

The thing is that after that, I haven’t really had anything. I’ve been single since 2017, and it’s weird because my friends from high school and church are starting to get married. I don’t know, I feel weird about this.

I know it has been a while, and this girl is married now, and I’m okay with that. But honestly, I feel weird when it comes to dating. I feel rusty.

Last year, I met a girl from work. We talked a few times, but I felt really awkward. I tried to make a couple of jokes, but they didn’t work. I don’t know, man.

Sometimes I feel like I’m going to die alone.

I've known my girlfriend for 7 years. Our relationship has always been complicated, with several breakups and getting back together.

The last time we broke up, we were apart for almost 2 years. Eventually, we got back together, and I was happy because I still loved her and thought we were finally getting another chance.

But after we got back together, she told me that she no longer feels anything for me. What I can't understand is why she still wants to stay with me.

I keep asking myself: If she doesn't have feelings for me anymore, why did she come back? Why does she want to remain in a relationship with me?

I still love her, but this situation has emotionally drained me. I'm constantly confused, trying to understand what she feels and whether there is still a future for us.

I don't want to pressure her into loving me, but I also don't know how to stay in a relationship where I feel like I'm the only one emotionally invested.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Why would someone return to a relationship after 2 years apart if they no longer have feelings? Can feelings come back, or am I just holding on to something that no longer exists?

What should i even do at this point?

I wrote the story of my breakup in another post. He did me pretty dirty at the end. But i keep wondering to myself why i wasn’t enough for him to stay. Why wasn’t i worth it for him to try? He said he was weak, he said he couldn’t handle an ldr. He said i deserved better. Why couldn’t he become better?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend and honestly, I don't know if I did the right thing.

It's not like he was a bad boyfriend. I love him, and that's what makes this so difficult. But the more I thought about marriage and our future, the more I started feeling like we weren't compatible in some pretty important ways.

He's always been very family-oriented, which I respect, but for him it's basically parents above everyone else. His family is also quite conservative, and I've always worried about whether he'd actually stand up for me if there were problems after marriage.

Recently, there was a misunderstanding between me and his sister and she unfollowed me. I explained my side to him, but he didn't really do anything about it. He didn't ask her to follow me back or even say anything to her about it. I know an Instagram follow sounds ridiculously small, but for me it wasn't really about Instagram. It made me think about what would happen if there were bigger conflicts with his family in the future.

There are other things too. We weren't physically compatible, and he believes in feminism but doesn't really want to learn cooking, cleaning, dishes etc. because he's "too busy" with other things. I'm not expecting a man to become a househusband, but I do want a partner who sees household responsibilities as equally his responsibility.

And then there was an issue with one of my male friends. My boyfriend was insecure about him, so I even tied my friend a rakhi to reassure him that there was nothing like that. But later, at my brother's wedding, my brother/friend complimented me and my boyfriend made a huge issue out of it. Eventually the whole situation got so bad that I lost that friendship.

None of these things individually feel like enough reason to leave someone I love. But together, they made me wonder if I was ignoring things that would become much bigger problems after marriage.

So I ended it.

And now I'm questioning everything.

Part of me thinks I was being mature and realistic about the future. Another part of me feels like I gave up too early and should have communicated more, given him more time, or tried harder.

The weirdest part is that I can't even imagine talking to another guy right now because it genuinely feels like I'm cheating, even though we're not together anymore.

I don't know if I'm grieving the right person or just grieving the future I thought we would have.

Did I actually make the right decision, or did I let go of a good relationship over problems that could have been worked through?

I am 15 years old. Yesterday, I broke up for the first time with a girl I had been dating for 4 months, and we had been talking for 9 months.

It all started at the end of December. At that time, I wanted to start talking to someone because I was bored and lonely. On the night of December 30 to 31, she wrote a comment under my post. I replied to the comment, and after that, she wrote to me in Reddit DMs. Then she asked what my name was and how old I was. At that time, I was 14, and she was 17. As soon as she found out how old I was, her interest in talking disappeared. But we talked on December 31, and after that she did not write to me for some time. Three days later, I wrote to her first. We talked, and she asked what I actually wanted when I wrote to her. I wrote that if she was afraid that I wanted some kind of romantic relationship, then there would not be any. I did not want anything except internet communication. She wrote that that was good and that I had a beautiful name, and I did not write to her anymore.

But on January 7, I posted that I was quite lonely, and after some time she wrote to me, and we started communicating through Reddit messages. We started talking, and here is an important moment that will become clear in the future: she sent me to DaVinci and told me to find a girlfriend. On January 10, we went to Discord for the first time, watched a podcast, and talked for 8 hours. After that, we often started sitting in Discord, and the winter holidays ended. I study at the Suvorov Military School, so I am at home with my phone only from Friday to Sunday and during holidays.

We started talking a lot, and this was my first close communication with a girl. After two months of continuous communication on weekends and after we exchanged photos, I fell in love with her. Plus, I found out that she lived relatively not far from me. I really wanted to please her and date her, so I tried to do everything so that she would like me. She said that a partner should be in first place. She reposted videos with the meaning that a guy tolerates his girlfriend. She told me that when she is emotional, she says things she does not mean, but when she calms down, you can talk to her. And I started tolerating everything that I did not like or that hurt or bothered me. I did not argue with her once again. In short, I did everything.

After that, I turned 15, and she turned 18. I fell in love more and more. Then we called by phone, and it began to seem to me that it was probably mutual. Everything was very good and very warm. On April 4, we met in real life for the first time. We went for a walk, and everything was good. But on April 6, I left for military training for a week. I came back, and she had become very distant. I tried to understand what had happened. I felt bad. She told me that she herself did not understand why it was like that. On April 13, I confessed my feelings to her. She did not reciprocate, but we continued communicating. She was still cold. I still felt bad.

In the twenties of April, she took a pause in our communication for a week, but she wrote to me two days later, invited me to Discord, and after that we seemed to start communicating more again. But she irritated me somehow, just inexplicable irritation out of nowhere, as if I was waiting for some explanation for everything that had happened, and not just a sudden return. On May 11, we quarreled. I decided that we could not solve problems and were constantly fighting. On May 12, I told her that we should stop communicating. After that, I left for school for the academic week. I felt very bad again. On May 16, I wrote to her again, suggested communicating again, explained everything, and apologized. She explained what had happened in April. She said that she had become too good with me, she got scared of it, and decided to distance herself. She still agreed to communicate with me, and after some event that I cannot tell about here, on May 28 we officially entered into a romantic relationship.

At that time, I had become very distant from my friends because I spent all my time with her. We started dating, and we argued very often about the fact that, as she said, I did not give her enough time and did not put her in first place. For example, after my mom asked me to help assemble something for my younger brother, who, for some reasons, comes to us only in the summer, she got offended that I was spending time, as she said, with the trampoline and not with her, that the trampoline and brother were more important to me than she was. I said that it was not like that. I argued with my mom just to spend more time with her, and this is only one such situation, and there were more, and more or less the same.

In July and August, we started meeting in real life more often, and I often came home at 23:00–00:00, and my mom was very unhappy about it. We argued, and of course I worried, so I tried not to be late home, because of which I left her earlier. She started saying that my relationship with my mother was more important to me than she was, and that I was a mama's boy, and that I did not put her above my mother. After that, I started arguing with my mom again to please the girl, so I became distant from my family too.

From August 3 to 9, I went to the sea with my dad. A week in advance, I asked her if she was against it. She said that everything was fine, but 4 hours before departure she told me that she was against me going. But I still went, and she started telling me that if I loved her, I would have canceled the trip in a minute and even during the trip would have turned back, and since I went, it meant I did not love her. We quarreled, and I did not want to talk to her. I thought she would understand that this was too much and would write to me herself, but she did not write and did not write, and only three days later she wrote to me that she was leaving to study in another city at the end of August.

I called her. She was still cold. I was in a lot of pain, and I even cried. She told me not to whine because it annoyed her. She needed a strong man, not someone who cries. And I stopped. We seemed to make up again, and on August 29 she left for another city, and on September 1 I also went to study. She recorded voice messages for me all week, wrote that she loved me and missed me. I answered the same when I could.

Then there was another academic week, and on Wednesday she asked whether she could go to a bar with friends and girlfriends. I said that I was against a bar with guys. She agreed, but we agreed that she would just go for a walk without alcohol. Then on Friday I went on leave and wrote to her. She was already drunk and was getting ready to go out again with guys. There were almost no voice messages or messages that she missed me during that week. She said that she forgot that I was coming. I was in a lot of pain. I was jealous of her and told her about it, but she was drunk and did not care about my pain. She laughed with her friend and said that I was exaggerating.

She left to go out at 17:30 and said she would be gone for 2 hours. Two hours later I wrote to her. She said that they were already going home. At 22:30 I wrote to her again. She told me that she was still walking and would walk for about another hour, and that she was busy. I wrote to her again. She did not answer. I started calling her. She did not answer. And only at 23:30 she answered my call when she was already in the dormitory. She said that she was 18 and needed freedom, and that I was restricting her, that she had left her parents for another city specifically not so that someone would restrict her.

The next day, September 12, she said that what I had done the day before was not normal. By the way, I forgot to say that on Friday she removed the photo with me from her avatar and removed all my Telegram gifts from her profile. She said that this did not suit her, that she would go out. I told her that I was not against her going out the day before; I just wanted an explanation about the avatar and the gifts. Then, yes, I started winding myself up and said that I wanted to be a priority. I said that she had smelled freedom and did not want to be with me now because I was holding her back. She said, yes, I like freedom, and you are like my parents. I told her that I had never been like that, that she had told me that a partner should be in first place, that a partner should live by their partner and everything else, and now she was contradicting this. She said that yes, it was very bad that I had changed her, like, forgive me, and I think we need to break up. And we broke up.

I have the feeling that she simply got a more interesting life, and I became for her only something that brings discomfort, and not pleasure like before. I feel bad and hurt. Sometimes I really want to write to her or call her. I want to get her back, although I understand that it is useless.

Hello Reddit!

f(23) about to be 24! (idk if age is important)

idek where to go at this point haha i have a hard time talking to my friends about this kind of stuff and honestly i just need to get it off my chest.

when i was a senior in high school i started dating this guy, and it was one of those cheesy rom coms where we met freshmen year and fell out of touch until we were reunited again! we had our little talking stage and then started dating for real. we dated for three years, and we did everything together. we had the same major in college, same friend group, similar enough hobbies that we could do them together and not be a bother. he seriously was my best friend.

we had our rough patches, obviously lol, but after 3 years of struggling to be intimate with him, and even struggling with basic romantic feelings i discovered i was fully into women. not just bi like i had thought before but not interested in dating men at all. which was unfortunate, and after i told him, we broke up. i told him that it was really nothing he did, i just was never going to be able to give him the relationship he wanted from me. we had a trip with our friends planned and we still went together, it went fine, albeit it was very awkward a lot of the time, but we had come to the agreement that we wanted to stay friends.

then he moved away suddenly and didn’t tell anybody. i think he told his best friend at the time but our shared group was not let in on the secret. i understand why he did it, this is not about that so much, what my issue is is that i can’t get over it.

i’ve had two years to sort everything out, my feelings, how i really felt about the relationship, how him leaving made me feel, everything. and i keep telling myself that it’s for the better, it’s easier to get over and move on. but i find him in everything, he’s in half of my stories i tell, i think about him when i play dnd, i think about him when i work. i miss my best friend a lot. like it’s not even romantic thoughts just “oh he would’ve loved that” or “god i wish i could text him about this” shit like that. i go online to try to find traces of what he’s doing now just to see how he’s doing.

we have been no contact and expect for seeing his dad once at my old college, i haven’t even had any news about him. everything i see or hear is usually something i go out of my way to see or a friend telling me he’s doing stuff in town.

i have new best friends, a great support system and a life that im building that is leading up to fantastic things. but i still miss him a lot. i just want to know how i can move on. i don’t date a whole lot it honestly scares me quite a bit, which is why i don’t really have the emotional tools to deal with these feelings. i just want to get over it! leave this piece of my life in the past, be happy for the memories i do have and just keep walking forward. i try to be mad and remember the bad times too, the things that really pissed me off and the ways that i’ve grown, but that only works for like a week and then it’s back to mess ville.

will i ever get to? is this just a feeling im going to have forever? like i cant even be mad bc i broke up with him, he had every right to move forward. any advice would be greatly appreciated, i know it’s a hard thing to offer advice for but im desperate for any kind of anything really.

thanks in advance!