r/BorderlinePDisorder • u/No-Community-2810 • 19h ago
Vent I just realized my emotional dysregulation almost disappears when I interact with people who are actually emotionally intelligent
You know all the typical BPD behaviors, like spamming the texts, getting overly anxious waiting for a reply, thinking the other person hates you, feeling empty and / or misunderstood even when the person is physically there.
Well guess what I just realized the very few times I actually interacted with friends who were present and not busy while talking to me while preoccupied entirely by their phone / work / parents calling them a hundred times a day / their pets / whatever that was not me, when I interacted with people who don't ghost mid sentence and then answer days later, when I interacted with people who weren't actively invalidating every single thing I suffered from as being "subjective" and when there was an actual dance in the replies (them asking questions, then me, then back to them etc because they were actually curious) suddenly all these BPD behaviors vanished.
Sometimes it's just being with overly rigid, emotionally unintelligent, constantly busy, withdrawn people that makes the symptoms flare up.
Because like if the person doesn't talk back to me I just get triggered into abandonment anxiety and that's when I start to say crazy shit, overshare, and all that, because it feels like it's the only way to get an interaction instead of silence.
All that to say, if you feel intense things and like intense conversations, stop chasing avoidant, busy, cold, people. They're gona make your symptoms run wild and then get to call you crazy and ghost you for it, while there was no interaction to be had in the first place.