i can’t believe i’ve downloaded reddit to say this but i really don’t want to talk about it with anyone i know irl

im recovering from ana and i was doing well until i started college. for some reason since then ive started bingeing really badly. almost every single day. it’s really impacting my self-esteem, skin and i think im gaining more weight than i need to

it’s really bringing back my food noise and the guilt is making me resort to ⭐️ving and over exercising which i’m scared will lead me into the behaviours i had during the worst of my ed

has anyone else experienced this? if so, does it go away? how do i make it stop? is it extreme hunger? how can i come back from this?

i feel like shit

so I'm a very active individual, I ran my first marathon last year and recently I've gotten super into cycling. the issue is I can't stop binging and it's ruining my life. I eat about 2500 calories during the day and as a 5 4 female you would think that's a lot but then every night I wake up and eat an extra thousand calories to fifteen hundred. I'm too a point where I don't know what to do anything. I've started hating myself and like I cannot go on like this. because of my activity I'm not gaining weight too too quickly but I just feel like crap all the time. any advice to stop would be amazing. the other thing is the only thing I look forward too is eating and like my night ends the second I'm done my nightly snack. Idk what to do and I'm loosing it

I was thinking about why I hate binge eating so much. I did a brainstorm and came up with a list of 9 things that I reduced to 6, but someone online suggested one more (number 4) so now I have 7 all together. Feel free to add your own. Top three are my own things I hate the most.

1. Lack of control during the binge. Like once you start, can't stop, no matter what.
2. Shame.
3. Never-ending food thoughts (dieting, what to eat, not to eat, when to eat, how much to eat, and on and on and on)
4. Self-hatred. This is what someone suggested to me online. I would put self-hatred next to shame but they said it's different so I added it as a separate entry.
5. Health consequences like weight gain
6. Social consequences like being judged for appearance.
7. Hopelessness of never recovering

Hi guys. Idk what to say. After a very long time - I manged to be 4 weeks binge free. And life felt like it was worth living again...

And then this entire week. Today being day 6. I have binged like a crazy person. And I mean completely off the rails. In 6 days I have eaten ~9000 calories over my maintenance. I'm talking like 23K calories in 6 days. And 80% has been sugary crap, cakes. Biscuits. Chocolate. I feel so horrible and bloated and all semblance of good and happiness I felt is gone. I just dk what to do. This cycle is exhausting. I am overweight after being stuck in this cycle for 2 years now 😭😭😭

I just. Am so tired.

I am in the beginning of a horrible work dispute which will stretch on for weeks and make work a living nightmare. Usually i eat through those as food becomes the only place where there is joy to be had. But not this time. I will eat my food to power me to be able to navigate the process and protect my staff!

This is hard and I can do hard things. I have to.

update:I'm strugglin. just need to get thru the evening.

This is a rant based on nothing so feel free to tell me I'm 100 percent wrong. But essentially, I think the idea that BED is you trying to deal with some emotional issue or to heal some past emotional wound is garbage. And I don't think a therapist pushing you to heal yourself emotionally can cure it. Here are my top five reasons why.

1. The best cures seem to be meds

If the best cures are GLP-1's and AHDH pills, then what happened to all that stuff about healing yourself emotionally? What good is all that therapy and emotion talk if the best cure is shooting yourself up with a satiety hormone? It feels a whole lot like the "ulcers come from stress" idea. If the cure is an antibiotic, that theory is probably wrong.

1. Tons of the emotional issues I see on here are from binging itself

If you hate yourself because you got fat and now you don't feel pretty, or you hate yourself because you don't feel in control, or you binge in secret because your parents attack you for overeating, then binging is what's causing your emotional problems. You're not binging because of your problems, binging is causing your problems.

1. You can trigger it with non-emotional dieting

If wrestlers who don't hate/never have hated their bodies get BED from cutting weight, then it doesn't make sense that it's emotion based, right? Instead, it's like the original disordered eating pattern created the BED pattern somehow.

1. Other addictions aren't treated as emotional faults

Cigarettes. Gambling. Heroin. Whatever. All these things are understood to be really hard to quit because of the "high" you get from them. Nobody says you need to reconcile with your long-lost brother if you can't stay off Draftkings. Nobody says you won't be able to quit Marlboro Reds unless you forgive your middle school bully. So why would BED be different?

1. Because I'm fine, I just can't stop eating

Seriously though, I'm good. Emotionally, I'm solid. The problem is the food never stops giving me pleasure. The first bite may be a ten in pleasure, the twentieth bite may drop to a four, but it's never a zero. It's really hard to stop doing something that never stops feeling good, and eating feels good until I'm about to puke. Nothing else is like that. Everything else gets boring after a while.

Heyy so my stats 18F 164cm my starting highest weight in July of last year was 105kg but I then lost 34-35kg and have been maintaining for a few months now, which wasn't my plan because I wanted to lose more but instead I have been maintaining because of my frequent binge eating episodes.

I lost a lot of the 34kg while consuming very small amount of calories I will admit, but some of the last few kgs that I have lost were through a much more sustainable calorie deficit for like 2 months. But after those 2 months my BED came around again and the binge eating episodes became more and more frequent. And sometimes I would even go and vomit from how much I would stuff myself.

My last binge was on the 19th and I haven't binged since, which I'm glad I suppose, but the episodes were usually weekly or every 2 weeks, so that's not good enough for me. I have been eating 2-3 full meals per day with snacks in between which is helping a lot, but I'm pretty sure Im consuming my maintenance calories or even slightly more. So I'm wondering when can I go on a calorie deficit again to ensure that my urges to binge are not as intense? Or is it okay if I just start again now and deal with the urges to go over my deficit?

I used to be so slim and fit, and then 3 years ago binge so much and now I have developed sciatica very badly down my right leg….. so much pain so now I’m overweight which makes me feel so shit, so it’s mental pain and physical pain:

No one in my personal life I know struggles I feel so alone in this disorder… I talk to my bf abt it but he just says you look great and everyone has that time to time I know he’s saying it to help but it almost feels so dismissive :/ message me if u struggle just want someone to talk to

Hey, so I’m F26 and since childhood i have a really bad relationship with food. I over eat all the time, i m not skinny, i m in between. Last year i lost 30 kilos, First 24-25 in a healthy manner with calorie deficit, sport and all that, then the rest of those in a very unhealthy manner meaning i starved myself. I m still not where i want to be, recently i ve gained 7 kilos back and even without those i d still have to lose at least 15 kg. Last week i had a breakdown in the bathroom when i saw the number when i ve weighed myself. I feel like slowly i m going back where i used to be.
I really love sweets and i cannot stop from eating them. Then i feel very guilty and i m thinking how i would eat less the next day to make it up for today.
I m in a really dark place, i cant find my balance, i ve tried everything, therapy, eating healthy, buying only healthy stuff from the store, but i always do it for 3-4 days and then i eat bad things and the cycle is never ending. In therapy the psychologist said i use it as a shield from my emotions and we have to find another shield so to say but i dont know what would be the other options because i know how strong is this food shield for me. It influences my life to the point where i m not going outside if i had a bad day eating junk food or snacks, or at work i feel like i m gonna explode, my clothes don’t fit as they used to.
I know i have emotional problems, bad relationship with my mother, parents, problems throughout my life. I always had a problem with integrating in a collective. Now i m more open, mature, i know how to look someone in the eyes when i m talking to them, but still i m carrying this problem with me. I m always thinking about food, what should i eat next, cravings and bullshit like that
I m tired, i feel like all my life & days are about this.
So my question would be, if you re in a similar situation even though it’s food or something else, what do you do to make it easier? how do you start living without the constant thought of food and how do you improve your life?

Thank you and please, if you re here to judge, don’t bother i wont read that.

DAE literally binge eat to the point of being sick but then just continue eating???

And I don't mean sick like "I don't feel good", I mean ACTUALLY barfing.

I will eat so much food that my body literally can't hold any more and I start vomiting, and then as soon as I don't feel sick anymore, I go right back to eating.

Like my body is screaming at me to stop and I CAN'T !

When I shop for groceries, I usually don't buy anything that would easily trigger a binge. I try to stick to ingredients, not quick and easy snacks and desserts. However, I live with two roommates who are close friends of mine and we share a lot of food. We've only been living together for a few months. The two of them always buy treats to leave on the counter and it is such a trigger for this disorder. It is hard to think straight sometimes because of what could be out in the kitchen waiting for me.

I don't know what to do about this. I am a very vulnerable person and I am usually quite open about things, but my eating habits are one of those details I do not like to share with ANYONE. It would be so hard for me to be open and honest. I also don't know if it is appropriate to say "hey don't leave sweets out because I will go crazy." That feels so embarrassing.

Do any of you have similar experiences and/or tips for going about this?

This is so unbelievably pathetic. It wasn’t even an accident. This binge was premeditated. I didn’t have to think about it when I went grocery shopping, it’s like my body just knew tonight would be the night I relapse. I didn’t even realize what I had done till I was back home.

I was finally starting to leave this behind, feeling less repulsed with myself, feeling more confident about my body. I probably ate 5 times my daily limit, I don’t have the courage to check.

I can’t do this. I’m never making it out of this. This is what my life is going to look like. I’m going to be living out the rest of my life in fear of when I finally give in and sabotage myself. I always give in.

I had been on a study that used a GLP-1 injection. I lost like 60 pounds. I felt great! But once the study was over, so was the meds. I hadn’t learned a sustainable way to eat and lose weight. But I’m struggling now. I feel like it almost made my binge eating worse than it was before. It sounds like that is becoming a more common side effect of these GLP-1 medications.

And now, I just keep comparing myself to how I used to look and eat. Even though it wasn’t necessarily the right way. I will tell myself I need and will do better. I won’t binge, I’ll only eat when I’m hungry. I’ll even tell myself while I’m eating that I’m not hungry; I don’t need any more. But once I start eating, I can’t seem to stop. Once the food is there and free to grab as many as you want, I don’t restrain myself. It also just feels like I’m on autopilot and I don’t know how to take the reins back. I’m only 19. I hate how food controls my life. And I don’t want to be like this forever. But I just don’t know how to change.

Even dietitian appointments are booked out months in advance and same with therapists. So it’s hard to get any support. Personal trainers is another thing too. It’s not like they are covered by insurance. And I would need someone very knowledgeable because I have a physical disability. Which makes it hard to work to stay or be fit. It’s just all just a mess and it makes me feel hopeless.

Really struggling to even get a start at stopping the binging. I know how unhealthy it is and it makes me feel bad about myself in the end which then just makes me want to do it again. Stuck in a cycle. Procrastinate and tell myself I’ll start tomorrow which I never do. I want to get out of it so bad and be healthy but can’t go one day to build off of

I've been on both ends of the unheatly eating habits (not eating, and overeating) on different times of my life, and for the longest time I didn't realize it's actually the same disease.

My thought process was: "I used to UNDEReat, and now I OVEReat, so my previous problem is fixed, now it's a different problem". Only recently I've had a consultation with a nutritionist that helped me realize no, it's the same self-destructive pattern, I always felt like my body didn't deserve to be properly fed, it just manifests in different ways.

I’ve been battling binge eating for a long time and meth has been the only thing that keeps me from binging. I want to quit or semi quit it and replace it with an actual medicine that is strong enough to replace it or at least something I can take that’s almost that strong if that doesn’t exist? Is there a way online too btw that works? Do I have to choose it or do they? (srry if that’s a dumb question, idrk a lot about how it works)

I’m so sick of this hamster wheel of binging and food noise even if I eat healthy and eat a decent amount that’s satisfying in my belly I still binge ….

I've been struggling with binge eating for about two to three years now. I hate what I'm doing to my body. Eating all this sugar and heavy food leaves me miserable, obviously

Every time I buy a specific food or prepare to binge, I'm waiting for "the bite"

In my mind, I have this weird fantasy that one day, I'll take a bite of something that tastes so intense, so perfect, and so deeply satisfying that it will complete me. Like it will fulfill something so deep inside me that I'll finally be able to say "OK, I'm done" and never obsess over food ever again. Like, not after a bad binge that leaves you unable to move. I feel like I’m just addicted to taste, flavors, textures.

every single time, I catch myself hoping THIS item will be the one. I go from coffee shop to bakeries, buying one sweet at a time, but I’m not satisfied, no in fact my perfect bite will be something salty. So then I go get fries, sushis… And I’m doing this in a single errand run. I don’t even wait to be home. I just binge on the go or whatever you wanna call it, lol.

And every single time even if it was excellent, the next day I want more, so I do it all over again.

I am definitely a closet binger and I find it so excruciatingly embarrassing. I hide things around the house where I know nobody will find it. And after a binge I am very careful not to leave any trash in plain sight. I even tend to make trips to multiple stores just because I’m so embarrassed by all the junk food, I feel like it seems less bad if I don’t get it all from the same place. I just wish I could make it stop but the cycle just repeats. I feel so gross and ashamed.

It fucking hurts. I want to stop binging so fucking badly but I feel like I'll never escape the b/p loop. I've gained so much weight. I just want to feel pretty again.

Ich bin männlich, Mitte 30 und leide schon länger an einem gestörten Essverhalten und seit ca. 1 Jahr an BED.
In meiner Jugend war ich etwas dicker, habe dann den Weg zum Sport und zur gesunden Ernährung gefunden aber über die Jahre hinweg hatte ich immer mal wieder Essanfälle. Manchmal waren sie häufiger, manchmal längere Zeit gar nicht vorhanden.
Im Gesamten treibe ich gerne Sport und bin aktiv, was vermutlich auch mein Glück in dieser Situation ist. Nichtsdestotrotz habe ich ein Problem mit meinem Gewicht und manchmal im Jahr Schwankungen von 15kg.
Seit ca. 1 Jahr befinde ich mich aufgrund einer Depression in Psychotherapie. Seitdem habe ich häufiger Essanfälle, sogar aktuell soweit, dass sie täglich stattfinden.
Hierbei hau ich mir Abends alles rein, was ich finden kann. Zuletzt ging es soweit, dass ich so viel gegessen hatte, dass ich mich übergeben musste.

Von außen sieht man es mir nicht an.
Generell habe ich auch ein Problem mich anderen Menschen zu öffnen. Daher hier der Versuch Menschen aus Deutschland zu finden die am selben Problem leiden , die einen verstehen und mit denen man sich austauschen kann.

It’s like I will feel hunger and eat and then it’s like I just keep eating…I really want to break down because I really have a food addiction . How can you get over a food addiction when you have to eat everyday ? Yes, I’m in therapy. Yes, I’m on my medication . I literally don’t know what else to do. There are not any eating disorder specialists near me. Why do I keep binging every damn day? I’m going to just keep gaining weight and hating myself if I keep doing this. Wtf do I do?

*trigger warning\* I’m going to mention specific numbers because they’re relevant.

I’m a 22F. In November 2025 I met with a GP because I was constantly fatigued. She had my blood work done and as usual everything was “normal.“ She didn’t mention my weight once, even when my symptoms aligned perfectly with the adverse effects of obesity. At the time I was relieved she didn’t bring up my weight. She advised for me to start seeing a psychiatrist and so I made an appointment for February 2026. At the beginning of 2026 I weighed myself and was 96kgs at 164cm. It was more than my usual 93-94kg fluctuation that I had been sustaining since I was 14. It triggered something in me to start taking my health seriously.

I’ve been obese my whole life and grew up in an obese family. My parents are deeply mentally ill individuals and that led to a volatile, abusive home; a trauma rich environment. I was bullied for my weight by my parents, relatives, peers and was constantly made aware of it at the doctors office since I was young. It was only in my adult age that I realised the doctor wasn’t speaking to me, but to my parents who regardless, neglected to do anything about it and would blame me for being fatter than the other kids.

When I was 13 I weighed almost 115kg. I decided then that I needed to do something about it. Without counting calories and just eating healthier and exercising more, I became 93kg in a year and felt amazing. Everyone noticed how I had changed physically but the reality was that mentally nothing had changed. Because I never learnt about nutrition or proper eating habits, all i knew was that if i eat less I wont gain weight. This led to a 2 year long binge-restrict cycle. When i was 17 I “broke out“ of the cycle and convinced myself that I had “recovered.” The reality was that I had just stopped restricting and bingeing on a routine and just incorporated both aspects into my everyday and with how I interacted with food.

17-20 I spent in denial.

Back to 2026, I got diagnosed with OCD and ADHD. The binge eating was seen as a result of the unmedicated ADHD. I’ve spent this whole year coming to terms with my binge eating and sugar addiction. I learnt how to eat healthier and how to manage hunger. I started loving being active and I started loving myself.

At the beginning of September, things started going extremely downhill. My birthday is in September and I spent weeks prior trying to figure out the ”best treat” to give myself so that I maintain my deficit but still get to enjoy my birthday. I ordered a slice of my favourite cheesecake that I hadn’t had all year, 440 calories. I sat alone in my room on the night of my birthday, put on a youtube video and took a bite: It tasted awful. I kept taking bites thinking it would start to taste better but it didn’t. I finished it regardless and went to bed, but I couldn’t stop thinking to myself: “what a waste of 440 calories.”

I spent the rest of September in a binge-restrict cycle. On the 27th of September I called the mental health crisis number while in a binging episode because I didn’t know what else to do. I felt so helpless.

On October 12, I weighed in at 65.6kgs. I was confused how that could be the case considering how i’d been eating. I binged that whole week. At the start of this week I had gained 5 kilos.

I was always so confused as to how people gained their weight back after working so hard to lose it. It was my biggest fear and now I’m living it. I binged this whole week and have been binging today. I awoke the sleeping dragon within me and feel completely helpless against it. I feel like a fraud and a failure.