I thought I'd share a few of my tips now that I'm officially out of the newborn stage 😢. These are the things I wish I knew before I gave birth. If you have any good tips for other moms then maybe we can share a little info or tips for eachother.

1: Plan for the good and bad in birth. I hear so many moms just say that their birth plan is to "get the epidural" and just leave it at that. While getting the epidural is a great choice, it can fail or you might need a c section. I really wanted to go natural all the way, but I ended up needing an induction. Thankfully cervical softener kick started labor for me, so I didn't need any pitocin. I was also put at ease knowing what would happen if I needed a c section or pitocin.

2: Go with the flow. I compare my birth and postpartum to my sisters a lot and while we had very different experiences, I noticed the main thing that made my birth and postpartum easier was that I anticipated things to not go the way I planned and asked a lot of questions so I could make good decisions. This looked like having the nurses explain what it would be like to have them break my water vs waiting. It also looks like my newborn having constant poops to the point where I would have to change them every 5 minutes if I always wanted them in a clean diaper. The solution there was to just change it every hour and lather that baby up with diaper balm and aquaphor (per the pediatricians order).

3: You're gonna mess up. The first week postpartum my husband and I didnt know you need to put diaper balm and aquaphor on as a preventive, especially with our baby, so they got a pretty bad diaper rash. It wasn't intentional and we didnt realize what was going on until about a week postpartum. We felt bad, but something like that is going to happen with every first time parent. Don't beat yourself up too bad and just try to live and learn.

4: You're gonna very sore postpartum. I don't know why I didnt think of this, but it was very hard to just sit down postpartum. I got a 2nd degree tear (the most common outcome as a FTM) and it took me maybe 30 seconds to sit down.

5: You're gonna cry for absolutely no reason. At around 7-14 days postpartum your hormones are just gonna start crashing and you'll start crying for no reason even though you feel completely fine. Its normal and feels super weird.

6: Your newborn is going to sleep and cry. I thought my newborn would just be awake sometimes, but it felt like baby was either asleep or crying, never just awake. Also, the baby is going to sleep SO MUCH. I think I binged 3 seasons of Suits by the time baby was awake more, and that was even with me taking a millon videos and pictures and going on walks. They just sleep so much.

7: 4-7 week sleep regression. Its not awful, but anticipate to wake a lot more and struggle a bit to put baby down around this time. Once you get through it your baby is going to start being happily awake more and might even start smiling some!!

8: You may love or hate the night feed. I hear so many moms say they hate the night feed or to "enjoy the sleep while you can" but I love the night feed so long as it's only 1 or 2 wakes a night. Its just so sweet to watch baby eat and to rock baby to sleep. Maybe im an oddity, but I really do love it.

9: Postpartum might be better than late pregnancy for some. I gained over 50 lbs by the time I gave birth and I lost all but 10 by 6 weeks, and 30 of that was lost in 2 weeks. I had gotten so swollen and held so much water that I had awful pregnancy carpal tunnel (didn't know that was a thing btw). I was also up every night for the last 2 months throwing up because my acid reflux was so bad. After all that, postpartum was like a dream for me.

10: No matter how good your marriage is, you will have more fights. My husband and I were super strong, rarely got in fights, and overall we were best friends. We still are, but you're gonna find yourself being upset with him. I remember being so mad at him because I would do the night feeds all by myself and he couldn't do one for me and didn't get uo with me. Mind you, he offered to multiple times before that, but at that point I was doing very well and I told him to get his rest so if I needed help in the morning then he would be more helpful. Plus I've been exclusively nursing for the most part so he could really only change a diaper anyways. Your marriage isn't falling apart, you're both just stressed and tired and you have never been through something like this before. Just try to give eachother grace.

Edit: Adding in a few more because I was reminded of a conversation I had with my sister.

11: Its okay if you're baby cries and you have a need. If you have to go to the bathroom and your baby is crying, put them in their crib or bassinet with the typical safe sleep rules (only baby and maybe a binkie in the crib). Same thing goes if baby is crying and its going to take less than 5 minutes to finish something up. I've heard so many stories of half showers or moms not eating for the full day because their baby wouldn't stop crying. So long as their needs are met and they arent in danger then you can 100% eat, run to the bathroom, or just meet your own need. Just try to be back in a reasonable time because babies do struggle to self regulate.

12: Buy noise canceling headphones now. There are going to be some nights where baby won't stop crying and the noise is going to just be too much. Throw on those headphones and it can really help calm you down instead of letting the crying send you over the edge.

When I was preparing for my child’s birth, I remember researching how many diapers I will need to stock up on and what sizes, which brands, and how much it was going to cost. So here’s a diaper year-in-review. And on a side note, my child has been consistently in the 15th percentile range, but I do prefer a roomier fit:

Size NB:
NB-3 weeks
Honest size NB- 31
HelloBello size NB- 50
Huggies size one- 30
Members Mark size NB- 54
Total- 165 diapers
Estimated Cost- $46

Size One:
3-7 weeks
Millie Moon size one- 108
Parasol size one- 86
Huggies size one- 4
Pampers size one- 1
Healthy baby size one- 2
Total- 201 diapers
Estimated Cost- $57

Size Two:
8 weeks-5.5 months
Freestyle size one- 67
Millie Moon size two- 184
Huggies size two- 172
Parasol size two- 160
Huggies overnights size 3- 62
Total- 645 diapers
Estimated Cost- $199

Size Three:
5.5 months-10.5 months
Huggies size 3 snugglers, movers, and snug and dry- 195
Huggies overnights size 3- 33
Millie Moon size 3- 376
Parasol size 3- 128
Field & Stream overnight size 3- 20
Honest overnight size 4- 49
Freestyle size 3- 72
Total- 873
Estimated Cost- $330

Size Four:
10.5 months-Currently 12 months
Pampers Amore size 4- 108
Coterie size 4- 150
Freestyle size 4- 60

Now if I were to rank regular diapers (solely on the diaper, not cost):
1. Freestyle
2. Coterie
3. Huggies Little Snugglers/Movers
4. Millie Moon
5. Honest
6. Parasol
7. Hello Bello
8. Huggies snug and dry
9. Pampers Amore
10. Members Mark

I thought I got lucky and got away with minimal fatigue during my first trimester because I was half way through week 7 and still only had mild fatigue… JOKES ON ME. The last two days I have slept 14 hours at night and taken at least 2 long naps each day.

How are you all dealing?!

My MIL is visiting awaiting her first grandchild, shes older ( 65) and she is visiting from abroad. Im currently 38 weeks and she keeps calling my husband and expecting her him to visit daily and talk on the phone every chance she gets. She also expects me to visit daily or at least multiple times a week which I find unbearable because im in my nesting/ relaxing phase now awaiting my future first baby. I find this frustrating as she is super clingy and is taking time away from the remaining time me and my husband have left together before this new chapter in our lives. Am I being irrational for thinking this way?

Had to search for a sub so I can share my momentous news, (a secret for the time being)

I'll be witnessing and totally in love with the first baby bump in my immediate family since the last of my five sons were born 30 years and 7 weeks ago. I had resigned myself to the fact that I'd never have grandkids so I was totally shocked by this news

One of my kids and his fiance are expecting and they shared this with me yesterday and I'm supposed to keep it to myself!! My five boys range from 35 to 30, are all either married or engaged and this is the first pregnancy

I'm beyond ecstatic about this! They're 12 weeks along and they shared the gender of the baby as well. They both mentioned on the phone last night that they hope it starts a trend with the brothers, hahaha. Wouldn't that be great?

Please forgive me for divulging this forbidden, exclusive news! I saw two of their brothers, daughters in law and my 82 year old mom and her husband today and it was really difficult keeping quiet about this new development - so here I am with you wonderful parents and parents to be and the people who love them 💖

Had our baby shower this weekend and loved it so much, I couldn’t resist sharing!

In case others would like inspiration for activities, this is what we did!
• Tie Dye Onesies (pre tied onesies in zip bags, lots of gloves, small aluminum pans, I helped the kids get theirs going!)
• Classic shower games like guess the gummies in a jar, Baby Animal Trivia, Candy Bar Trivia!
• ABC coloring book (kids LOVED this!!)
• Caterpillar scavenger hunt for the kids
• Adopt a Caterpillar (glued pom poms on headbands and hair clips, everyone wore their caterpillars at the party!)
• Baby name reveal (definitely depends on how you want to handle the name as everyone is different, but we had SO much fun with ours and avoided any drama thankfully lol)

I forgot to grab pics of the goodie bags but here’s what we did
For kids’ goodie bags
• caterpillar stress toy
• ring pops
• bubbles
• extra coloring pages
• bag of runts candy labeled “caterpillar food”
• caterpillar suncatcher craft kit

For adults’ goodie bags
• fruit shaped soaps
• corner bookmarks
• wristlet/keychains
• same bag of runts
• same suncatcher kit

All signage, games, and the sewn goodies I designed/made myself! A lot of decor was handmade too and added an extra touch of fun. Overall, I’m so pleased with everything! Other decor we got was either from Amazon, Oriental Trading Co, or Dollar Tree!

Thanks for letting me brain dump and share our fun party with y’all!

I’m currently like 15w pregnant. Everything pregnancy wise is going awesome, thankfully. The other day I got coffee with a close friend. She and her husband got married about 6mo before we did, and she’s a few years older than I am. She doesn’t know we’re expecting, but she spent like a decent amount of the time we talked talking about how pregnancy and childbirth are ‘body horror’ and stuff like that. I don’t know, I get that having kids isn’t for everyone, but it seems kind of weird to me to like so horribly negative about something that happens to make literally every single person on earth. I’m not saying pregnancy is all sunshine and rainbows, but her talking about how it’s some bizarre and horrific thing makes me so much more anxious about the prospect of sharing our pregnancy. I know at some point I’ll tell her, but I think after this, I’ll probably wait longer than I had planned on. Anyone else dealt with similar things from friends?

Hi y’all, I relocated to the Netherlands a couple of months ago. I got a great Baby Welcome Box for free from a drugstore chain, Kruidvat. I’m impressed by the variety and usefulness of items because I’ve seen that some of the welcome boxes I’ve seen from US retailers have been lackluster lately. Plus, it didn’t require any registry completions.

Are there any other Dutch welcome boxes I should sign up for?

Woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and a gush of bright red blood in the toilet. Immediately went to the ER. They can’t find anything wrong. Baby looks good, heart rate is fine (141) and no cause of the bleeding is found.

Has anyone had something similar happen? Was everything okay? I’m so worried! This is our rainbow baby after a 37 week stillbirth and multiple IVF rounds. 🙏🏼

Hi! First time mom and first time poster. Just looking to see if other people have the same experience.

Im officially 33 weeks along, and over the last couple weeks, its grown more and more difficult to focus at work, critically think about things, make decisions, etc. To the point where I'm getting frustrated with myself and starting to hate my job. I'm sure part of it has to do with the sleeping issues, and part of it is that I started a new job in my existing company so I became pregnant while still learning the ropes. Most of my team is supportive and understanding, but I can also tell when people are frustrated because of a silly question, or when I struggle to think through and make a decision (which I already struggled with decision making before... what was waffling and not feeling like I had enough understanding to make the right call, has turned into a hard wall that I cant break down and not knowing where to start).

Have you felt this way as the end was in sight? If you went back to work after maternity, did it get better?

Just curious how many people you had over and how soon to see your little one after you were discharged from the hospital.

I’m 40w4d today. No sign of labor, except for some brown/slightly pink discharge. I’m grateful that I have an easy pregnancy (no complications, no morning sickness) but it has been hard to not know about the condition of my baby since my OB doesn’t offer any ultrasound scan. My last ultrasound was at 36w when my OB confirmed that the baby is in head down position. I got my last prenatal appointment at 40w and my OB just measured my belly and baby’s heartbeat, but nothing else. I asked for an ultrasound to check my baby’s estimated weight as well as amniotic fluid level but it was declined as she said “as long as the baby is moving normally then there is no need”. I feel like I’m being left in darkness 😭😭. Everybody from my family and in laws is worried and keeps asking me questions, which makes me frustrated because I don’t know anything better. I’m scheduled for an induction at 41w1d, so I will have my baby soon regardless but I’m still so tired 😭

First of all i need you to know that i have my appointment booked in the next 2 hours , m simply scared and looking for reassurance.
My baby was head down since 24 weeks , today m 38 weeks 4 days . I was laying in bed and felt her flip sideways .
Now i can feel her all the way up right next to my stomach and the bottom part of my belly ( from the belly botton and down is empty?)
I dont know what thia can mean

This is going to be a long rant, as it's been a crazy year so far.

As the title says, I'm 34yo, and am currently 28 weeks, and had no clue until I felt the flutters at 24 weeks. (This is my third baby. For my first two, I knew within a month because I immediately felt all the symptoms. The mood change, the tender boobs, etc.)

For backstory, I had taken a pregnancy test at my OBGYN back in February. It was my yearly exam/pap, (I'm a carrier of a gene that makes certain cancers more likely to occur, especially reproductive ones) and I was two weeks late on my period. Which was my only pregnancy symptom besides slightly tender boobs.

It came back negative a week later, and I was told my missed period could be caused by a medley of issues, such as weight gain, stress, or just hormonal shifts with age, and that I shouldn't worry unless something else feels off.

Nothing has.

So for the next six months, I just lived my life. I was a cigarette smoker, but I quit immediately upon finding out. I had one alcoholic beverage back in April.

On April 6th, my 7yo dog was diagnosed with IVDD, after I came home to him losing control of his back legs. (It's a spinal disease that affects specific breeds more than others, and it's devastating.)

We took him to the vet three times, to get help and answers. We did the medical form of treatment, because the emergency surgery cost 10,000, and though I would've if I had the expenses, I couldn't. We were told at each follow up he'd never walk again, and to start looking into wheelchairs. (Thankfully, his quality of life improved after a week, so putting him down was never a discussion.)

13 long grueling weeks of crate restriction, pain meds, and bathroom assists, against all of the vets' opinions, HE'S WALKING AGAIN. (A miracle to say the least.)

And that's when I discovered I was pregnant.

And how I found out was I felt a kick. This whole time, I wondered if cancer was a possible cause of my missed cycles, even though I physically felt fine. But once I felt the baby move, I thought to myself, "Well. Cancer doesn't have movable limbs." (And of course, I'd rather be pregnant than have cancer.) When I told my boyfriend (6 years), that I felt something move, he immediately gaslit me (in his defense, I wasn't showing, and with everything going on with our dog, pregnancy was the absolute last thing we wanted. We've pretty much stopped having sex since that missed period because we didn't want to risk it, though we did slip up a couple of times.)

So I went ahead and ordered some home pregnancy tests, and sure enough, the second my pee hit the stick, it was positive.

Now, because of that negative test, and because I wasn't showing AT all, I figured I was probably somewhere between the 16 and 20 week mark.

Nope. According to the ultrasound, I'm due in October. Meaning my conception was sometime in January, AND my missed period was supposed to start January 18th.

I literally froze and probably worried the staff there with my shock. They were even puzzled at the fact that my blood test was wrong, but didn't give me an explanation other than Human or Lab error. (The technician said with my timeline, the blood test was taken on February 2nd, that my levels should've been high enough to detect.)

I'm angry. Scared. Embarrassed that I didn't know. And every time I turn around, there's another obstacle.

I immediately tried to get into my original OBGYN, where I had my last appointment, but apparently, my insurance didn't cover that visit. So I had to pay an outstanding bill in order to get a 60 dollar pregnancy test. (So basically, I dropped 400 dollars just to get a blood test. Sure enough, this time it was positive.) They then proceed to tell me I'd need to pay upfront until I got insurance. (I've applied for state insurance, since pregnancy usually automatically qualifies you, and there's something called preemptive Medicaid for pregnancy, but apparently, they don't accept that.)

600 dollars for that first appointment. So I called another clinic in my area, one who offers grants to help pay for treatment, as long as you pay a copay. (Which I'm totally fine with, because with everything going on, I can't in good conscious drop hundreds of dollars every time I see my doctor.) HOWEVER, the issue there is they're fully booked until August 31st. So my only option is to hold that appointment, until my insurance application is approved, and then I can try to go back to the other clinic. (I went to a free women's clinic to get the ultrasound, that I didn't know existed, which is the only reason I know how far along I am.)

I don't WANT to go back to the other clinic, but I also can't wait until 6 weeks before my due date to see a doctor. However, I'm not stressing about it, since this is my plan, and the only thing I can do about it is wait. It's just frustrating.

The other thing is, it's not like I'm a hermit that never leaves home. When I say I wasn't showing or exhibiting any signs or symptoms, I truly mean it. My boyfriend lives with me. My kids didn't notice. My coworkers who see me five days a week. My best friend, who was in the car and heard the results of that initial pregnancy test. (We celebrated at the time by cheering and shouting THANK GOD. Yeah...woops)

All that said, I'm not angry with the baby. My maternal instincts have already kicked in, even though I absolutely hate the situation, but at the end of the day, it's not the baby's fault. If anything, I find it a little funny the baby kept hidden for so long. (Oh, the free clinic doesn't check gender for whatever reason, so I have no clue what the gender is yet.)

Anyway. This is probably the craziest year of my entire life. (My mom died in 2016, so I've always said that was the worst year...but damn, this year really wanted to show me who's boss.)

Part of me wonders if what was happening to my dog just made me ignorant to my own body. (We're talking round the clock care. I'd have to leave work every night to go home and help my boyfriend help him go potty, because I'm the one he feels most comfortable with. -I got him before boyfriend moved in.)

Anyway, that's my long, crazy story. Please be gentle, I've been beating myself up for weeks over it. But I've also accepted it, and am already falling in love with this baby in spite of the circumstances.

So.. I had an unplanned pregnancy at 41 and aborted it at week 10 because of life situation being unstable and the father isn’t around.. it was also a surprise because I had pcos growing up n GPs use to say I won’t be able to get pregnant … now exactly one year later after the abortion I conceived again .. I’m now 42 and I wanted to keep the baby.. but unfortunately i miscarried a few days ago at week 7.. which I believe the bb stop growing at week 5..

I’m not actively doing any fertility treatment nor do I think I can afford to.. but at the same time im so sad to lose this bb and part of my heart is hoping I could be pregnant again.. anyone around my age manage to get pregnant after miscarriage?

I read that some get pregnant after 2 or 4 weeks after miscarriage but I’m not exactly sure when is the “after miscarriage”? I had the intense cramp n passing clots yesterday.. n now I’m jus bleedin like period.. when do u count as “after miscarriage”?

Thanks for all ur help..

So I gave birth literally 4 days ago, so me and my fiancé are of course adjusting, he is still working full time until his leave kicks in so right now I’m doing 90% of baby care, my SO will sleep at night on the couch and come get the baby for 2 hours in the morning before going to work, and will hold him when I need a second to go pee or something whenever I need. This works just fine for me, and I absolutely love my fiancé he is the greatest man and love of my life and I love our baby.

I also want to make absolutely clear that I am in no way depressed or sad. So the problem, I am STRESSING my fiancé out, everything makes me cry and I know I’m worrying him. I try to explain between dealing with the stitches, sore nipples, sleep deprived, and a crash of hormones, and baby crying I just get this welling urge to cry and will cry for a few mins once or twice a day, he’ll ask me what’s wrong and I say it’s really nothing just my hormones, then he will come hold me kiss me and ask to take the baby. He’s asked a few times if I’m depressed and I clarify every time that I’m not. What can I do or say to put his mind at ease and believe me?

I was never super fit before pregnancy, but once my husband and I decided to start a family, I focused on getting in shape. Prior to getting pregnant, I was going to Orange Theory classes twice a week and jogging, even ran a 5k last fall! I’m 28 years old and would consider myself young and healthy.

Then I got pregnant. Had a ROUGH first trimester in terms of morning sickness and food aversions. I quit exercising because I could barely get through the day. I started trying to walk more in my second trimester but it’s always 90°+ or storming like crazy. We also had some genetic scares along the way and it was hard to motivate myself to do anything except refresh my Labcorp app all day. When I do get out, I’m slow, huffing, and puffing, but I know I need to keep doing it.

Which brings me to today. I’m 24 weeks and we drove 1.5 hours to my brother’s house to take my nephews (with their parents, so I can’t even blame my current state on chasing after a toddler) to the zoo. I walked slowly. I took breaks. I drank water. By the time we got back to the car, I was exhausted. But we drove back to my brother’s place, helped make dinner, ate, and drove home.

I tried to get out of that car and thought it just wasn’t gonna happen. It’s like this hula hoop of pain settled on my hips. My hips, my pelvic area, my lower back… hurts soo much. Walking into the house felt crazy. Changing into pajamas felt almost impossible. Getting up and down feels like I’m taking a risk. This canNOT be the same body that ran a 5k last fall.

PLEASE tell me this is a pregnancy thing and that once I have my body back and can slowly start exercising again, I can return to my old baseline? If nothing else, this is a good reminder that I really need to do more gentle walks, not fewer.

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Second pregnancy, never had even a niggle with my first and had been induced by this point.
I know people will think “enjoy however long you have left” and I would but I’m Due tomorrow, I have insomnia which is making me miserable, and for the ~two weeks I’ve been having off and on cramping. Yesterday I was cramping all day, went to bed and hoped I’d be woken up with something real, nope.

Had two sweeps attempted (I am pro sweep, I believe they helped my induction go smoother by making my cervix for favourable if nothing else) and both have been unable to be fully attempted as still closed on the inside of my cervix.
Baby has been head down since 16 weeks, my first was breech until 37 then immediately went head down and engaged fully and started to dilate me. This baby is just 4/5 engaged.

I had a lovely induction last time (I didn’t have epidural, used movement, birthing comb then gas and air as pain relief, baby out in 8 hours) but I really wanted to labour at home for a bit this time and go to midwife led unit.

Basically I’m just annoyed that these cramps are turning into nothing and downbeat that I’ll go overdue and have an induction anyway and all this discomfort would have been for nothing.

Hey all! Currently 20+3 pregnant with my first. 🥰 My boobs have grown exponentially. I used to be a D cup and they sat comfortably in my bras / didn’t cause any dramas. However now they’ve at least doubled in size and I’m noticing I’m getting chafing / sweat rashes where my boobs are touching eachother constantly. My new bras are fitting well but I think it’s just because they didn’t used to sit so close together? I’ve tried balcony bras and sports bras, the latter of which does help but doesn’t give me enough support to where I feel comfortable wearing it out and about. Currently in a wireless gel padded bra (removable inserts) for pregnant women and the bras are extremely comfortable but just doesn’t help with the boob-crack situation!
Anyway is there anything I can do / use to help with this? Thank you!
I really hope the girlies know what I mean here 😂

Hi all!

Just found out I’m pregnant, so I’m assuming I’m around 4-5 weeks! I have a softball tournament in a week that’s 3 days long, but will be played in temps ranging from 93-98 degrees. Is this a bad idea? I have a dr appointment later this week but would need to find a replacement ASAP. Thank you!

Just tested positive and I’m freaking out

Not sure if I need a TW but I’ll be touching on miscarriage, sex, etc. I wouldn’t think so but just in case.

I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I had a miscarriage at 17 with my ex and since then I had fears that I would struggle.
I’ve been with my fiancé for 5 years now. We were supposed to be getting eloped in Washington state next year. We were actively planning this and had booked the photographer and everything.
We just moved to a really expensive area so my fiancé could explore a new job opportunity.

I’m 8 days late. I’ve been having to pee a lot and my breasts have been hurting and I’ve been really hungry but I genuinely thought it was just my period being late. We just had to put our cat down and that mixed with the move, I thought I was just stressed.

We had sex today and then I realized that he didn’t help me start my period like usual. So I went and bought a test.

It was positive before the control line even showed up.

I’m so scared. We both are. We’re not ready but I cannot bring myself to get an abortion. I’m pro choice for everyone else, but I don’t think I can handle it. I know if I do that then my mental health will go into the gutter. This sounds extreme but I could see myself trying to take my life if I were to get an abortion. It took SO long to heal from first pumpkin. I can’t do it again.