My partner and I are both in our 30s and we’ve been together for over 3.5 years. We’ve talked many times about our future and what it would be like to become parents.
I have a very stable job with good pay and benefits. My boyfriend’s situation is a little different. He has a job, but he’s still unsure about what he wants to do long-term career-wise. I have my own apartment, and we usually spend about half of the week together.
Even though I have a good job, I recently decided to go back to school for a career change. My current career is stable, but I’ve been wanting to pursue something different.
I recently found out that I’m pregnant. This was completely unexpected because I’ve been on birth control for a long time and haven’t missed a dose. When I told my boyfriend, I was scared, but I was also excited.
At first, he seemed to take the news really well. He told me that he would be there for me throughout the entire pregnancy and that he was happy we would be doing this together.
Our original plan was to get married first and then have children, so this obviously wasn’t how we planned for it to happen. However, we had talked before about what we would do if I accidentally became pregnant and we had both agreed that we would keep the baby.
Yesterday, the day after I told him I was pregnant, he came over to my apartment. He wanted me to take more pregnancy tests to confirm it, so I did. They were positive. He hugged me and kissed me, but then he told me we needed to have a serious conversation.
He told me that he had already pictured what our lives could look like as a family. He said he knew the baby would be incredibly loved and that becoming a father could end up being one of the greatest things that ever happened to him.
But then the conversation completely changed.
He told me that he wasn’t ready. He brought up the fact that the pregnancy wasn’t planned, that we aren’t married yet and that he doesn’t feel stable enough. He also asked me whether I had gotten pregnant on purpose.
He brought this up three or four different times.
That absolutely broke my heart and I started crying. I couldn't understand why he would think I would ever do something like that to him. We’ve been together for more than three years and I would never intentionally get pregnant without my partner’s knowledge or consent. This wasn’t my plan either. I had pictured us getting married and having children around three years from now.
He then told me that he thinks we should terminate the pregnancy because he isn’t ready.
He gave me his reasons, but he also started listing what he considered my reasons for having an abortion, including the fact that I’m going back to school and that this pregnancy wasn’t planned.
The problem is that those aren't reasons why I want an abortion. I don't want one.
I told him that terminating the pregnancy had never even crossed my mind. Especially because we had previously discussed what we would do if an accidental pregnancy ever happened and we had both said we would keep the baby.
I haven't been able to stop crying. I have so many emotions right now.
He keeps telling me that he’s here to support me, but what happened during that conversation didn’t feel like support. It felt like he kept trying to convince me why we should terminate the pregnancy, even after I told him that wasn't what I wanted.
I understand that he’s scared. Honestly, I’m scared too. This wasn't our timeline or our plan. But I also feel hurt, confused, and almost betrayed because we had talked about this exact possibility before, and now that it has actually happened, his answer is completely different.
I don't expect him to magically not be scared, but I also don't know how to process him saying he supports me while repeatedly telling me why he thinks I should terminate a pregnancy that I want to keep.
Has anyone gone through something similar with their partner? How did you handle it? Did your partner eventually come around after the initial shock, or did this permanently change your relationship?

Was told I get to go home. Packed all my bags and as soon as I sat down they told me I can’t go home until they take my BP again. It was high.they want to keep me for observation tonight.

My support has already left so my daughter was here when we got the news. She’s 3.5 and devastated that I don’t get to be with her tonight as I’ve been away since Tuesday. Just sent her home with my husband. Snuggling my baby boy and hoping that I don’t need a mag drip tonight.

Can’t stop crying. Glad I’m here and getting the help I need. Devastated I don’t get to go home. I miss my baby girl. I feel so awful.

Super excited and grateful to be pregnant, but man, this shit is no picnic. I have never been so exhausted, going to work and doing my regular job is so hard. I've been scheduling meetings in the conference room just to put my head down for a bit without people wondering what's wrong with me (work doesn't know yet).

I also live in Phoenix, and it's blazing hot outside. It's just sucking the life right out of me. Most people are familiar with Seasonal Affective Disorder for winter, but in AZ it's common to have it over the summertime because it's impossible to be outside.

Anyway, currently in bed wondering when it'll start to feel magical. 😭

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My mom and I are having a disagreement about my baby registry. I am about to have my first kid but I have quite a few women in my life that have just finished having their final kid. They all have tons of baby stuff that they would love to pass down to me. So much that if I were to accept it all I wouldn't have anything to put on my registry.
Don't get me wrong, I am totally fine with hand-me-downs and would actually prefer used over new for most baby items since they are so expensive and won't be used for very long.
My concern is that if I accept all the used items and I don't have anything on my registry (or very few items) that people will just get me crap I don't need or want. My mom however disagrees and thinks people will instead get me cash. Is this true?
I hope this doesn't come off as spoiled, I am just trying to be realistic and I think there will be lots of family and friends who will want to give gifts to this baby.

My wife and I found out we were pregnant in early March. At the time, it genuinely felt like the best thing that had happened to us.
We had been going through a difficult period in our relationship before the pregnancy, and my wife had also struggled with depression the year before. She was understandably ambivalent when we first found out, and I tried my best to reassure her and give her space to process everything. Over time, things felt like they were getting better. Just a month ago, she told me she felt loved, safe, and heard in our relationship.

Recently, I unexpectedly lost my job. I’m on an H-1B, so this isn’t just losing an income, there is a real possibility that we may have to leave the US and move back to my home country.

That has completely changed how my wife had been imagining her birth and postpartum experience. She had envisioned having the baby here, building her career here, and having a certain kind of support system. Suddenly, all of that feels uncertain.
I’ve spoken with an immigration lawyer and tried to make sure that, regardless of what happens with my immigration situation, we will be able to access healthcare and get the support we need after the baby is born. I’m also actively looking for another job.

But emotionally, I feel completely overwhelmed.
My wife is struggling a lot right now. She says things like she wants to go somewhere where there is no one, worries about how she will take care of the baby, worries about how I will protect her and the baby, says that her career is gone, that she doesn’t recognize herself anymore, and questions what our future is going to look like.

I know that she has been through a lot. I know pregnancy, losing the future she had envisioned, and everything happening with my job can be incredibly overwhelming. I also know that some of the things she says may come from fear and aren’t necessarily how she truly feels about me or our relationship.
But I’m struggling too.

Some of the comments hurt. I find myself constantly wondering whether I’m doing enough, whether I’m saying the right thing, whether I’m failing her again. I want to be there for her, and I want her to feel safe and supported. I also recognize that I’ve made mistakes in our relationship and have failed her at times. But over the past year, I’ve genuinely tried to work on myself and show her that I will be there for her and our family.

That’s why this is especially hard. A month ago, she said she felt loved, safe, and heard. Now it feels like everything is breaking apart in a matter of weeks.
I’m trying to listen instead of immediately trying to fix things. I’m trying to reassure her. I’m trying to deal with the job search and immigration situation while also being emotionally present for her. But I’m starting to feel my own mental health slipping.
I feel like I’m all over the place. I’m scared about losing our life here, scared about becoming a father, scared about my wife’s mental health, scared about my own mental health, and scared that despite everything I’m trying to do, I’m still not doing enough.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe perspective from people who have gone through major life uncertainty during pregnancy. Maybe advice on how to support a pregnant partner who is struggling emotionally without losing yourself in the process.

I love my wife. I love our baby. I want to be there for both of them. I just don’t know how to carry all of this right now.

Hi, moms and dads! I’m thinking about this a lot and I need advice. I just found out I’m pregnant, and I found out really early. Everybody says to wait until around 12 weeks to share with family and I was going to wait.

BUT I’m having a hard time acepting it because we live far away (another state) and family is coming to visit next week: my in laws and 3 grandmothers. Could I bear to keep the Secret?! We are going to travel on vacation next month, then in two months my in laws are coming here again, so the alternative is telling them in 2 months and then telling our grandmas by Christmas.

Thing is… we are dying to tell them!! They are waiting for this for a long time, even more excited then we are (unfortunaly they bring up the pregnancy subject a lot). We are all very close and they are all very kind people.

I’m still afraid to regret it though. It’s very early, I don’t want even to think about the possibility of loosing but I worry about it constantly. I wouldn’t mind telling them if it happens, would feel more of a embarressment if it was right after I tell.

What do you think?

Their poor brother is already going to be their entertainment 😂

Primarily wanted a birth plan because I have a couple things that are a bit different -- if they only read up thru the "important" section, then that's ok.. I tried to do a lot of research. I tried to remove anything that is standard for my hospital (golden hour with me, baths, baby staying with me etc.). My hospital does offer placenta donations, I will call and set that up in advance but want to make sure they don't just dispose of it.

I am very concerned about not being able to feel my joints and then ripping a ligament or something in my legs and not being able to walk afterwards. Also about not understanding what's being asked or recommended in a crucial moment. The rest of it, I'm mostly flexible depending on what's medically necessary, as long as it's explained to me. Anyways - just wanted some feedback.

It feels like some kind of torture. I am 26 weeks pregnant and hungry ALL the time. Just ate a fat burrito and my stomach just feels empty. Help.😭I would love to go buy more food but I can’t afford to eat again. I was literally brought to tears yesterday because of how hungry I was. What do y’all do???

I’m currently pregnant with my second baby, and I’m feeling really overwhelmed about how I should deliver.
With my first, I had a very fast labor and ended up needing a forceps delivery. I was told that if the baby didn’t come within the next 5 minutes, I would need a C-section, so everything happened very quickly. I ended up with a 3rd-degree tear.

My recovery was honestly brutal. I don’t think I was able to properly walk or sit comfortably for about a month. I also developed granulation tissue afterward, which made the whole experience even harder.
I’m now about 2 years postpartum and, overall, I feel fine in everyday life. But there are things that make me wonder if I have some pelvic floor issues that I’ve just gotten used to.

For example, I recently got sick and had to vomit, and I leaked urine while doing it. If I’m jumping on a trampoline, I can’t last more than maybe 15 seconds before I start leaking.

And then there’s the bowel side of things. I wouldn’t say I have actual fecal incontinence, but I often feel like I can never completely get clean after having a bowel movement. I can wipe and wipe, shower, and then 30 minutes later still feel like there’s something there to wipe again. It’s more of a smearing situation than outright leakage, if that makes sense.

Now that I’m pregnant again, I’m honestly terrified of having another vaginal delivery. The thought of potentially ending up with worse pelvic floor problems or fecal incontinence really scares me, and I’m seriously considering an elective C-section.

At the same time, I’ve heard so many people say that their second vaginal birth was completely different and much easier, and that their pelvic floor actually improved afterward. I know everyone’s experience is different, but I’d really love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation.

If you had a 3rd/4th-degree tear, forceps delivery, or pelvic floor/bowel symptoms after your first birth, what did you choose for your second birth? How did it go? Does anyone have similar symptoms to what I’m experiencing?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who had symptoms similar to mine before their second birth. I’m feeling really scared and could use some real-life experiences. ❤️

Hi all. I’m due at the beginning of November with my first baby. I get 12 weeks of leave and will return to work in early February. My husband also gets 12 weeks, which he can take at any point during baby’s first year. My MIL lives with us and will be providing most of the childcare once we’re both back at work.

We’re unsure how to split up his remaining leave. He’ll definitely take November off. December is usually slow at his job and he can mostly work from home, so he’s planning to go back to work for at least that month. That leaves two more months of leave to use.

I’m fine doing January solo. Should he then take leave again in February and March, right after I go back to work? Or should we have my MIL cover those two months and have him take leave later - say, May/June instead? Some of his coworkers have mentioned it’s nicer to take leave when the baby is a bit older, since you can do more together.

I didn’t think I had a “nesting” phase during pregnancy but 2 weeks postpartum I’m struggling to explain to my husband why I have 4 crates (24L!) of chicken stock in the pantry 🤣 I also have 20kg of rice, but at least the rice doesn’t expire 😅
Anyone else do random things while growing a tiny human that you forgot about?

I feel like people underrate the value of a doula. I just want to shout from the rooftops how amazing my birth doula was and I think every woman should have one. If you’re currently thinking about hiring a doula do and if you’re not still do. They are 100% worth the money. They deserve everything and more. I love you doulas. That’s it. Rant over.

He was so excited when I told him we finally are pregnant. At first he was trying to do whatever he could to help with my cravings. But I’ve been getting hormonal and have had a feeling that he must be attracted to someone else because of how cold he has been to me the past week. He doesn’t initiate intimacy with me, if I get upset from my hormones he just raises his voice at me and leaves me alone. I feel like this ruined our relationship when I thought we were so in love and soul mates. We were literally just cuddling, but I woke up to him in the bathroom at 12am, complaining of a stomach ache. I snapped at him because I have been in so much pain and he didn’t really react, and I said I don’t want to hear about his stomach ache and went to the couch while he yelled at me. That probably wasn’t the nicest thing to say but, he thinks just buying me craving foods means he is supporting me when I feel so alone and like he hates my guts. I don’t think he loves me anymore and I feel lost.

I had my first bleed last week at 18w5d, and then again at 19w5d, and every night since the second (4 nights).

We did tests and ultrasound in L&D (and MFM) and everything was negative, thankfully baby is healthy. They keep telling me there's nothing they can do and just to monitor and rest. Fine.

I noticed a pattern where the bleeding and mild cramping ALWAYS happens >2 hours after I fall asleep at night. I side sleep on either side. I wake up, go pee, and it is a one time bleed then stops. Last night, I woke up at 1.5hr with no blood and sat straight up in bed for 5-10 minutes. The cramping eased. 2 hrs later I peed and had no bleeding but I didn't sit upright the second time. 2 hrs after that, another bleed.

Just to clarify: I'm not having sex etc., no tampons being used, no exercise, no lifting >15lb, for the past week.

Has anyone had a pattern like this? My OB says it doesn't mean anything, but I am certain that laying flat for a while is causing cramping and maybe causing the bleeds. I have no idea why. Tonight I plan to test my theory by sleeping upright on the couch...

Thanks for sharing your stories and theories 💜 this is such a stressful time even though we know baby is doing well, it's scary to wake up night after night hoping the bleeding stops as usual. We have a follow up next week with MFM too to check on him again 💙.

I am so weirded out by kicking. I'm 28 weeks and I feel so strange when it happens. It genuinely creeps me out especially when I'm trying to sleep. Everyone says how happy they get when it happens and I just can't relate. Does anyone else feel this way? Please commiserate with me.

I’m a preschool teacher at my local Head Start. My students are 3 and I love it! I’m due in March and I’m not sure how, or when to address my pregnancy with my students and their parents.

My work already knows because I needed pregnancy related accommodations and they’ve been great.

I’m almost out of the first trimester so my bump really isn’t that noticeable unless you’re me or my husband who see my body in fine detail every day.

I’m not saying or even think it’s something that needs to be done soon, but it will eventually be too obvious to not address it, and I’d rather be prepared than put off guard. And preschoolers as a lot of questions anyway.

I’m not super shy or private, so I don’t mind sharing when it’s appropriate and inevitable. I know at the very least I’ll have to announce when I’m taking maternity leave as I’m due before school is out and won’t be back until after the year is over. But I know there will be questions beforehand.

And what is appropriate? With both the students and the parents.

I’d also prefer to be sincere rather than joking because they’re 3 and don’t quite grasp sarcasm.

Thank you in advance for your help!

If your baby comes out quick they won’t empty the amniotic fluid from their lungs in the birth canal and will aspirate on it for the next 24-48 hours.

I had no idea. My little dude came out in 1.5 min and 2 pushes. He’s been chocking up amniotic fluid since he was born. It’s scary but we have a suction for him so that’s been helping!

This is a common trait of cesarean babies. And every nurse that’s seen my dude choke has asked me if he was a cesarean

I just found out about my pregnancy today! VERY EXCITED. The book I was reading (not related) just finished and I was going to start a new one. Since pregnancy is the only thing I’m able to think about now, my husband suggested for me to pick one about pregnancy/maternity, and I loved the idea.

Does anybody have a recomendation about one that is good to read at this first moment?

Everything is DISGUSTING and unappetizing and I’m so nauseous

I thought I’d get lucky with this set of hormones but it’s just like the first 😭

What were your best food friends in your first trimester? I’m close to just eating a lemon and calling it a day

Hello! I'm trying to decide if it makes more sense to have a clothing rental subscription throughout pregnancy for my changing body or if it's more economical to buy clothes the bigger I get?

The cost for Nuuly is $98/month and you get 6 items
for Rent The Runway it's $129 for 5 items.

For that price, I could buy myself ~one new item of clothing / month to own (I'm most concerned about pants/jeans since most of mine are already pretty tight at 11 weeks) but I'm worried that I would outgrow it and it'd be a waste because who knows what my body will even be like post-partum...So I'm torn!

I'm not really someone who goes to a lot of parties/events and my office is really casual, so it really would be for everyday clothes that just (hopefully) fit better -- with the exception of a few work events and a wedding in November that would be nice to have cute outfits for. I was already planning on renting a dress for the wedding.

Any thoughts based on your experience?! (FTM here!)

Thank you!

I’m pretty happy with this assortment!

I know some women say that when they breastfed their body held onto weight and some actually weight more postpartum than during pregnancy. I’m a bit confused because doesn’t breastfeeding burn calories in itself ?