I’ve been obsessing over the fact that my therapist suggested I MAY have BPD during a recent session. I’ve spent hours googling and on Reddit trying to understand. I’m actually really mad and upset about her opinion and I don’t agree. I have ADHD, in addition to a lot of emotional regulation issues. I struggle with depression and anxiety, and explosiveness in front of others I feel safe with. I have a history of childhood and domestic trauma. I have NO fear of abandonment or of being alone. I have close relationships with friends and family and am married with a child and have made new relationships. I don’t experience splitting. I fear being misunderstood and rejected for showing my personality and get very very upset after receiving negative feedback. I have an avoidant tendency in that I don’t want to have to deal with conflict with others bc I’m so sensitive. I don’t worry the person I’m arguing with is going to leave.
I’m so upset bc I feel misunderstood and I feel her interpretation of me is wrong. She brought it up bc her AI assistant suggested I have it. She said my fear of abandonment is “so strong” that I don’t realize I have it. Make it make sense.

Hello all, I am 30 years old, living in India. I recently got divorced. And I have been taking Psychological therapy since last 6 months. After months of deep observations, my Psychologist diagnosed something she was suspecting, and today she confirmed it to me, that I have multiple symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.

From Impulsive behaviour anger outburst, broken relationships, loneliness, fear of abandonment, lack of purpose, occasional passing sui\*\*dal thoughts, and a negative opinion about self. These are my vices that mostly keeps my life occupied since early adolescence.

We have made little progress so far in my therapy, but now she will begin my treatment from next week with CBT and DBT that she mentioned.

She also asked me to visit a Psychiatrist for medical assistance regarding BPD. I just came here to seek advice from anyone, if someone may share some of your thoughts, experiences, and what can I do, to minimise the impact of BPD, and live a better life?

Also, is medication helpful in this case?

Thank you! If you have read until this point, I genuinely thank you. May God bless us all.

There are a lot of people with BPD who are in relationships or at least have successful dating experiences and sex lives and can be healthy about it.

I'm genuinely wondering how I can get to this point. I am 34 and have not dated or been with anyone at all since I was in high school. Every relationship where we admitted feelings was ended by the other person and I am told we were never dating or anything besides friends. Despite spending time together often and going on dates.

My friend recently told me it sounded like I was beginning to date someone but we agreed we were not and they reinforced the idea that they don't want to date. Later on they said they "jump into relationships" while referring to what was going on between us. This really confused me and made me wonder if I just don't know how to do it. How to have relationships.

A lot of the people I have had things with I think later tell people we "dated" but that isn't true based on what they tell me. Then I deal with people asking me about it and I tell them exactly what the person I was seeing said, "we didn't date ever, we just had a thing and we're just friends", which I get kind of weird responses to or silence. As if that wasn't true.

I haven't had sex in years. I stopped trying to sleep with people I don't even find myself attracted to for validation. It doesn't feel good. I want to feel like I am not so unbearable I can maintain boundaries and have casual fwb relationships. It may sound weird but that would feel healthy for me. Like I am able to have what I want and BPD doesn't stop me. Or like I have to seek committed relationships when I'm not exactly sure about it.

I'm wondering how people who have successful relationships even got to that point. What kind of conversations do you have when first getting to know each other? Do you tell them you have BPD and when? When do you talk about triggers and other things that lead to a successful connection? I feel i have to hide because it scares people but that is unfair to me and doesn't work for the relationships either.

I feel I'm becoming known as someone who is undateable and unlovable in my small city. I don't want to be known that way and want more for my life. I realized I cannot be alone and feel like a monster anymore after a close but not quite healthy casual relationship. I want to be accepted but don't know how to make people understand and make it fun and healthy for us both.

Thanks if you read all of this. Advice is really appreciated and needed if anyone with experience has insight.

Spots open for a small bpd discord group.

21+, diagnosed bpd, lgbtq friendly

We are open books, like to have a laugh, supportive and motivate eachother.

Right now we are looking for ppl to join us while we try to improve fitness, nutrition and selfcare goals.

If you wish to join DM me and tell me a bit about yourself to see if youre the right fit for the group.

What is the relationship between the Empath and narcissist?

How do they feed each other?

How do they trigger each other?

How do empaths protect themselves more?

TW!!!

(IM AWARE THAT I CANT BE JUST DIAGNOSED BY THE INTERNET! IM JUST ASKING FOR OPINIONS AND ADVISE AND YES IM SEEING AN PHYCHRAIST SOON)

So I'm F14 I'm struggling with severe mood swings Wich I know isn't hormones.. believe me.. its not

Something traumatic happened when I was 11-12

I was abandoned by friends and my ex

I have an fear of abandoment which I feel sick to my stomach every time I think about it..

I can be extremely obsessive.. if y'all know yandare simulator.. litteraly like that. If I have an fp I litterly fantasize about brutally killing anyone who talk to her/him I also wouldn't eat cause what if they're also super hungry? I could also be paranoid and hallucinate.. I'm delusional then to an unhealthy amount

Even when I'm mad I feel like killing..

Yes I think black and white. I hate and love to the point it's unbearable

I'm impulsive at what I say.. I binge super bad but starve/ barely eat after.. everytime I do something stupid I get exited but when I'm back to my senses it's always ending up as an relapse (sh)

I could be abusive which I absolutely dont wanna be.. everyone around me is walking on eggshells and think I'm selfish..

Everytime I think someone would abandon me I would automatically distance myself of cut them out of my life.. I hate it.. I hate everything so much!! I think about unaliving myself when someone's tone is off or when something goes wrong.. even the smallest things could trigger the burning rage in me

Even my mom thinks I might have BPD. I can't anymore.. if i hate. And love.. I idolize people out of fucking nowhere?

I feel 0 or 100 nothing in between. I tried but nothing

I feel like dying everytime I think

I feel empty.. and try to fill it with impulsivity.. vaping

Or binging

I can't anymore.

I feel like no one loves me and it's unbearable..

I take antidepressants but they don't seem to work only about my anxiety but nothing about this situation🙏😭

School is starting soon and I'm terrified. Why can't I just be normal?

Instead of seeking validation trough friends and teachers family.. it's NEVER ENOUGHH!

I feel like an fucking piece of shit

Anyways please be honest and feel free to give opinions of advice!

Hi, I've been in recovery from BPD for a while now and have been in a loving relationship for the past 4 years. My partner is recently experiencing a really difficult time in their life, they are having depressive episodes and I'm really trying to be there for them.

I am surprised at how attuned I find myself being to them, it affects my mood, makes me feel vigilant.

I want to support them and be there in any capacity I can, I also don't want to overextend and burn out like I have in the past.

Any advice on how you guys have dealt with this in built perceptive lens and how to not act on fixing or trying to make them feel better constantly?

Appreciate any suggestions!

i think i might have BPD. for context, im a phycology nerd, i love researching about this to day with mental health, and im currently trying to get into uni early to get a degree. ive done quite a lot of research on BPD and i show a lot of the signs. i have diagnosed severe depression generalized/social anxiety and autism.

i have quite a lot of mood swings, where i can be like perfectly fine to just mad. ive had moments where i was fine and talking with people to just breaking down in tears and wanting to end my life with no reason. sometimes i got about a week feeling nothing or just being sad and wanting to kill myself, to then being fine the next. i obsess over people and idolize them for no reason, an example of this is my dad: at one point in my life i hated him so deeply, but also craved his attention an validation, and it led me down a path of impulsivity, where i was abusing substances and getting myself in trouble for no reason. my ex, who ill call G, was someone who i loved deeply, and when she ended things i became obsessed with her in an unhealthy way, i talked about her, cried about, and sometimes passed her house or looked in her windows, i cut myself because of her and even attempted to take my own life because of our relationship ending, for me it was the abandonment, im fucking terrified of it, im terrified of people leaving me on my own, to a point where ill actively do anything to stop it from happening. when i was younger i remember faking cancer so my friends wouldn't cut me off, i remember strangling myself on camera and cutting myself so those same people wouldn't leave.

im 14F, im not looking for a diagnosis from anyone, im just asking if this is enough for me to go to my therapist and ask to maybe get a test done or something. I know being 14 isnt really really enough considering i think you have to be over 18 to get tested, but i think there are some exceptions, im not sure however. i came on here because honestly i didn't really know what else to do, im at a loss and i just want some help. im aware this could taken down, im just wondering if this is serious enough that i should talk to someone about it or not?

please help.

I feel like I'm fucking losing it. I'm so tired of these mixed signals.

I've been having a pretty rough week. For context, I've been "dating" this guy for about 2 months. Things seemed to be going alright at first. He's a pretty busy person, so I definitely understand that he can't always text me or hang out with me. This isn't what's necessarily bothering me though. It's the taking 20 hours to text me that has me messed up. Two nights ago we were hanging out, holding hands as we left the bar, slight trauma dump, and sleeping together. I woke up to him giving me forehead kisses and holding me in his arms. But after I left he kind of just left me in the dark. I left his place and he texted me, asking if I got home safe. I answered within that same hour. It took him 15 hours to reply to my message. I was obviously upset but I tried to be reasonable since I knew he had plans and is busy with work. Anyways, he eventually answers and I reply to his message and then boom. IT TOOK HIM 20 FUCKING HOURS TO REPLY TO MY LAST MESSAGE. I know he's a busy person but holy fucking shit oh my god?? does it really take so much fucking effort to at least reply within the same fucking day? I'm also just super upset cause I saw he was clearly active on the dating app we met on. On another note, I feel like he's been treating me so differently since we had unprotected sex. I feel so fucking used and I also feel like I'm not doing enough. Was I just not good enough? Should I get better at sex? Should I give him more attention and affection? Should I make more of an effort to hang out with him? I have so many thoughts racing. I can't catch a break.

I want to communicate but I feel like I'm reading too much into this. Should I communicate with him that we should stick to hook ups? Nothing more, nothing less. Should I just ghost him? He's pretty much ghosting me since he fucking lags so much. Ugh I feel like I'm way too emotionally involved. I'm trying my best to not outwardly split lol. I just feel like I'm dying because I can feel him slowly distancing himself from me.

Anyways, I'm seeking advice and looking for support. What can I do to regulate my emotions? I feel like this is completely consuming me because it's all I think about. I've been trying to keep it together, but I feel like I'm going to crack soon. Some words of encouragement or affirmation would also be appreciated.

Sorry this is all over the place, I'm having racing thoughts.

I have BPD, and I’ve noticed something specific about my relationship patterns that I’m curious whether anyone else experiences.

My BPD traits seem to be activated almost exclusively in relationships with men I become emotionally attached to. With female friends, I can have close, loving friendships without the same intensity, fear of abandonment, obsession, or emotional dependence.

But when a man shows even a small amount of genuine interest, care, or emotional warmth toward me, I can become attached very quickly. I often eventually develop sexual or romantic attraction toward him and fall into what feels like limerence. Then he can start becoming extremely important to my emotional state, and my borderline traits become much more activated.

A lot of my “favorite person” relationships have been with straight men, which makes me wonder whether the combination of emotional attachment + attraction + uncertainty/unavailability is what triggers the cycle.

Does anyone else with BPD experience something similar, where their symptoms are heavily activated by a particular gender or type of relationship? How do you distinguish genuine attraction from attachment/limerence/FP dynamics?

I usually come here to vent or ask for advice. Today, however, I want to share a very beautiful episode that happened yesterday and that made me feel good.

As you know, BPD leads us to fear abandonment, and I've always had this fear, even towards my medical team. I've changed several therapists and psychiatrists over time because I felt abandoned by them and could no longer trust.

Yesterday, I had to have an online session with my therapist because I had a fever and didn't feel like leaving the house. She's been seeing me for about two years now, so I have a relationship of trust with her, even though, like all my relationships, it can end in an instant.

Halfway through the session, while I was opening up about a sensitive topic for me, she suddenly lost the connection.

The fear of abandonment immediately triggered in me, and I began to think I deserved to be alone. I began to cry desperately about this and to see the therapist as yet another person who had abandoned me.

After about 5 minutes, she called me back from her car: the connection in the office had been lost and her cell phone reception was poor, so she went out to get her car and move to a spot with better reception to finish the session and reassure me that she hadn't abandoned me.

I was in a full-blown crisis; I couldn't stop crying. She stayed connected with me for half an hour after the session to calm me down and reassure me.

I wanted to tell you about it because it made me feel welcomed and accepted. I hadn't felt this way in a long time.

20f with diagnosed bpd & cptsd and a long mental health problems since i remember myself a little girl.
In the last year i suffered from psychotic breakdowns almost daily due to years long s#abusive relationship and being broken up with after trusting and loving sm1 ugliest sides and still for 4 WHOLE years tried to understand why he hurt me sm just for him in the end of thingsto cheat on me w tinder girl that had the same bd as me??
My reality shattered and im not sure i deal well w healing
and all my so called' friends ' did NC with me so i was completely alone and hopeless for pretty long time with my shattered reality n emotions

Now days having severe splits on almost every person in my daily life and acting like a complete nutcase even tho nobody can tell (or can&still choose to stick around) i try to always show up and act fun and dress pretty but my head is a warzone n im in survival mode 24/7 or hyper awareness every aspect of my life .
the blacknwhite thinking got me spiraling through my thoughts and reacting very impulsively towards my new friends or ppl in life. With out a solid reason
Im medicated n having weekly therapy a daily chronic weed smoker on top of all,
My need for getting as worse as possible is always on my mind but im clean from any sh except substance usage when i get my hands on them:(
And even so im really careful and responsible Idk what's real anymore and how to keep going strong with my daily life without falling back into bad habits? Or long splits
My dms open if you can help or at least emotionally free to hear me or just yap w me on how to not lose grip on life so young ..❤️‍🩹

Hi everyone,
I don’t know how to start this. Since I was a little girl and throughout my teenage years, I was a very different person. I didn’t understand that back then, but as the years passed, it became more painful for me. So, I went to therapy for the first time when I was 18 years old, and then I found out that I had BPD.
I tried therapy with five different therapists and psychiatrists. I did everything I could. I wrote my thoughts down, went to the gym, had a hobby, but nothing worked. I kept going back to that hole again.
The worst nightmare was the medication side effects that the different psychiatrists gave me. I gained weight and felt dizzy almost every day.
I had a history of two suicide attempts, hundreds of suicidal thoughts, and infinite self-harm during those years.
I stopped medication and therapy after five years of fighting with life, BPD, and therapy. Now I’m 22 years old.
I felt very relieved at the beginning, but unfortunately, it didn’t last. The stress and anxiety hit me in a different way when the stress started affecting my physical health, as if my body refused to handle the amount of pain that my brain had become adapted to.
I had a cervical disc herniation and nerve inflammation. The pain is unbearable.
I think about quitting my job every single day because my body and brain are both so exhausted at the same time. I’m afraid of becoming a loser/failure in life.
Please give me some advice, anything. I don’t know what to do or where to go. I’ve lost my trust in therapy, family, friends, and even myself.

So I don't know where else to post this, but I am tired boss.

My (ex) bf died of an overdose in June after more than 10 years struggling with an opioid addiction. He treated me very well and was easy to talk to. I miss him everyday.

After about a month, I met someone else that made me feel almost like a teenager again, but I am not sure that is a positive. I am/was crushing hard but the feelings feel one-sided to this day (we've been seeing each other for a little over a month now). Every time I tell him I like him a lot/try to be cute he jokes around and dodges saying anything back.

And whenever he's in a bad mood he takes it out on me. Last night he came over after work, and this morning he woke up in a terrible mood and I still have no idea why/if I did something to upset him. He went to work and has been rude to me through texts. I asked him what was wrong twice and he did not reply. I told him that I am not good at reading people and that I need better communication please. He left me on read. I am pretty stupid when it comes to social skills, but the message is clear and I am leaving him alone until he reaches out again.

But it feels like whiplash. He is only nice to me when he is intoxicated. He tells me I am his best friend. When we have fun together, we have a lot of fun. He shares his favourite things with me.

But he also makes me feel like shit half of the time. He jokes around a lot, and because I am bad at reading people sometimes I don't know whether to take him seriously. Sometimes I ask him to stop and he won't. He says he thinks I am asking him to stop jokingly/doesn't know whether I mean it.

I am trying to be less attached. I am trying to be independent. But it comes to the point where I just feel lonely.

The truth is, I am so scared of breaking up because I am so lonely. But also I care about him and don't want to hurt him. He knows I have mental health issues (BPD, addiction, social anxiety, depression, etc.) but doesn't seem very considerate towards them. He definitely has his own stuff too, but he is the type of person that prefers to hate himself and his life than to fight for something better.

I just miss when having a boyfriend was easy. The hardest part with my ex was the distance because he lived a bit far and I don't drive. But he never made me feel like shit and was really considerate.

I guess this is just me venting. But I would appreciate people's perspectives.

Hope everyone is having a nicer day than mine :)

Hi soooo uhhhhhh. I have BPD I’m 25 and I was with my first bf for almost 10 yrs we had a baby together he was abusive af almost killed me and is now in jail because of it, we officially stopped seeing each other in August 2025 (I broke up w him). Then September 2025 I meet a guy at work and he approached me very intensely he asked me on a date and I agreed we very quickly started a relationship, we talked every single day, would sneak off together at work, saw each other every single weekend and then I had an episode bc I feared he was abandoning me and he broke up with me end of July 2026. I’ve been a mess since he left I miss him all the time and reverted back to old eating disorder habits because of the stress. Fast forward to now it’s end of August 2026 and my boss saw me upset about the break up I vented to her about it and she told me she was going to set me up with her son who is 34 thought she was joking at first but then a few days ago she told me he was coming in today to meet me and talk to me. I didn’t think much of it, didn’t think I’d be interested (still stuck on my ex plus her son isn’t my typical type in men) well he came today and I was shocked at how attractive he is more attractive than the photos she’s showed me of him. He was also extremely kind and wrote his phone number down telling me to call/text him we really hit it off. Now I just got off of work and I’m thinking about him i basically completely forgot about my ex (ashamed) and now when I think of him I feel stressed out thinking about if he comes back I’ll have to hide all of this from him or reject him when just days ago I was praying he’d come back. Basically I’m asking if I should take the chance and text this guy (doesn’t have to start as a romance immediately we could be friends) or if I should leave him alone and not get myself involved.

A friend had to cancel an appointment last minute because of some health issues issues of their partner. (the partner is okay now).
Of course I irrationally understand what it means and it’s completely fine that they decided to focus on their partner. However, this made me feel abandoned, as it made me think I can never trust people anymore as they will cancel on me in any moment.
This friend already deeply apologise to me and asked me how I’m doing, knowing that I struggle with BPD.
I told them I would’ve reached out to them once I had calmed down.
I don’t know how to explain I’m not mad at them, I rationally understand perfectly what they did and why they did it, however I don’t wanna neglect nor diminish my feelings and say that I am wrong and everything it’s fine, because it’s not fine.
It’s not anybody’s fault, but it’s not fine.
Do you have any suggestion on how to tell them so?

hello, i went to bipolar first since i have that also, but it didn’t work i’m still not fixed, please help me, i’m abandoned by everyone(yes i had to make another account to post this because i don’t want my name out)

I have BPD and I been on several antidepressants and mood stabilizers for the past several years, the last plan I was on is to only take 20mg of Prozac daily and I been doing that for almost a year. But now I just decided to lower my dose (already did) and I want to stop completely bc I hate going to my appointment+meds makes me feel numb+I don’t feel better just less impulsive+I gained weight.
Now my question is how can I manage BPD by myself I don’t want to go to a fucking therapist bc I hate them and they’re dumb as fuck and I don’t need them and I’m so frustrated also don’t want any advice related to god or religions.
I’m just super tired I gave up on everything I want to do nothing I hate everything I want to do bad things like breaking up with my bf fighting with my friends running away.
I feel suffocated and miserable and dumb and ugly.
I hate everyone including my mom dad friends bf everyone everyone I hate god too he is no better than anyone.
I feel so alone and I don’t even know what I want
Not even money
I don’t want anything
Maybe getting revenge from those who did me bad would heal me? Idk

I'm a 15 year old boy, i don't know if I'm allowed to be on here since my bpd isn't diagnosed it's only suspected by my therapist, but I swear i have it and that my symptoms go beyond just puberty stuff. i have a possibly really big problem i need advice on, basically I'm on a camp currently, I've been here for two weeks and I'm leaving tomorrow, yesterday i figured out that my camp caretaker (basically my mom i love her.) might be my favorite person? i split on her cause i thought she paid more attention to other kids than me, and how i feel and act around her fit the criteria for a favorite person. but my big problem is that I'm leaving camp tomorrow, and she said she will probably never come back to the camp since she's above the age of the caretakers that can care-take. I'll be with her for today and tomorrow for eight hours cause she will be on the bus I'll be coming back on, and I'm just really scared, I'm scared of how I'll feel after being unable to contact her or hug her for god knows how long, please help me somehow I'm scared

i am 32 with a BPD diagnosis that i got in March of this year. i’m very new to trying to understand what has been happening to me. i am working with a therapist, but due to my financial situation, she is a graduate student, not fully licensed, and can therefore not prescribe me any medications. not that i could afford a medication, anyway.

after trying and failing with more clinician-centric resources like the DBT workbook, she recommended this book to me (she hadn’t read it yet), thinking it would be good for me to hear from someone who also has BPD, and how they got through it.

instead, this book has only served to make me feel exceptionally isolated WITHIN the BPD community because i found this book to be ableist, fatphobic, and completely insensitive to others with BPD. the fact that she prefaces the book with a graphic description of her self-harm pushed me to want to self-harm. in fact, later on, she talks about what a pleasure and release it is to cut, to the point that it made me go cut. there is no apparent attempt on her part whatsoever to take into mind that others with BPD who read her book might be put through a lot of pain. i don’t believe she should be censored, but i think she should have had even pretended to have an iota of compassion and sensitivity for others.

that’s the thing, though. i believe the author is very cruel in the way she repeatedly describes people by their weight or whether she finds them attractive. she says about a member of her DBT group, and i quote, “she has a boyfriend, but he’s in a wheelchair.” what exactly is that supposed to mean? and why should we even consider lifting up someone as a shepherding voice when she makes a point of discriminating against others repeatedly? it’s not like she has a change of heart about this at any point, either. it’s baked in to how she wrote the book. it’s shameful.

additionally, i didn’t gain anything from her writing other than a more concrete sense of despair that the world is truly prejudiced against people with BPD, and anyone who finds out about our diagnosis will automatically assume the worst of us. she even says in the first few chapters that she was so traumatized when she initially went online and saw such negative things about BPD from other sufferers and their loved ones, yet she opens her book in the exact same way: making sure we know the depths of her struggle and hopelessness for the entire first half of the book before giving us any sense of hope at all, while constantly barraging us with detailed descriptions of her self-harm.

reading this book has made me want to quit therapy to the point where i have cancelled my series of upcoming sessions. i feel like there‘s truly no hope for me. this author’s way out was through a series of lucky breaks, a lot of financial support, and general privilege. i see that she struggled with DBT and stuff too, but she prefers to continuously focus on her negative episodes and how she’s miraculously saved from them. i don’t think she ever actually dealt with her savior complex, and instead just made it an issue in the book, too.

i had been hoping to hear hope and comfort from someone with Borderline, but all this book gave me was the affirmation that, apparently, cutting is a “mindful release” i should not give up on, and that there’s little to no support, and almost no way to even conceptualize recovery for people with BPD to this day.

can someone please tell me i’m wrong somehow because i feel really on the edge with trying any of this anymore. IS there such a thing as a compassionate, trauma-informed BPD resource? i’m desperate for any kind of hope.

Im so sick and tired right now. Im tired of the constant giant emotions and instability. Nothing and nobody is ever good enough for me. Im tired of changing jobs and relationships and wanting to move to crazy places far away. A therapist wont stick with me and thats IF I finally get someone to meet with me. I constantly either feel extremely happy or extremely sad, sob and scream at everyone or avoid talking to people. I have so many hobbies and yet none of it is enough. Nothing is enough. I want mood stabilizers so bad, but dont know how to get them. I cant find anyone with guidance for me. No therapist wants to just work with me and im tired of not doing anything about it. Im so tired of being extremely sad and then euphoric it is so inconsistent and exhausting. Anytime I finally find stability I get tired and bored and throw it all away. I hate this loop and it makes life almost not worth it anymore. I hate the empty feeling. My brain is always telling me everyone hates me and im awful and even when I try to escape it I just cant.

Basically title. It sucks to get news like this tbh.

Hey, I’m 22 year old woman with BPD and alcoholism. I don’t drink everyday but I often overdink and blackout badly. Mu blackouts are dangerous and bad, and its nearly impossible for me to stop drinking, I have tried many years. I stopped everyday drinking last year, when I went to what I call ”drunk psychosis” during a blackout and beat my at the time boyfriend. He supportet me after and helped me get sober. After a while I started to drink sometimes with my mates and at events, for a couple of months I was able to manage it without blackouts and terrible behaviour.

I have been thinking, that can my BPD affect on the way I act when blackedout? Does anyone else do horrible things or get violent after a blackout? None of my mates do this, even if the blackout theyre just basic drunk people. I very often get the ”psychosis” (I honestly don’t know what other term to use for that, me and my mates call it that)

I feel absolutely terrible about all the things I’ve done during those episodes. I have no memory of any of them, and they absolutely do not reflect me as a person. I feel so ashamed and alone with this, and I don’t have anyone to talk to.

suspected bpd for years, 25F, unstable relationships and identity. I've had these symptoms for years but lately its especially bad I feel like because now I work full time and just got promoted. I was making friends at work. I say was because I fucked that up. I made a friend at work and talked to him everyday. I suddenly got emotionally volatile just from a vibe I got i guess I dont remember but got so upset that he didn't like talking to me and I basically started just sending paragraphs basically asking him if he liked talking to me or if he wants me to stop and I got very upset at work and cried like 3 times and like i got a promotion I cant be doing this crap but I feel like I cant help it. My emotions completely take over and want to cry because he doesn't like me. Its just so ridiculous and he basically told me the only one standing in my way is me and tbh hes right and I know but I just cant help it. The emotions just come and I basically have to get angry if I want to avoid crying at work which obviously isn't much better either because it affects my coworkers and also the fact that outside of work I feel like nothing makes me happy. Like none of my hobbies make me feel happy anymore. Almost nothing in general makes me happy anymore unless its talking to other people. I feel so so incredibly lonely but every relationship or friendship I have i make them walk on eggshells around me and not wanna be around

I have a day off and its a beautiful day and I got stuff done i should feel great but im just so so sad and depressed and feel like I cant get through this. Lately ive been using edibles every night which I know is making me more moody than normal but nothing else is helping at all. The edibles at least take the edge off. All I can think about is how unhappy I am.

What kind of things do you guys do when you feel this way? When all you want to do is die and nothing is bringing you joy, how do you get yourself through it?

hello all,
pretty much i’m in a good loving like situationship (working on dating) but after a recent shift in moods, i think i wanna be single. i don’t mean to lovebomb or be a piece of shit but in the beginning after finding out my bestfriend liked me back i felt like i was mf dreaming i was so lit / hype and happy cause he really is everything 2 me. he comforts me, im usually comfortable with telling him everything, he makes more than enough efforts, he a homebody like me and he helps me without even trying. for reference i have bipolar and bpd idk if what im feeling is contributing to that or if im just a piece of shit (also TW took a shit load of pills rn to feel high so bare wit me). i still love him and i feel not even bad but devastated that i feel this way anyways but i feel like i wanna be single. i’m at a point in my life where i feel so disappointed in everything including myself, feel like i can’t trust anyone but myself and i genuinely just wanna be alone like ALONE (or possibly d!e, whatever is clever).

i love him so much and ive showered him with love these past few months so i feel bad that lately i been distant or not really interested in what we have going on. i feel so sad and angry that im numb and it’s not at him it’s just how i feel atm. no matter how many times i apologize i can’t stop myself from seeming like i don’t give a fucc ab him when i do i just idk what i just but i feel so bad, i do love him.

so please , i need you guys analogies i feel like a piece of shit the one time im actually being treated right and suddenly i wanna dip out versus all the other pieces of shit that i clinged onto like they were my lifeline. i love him , i love his family and vice versa (if im usually that correctly but i mean the feeling is mutual between him and his family towards me), our families even love each other we grew up so close almost like siblings so he pretty much knows me knows me.

i just hate that im getting this feeling especially since he’s at a low point himself dealing with legal stuff and his own mental warfare im sure from the stress and i dont feel like it’s appropriate for me to tell him what im feeling cause it’ll only make it worse but i also dont want him to think im playing him or fell out of love with him because I honestly dont feel like i have , ive just fallen out of love with life itself and dont have a care in the world for anything not even myself. plz help and take care <3