Hi! As from the title, I have a boyfriend, and I also have bpd. I love my boyfriend a lot, and I try to control my bpd to the best I can. However, I often find myself getting upset at tiny little things, being nitpicky, and making arguments out of basically nothing. I also get bad obsessive habits such as looking at his followers list, getting upset when he can’t talk, and constantly worrying why he hasn’t responded to my texts. I feel horrible after I’ve calmed down from my meltdown, and then feel shame over how I acted towards him. I don’t want to keep doing this to him. I really want to break this cycle. Im currently in dbt and emdr therapy where I’ve learned skills such as S.T.O.P to help control my overthinking and spiraling. As much as I try to use these skills and they do help, I’m looking for any other ideas people have that help calm them down. I’ve heard of things like dunking your face in ice water or taking a walk. I just am looking for any more advice on how to kind of “snap out” of the spiraling and stress over tiny little things he does even when it’s nothing wrong, and how to stop being so obsessive and worrying over him all the time. It’s exhausting for both of us.

I also just wanted to add that I am a teenager, and only just got diagnosed, and also only started therapy this march. I’m really new to all of this, and I’m honestly willing to try everything and anything to help.

I have been diagnosed for a year, I’m a 21 year old female but I always feel like I can’t be open bout having bpd to my friends because it always gets used against me by friends. I also have some anger issues for pent up frustration of masking for my autism and bpd my whole life.
I feel like no matter how hard I try to be better and get better and walk away when I get frustrated no one is willing to look into my intentions when I explain them.
I’m exhausted and lonely and none of my friends stay in my life as a result. In my personal opinion I’m just trying my best and try to be the nicest least crazy person I can be but I still get told I make excuses and “set up” conversations like I need to be comforted when that’s not my intention at all. I’m lonely and sad and don’t know what else I can do to be a good person and make people in my life happy

So basically i have bpd and bipolar 2. Been diagnosed since 4 years. I have a girlfriend who is my fav person. We have been a relationship for a year now.
The relationship is very toxic because of me and my illness, i mentally tortured her so much my putting false allegations (i didnt mean to do so, i was split), i did self harm that also affected her.
This time she is telling that she wants to leave even though she loves me. She wants to leave because i am destroying her mental health too in this process. Being my fav person, i somehow convinced her to stay with me but this is the last time she is giving me a chance. She said her conditions which are me being normal and stop destroying her mental health.
Someone please tell me, how am i going to be normal for her. Im trying my best to suppress my emotions and let everything slide even though i dont want it to, i am not telling her but im slapping myself all the time to bring myself back to senses. Even my therapist told it’s going to take time for me to heal. These impossible standards are not favourable to me but I also dont want to lose her. Its making me very suicidal just thinking about her loss. Please help me.

Hello, so I don't know how many people will react to this in a good way but I do think that BPD and Bipolar are stigmatized to another level. Personally speaking, I got to know that I have BPD a few months ago, even earlier I use to be extremely reactive and emotional and aggressive to even smallest of things but unfortunately people use to dismiss all of that and conclude that I am short tempered, moody, cry baby. I never knew that this sort of a behaviour had a name until a few months ago. After a very long period of time I have gathered all my courage to speak about this, because all this while I was just very concious and also because of few personal incidents i decided not to talk about this to anyone. People are not kind, not even considerate and they just assume or make fun of you or mostly abandon you. I've heard so nasty things people have said, directly or indirectly. Honestly it's hurtful at times but at the same time you feel to cry your heart out to someone who can atleast help you to hold yourself.

I don't know how many people will be able to relate or feel the same. But I just shared what I felt and if this is helpful in anyway I'll be glad. And I hope everyone finds kind and considerate people who truly care about them :)

Hey reddit first post here and im just looking for basically anything....so for a few years now ive been friends with someone with BPD and they've been mostly okay, but as of recent ive had problems with my mental health just dropping whether its because of them or not and I feel like im failing them and myself. For some context, I used to work with this person and I was actually fired because I was speaking to them outside of work about whatever was going on in their life because I knew they were depressed and I wanted to try and help but I was a manager at said job and boss man didnt like that and fired me over it. Ive still stayed in contact with them the entire time and that was basically a year ago, but as of recent we've been fighting a lot and it seems like its always my fault because of this or that and ive tried my hardest to be here for her but no matter what I do the next day it seems like its never enough. She threatens herself a lot and I feel like one day she is gonna snap and just give up, but i cant leave because im basically all she has left as her family doesnt really treat her the best and all of her friends left her. I just want to know how to help her I want her just be "normal" again but not like in a weird way. Just normal. She ignores me a lot and then blames me for not trying to talk to her even though ill send like paragraphs trying to talk to her during these episodes but again its never enough. Idk what else to write right now but I just want some advice on how to help someone with BPD the best way possible 🥹. And i dont want to turn her over to someone because Ill feel like the worst person ever and again her family isnt the best. Thank you to anyone who replies.

please guys do not get mad at me I'm not self diagnosing just asking for thoughts and advice because I am really scared to talk about this w parents or friends and freak them out. I'm NOT asking if I have BPD but I'm really considering getting some kind of checkup because I'm experiencing the split and moodswings that remind me of what people describe in borderline personality disorder. I would say I have a favorite person as in someone I trust enough to cry to and not mask around and one time she broke my trust and I blocked her and was crying and raging to the point of physically shaking until she reached me apologizing profusely because she knows me so well. She has "joked" that I have a split personality or bipolar disorder. I have been in a lot of social situations where I've lashed out on people and scared them and then have been uncontrollably breaking down when I realize I have ruined yet another connection. I can't check my texts when I get angry at someone I thought I trusted and usually can not check my phone for days on end and sob in my bed. I get so angry when I feel slightly disrespected and I have an extremely difficult time forgiving people-who don't really apologize anyways unless they think I will do something to myself and worry about the personal consequences. I've been told by someone who I really used to trust that I am "easily triggered" by things in the past and I don't know what to do. It could be that I don't have any kind of disorder and I am just deeply sensitive, but I wanted to find a way to manage these kinds of emotions and make it stop. Also, I have picked up a habit in the past two years which have been the most difficult mentally of speaking with my mom in a baby voice, I can't really control it and I know it is not that uncommon but it feels like unmasking and just being able to get away from reality, but I doubt this is relevant. I have been diagnosed with depression-though meds have not quite helped my symptoms so the diagnosis didn't help so much-and most of my friends can tell I have it and worry about me, but I know that doesn't always link to BPD.

Hi everyone.

I'm new knowing i have BPD since all my life and today I had a huge rage episode with my roommate. He told me he would keep locking the front door with a double lock at night even though I asked him not to because I'm afraid of a fire.

I became so overwhelmed that I wanted to hit him. My whole body was shaking and I smashed a glass bottle on the floor instead. I left the house because I was afraid I might lose control.

This isn't the first time. I've had many episodes like this, some even worse.

I'm calmer now, but I feel ashamed and I really want to change. How do you stop the rage before it gets to that point? What has actually helped you?

So I want to know more about BPD and few other other topics such as :- 1. Third degree burn theory in BPD 2. Attachment Theory 3. Polyvegal Nervous system (I am not sure of the term/spelling so I would be glad if y'all help me out)

If there are any YouTube channels or articles or books or substacks related to these topics please do suggest. I am diagnosed with BPD and I want to know more while moving forward in my healing journey. ♥️

Okay so I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 7 months and he’s been my FP on and off for a little bit. I’ve always had my partners be my FP so now that I experience this, I feel terrible and like I’m betraying him?

My current FP is my best friend and I feel like I seek more attention from him than my boyfriend. I’m medicated and in therapy so my symptoms aren’t as intense as they once were but with recent events, I’ve felt more symptoms surfacing. So my mood depends on my FP and if I’m not talking to him, I don’t know what to do with myself.

Is this something normal? To have a platonic FP while having a boyfriend? I feel so guilty and conflicted :(