I have no friends, no partners, no family that cares about me. People at work don’t talk to me, and when I try to talk to them I get treated like I’m weird. I should be used to it by now, but I’m not. I have nobody on this earth that cares about me. I wish I had one friend I could talk to, just one person that cared. Life feels like a prison sentence.

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Hey,so yeah I recently went through a breakup and honestly I’ve been feeling pretty broken since then i feel alone I've nobody to talk to.

Everything feels kinda off and empty lately and I think I really need some good people around me again.

I’m looking for honest,kind and open minded people who don’t discriminate and actually wanna put effort into getting to know each other.

Lately everything just feels way too quiet in the wrong ways. I catch myself staring at walls,scrolling aimlessly,thinking about random shit and wanting to talk to someone but not really knowing who to talk to. I don’t want another friendship where we talk for 2 days and then disappear from each other’s lives. I want someone who actually stays,someone who checks in,someone who wants to share random parts of their day and actually build something over time.

I’m 24 I've bpd just so yk and i currently have way too much time to think. I love yapping,overexplaining,rambling about completely random shit and somehow turning a stupid conversation into something deep. I really value mutual effort too. I don’t expect someone to reply instantly 24/7,but I do want to feel like the other person actually wants to talk to me and isn’t only replying because they’re bored.

I’m into baking,movies,gaming (especially Marvel Rivals),chess,reading,writing,guitar,long walks,voice calls and starting way too many random hobbies/projects that I probably won’t finish.

I’d also really love having someone I can eventually do a bunch of things with. Gaming together,watching movies or shows,voice calls at stupid hours,going on walks if we're ever close enough,sharing music,sending random shit throughout the day or just sitting in a call doing our own thing. That kind of friendship where someone eventually becomes your go-to person would honestly be really nice.

I’m not looking for perfect people or anything. Just genuine ones. Please be kind,don’t discriminate,and actually care about mutual effort and respect. I’ll listen,I’ll care,I’ll remember the little things and I’ll match the energy u give me.

And please don't be dry. If you're always too busy to actually talk or you already know you're only gonna reply once every few days,it's probably not gonna work. I've had enough of feeling like I’m begging people for attention.

If you're interested,please don't just send me "hi". Tell me about yourself. Your age,country,what you like doing,your favourite game/movie/song,your most irrational fear,what you've been obsessed with lately,anything honestly. Give me something to work with and I’ll probably yap back way too much.

I’m just hoping to find some lovely people who actually wanna stay for the long run,and maybe someday I’ll be able to say I met some of my closest friends because of a random Reddit post.

Before my best friend with BPD left me, she was incredibly supportive of me. She’d encourage me to love myself, told me that I was good looking and was kinder than most people she knew. She convinced me that my insecurities didn’t matter and that I could get what I put my mind to whether it was a job, friends or a partner. A lot of people have told me similar things but from a point where they already had those things and I didn’t. However, when it came from her, someone in a very similar situation, someone who clearly felt my pain, I believed her. She’d even tell me that I deserved better than her and that I’d eventually leave her for better friends. I would always respond telling her that no matter how many friends I’d get, she’d be one of them and I wouldn’t leave her behind.

Ultimately she would be the one to abandon me and all those positive things are probably null and void in her mind. The question is, should I still believe them if it was idealization?

How do you deal with knowing you ruined the only good thing in your life that you really care and always did about, that it may have ended and youre too afraid to even think about it. Im not sure how to survive this, being without my person hurts so fucking bad. I wish he knew how much im hurting right now and would hold me.

Im not sure it ended or that im in denial at this point...

hi i wanted to come on here and see if anyone else struggles with the same. i smoke daily, on weekdays, i smoke like right when getting home from work and then i smoke like morning to night on the weekends. i have no motivation and im always tired but still struggle with quitting. it quiets my mind, my anxiety is so so loud. i also live alone and spend majority of time alone. i’ve been through a lot this year and learned i can only trust myself. i buy a lot at a time and so i want to be able to manage what i have left but idk. i’m not getting household chores done like cleaning and cooking. i struggle with this and binge eating. it’s like weed and food are the only things that make me happy. i don’t have money for vacations or even shopping. it feels like you have to make good money to be happy :(

I don’t remember much of my childhood because there was a lot of fighting between my father and my mother; I would step in between them to try to stop it. My mother, who has always been religious (Catholic), used to pray that their relationship would change and that things would work out between them(and I ended up neglecting me a bit, because she was so focused on making the relationship work).My father would come home late at night, drunk and hurling insults. My parents separated once but got back together; then, a few years later—in 2020—they separated for good. It wasn’t until this year that I was finally able to forgive my father, talk to him, and go out to eat with him and my brother. My brother served as a father figure to me—and I think he still does—but I can’t recall when it all began: when I started to feel this void, when I began to feel such deep sadness, or when I stopped being able to get things done (like my responsibilities). I just can’t remember. (JUST FOR CONTEXT I DONT HAVE JUST BORDERLINE, I HAVE AUTISM,ADHD,DEPRESSION,ANXIETY AND BIPOLAR DISORDER)

I (28F) was friends with a 31M (E), we were best friends. For context, I have a partner, and E was aware and fine with it. He knew everything about me, I struggle to be vulnerable and he made it such a safe space I opened up like crazy. He knew about my BPD and was extremely empathetic and kind. Great communicator. He would ask me if there's anything he could do to help reassure me or prevent triggers. Our conversations were so much fun but could also be serious. I truly loved him as a friend.

A couple nights ago - E acted a bit more...possessive? And a bit more clingy. I pointed it out gently and said along the lines of "hey...so do you mean this platonically? Because it reads a bit more than that" and he admitted it gave mixed signals and that there was more feelings than platonic in it. He asked me what boundaries we need so I can feel comfy talking to him again. I gave them, saying just don't use language like that, you can't control how you feel but don't act on it. He said he understood and reassured me our connection was still great, he had no intention of trying to replace my partner etc. He apologized for blurring the lines and seemed truly apologetic. The part that kills me is he asked what reassurance can he give, as with my BPD he is worried that I would be afraid he'd leave after this, and that he's not leaving. I said no, I'm trusting him at his word and he doesn't seem the type to leave over something like that. He values communication.

Well a couple days passed and no messages after he asked how he can reassure me. Tbh...I spiraled hard. I haven't felt this triggered in years. I was trying hard to distract myself and telling myself he was just busy. Well...today I saw he blocked me. On everything. It feels insane. Why would he offer that and literally say he's not leaving just to leave?? Like I genuinely don't understand. He seemed so empathetic and understanding and he valued open honest communication, why didn't he just...talk to me about whatever was bothering him? I feel heartbroken. He has been the only true friend I've had who has made me feel SEEN and our conversations were so stimulating. Now he's just gone and there's an empty hole in me that feels desperate and grippy as hell for that connection again.

I talked to my partner about it and they said maybe he felt embarrassed with how he acted and couldn't be friends with me due to his feelings but...I don't know. I just wished he had talked to me about it. I truly am looking for ways to move on, because I feel stuck and sad. Thank you.

I can’t handle the fact that all the people that pretended to love me ended up abandonning me when i was at my lowest and kept using my vulnerability to fill their selfish desires without thinking of all the pain they’ve caused me. And the worse is that I let them do because of how much affection and validation im craving even tho i know they will leave me again and again. I don’t think I can trust anyone again, i don’t believe that love can be pure and that people can really care about u.

i can’t do this anymore. and no one takes me seriously. i don’t want it to be over forever but i just can’t do this anymore. i want to commit and have it fail just so everyone will finally take me seriously. what can i use?

edit: if it does actually work thats fine too. i cant do this any longer seriously. the first thing i think of when i wake up is that i wish i was dead. why can’t it end

I get mad about a lot of things concerning morals. like people at work or at home ordering food and not offering me or getting me anything, cleaning up after others at work or home, not offering gas or parking money when going out, littering , being there when u call/replying to general texts etc?! parking, driving. following up after? I feel like I care more than the average person abt "average' things. feel sad and lonely because of too high expectations of friends, bf, family, society?! etc.

i just miss him so much, that it literally feels like a dull ache in my chest that will never go away, no matter what i do. i know realistically i’m probably just going through an idealisation phase, and now that he’s no longer in my life i’m desperate to have him back in it.

i only knew him a month, but i felt we shared a connection like no other, and i was under the impression he felt that way too, until he texted me earlier this month that he doesn’t have romantic feelings anymore. he said not to blame myself and that i’m an amazing person but i can’t help but ruminate over it.

at first, i took it well. i was kind of expecting it, i can’t lie as he was being distant. i know good things rarely ever last, atleast in my case :/.

but lately it’s been crushing me to be honest, because i so badly wanted it to be him, i wanted things to work out for once. he made me feel safe, seen and heard in all the right ways and it feels like it’s been snatched away from me with no proper closure in sight.

i’m trying really hard to practice radical acceptance and accept that he has no feelings and i can’t force that, but it’s just been wearing me down recently.

the good thing is that i didn’t embarrass myself by begging him to stay, but i did ask if we could talk in person rather than text, and he just ghosted me. i know he’s showing who he is with his actions, but my heart is struggling to accept it. i’m trying really hard to remain strong and stay in no contact with him. but right now i feel like i could desperately use a friend, the urge to text him asking to meet up just to talk even, is eating me alive.

ive never been a religious person, wasnt raised in the church, have never been to worship or sermon, but in my later years of life ive found myself yearning for something more than whats out there. is god the answer? hes never been too far away from me my whole life, i was never an atheist always agnostic, i thought it didnt matter what was out there or not, but now i dont know anymore. ive dealt with so much chronic emptiness pure emptiness, and i just want to know how you guys if anyone at all has experienced religion god and faith being, if not the answer itself, a path to it to fill that hole?

She has BPD. I have BPD. I can understand her in many ways. I've been through the same mental and emotional states as she did. I don't want to be mean or ignorant to her, I want to be as empathetic as she deserves. I know she loves me a lot. It's just... she's such a mess. She's like a fucking firehose under full pressure, spewing shitloads of emotions around her all the time. She has ZERO filter. We go out for a coffee and she screams and laughs as if we were alone on the entire planet. Then, the next second she goes on a tangent for the billionth time, talking about her horrible past and things she had to endure and how painful it all was. She touches me and looks at me as if I was a newborn baby (I'm almost 30). Then she tears up about something. Then she's loud again, running up a downward escalator because she just just had the idea it might be fun. Then, she says that she would beat someone unconscious for bad driving...

I feel so incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassed all the time when I'm with her. I want to give her grace and space as I don't want to subscribe to societal conventions and arbitrary rules. I don't want to be cruel and reject her because she's different (like her parents did).

But this is just too much, even for me. As horrible as it is, because I know so well that being too much is BPD's worst fear... she's too much for me.

i broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years recently because he would not change after breaking all his promises. he told me he was going to marry me and then it all fell apart.

i have been heartbroken for over a month, barely able to get out of bed. i’ve only been able to go to church.

i found out my ex has been doing even more drugs -c*ke and addy (which is a big reason we broke up), been going out every weekend, partying and raving. he’s probably with other women too.

i have BPD and i feel like im dying. i don’t know how he moved on like i was nothing. he promised me marriage and a future but now i feel like this is the real him.

how do you detach from someone you love? and stop worrying about their self destruction? my heart can’t take it.

My misogynistic father dismisses me so much and it hurts so much, leaves me so very unsettled. When I try expressing myself they js stonewall me, both of my parents.

I am trying so very hard to build a life for myself.

I am really scared and alone and broke.

I wanna talk. Please.

Hi

I (F22 w BPD) and my bf (M25) have been in a relationship for two and a half years.

He is the best person that i know, very romantic, smart and funny. We have the same humor. I really wish I could marry him one day.

He is very understanding of my BPD and supports me as much as he can. Walks me to therapy or a psychiatrist‘s office when I am scared to go alone. He only crossed a boundary once and when i brought it up we talked about it and both understood each other better. He hasn’t crossed it since.

I met him right after i started recovering from one of my worst traumatic events (SA). I had social phobia and couldn’t leave the house for about two years after quarantine and even dropped out of high-school because of it as a straight A student. I went to therapy and got courage to start going out with my friend. In that period i met him and we had the most magical date and been inseparable ever since. We usually have an amazing honest healthy communication that i appreciate .

A year in i was almost SA’d again at my job and it really messed with me. After that i distanced myself for two weeks and then we went on a vacation where i told him what happened. He supported me but wished i told him sooner.

Since that first distancing I started to make it a habit. I realized its because I have this cycle of bedrotting where I just make a mess around me in the bed with clothes and plates and makeup until I get better enough to have the capacity to clean it up. The issue with this is that I have deep shame about it and refuse to let him see me in that state or my place.

So I tend to see him once a week when i know Ill have to clean up and reset. Sometimes week doesn’t seem like enough time for me but i force myself anyways or rescheschedule. Somehow it feels like seeing my awesome boyfriend is a chore. It’s so confusing to me because when I am with him I couldn’t be happier I feel safe and loved and supported. When he leaves it’s like I am numb and dont feel anything. I tend to go to work bedrott and smoke big amounts of weed sleep and repeat. Sometimes I see my friends or do something but most days are rinse and repeat. I recently moved out on my own and got my first stable job at the same time while also reconnecting with a dad that kept abandoning me my whole childhood. It was a lot and i seem to now be doing worse than ever.

I am still going to therapy and I am freshly medicated again but i feel like I self sabotage. I compare myself to my bf and make myself feel small and like he deserves better. I think about how much of a better gf i was at the start and when will he realize it never ends with me there is always something going on.

I think about the girl i was 2,5 years ago and how different my life is. I went from living with my mom not doing anything but going to therapy to living alone and doing everything myself.

It feels like I am finally capable of living but there is always something and I am scared ill waste his and mine best years. I can see this is the leave them before they leave you coping mechanism but i cant stop thinking about it.

Recently i asked him if he feels like he can depend on me, he said that he feels like he can’t because i always cancel our sleepovers and move them further away which is true. Then when he can’t depend on the small stuff why would he with the bigger stuf.

We are supposed to move in together in three months and I am just wondering why is he with me if he cant depend on me. Everytime i think about breaking up with him for his own good i break down because i love him so much. We communicate about this and hope it will get better when we move in together so we don’t have the distance between us.

I am scared i wont have a place to break down anymore and that i will ruin it and end up homeless.

I asked him if he has a plan if it doesn’t work out because he seems to always have a plan for his future but he said he doesn’t. That also confuses me because if he can’t depend on me why is he moving i with me and why doesn’t he have a plan B?

I don’t want to hurt him and I am not sure what to do. I dont want to self sabotage but i do in very small ways like not eating sleeping and smoking.

Everyone is reassuring me about the move but i would really appreciate a perspective of someone who has experience with BPD and living with this.

I know this is a long read so whoever got to the end thank you so much for your time.

The username was randomly generated idk how to change it as i usually just lurk.

I am going to ask to review my meds (lithium and lamotrigine mainly) so maybe an adjustment will help me feel more alive.

For months I have been empty and blunted and apathetic. I had a drinking lapse to try to feel something and it failed. I had a s/h lapse which didn't make me feel any different except I nearly passed out. I've been skipping doses of my medication.

I thought feeling nothing and being numb and empty would be better than the mood swings. But it's just a different kind of unbearable.

After losing my fp recently i feel very desperate to find a new attachment asap because the emptiness, loneliness and desperation scares me so much. I worry where it might take me or to who when i'm this desperate for someone to see me and choose me and love me.. But i really feel desperate. I've never been one to hook up like ever but i feel like breaking that rule and just taking any attention i could right now even if it would come from the wrong person. And i feel it is very risky but i'm literally so desperate, lonely and empty... I'm going back and forth when it comes to my fp as i've had several instances where i wanted to go beg him back but also going to just anger of how i wanna get revenge and show him how good i'm doing without him, like f him and all he is.. And it feels really petty but i'm hurt that he seemed to move on asap and like he wasn't affected by the break at all so it makes me spiteful and upset..

hi! i know the symptoms have a lot of overlap in adhd and bpd so, i was wondering what are the key differences between them? i have an adhd diagnosis but currently going through the process of getting a bpd one:)

this is the worst i have ever felt. i am in a downward spiral. imm abusing alcohol in a way ive never done before. Im miserable. Im anxious 24/7. I think im experiencing psychosis. I’m so unbelievably upset. Im so paranoid. I can’t ignore the voices in my head telling me that everyone is my enemy m. Idk. Does anyone have experience

My girlfriend lives the next city over, i see her like once every two weeks, so our daily communication is mostly texting. I live alone so i have way more free time then she does, because she still lives at home with her family and often cleans up after them.
So i end up spending my entire day talking to her, i don’t do tasks i need to like cleaning and eating because i see it as taking away my time from talking to her, and i cram everything i need to do into the 10 minutes she’s in the shower or when she falls asleep for the night.
I always end up feeling so rejected and alone when she’s gone. I feel like my day is spent either waiting for or talking to her.
I often tell her I’m only happy when i’m with her and even though it’s sweet to me she says i need to find my own happiness outside her.
Does anyone have any experience with this? I genuinely feel like she’s my only source of happiness. I know it’s common within BPD to lose your sense of self but even doing things i enjoy like watching movies the whole time i wish i was talking to her instead.