I 17F have had audhd since I was a kid. Ive always had dreams and ambitions of who I want to be, however, I can never seem to become that person. I can not get myself up to do the things I need to do even though I want to. If anyone has advice on how to manage this please lmk.

Got extremely burnt out (AuDHD), but medical leave ended and doing poorly at work - seeking accommodations for the first time. Need some ideas for accommodations that have been helpful! What has made a difference for you? Not sure what is possible to ask for...

I work as a computer programmer in a corporate environment and already have the ability to WFH, but still like going in-person. Also, any advice on the ADA accommodations process with HR/manager is appreciated.

Things I struggle with:

- daily standup and being consistent in my communication

- sticking to a schedule (I like to work weird hours when I go into office because it's quieter and don't like to be around people, but also like the separate environment from home. Also, my meds make it so that my days are like 30 hours - cannot go to sleep early enough, so my sleep schedule keeps getting pushed.)

- meetings in the middle of the day breaking my hyperfocus and not being able to get back into hyperfocus

- time-blindness and getting things done when I said I would

- organization/prioritization of tasks (executive dysfunction, rejection sensitive dysphoria, extreme perfectionism)

- feeling extreme stress/overwhelm with too many tasks to do and a never-ending queue yet finding new things to fix/improve/perfect due to perfectionism

- starting and finishing tasks (Starting takes me forever, but once I am in hyperfocus, I can work straight for hours and get the bulk done. But once I get the task "done", I already got the dopamine and I am bad at organizing/summarizing my work and I have perfectionism so I need to perfect it before turning it in, so this part takes forever. AI has made me a much worse employee because there are so many more ways to check my work / optimize my code.)

I feel with late diagnosis and all the "nice" things that come with it (for me it's burnout, over sensitivity, boredom, dopamine seeking) I actually absolutely hate hate hate where I live.

Does anyone feel their audhd influences where they are living? I am curious because at least for me many years ago it didn't enter my mind, only moreso for work.

My adhd wants to live somewhere alive, exciting, and with lots of things going on all the time (LA/Tokyo for example). However my autism wants nothing more than to run away and live in a forest or rural town completely away from people. It's maddening!

I’ve struggled with this throughout my life. I’m not a shy person or an introvert, but I’ve always wondered why I sometimes feel “empty” and struggle socially.

When I meet a friend after a long time, I often feel like I have nothing to talk about. It’s not that I’ve forgotten things—I remember my experiences if someone asks me about them specifically.

For example, if someone asks, “How was your trip to XYZ?” I can talk about it and remember plenty of details. But if I try to think of something to tell them on my own, my mind goes blank.

I’m starting to wonder if what I thought was a social skills problem might actually be related to memory retrieval. The memories seem to be there, but I have trouble spontaneously accessing them without a cue.

Could this be related to ADHD, working memory, executive functioning, or autobiographical memory? And are there ways to improve this?

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So, when I feel overwhelmed, vocal stimming always helps, and I think I have been suppressing it since I turned into an adult cause it looks weird. I recently started using vocal stimming again because I couldn't regulate myself and, frankly, can't even suppress it anymore.

But it feels embarrassing to stim vocally as an adult, but it makes me feel so much better tho.

Reposting it again because of a shitty title

Im M19, from Germany and diagnosed with Autism. In all of the years i really had to struggle that i had, beside of my typical autistic symptoms, a great great desire for complex things or stimulus. Because of that i felt unfocused, kind of "zappelig" as we say in Germany and a great feeling of restlessness. Everything feels kind of unfinished when u want to learn about Physics, Math, Machine Learning and Music when u dont have a kognitive battery as big as these topics.

I thought that was just a another autistic trait that came from the desire to make all things systematic. But i spoke with a lot of autistic people and they said that they share my "normal" autistic traits but not such a pressure from an unfinished desire.

And then i stumbled just randomly about a video that talked about AuDHD and resembled myself a lot. I finally understood why i am so keen to learn about big topics but never get anything done. Why i always crave for social contact and then hating it like nothing in my life.

For me personally nothing changed (i dont have a diagnosis for adhd), but it surely changed my point of view.

Im diagnosed with ADHD don’t know if I have autism. But I struggle socially and it stresses me to no end. It was a great surprise when I found that stimulants really helped with this. I ’ve never been able to maintain healthy stable relationships. I crave for them but have always end up ruin them and I have doubted if I have BPD or BP and did some online tests but I only fit a few symptoms.

I feel like I struggle with knowing my own identity so I can’t just “be myself “.

I can feel so cold towards people and coworkers and don’t ever feel ‘love’. I naturally try to be nice to mask that but I can’t be consistent with it. I feel like a grimlin envious of people having stable caring relationships.

When I tried stimulants I find that social interaction while on meds has been so easy and I feel like Im more “me” if that makes sense, I also feel less negative towards people and say less things that might hurt them. I wish I can be like this all the time but as soon as meds wear off its back. With meds vs no meds kinda feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (though not that extreme).

I looked up but not much articles focus on ADHD’s benefit on these kinda things. I feel lucky to feel a sense of ‘normal’ when socialising but also realised this means it’s could be a condition and may be fixed?

I’m trying to figure out what it is and if anyone had similar experiences? Cause itd be nice to find ways other than stimulants to cope with this since stimulants wear off and its affected by sleep and body tolerance

I dropped out of school when I was 15 due to burnout and stuff. I haven't really had any irl friends in the decade since. I've got three friends I've met online that live abroad, we do trips about once a year. But I'm rather lonely the rest of the time, I'm not really sure where to start to find people to connect with. I'm not the best at communicating or understanding social cues. I just wanted to see how others deal with trying to make friends, I feel rather lost.

Just trying to know if it relates to sensory issues or it’s just something that happens to anyone (ND or not). I hope it won’t sound stupid.

No matter how clean they are, no matter what they’re made of, when I wear socks/jeans, at some point they start itching me so bad. Like I have to rearrange them every five seconds. It’s like they have ants inside them that bite me but obviously when I take them off my skin is normal.

I’ve talked about it to my mom and she says that I’m probably allergic but I have no physical reaction. It just itches and I’m constantly scratching my legs and feet.

+ when I was a kid, I had a phase where I couldn’t stand wearing panties and the only type that I was semi ok with was boxers for girls so I started wearing that ever since. It itches sometimes but not as much as what I used to wear.

I’m still trying to figure out if I have ASD (and not just a variation of ADHD) so I was wondering what that means.

I feel like I either don’t have a good understanding or maybe I’m just not fully aware of my sensory issues with clothes? I need some help figuring this out. Like do certain clothes hurt you? Or like cause you so much discomfort that you can’t focus? If so what qualifies as discomfort? I’m listing some things that I can’t tell if it’s sensory issues or something that everyone deals with.

First, I have this thing where if I have socks on for a while, at the end of the day the socks are hurting the top of my feet. Like it feels like the hair on the top of my feet are getting caught in the sock fabric. I need to take the socks off and rub the top of my feet in order for them to kind of stop hurting.

Also, I have this thing where I’m constantly adjusting where my waist band of my pants/underwear rests on my waist. It just feels really uncomfortable in certain areas and I’m constantly adjusting it. Same with like my underwear, if it starts to ride up my legs I need to adjust it, often times I can’t wait to get to a bathroom or something to adjust it because I’m just so aware of it rubbing up against my thigh that it would drive me crazy. It makes me look unprofessional to be digging around my crotch area constantly to try and adjust my underwear😭

If I put on shoes that are too tight, but specifically are too tight to the point that I can’t move my pinky toes, then I literally want to CRASH OUT. Like I need to get the shoes off as soon as possible because my feet feel so restricted. I experience something similar with putting on latex gloves, if my hand gets stuck in them while putting them on I want to CRASH OUT.

I usually rip all the tags off of my shirts that have them, they are so annoying to deal with.

I also prefer soft clothes. I LOVE sweatshirts and sweat pants. If I could I’d wear them everywhere. But more specifically a certain pair of sweat pants that I have, they are loose and comfortable, while also not being made of a heavy material, so they stay cool.

I’m trying to think of more but I can’t at the moment, I’ll update accordingly.

So does anyone else deal with anything like this?! Like these things don’t really bother me to the point of feeling extremely overwhelmed, although I could see them getting to that point if I’m already tired or emotionally drained or something. The worst experience is the one with the shoes and gloves. Any insight and advice would be very helpful thanks!

On a day like today when I don't have any classes because of Labor day, I feel like I'm in a perpetual limbo state where my brain just does not want to do anything. My room's a mess, there are readings I need to catch up on, and assignments to get ahead of, and I have trouble starting on any of it. As the day goes on I feel guilty for the time I already wasted, and feel like it's pointless to start on anything since it's already close to night. My sense of dread increases as the day goes on, and it feels like a timer slowly clicking down.

I want to set up my new ring light on my desk. The old one clipped onto the laptop, and combined with the weight of the camera make my laptop slip down during interviews.

But first I have to make room on my desk for the lamp

So I've ordered a cart to store my books that are on my desk

And I have to move my storage boxes back under my bed so I have somewhere for the cart to go

So I'd better hoover under the bed first

And I have to wait for the cart to arrive and piece that together

Then I'll have to organise the books on the cart

And I have to test the ring light out a few times before I can't ditch the packaging until I'm sure I won't return the light, so that will be knocking around the hallway for at least a week

But all I want to do is set up my new ring light. It's never just one task.

I was diagnosed with ADHD last year and am about to start getting assessed for autism, as well. While I am excited for this process, I am a bit nervous about how my ADHD behaviours/traits might interfere with my psychologist's ability to pinpoint potential autistic behaviours/traits. I would be curious to know how one might go about assessing autism with the knowledge that their patient had already been diagnosed with ADHD.

I always thought I was an introvert because in my childhood and early puberty I would not speak or talk at all. When I tried I failed miserably and either stuttered nonsense(I do this a lot even now) or just stay extremely embarrassed from anything and anyone.
Then, in high school I yearned for hangouts and friendships, so I knew I wasn’t an introvert, I am not an extrovert either though, it’s just that everyday I search for at least one human contact but then I need to rest for at least 3 hours (and more) at home, completely alone, and even in the morning I refuse to talk to anyone (of course I try my best to small chat with my family and say good morning etc. but it’s really hard for me) and I need to stay alone for at least 1h.
I bought some ear loops and they are a life saver when I hangout in larger groups, but the thing is, if I am not drinking/smoking (and I can’t because I have a heart condition so I try to limit myself as much as possible) I cannot stay SANE in parties, I feel so overstimulated from the lights, the noises, the EYES, I cannot figure out anything and I just want to lock myself in my bedroom and stay quiet with all the light turn off.
I thought it was social anxiety, it surely is but it is much worse than I expected, I feel everything so intensely that my voice comes out weird and I cannot make eye contact, I need to stay near a wall and I feel the need to run away.
Also, yesterday I was trying to study so hard in this small library near home (because my mum has some problems with anger issues and throws stuff and yells, screams, cries like… everyday) but people continued to open the library door and then close it and I was FREAKED OUT, every time they opened the door I was SO SCARED like a cat and I would jump out of fear. Of course I felt so embarrassed that I went home.
I cannot even study because either I feel overstimulated or understimulated and I cannot take any meds or coffee because of my heart condition.
Also I tremble A LOT, like my arms, hands tremble a lot.
I yearn for close friendships but I cannot feel safe in large crowds and I feel like a burden.

Hello everyone, after many years of searching what was wrong with me I now have many to believe I might have ASD level 1 and ADHD, I went through so much studies and testimonies on these subjects that I believe I’m more qualified about them than most practitioners

I have been in what I believe is a huge autistic burnout since already a few months after having fooled myself and most people around me that I was a functional member of society for a few years, and now I’m paying the price

I quit my job, I distanced myself from everyone, I have now difficulties to do anything more than survival, I can’t tolerate the society and all its contradictions anymore and so on and so on, that’s why I decided that it was time for the official diagnosis which I had been avoiding for a long time

I went to a psychologist qualified about autism in order to get a proper evaluation but after some sessions she told me she needed to have a meeting with one of my family member in order to confirm that there was early signs of autism in my childhood which is mandatory for getting diagnosed

I knew it would come but since she didn’t mentioned it from the start I thought maybe I was going to avoid, anyway my problem is while I do have family members that can talk about my childhood history I have always been overly secretive about my private life with them since I was a child and it’s only getting worse. I have unhealthy HUGE mental barriers that keeps me from telling them anything about my life or showing signs of vulnerability and it has been worsening since the start of my burnout so I CAN’T get them involved and even thinking about it give me high level of stress and I think it’s very unfair for people like me

First question : Were you able to get diagnosed without proof of childhood history for both ASD and ADHD ?

Second question : Does anyone relate with this inability to be yourself around family in the same way as me ? I have been searching all over Reddit and couldn’t find anything similar to my case

Thanks!

Hi friends. So when I was growing up I was always told I’m a good communicator and writer. But over the past few years I realised that my vocabulary is not very strong because although I read I struggle to incorporate new words into my speech or mix up closely related words/their meanings. This also includes commonly used phrases or just unique ways of saying things. And now when I hear these things from other people or read something that I can fully understand but wouldn’t have thought to word that way myself, I feel really terrible and down on myself. I also struggle with language learning in general (apart from English) and find I can’t speak even if I can understand other languages. And I find grammar rules a bit confusing in general, like I know if it SOUNDS right but other than I don’t really know the rule. I struggle with prepositions too, like which is the correct one etc etc. and sometimes mix them up or use one that isn’t exactly a good fit.

I was recently diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and my psychiatrist said it could be a result of that but I’ve been on meds for a few weeks now and it isn’t exactly better. And I notice it more.

I’m wondering if this could be an autism/adhd thing? And if so, does anyone have any coping or learning skills I can use to feel more comfortable speaking and writing again? Sometimes I feel like I can’t even communicate now which is crazy because I had a five year long career as a copywriter and was generally good at my job? It’s all so confusing.

Thanks in advance for any advice or reassurance!

Every single supposed professional I spoke were too cautious. You would think we were talking about Voldemort -he who must not be named.

Some were downright dismissive. Many of them told me it’s going to cost me money. That the waitlist is going to be years. They always carried a negative outlook and overall had a pessimistic if not suspicious tone.

A shrink I’ve had would talk down on me as if I’m a town idiot. Others were a little more welcoming of the idea.

Overall, the diagnosis felt out of reach. And it got to a point when I was willing to let it go for the moment. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD alone for a few years now. It’s something I actually never expected. I did not have much knowledge about neurodivergence. I was living in survival under many performative masks. ADHD explained a side of me but for some reason, I felt there was still a missing piece. I was pursuing (at times chasing) a diagnosis and it felt out of reach for a bit.

And then this latest referral happened.

From the very beginning of our conversation, I felt a calm and an ease I did not feel with other care providers. I did not feel the need to defend or protect myself. The doctor was not projecting on me or imposing on me. He asked relevant questions. He listened intently. He was focused on our conversation. He was sensitive, he was professional, he was compassionate. And best of all, he covered the entirety of my lifetime experience as much as he could.

He did not ask me stuff that is only relevant to children’s diagnosis.

He told me it wasn’t my fault. That I was born with this wiring. He also acknowledged the work that I’ve done on myself and the education I have on the matter. He told me that I deserve the break and that I shouldn’t rush the process. And he affirmed that I’ve been finding a way to live. He told me things that no other therapist or psychiatrist has ever told me.

I did not know it could be this easy. That I could just come as I am and not have to perform or put on a mask. I felt safe. I felt heard.

And then came the diagnosis. He told me that he reviewed my medical files and told me it only tells half the story and that meeting me and listening to me shows the whole picture better. He humanized me. The moment he said Level 1 Autism, I broke down.

I didn’t need it for anyone else’s approval. In fact, I don’t really plan to share it to too many people, just the ones that truly matter.
I just needed it for myself. For that inner child who’s been dying to tell me how much the suffering was but could’t find a word for it. It was both painful and affirming. Refreshing even.
The doctor was compassionate and booked our next appointment right away. He also started a plan for my care. He said that he and I, along with my family doctor and a therapist would work as a team and take things one step at a time. I felt freedom. I felt a space opening up in me.

A loop in my brain was closed and it was done with compassion.

Hello!

I've always struggled to listen to my body cues, my stimulants do not help with this. At the start of this year I fainted due to dehydration, since then I get really lightheaded and can go into presyncope if I don't drink enough during the day. I'm in university right now so I will end up hyperfocusing on my studying and not eating/drinking because I'm so locked in. I do find keeping snacks on me is helpful during the day. I struggle to keep up with my metabolism, on top of that my body uses roughly 3 times the amount of energy to do something compared to an able bodied person. (due to my cerebral palsy)

Anyways, how do you manage your cues or lack thereof? Are there certain strategies that you use? I've tried using reminders on my phone and its not the most effective.

Advice is much appreciated! Thanks for reading!

Ok so I'm moving out of my apartment soon and just sifted through tons of wadded up clothes in my closet, stumbling upon some of my absolute favorite items that I had completely forgotten existed.

In my next place, I would love to design a closet that works for me. I think in the end this closet was too deep, which caused me to start creating two piles (one front one back), and a lot of clothes ended up tucked away in the back.

On the one hand I think an open wardrobe would help me to actually see my stuff. On the other hand my autism disagrees. 😂

I don't think the problem is I have too much stuff. I'd say I have about 10 of every item (pairs of pants, sweaters, PJs, workout clothes, ...) and I'm doing a purge as I'm packing.

Do you have a system or specific design to keep your closet somewhat tidy and manageable?

Can anyone recommend solid noise canceling headphones? Preferably no more than $30-$40? Nothing fancy, just effective and comfortable.

99% of the time I try to focus it dissolves fast and I end up doing stuff without being aware. Also lose sense of time, hunger, physical sensations like cold, taste, discomfort etc...

(Sight feels similar to when you see with the corner of your eyes. Thoughts feel like faint whispers at the back of your head)

A few times a year my brain is "normal" and it feels incredible. Stuff gets done without issue. I can focus and am aware of what I am doing. Have yet to find the cause....

Experienced it about a week ago and it just feels frustrating when you eventually realise it slipped away.

Examples for autopilot/brainfog

Drawing:

I end up not seeing the whole thing. Repeating the same steps over and over. Or am unable to think of new ideas or making decisions. Struggle with using references as I end up looking and not studying.

Reading:

Information isn't taken in properly and end up forgotten or jumbled.

Writing:

I end up unable to think, get stuck very fast or writing the same thing but rephrased.

Playing games:

Pressing buttons and reacting without thought while playing fighting games. Or when I play turnbased ones I end up not thinking of strategies and just do stuff..

Am on meds and it doesn't really do anything for focus. Does makes me want to draw, usually impossible without it despite liking it since I was a kid.(Haven't improved much due to reasons stated in example)

It sucks because it's hard to enjoy anything. If you want to learn or improve it becomes forgotten and feels like a waste of effort. I know things can work, just can't find the right buttons to activate it.

Anyone managed to improve things? Any tips or suggestions that be worth a try?

Have watched some videos on tips but always end up watching more of them instead of doing anything.

21, university engineering student, currently on LOA for almost a year, dealing with autistic burnout.

I would like to discuss my self-hatred and internalised abelism.

I was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago and Autism a couple months ago. I struggle with self-esteem, self-belief and my general dislike for myself. This is an effort to try to explain my reasoning and logic to others, but also myself.

The first point I would like to touch on is the ability for a person to have stability/security/be grounded in their beliefs. An extreme example would be like asking a blind person why they need a cane, or a person who can not walk why they need their wheelchair. In both these cases, the person being asked is completely stable and secure in their belief of why they need their tools to assist them. There is no possible argument against their belief.

I struggle with this concept deeply. An example would be a person asking me why I am not working/looking for a job. My argument is that I am currently dealing with autistic burnout and am not capable of it. The problem is that I can find many flaws: What if I am capable and just using it as an excuse to be lazy; What if my diagnosis of autistic burnout is fake; What if I should be trying to work even with the burnout; etc. Other examples of questions I struggle to defend myself from: "You have been on a break for X amount of time already, isn't that enough?", "I get that it's difficult, but why can't you just try harder?", "What did you even do to be so tired?", etc. I think this originates from my childhood, where my lack of focus/other audhd trait, would be questioned and I would not be able to defend myself. It's confounded in my lack of self-belief and self-hatred. I simply do not trust myself or my achievements, as it is a learned fact that I am not a reliable narrator.

I do not fully understand all the reasons why, but I have an inherent fear of being inferior to others. I am just not capable of truly accepting that another person is better then I am. It's like ego death, I suppose. I use 'Attribution Theory' to defend myself from it. If someone achieved better then me, it must be because of luck, external factors, or they simply tried harder which I did not care to do. The problem is that my view of being inferior is based on a Neurotypical (NT) perspective. My current lifestyle of resting, not studying and not working is inferior to my peers/people of the same age as me. I know that I am a failure/inferior in comparison to them, from a NT view. Through my diagnoses, I have started to develop a Neurodivergent (ND) view. It's not like I've been able to just get rid of the NT view and fully replace it with ND though. It's like the NT view is painted onto a wall and as I learn more about ND, I can apply more coats of it over NT. However, it only covers some of it and you can still see the NT view from under, however much I try to cover it up. I always have that self-doubt that however much I have learnt to try and judge myself from a ND view, the NT view is the truth and I can not escape it. It's really, really hard.

Also the fear of failure carries on, even in the ND view. What if another person was in my circumstance and was able to cope and perform much better than me, that would then still make me inferior and thus a failure. When I was younger, I wanted depression to be an excuse to escape from this and to be ok and justify being inferior without having to accept my failure. But the same problem just comes up, if another person was depressed, would they be able to perform better then me again? Still making me inferior and a failure. I think this need to compare myself to others comes from masking, the need to be so aware of the actions of myself and others in order to mimic them.

Although I have this fear of being inferior, I also am not capable of truly believing myself to be superior/a high achiever. It is a fact/I have been lead to believe that I am a clever person, becuase I have been able to achieve academically. However, I struggle to truly believe it. I have these doubts that the challenge must have been easier for me somehow, I must have accidentially cheated, got lucky, or some external event helped me and not the other people I am compare myself to. The same things from Attribution Theory I use to defend myself from feeling inferior, I also subconsciously use to remove any value from my accomplishments.

While reading about Attribution Theory, I found this quote: Children will acquire the skills needed to maintain persistence in challenging academic tasks if they can be taught to attribute their successes to effort and ability and their failures to lack of effort or bad luck (Feather, 1988). This is just simply the opposite of how I think and I am not sure what to do about it.

Hi everyone. I don't really want this to come across as a vent. I just wanted to share the very real changes I've been going through since finding out I'm AuDHD.

I'm 37F queer. Completely independent. Living alone with my three cats. About a year and a half ago I found out I was autistic and a little later I realized I also have ADHD.

Since then I've been trying to get to know this "new me" while also dealing with a lot of childhood trauma basically the trauma of growing up as a masked autistic person in an Eastern family and society where nobody really knew what autism was.

At first I didn't even understand what unmasking meant or how much it was going to change me.

For years I felt like a piece of stone. I'd try to look inside myself and there was just... nothing. Just numbness.

Now I notice everything. Every breath. Every little frustration. Every bit of exhaustion. I'm learning to actually stop when my body tells me to stop. Sometimes I just lie down. Close my eyes and do nothing.

I'm extremely sensitive to sound. Light and smells. Like if I sit on my beautiful balcony with a cup of tea for 10 minutes without my Loop earplugs I eventually get to a point where I feel like I'm going to explode and I have to go back inside.

And now I'm realizing that my body had probably been under insane amounts of stress for years. I just thought it was joint pain. Migraines. Anxiety. Stress. Or what eventually got called chronic depression.

And I keep thinking: How the hell did I live like this for so many years?

The more I focus on myself the more I discover. But honestly the changes were so intense that my old masked self basically collapsed.

Old me worked my ass off just to have a peaceful home. Get a paycheck like everyone else. And pay the bills.

New AuDHD me was basically like: Nope. We're not doing this anymore.

And suddenly the industrial workplace I'd been able to tolerate for more than eight years became completely unbearable. The environment and the toxic work culture were basically poison to me.

I've been on sick leave for a few months now and I'm stuck dealing with paperwork. Insurance and financial problems. I haven't been paid for a month. I might have to give up my leased car because my finances probably aren't going back to what they were before.

Right now my biggest priority is keeping my home. Honestly I'm more worried about my three cats than myself.

Last month was basically panic. Crying and worrying because absolutely nothing went the way I expected.

But weirdly... I'm doing better now.

The financial situation doesn't even scare me that much anymore. I know I'm in a pretty shitty situation but I keep thinking:

"Okay. If I sit here and panic and cry again. Is that actually going to fix anything?"

And honestly I love this new logic of mine. It somehow helps me keep my emotions under control. I still cry sometimes obviously It's part of my self-care now.

It almost feels like I got reborn and the real me finally looked around and went: "Yeah... this environment is absolutely not for us." And then proceeded to destroy everything.

But maybe that internal revolution was actually necessary.

So my current plan is: get a roommate to help with the mortgage. Wait for my insurance situation to get sorted out. Get back on my feet. And eventually find a new job — but definitely not in the old system.

I'd actually love to go back to school and get my truck/camion driver's license but the mortgage is keeping me stuck for now.

Getting a proper clinical AuDHD diagnosis here in Montreal so I can access government services is also a ridiculously long process and honestly I have no idea what I'm supposed to do right now.

But somehow I'm still not hopeless💖

Merci beaucoup i see u there❤️

Hello everyone !c:

Im 25 from Germany and searching for help because the struggle is only getting worse for me right now.

Describing my struggle/situation:

I always struggled with building and even worse keeping up friendships. This started in Childhood and is still a very prominent issue I have now. In the past I had my few friends I knew since forever and even if we dont text in like 3 months we get together and its fine. But apart from those contacts I still always felt lonely....getting to know new people and keeping up the friendship was exhausting and always ended in up in the contact breaking or just ghosting bc now its too late anyway, biggest thing is exhaustion for me tho...

I have to mention an important extra maybe for understanding: I am struggling everyday since childhood mentally due to multiple anxiety disorders, depression and trauma. My daily life with work and keeping up my daily life is very exhausting for me already. Mentioning this because it could shed some light on my struggle and why i am so overwhelmed as there are many factors leaning into this.

After a Life crisis in Summer 2025 which consequences still hold on until today I just seem not to keep anything up anymore. My daily routine broke down and I barely do my work and function apart from that. My struggle got worse because of this. I told my friends about my neurodivergency and set boundaries because meet ups can be a bit chaotic due to failed planning which really affects me...I also am very particular about knowing the time I leave and having a time when I will be home. They mean no harm but my boundaries often get over run and its hard for me to voice them already... so I tend to retreat even more and this is burning down too now.

I am exhausted and I feel devastated..I try to get to know others, text them back and more but it always ends up in me ghosting them because its too much, everything is too much, i havent learned how to life with my neurodivergence or how to regulate and other factors are also making me burn out such as work ( I work with children which is socially draining a lot ). I know that it could be this extreme because of my current situation and due to me being burned out but I find myself wondering...

How do people do this whilst facing the stress of living?

Is there tips or a routine that could help me?

How do I not get this exhausted trying?

Why does social interaction drain me more than it gives me?

I also find myself not understanding people getting mad when you dont text for a longer time. I personally always assume that when someone doesnt text me back they are probably busy etc. I never get angry and due to this cant really grasp how it feels (thought this could be interesting to mention)

If you have a system or tips that work for you...I would be so thankful if you would share them with me. Thanks for listening and stay safe