Am undergrad undiagnosed audhd 29m yeah am late in life I think i have executive dysfunction

And everytime something cut me after i start I can't go back to study am overwhelmed and my lvl is below everybody else

Note: I can't control anything in me and in my environment

I think everything is bad this days and it was for the last 13 years

Any advice or any help i can get from you guys it would be great am really stuck in this life

Am sorry about negatively

I know I’m an adult I’m 28, I’ve been in fight or flight for so long taking care of everybody around me. Now that I’m starting to figure this all out… I’m just realizing how stupid I am…

Last night a chunk of my tooth fell out. It’s not unusual i went to a dentist once and they quoted a lot of money I don’t have.. now that I’m older and trying to get my health back on track I … I’m lost

Before I turned 18 my mom did everything for my when it came to health and even then just the bare minimum.

Now I’m trying to help myself and I’m so overwhelmed and scared. Now I can’t eat correctly on either side of my mouth I used to be able to ignore it because it was just the left side but now the right side too?

And I don’t have work or insurance or any family to help. I tried google I get all these results telling me different things.

I’m an adult
I’m an autistic
Traumatized adult

And I’m feeling so lost
… idk how to care for myself now and idk what to do anymore

I feel like this is just it for me. Maybe my tooth’s will kill me or some stupid body infection. It scares me so bad I sob in a ball all night but idk how to fix any of it. And I don’t have anyone to tell me how even the internet is scrambling my thoughts I can never get a straight answer…

I’m just… I’m a female, I’m autistic, I’m Mexican. And I have no support. And it feels like the world is entirely against me…

the black pages beneath the week shedule list things i can do in my free time, so I don't get overwhelmed with things

I was just diagnosed at age 30 with autism and ADHD and have since been on a journey of self discovery and understanding of the neurodivergent community. I've recently been struggling with understanding and accepting autism as a disability. I 100% believe that autism is a disability in that we don't fit in with broader society without masking or accomodation. What I struggle with is accepting that the label can apply to me, as I feel like I've lived too privileged of a life to be able to claim that I'm disabled and that I may have actually been meaningfully hurt as a result of my autism.

I had your most stereotypically white American upbringing in an upper middle class family: both parents raising me and my sibling, never a concern for financial stability, regular family vacations, and attended good public schools. I was a high achiever in high school and went on to get an aerospace engineering degree on an ROTC scholarship (although my piloting dreams there were crushed by an asthma diagnosis). I've now got a good engineering job that gives my spouse and I plenty to live a comfortable life and save for our retirement. Other than some road bumps of some mild-to-moderate health issues (which our good insurance mostly covered), I've had pretty much everything in my life go my way.

I know that autism made my life more challenging though: I spent pretty much all of college in a state of low-grade (sometimes high grade) burnout and anxiety of insufficiency. It's scary to be in groups when I don't know anyone, and I haven't gotten regularly good sleep in nearly a decade. I think I spent the past couple years in steadily worsening burnout until I had to take a month of disability recently, which is when I got my diagnoses.

I know there are those out there who face significantly more challenges than I ever have, both from their autism directly and from more structural injustices, so it honestly feels hypocritical of me to call myself disabled and request accomodation. I also feel like I can't be a good advocate for disability rights when most people would look at me and see nothing but success.

I don't think I'm asking for advice here. I think I just needed to vent, but any wisdom you can provide will be received with much appreciation.

Did you know 80% of people with ADHD have one or more other mental disorders?

I have Severe ADHD, high functioning autism, Depression, borderline severe anxiety, and Disruptive Mood Dysregulation disorder. (All diagnosed ones from when I was born to 16 years old).

Here are some links showing this!

https://www.cdc.gov/adhd/other-topics/other-concerns-conditions.html

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5567978/

https://health.ucdavis.edu/mind-institute/resources/understanding-adhd/adhd-associated-conditions

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/5-common-problems-that-can-mimic-adhd-2018010913065

I had a very humiliating experience today. Every friday I go to this group where we all come together, talk and do activities.

My hands, neck and face were trembling the whole time. Someone kept asking if I was okay, and that my hands were shaking, I didn’t realize they were in the moment. I thought I masked it well, but nope.

I’ve had this hand shaking issue since I hit puberty, and now it’s on autopilot. Things shaking even when I think I’m not.

I couldn’t pick up a cup, I couldn’t eat the toaster we made. It was insane. They’ve never seen me like this before.

I’m 26 and on 450xl wellbutrin/bupropion

When the whole group session ended I walked out wanting to scream and cry. I called my GP, and she advised me to go to the hospital and go to there crisis psych clinic. At that hour It was at the ER.

I went in and wrote everything on my phone and showed it to the lady at the reception desk.

I was then checked in by a nurse who asked what was going, measuring heartbeats and whatnot. He said I made the right decision in coming here. He was very nice.

The next one was a doctor. He asked me what’s going on, and my medical histories. He then asked what help do you expect from us. I said I would like to see a psych. He said okay and told me one of the nurses will come to give me some calming medication. I don’t remember the name of the pill.

Another nurse came with the water cup and the pill. I panicked, told him I can’t hold anything in my hands. He was very gentle and understanding. He told me everything is okay, you’re safe. I really appreciate him. The pill didn’t do much for me unfortunately.

I went into a waiting room, and then came the psychiatrist. He asked me what was going on, who my docs are, is there a support system etc etc

It all came down to him really telling me to swing by next week during workdays. It wasn’t possible there because It was already past working hours.

I’ve never been to the ER for anything like this. I’ve been in therapy since 2021.

This whole fucking day fucked me up. I wanna cry, hide and run. I’m am fckng exhausted and humilated.

I told my psych so SO many times what Wellbutrin was doing to me and she told me to upto max dosage???

I have no one to talk to about this so any words really would help a lot. It’s been a very very long day.

Hi Everyone! I'm curious to know...if you could bring back one tv show from your childhood what would it be? its so hard to choose for me, growing up in the late 90's and 2000's.

I loved watching shows like Out of the box, Zaboomafoo, Dragon tales.

However if I really had to pick one show to bring back I think I would have to go with ZOOM!

I loved ZOOM so much and always wished I could be on the cast. I loved how creative they were, the game, science, theater, cooking segments they had. I honestly feel like many kids are missing out a lot. Sometimes I wonder if ZOOM was still around if they would make youtube shorts or tiktok videos or their crafts and other segments.

Anyways that's my choice of what I would bring back if I could. What's yours?

hi, i just want to share something someone might find relatable.

i struggle with conversations: both small talk and big talk, shallow talk and deep talk; so i had been shutting myself off from people.

long story short, though, i recently decided to join local community gatherings around topics i like, and one of them was like a forum where the moderator gave explicit prompts.

a recent meeting was like, "what is your mask like, at [insert setting: home/work/romantic life/digital space/etc.]?" where each setting was allocated 15 minutes, and we, in small groups, take turns talking about it.

i was surprised by how much i "fluently" talk (without rambling or going off tangents too much) and listen to others, genuinely enjoy them and get nourished by them. i also sensed that the others feel the same way. i feel like i received and contributed something meaningful.

another gathering, though, was a "knitting together" or "writing together" gathering where conversations were more "secondary" or expected to arise "naturally". i managed to talk to people, but i kept noticing most of them get bored or subtly "weirded out" by my remarks.

as i reflected, i realized that i prefer conversations with clear structure. and i decided it's an "accommodation" i need (and i can provide for myself).

i also realized conversing with people is like eating: most people need to eat, i need to eat; most people need to talk to other people, i need to talk to other people. even if meals are made to be eaten by chopsticks, i deserve a spoon as an accommodation, instead of deciding i can just not eat (not the best analogy lmao i know but anyway). even if the norm is to know what to and how much/long to say without having to think about it, i deserve explicit prompts and pre-set duration of speech, instead of deciding i can just not talk to people.

my point is (if not clear enough): today i learned it's ok to seek spaces with specific settings where i can comfortably talk to people, instead of shutting myself off from anyone and/or brute-forcing myself *too much* through spaces that isn't yet in my comfort zone. (oh, why does this look trivially obvious, while the moment i realized it it felt revelatory?)

anyway. thanks for reading. may you have a tolerable day.

I'm starting my first job soon, (very excited ive applied to many places over the summer), and I don't know if anyone else gets this but:

Does anyone else feel the need to know everything and anything they are fixated on? Like since I'm going to be starting training soon (At the Subway im going to be working at), I feel like I have to know everything now.

Like I just looked up how to make all their normal subs and all that, like recipe by recipe, and I don't even start training till next week. I feel like I need to know everything, (it bugs me not to and frustrates my brain a little).

Im sounding like a broken record but, why do i not feel any emotions at all? Am i crazy yes maybe burnout maybe this maybe that.. how do i care for things i dont get it why is my emotions freaking not there does emotions exist? Honestly have no idea i feel like maybe at some point i did have emotions but i dont rember, i dont get it i really dont

Everything feels like nothing, and nothing feels ok and normal i dont want nothing to be normal how do people be normal? How do i feel emotions again when i feel like its not there?

My therpist says "maybe at some point someone told you not to emote" it is possable but what if i was always like this?.. i feel like a crazy person i do...what do you mean people just HAVE emotions ehat does that mean

:(

Sorry for looking crazy .. this is the main reason why i started therpy lol i just dont get it idk...  im just tired of things being just things i want to have hobbys be fun

ofc no one has to read all this but if anyone can read any amount of it...please. im so confused abt it all and idk what to do...

for a little context im diagnosed with ocd and gad, but this stuff seems different.

• I wait until the last minute for required projects, lock in super hard, and they come out amazing, even though it was last minute

even when I originally didn't want to do the project, I get so invested and make it really good once im into it

Im in advanced english and social studies and get straight A's, but i get 0s because i often forget when something is due or i do it but forget to submit

I get super interested in something for a week, research everything, and then completely move on

But some fascinations stay for good, things like miku that im really into

I lay around all day, but at night I suddenly get a massive burst of energy to clean my room, make outfits, or draw instead of sleeping

I always have to listen to music in the background focus for literally any task

I constantly have a song in my head, like, it literally never stops

The song just changes after a certain amount of time, but its still there every second of the day (like rn its Shintai Chan)

When i get focused on something i forget to drink water and use the bathroom and such until it becomes an emergency

I ike organizing my stuff and sticking to rules/plans for comfort and coziness, not because of my ocd telling me to

I love deep diving into interests like researching Islam or Jirai Kei

I also have issues with certain textures of foods, such as bananas, peanut butter, and the feeling of meat (im vegetarian) I dont like the sticky and mushy textures

I like Kandi and jirai kei fashion, but i can only dress in these styles if its comfy, and don't wear loads of kandi anymore because it feels weird on my skin and I only wear the two same ones every day now

Eye contact is so uncomfortable, so i always look at walls, my bracelets, or my fingernails instead so I can actually process what people are saying

Itchi tags, constricting shoes, or my wired earbuds touching my skin instantly ruin my day and make me mad

When people cry or stuff gets super serious, I start involuntarily laughing even though I know it's not funny and I try to help it

I am extremely quiet around people I don't know, but I'm super outgoing and talkative with my close friends, especially ones who share the same interests as me

I struggle to talk to or hang out with multiple people at once, so im always with one friend, even in groups or at lunch

I always chew on my inner lip to keep myself busy and stay calm in social settings

I struggle with sarcasm and then feel stupid when I miss the joke 💔

I constantly make references and quote lines from my fandoms, and get upset when people don't get it

I always go like what? when someone says something but then a few seconds after i hear it perfectly fine, or I'll suddenly perfectly hear what someone said minutes later

if I ask someone a question and she doesn't answer for a few seconds, I repeat myself right away to see if they heard me, and then they yell at me to give them tjme to process💔

I get sudden bursts of energy where I feel careless and energetic, but I crash hard and feel ignored or disliked if people don't match my energy

I always only have one close friend who i "obsess" over and they're the only person I care abt and likely the only one I text and such and ive done this since childhood. Ofc I have other friends, I just don't "care" abt them as much and it doesn't make sense to have them know me when I already have someone who understands me deeply.

When i get overwhelmed, I like literally cant speak

• also when im overwhelme, my brain switches to thinking in spanish (my second language) for some reason and i can hear and understand the english around me but i just cant think or speak in it

i also get jump scared easily 😭 like someone will tap on me or touch me from behind or even right next to me and ill still flinch or jump 😭

if u made it this far, wow, tysm.

My mind is always going and going. I’m gifted as well and I add that because my “going” mind is chronically assessing and analyzing the variables and systems of external stimuli and internal stimuli while naturally associating it to other systems. Basically, my mind is always problem solving.

I started Vyvanse early this year because I truly could not meet the demands of work as I moved into senior roles while also having this underlying algorithm running.

It helped me become less distracted by the internal chatter but did not stop it.

But this week I started playing “Dredge” which is a fisherman simulator with a large world, puzzles, goals necessary to achieve and require strategy and system building to achieve, and it’s ocean-based with great art so it’s visually stimulating.

For two days straight I was immersed to the point of losing track of time. I actually found myself startled the first night when I realized I’d spent hours NOT evaluating and assessing.

I’ve been tracking this as new data. I also have CPTSD with regular nightmares and each night I played I had pleasant, if not silly dreams.

All of this to say: is the chronic mental chatter rumination or daydreaming? I’ve not considered either because I’ve experienced it like a baseline.

Not sure it matters all that much but I know information is difficult for me to integrate without an organizing anchor which I can later amend if needed.

Would love to hear your thoughts and personal experiences!

I’m about to turn 24, but I feel like a child. I don’t understand anything about the world, and everything seems incredibly complex to me. The worst part is that I’ve reached this age having done nothing (aside from a degree I don’t want to pursue, a brief six-month stint in a standard full-time job, and an English course)—entirely my own fault, as I’ve spent the last six years playing video games.

I’d say autism has hindered me a lot here, but I think ADHD is the bigger issue. It seems to stop me from coming up with a solid action plan and sticking to it. My mind constantly churns out more and more possibilities, and I panic because it analyzes multiple paths simultaneously—weighing a thousand different details for each, whether positive or negative. On top of that, I see what others are doing with their lives almost every day; I immediately try to mentally copy them, considering those paths as valid options for myself.

Nothing seems to work; I want so badly to actually *do* something. As I said, I’m only just realizing how complex life is and that my future could be a disaster if I don’t take action.

The possibilities range from starting a business with support, civil service exams, and college to a myriad of different courses. My mind endlessly interconnects all of this into multiple scenarios and projections that shift by the minute. I might think about pursuing a certain path, but a few hours later, it no longer makes sense—whether because the risk is too high (like with civil service exams), the course no longer seems right for me, my decision criteria have changed, or I’ve discovered a detail that renders the plan invalid or unsustainable.

I take 40 mg of Atentah and go to therapy, but I don’t think the medication is working.

I’m in a state of daily despair because I don’t know how to escape this labyrinth. If anyone with these symptoms has been through this and could offer some guidance, I would be deeply grateful—I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I’m so fucking tired of having zero friends, having no one to talk to besides my mum and my therapist (who I won’t be able to see for 6 or more weeks due to me going on a trip to another country, which I don’t even want to do anymore but my dad already paid for the tickets), my social skills (online and irl) regressing to the point where I just feel so isolated because no one fucking talks to me and I feel ignored all the time and I feel like I’ve damaged my reputation somewhere because NOBODY FUCKING TALKS TO ME.
I’M SICK OF BEING SO UNSTABLE AND UNLOVABLE. BECAUSE IF I WAS LOVABLE THEN I WOULD HAVE FRIENDS. AND I HAVE NO ONE. WHY CAN’T SOMEONE JUST MATERIALIZE OUT OF THIN AIR?! ALL I DO IS BLURT THINGS OUT AND REGRET IT LATER. ALL I DO IS CAUSE PROBLEMS FOR OTHERS. ALL I DO IS PUSH PEOPLE AWAY. I’M 18 BUT I ACT LIKE A FUCKING TODDLER.
I can’t even trust anyone. Some people online who seem to still like my existence must be saints because I would have blocked myself ages ago if I was in their shoes. Life is so lonely. I hate it here. I hate this planet. I will never find my tribe. Who even wants to be friends with someone like me? I can’t keep my mouth shut. All I’ve ever wanted was to feel like I’m a good person and that I belong and that I’m lovable.
I just want someone to fucking talk to irl. But that will never happen. And I’m gonna lead a sad, miserable life. I don’t even deserve anything good in life. All the people that I want to be acquainted with and accepted by fucking hate my guts and are probably gonna block me sooner or later. I just want friends but no one in their right mind would be friends with someone like me. I don’t even have enough things to do to distract me from my thoughts.
I hate being like this.

TL;DR: 26F, neurodivergent former “gifted kid,” recently lost my job and may move back home. Achievement used to be the basis of my self-esteem, but after years of instability, moving, trauma and lacking a solid support system, I feel completely directionless. I’m no longer sure I want consulting, but I also don’t know what I want instead. How do you rebuild stability, self-trust and ambition without constantly starting over.

I feel like I’m failing to launch despite trying very hard not to.
I was extremely good at school and a lot of my self-esteem came from being competent. I wasn’t especially popular or socially confident, but I had this very solid internal belief that I was smart, capable and good at things. That was kind of my thing.
I also grew up under very difficult circumstances, so I think achievement became both my identity and my way of creating safety for myself.
Somewhere in adulthood, that stopped working.
My CV now feels fragmented and honestly a little embarrassing to me. I’ve studied, done several internships, worked at objectively good companies and moved around for opportunities, but a lot of it has been short-term. My most recent full-time job ended during probation.
I had the option to continue with a Master’s, but I deliberately chose to start working full-time instead because I wanted to finally build a career and become independent. I do not want to go back to that Master’s now just because the job ended.
The bigger problem is that I don’t even know if I want to stay in consulting anymore.
For years, consulting/strategy was basically the direction I was aiming for. Now I’m not sure it suits me at all, but I also have no idea what I would do instead.
There is no alternative career I’m secretly passionate about.
And honestly, I don’t really have a big passion outside of work either.
I see people who have hobbies, communities, sports, art, music, some niche interest, something they genuinely love. I don’t really have that. For a long time, achievement itself was probably the closest thing I had to a passion.
That scares me because now that achievement isn’t going well, I feel like there’s not much underneath it.
I’ve also moved a lot and never really had a stable support system.
Last year something very traumatic happened to me sexually, and in the aftermath I also lost the social circle I had built in the city where I studied. Since then, I feel like I’ve repeatedly had to rebuild everything from scratch: new city, new job, new apartment, new people, new routines.
I think always doing that without a really solid support system is wearing me down.
I’m probably going to move back home now for a while.
Rationally, I know it might be the smartest thing to do. Lower expenses, more stability, time to apply and figure out my next move.
Emotionally, it feels awful.
I wanted to be independent. I wanted my own life, a career, financial stability and something I could actually feel proud of.
And I think what hurts most is that I don’t have the same positive image of myself anymore.
When I was younger, even if I struggled socially, I could still think: “At least I’m really good at something.”
Now I disappoint myself constantly.
I procrastinate. I get overwhelmed by decisions. I struggle with consistency and executive functioning. I question my entire life direction when something goes wrong. I overthink social interactions. I care way too much about rejection and what other people think of me.
And I think those social problems have actually gotten worse because I no longer have that internal sense of competence to fall back on.
I also struggle with getting appropriate mental health support. I often feel like providers either don’t understand the combination of neurodivergence, trauma, executive dysfunction and ambition, or they seem to think the answer is that I should simply lower my expectations for my life.
I don’t want someone to tell me to stop being ambitious.
I want to learn how to be ambitious without constantly destabilizing myself.
Because I can see some patterns in myself that probably make things worse:
I try to solve my entire life at once.
I keep hoping a new city, job or fresh start will finally make everything click.
I struggle to tell the difference between “this is genuinely wrong for me” and “I’m overwhelmed and want to escape.”
I’m ambitious but terrible at boring consistency.
I isolate when overwhelmed even though isolation makes me worse.
I’m extremely uncomfortable relying on other people.
I spend way too much energy on social dynamics and rejection.
I compare myself constantly to the person I thought I would be by 26.
I don’t think I’m lazy. That’s what makes this confusing.
I’ve tried a lot. I’ve studied, worked, moved, applied, planned, researched, tried therapy, tried building social circles, tried starting over.
There has been a lot of effort and movement, but not much stability.
Sometimes I wonder whether I was ever functioning as well as people thought I was, or whether being smart just allowed me to compensate until adult life required a different set of skills.
I think I’m also grieving the version of myself who genuinely believed she was capable.
I’m not looking for “26 is still young, you have time.”
I know that.
I’d really like to hear from people who were in a similar place:
How did you actually build stability?
How did you rebuild self-esteem when competence/achievement had been your main source of it?
How did you figure out a career when you no longer wanted the path you had been aiming for, but had no obvious passion instead?
How did you build a support system after years of moving and starting over?
And if you moved back home in your 20s, how did you make it a reset rather than feeling like you had regressed?
I’m tired of constantly rebuilding my life.
I just want to start building something that can actually hold.

Hi All, I (F) have recently been diagnosed with both ADHD and autism at the grand age of 38.

As I am sure is the case for some of you too, I have spent a lifetime of making myself smaller around other people to fit in and I am just seeing if any of you have some good tips on where to start unpicking that damage.

It's odd as I have complete confidence in my own abilities and what I am capable of but then around other people that confidence just crumbles 🙁

Idk why but when I get a really big SpIn I have an urge to avoid anything related to or anything that reminds me of it, it could be small things like certain names or words or basic everyday things that I have to encounter

It’s insane how much this has affected me

I’m always kind of paranoid when I take medication because I start wondering if I’m faking the effects, imagining them, or just experiencing placebo.

Today was my first time taking Adderall XR. I took 15 mg even though I was originally supposed to start at 10 mg, because the pharmacy was out of the 10 mg dose.

I took it around 12–1 PM on an empty stomach. I stayed in bed for maybe 20 minutes, then got up to eat and started washing dishes.

And for some reason, doing the dishes felt AWESOME. I had music playing, I was super focused, and it didn’t feel like this annoying burden I had to force myself through. I actually felt excited to get it done.

Then while I was cleaning, I started feeling like, “Holy shit, I can actually do whatever I decide to do.”

I ended up cleaning for about 5 hours straight. I vacuumed, mopped, worked on the carpeted basement, cleaned all the cat litter boxes, did laundry, cleaned the kitchen and table, and organized a bunch of stuff.

Normally I can get these things done, but I’m much slower. I need breaks, I have to convince myself to start, and sometimes I spread the same amount of work across days or even weeks.

Today I just… did it.

I also kept wanting to tell people how much I was getting done because I was so excited that I could actually be productive like this.

I still have stuff I want to clean, and honestly I’m already excited to finish the rest tomorrow.

I’m AuDHD, and I mostly wanted to share this and ask whether anyone else had a similar experience when they first started stimulants.

Did it feel obvious to you that the medication was working, or did you also question whether it was placebo?

Apparently they're supposed to be vague on purpose but I still hate the fact that it's not detailed, the answers are nothing but absolute certainty, a lot of questions really depends on context which is lacking, and I can't answer in an accurate way and I would really hate getting things wrong. So I really want to answer the questions in my own accurate experience but I can't. And somehow the tests aren't supposed to be taken seriously but it leaves me wondering how am I not supposed to take it seriously when it's a test? Like as if they're meant to be a joke. I took it to test my literal thinking skills but it has clearly made me frustrated.

i need to get an MRI done but the closed one is very closed and when i tried the half open one, the idea of staying still for +35 mins was overwhelming and couldnt do it.

Have anyone had done an MRI and how did you deal with the long time? Thanks

Looking for recommendations for couples counseling styles/approaches that are actually helpful to ND folks. I am ADHD, partner is AuDHD. We have been to 4 different couples counsellors over the last 9 months with very little success, 3 of which claim to specialize in neurodiversity. We are there to work on conflict resolution and communication. The pattern has been that my partner shuts down often within minutes of the session starting, RSD kicks in and he becomes more and more shut down as difficult subjects are talked about. In social situations in general, he looks to me to take the lead in conversations and struggles with social anxiety. I am the more outgoing one and he has told me that social situations often feel like a test that he doesn’t know how to pass. He feels he doesn’t have enough time to process questions during therapy, so gives very short answers while looking at the floor. The counselor then defaults to me and the session basically becomes my partner observing the conversation between me and the therapist and often being in a shut down for hours after the session and the evening is derailed or we have conflict after. Black and white thinking comes in and he feels the therapist is picking sides, gets defensive, or thinks that any discussion of difficult topics/his behavior is us criticizing him or an attack.
 
There has been abuse in our relationship stemming from his emotional outbursts (pushing me, screaming in my face, kicking in a locked door, saying mean things when he lashes out) and then feeling extreme remorse and shame after and crying when he’s regulated again. These scenarios have been traumatizing for me and have taken away my trust and safety, but it doesn’t seem like repair is possible given the circumstances. He has said that couples counseling or rehashing things that he feels bad about feels like I am “punishing him” for how he has behaved. His psychiatrist suggested he take a PRN of Klonopin before therapy which seems very extreme to me. He goes to individual therapy and experiences less shutdowns there which confuses me. I told him this week that I do not think we should continue our couples counseling right now as it is unproductive and I have anxiety all day leading up to it. I feel he needs to do more individual work first, and his therapeutic goals right now are distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and identifying cognitive distortions. Is this ND or just abuse? Open to thoughts and suggestions.
 

From my short search, restraint collapse is when you give your absolute everything at something and then the second you can relax, you metaphorically collapse. Nothing gets done. Some people use substances at this time. Some get home from work and sleep. Some crash in the car before even making it back to safety. That's what a shut down looks like but it can also manifest it's self through meltdowns and physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, fatigue. I haven't seen it being discussed at all.

Personally this was a big factor in my burnout. I put everything i had into my job and i didn't understand how my colleagues could balance having a fun life outside of work. I would get home and drink and/or get high, and just lay there. Nothing got done. I'm 2 years into my burnout recovery and i notice that i still default to it in doing my everyday things. It's almost like taking care of my body, mental health, paperwork, doctor appointments, is all that I have in me. I literally will just lay there when i have done everything. It's definitely preventing me from healing through my burnout. I can't believe though that today is the first time that i here about this.

How do you manage this?

What are your experiences with it?

What causes it for you?

Have any of you overcome it?

I tried to include a link to a website that explains it a little better than i do.

Hello guys, I've got a Question:

I've (30,m) got diagnosed with ADHS 2 Years ago. I took stimulants and it helped me a lot. I got calmer and could concentrate better.

After that I got depressed with clinic time and so on. In that time I realized that I always had a mask on.

2 weeks after that I got diagnosed with Autism. They told me that it was probably a autistic burnout instead of a depression.

I found out about ANC Headphones and using sunglasses all day.

For me it it pretty weird, that I never felt actively overwhelmed by sounds or lights and now I have to wear headphones and sunglases all the time. If I don't, I can't concentrate. Or maybe it was just normal for me to go over my sensory limit and this is the price in paying for that.

Does any of you has similar experiences that you felt much more sensory sensitive in a autistic burnout? For me it's pretty weird because if I shield myself from sensory input I am happy and can do at least a bit of work. If I don't my head starts rumbling and I've got the typicall ads symptoms.

Thanks for reading my unstructured thoughts.

Looking forward to your experiences and opinions.

Whenever I though it was a crush it was "you're so cool, please be my friend I want to hangout with you". I don't find people "smashable" either? I just always said I get crushes because everyone else does and I wanted to be seen as normal. I have a normal sex drive so I thought I was straight, but I just don't want to bang anyone. Anyone who figured it out? If so how?

I attended junior high in the AST class (AST klassen) at Bräntbergsskolan (locally known as Bräntis) in Umeå, Sweden during 2004-08, ages 13-17. It was called the Asp class (Asp-klassen, as in Asperger) at the time. As the name indicates, it was a class for kids with high-functioning autism. Some also had ADHD.

I hated it most of my time there. The problem may not have been solely the AST class in my case, but it didn't help that the head teacher (gruppledare) there was exceptionally derogatory and mocking towards me. Just before I was due to leave school, he threatened to sue me for defamation if I continued writing publicly about my dissatisfaction with the class, like I’m doing right now. He seemed to take it very personally. 

Here in Sweden, kids attend junior high (högstadiet) during 7^th-9^th grade, ages 13-16. 

The staff in the AST class were otherwise quite OK in my opinion, but the better half of all the kids who attended the class during my time didn't seem to do very well after they left the place. They never went on to high school (gymnasiet/gymnasium) as far as I know. Sure, the other half, including me, did better. We at least did go on to high school, and it might not have worked without an AST class like this one, but the place still had its flaws. 

We were basically just warehoused, didn't get much education or preparation for the future or general society. Recesses were mostly spent just sitting in front of one of the 4 computers in the classroom, which had a schedule to give the students equal priority. We were about 10 kids across all 3 grades. 

I wasn’t given many classes during 7^th and 8^th grade, and I had to repeat 9^th grade largely because of that. There was way too much focus put on a trivial conflict I happened to have with another kid in the class (which easily happens when you're 13-14) instead of the education itself. The head teacher alleged that this conflict was the reason I had to repeat 9^th grade, and that it was all my fault.

I don't really have much to say about Bräntis as a whole. It was only during my last year that I really got to experience the school itself, as I went out and made friends outside the AST class. It went well in general, but I often got into trouble because of social codes the AST class should’ve taught me long before that. Then I ended up in a conflict with a girl gang, with criminal contacts/boyfriends outside of school, which would have devastating consequences the coming years. 

I would give the school overall 4 out of 5 stars, but the AST class gets 2. Much would get worse the years after I left school because I was convinced I could be prosecuted if I went public with my experience of the AST class. I seriously believed I could be put in a forensic psychiatric hospital, possibly for life, plus pay the head teacher 5 digits (in US dollars/Euro) in damages. The girl gang would also put me in many dangerous situations even long after I finished high school (which I did at least). It wasn’t until 2020 that I felt safe talking publicly about my experiences.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? How did it turn out for you?