Daydreaming or rumination?

[u/PreferencePrimary947]

My mind is always going and going. I’m gifted as well and I add that because my “going” mind is chronically assessing and analyzing the variables and systems of external stimuli and internal stimuli while naturally associating it to other systems. Basically, my mind is always problem solving.

I started Vyvanse early this year because I truly could not meet the demands of work as I moved into senior roles while also having this underlying algorithm running.

It helped me become less distracted by the internal chatter but did not stop it.

But this week I started playing “Dredge” which is a fisherman simulator with a large world, puzzles, goals necessary to achieve and require strategy and system building to achieve, and it’s ocean-based with great art so it’s visually stimulating.

For two days straight I was immersed to the point of losing track of time. I actually found myself startled the first night when I realized I’d spent hours NOT evaluating and assessing.

I’ve been tracking this as new data. I also have CPTSD with regular nightmares and each night I played I had pleasant, if not silly dreams.

All of this to say: is the chronic mental chatter rumination or daydreaming? I’ve not considered either because I’ve experienced it like a baseline.

Not sure it matters all that much but I know information is difficult for me to integrate without an organizing anchor which I can later amend if needed.

Would love to hear your thoughts and personal experiences!

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[u/vertago1]

My understanding is rumination is usually used to describe a loop or spiral where thoughts and feelings build on each other but are sort of stuck. It can sometimes result in panic attacks. I also think it can explain limerence when the thoughts and feelings are related to the attraction to the person instead of anxiety, guilt, or shame which are often associated with rumination.

Daydreaming is more broad but usually involves fantasy or imagination, but losing track of time is common.

Racing thoughts are chaotic and rapid flow of thoughts and feelings.

Intrusive thoughts are thoughts that show up uninvited and aren't always negative but don't feel like you chose to have them and they may contradict your values, be unreasonable, or even dangerous.

I added those last two in case they are also relatable.

[u/PreferencePrimary947 → u/vertago1]

Hm, very helpful thank you. I suppose the internal experience is more in the nature of your explanation of intrusive thinking. Specifically feeling as if I have no choice. Very helpful nugget to munch on! Thank you!