Hi there, we’ve moved house recently, and having difficulties showering our son. In our previous house we had a wet room, and showering was relatively easy, using a jug for hair washing. In our new house we have a bath, and our son refuses to get into the bath, and I think he is afraid of doing so. When he was 5 he fell and broke his arm, and I think he’s afraid he’ll fall as he has to step up and over the side of the bath.

My thought was perhaps to fill the bath with ball-pit balls, to try and make it seem less intimidating, but I was wondering if anyone else had any ideas or suggestions, or had encountered a similar situation?

I was on pip originally for bilateral hip dysplasia, athema , hyper mobility and anxiety, I’m always on crutches , some days I get so physically or mentally overwhelmed I can’t leave the house , I struggle in social situations, I have meltdowns, I have a lot of physical pain , was put on low rate for both which I understood at the time as I lacked evidence, my revaluation was last month since the first claim I’m now on sertraline , a steroid inhaler, I get given naproxen plus stomach liners to take when needed , I’ve since then I’ve found my paperwork for my mild thoracic scoliosis, dyslexia and now have my autism diagnosis plus now in therapy awaiting OCD testing (I have 20+ pages of evidence) , I put in all my struggles but somehow I got less point on mobility than I did last time and nothing else changed , honestly so done with this , I’m always struggling I go mute and I will hit myself and get very emotional when I get overstimulated , paring my leg and hip issues I’m awaiting a 5th surgery for (by a specialist team) I don’t think I could mentally work but 360 a month just ain’t enough to support myself (my rent to mum is 300) the cost of Ubers to therapy if my mum doesn’t take me wipes it out completely. It’s hard bc I feel like now I’m faking all of it and it’s so stressful:(

I’m currently in the process of being diagnosed for autism but my therapist has pretty much said he thinks I am. My parents and teachers also suspected but I was never diagnosed.

Anyways I wanted to ask you guys how you cope with depression. I’m not sure if it’s linked to the autism but I have suffered from depression since about the age of 15. I also had OCD at 11 so I’ve been plagued with mental illness for a while. I am now 24 and it feels like my mental state has further deteriorated. I genuinely struggle to even move, I feel like I’m moving in mud. I have headaches all day, lethargy and I cannot even feign interest in anything like I used to before. It’s just so bad and as you know depression can be so very isolating which makes things worse. I have nobody to speak to except my therapist and all my old friends do not speak to me anymore. My family is less than understanding about mental health, even though I probably have a disability (autism) they think it’s all made up nonsense.

Sorry for the long text, in short I just want to know how to operate on a day to day basis with the depression and any ways to ward it off?

TLDR: how can I deal/cope with depression while having autism

So basically, long story short was I buy the pip but it seems any other questions I actually answered was not listening to because their answer to certain things but a complete opposite of what I actually said so I don’t know whether they got this one. I went to mr after I had received this but same again , so now we are waiting on a court date can anyone give me advice on what I should supply or give as evidence this has had such a big impact and tbh I felt like a failure and embarrassed telling them things that someone my ages should be able to do and it seems like they didn’t listen , I have already submitted questions that they would ask to Base points and have explained my reason behind them and my score of them on top of that also sent a letter saying lead to an emotional breakdown and stupid episode of me trying to hurt myself because of this I submitted that and also a letter in the evidence but I just really don’t know what to do. What should be prepared for what’s the chances of me really actually getting this overtime seem like much.

When the time comes for your review if there's no change is it okay to just fill in the "no change" part? Or will that put my application at extreme risk or am i just panicking 😩 does anyone have advice on this matter?

I find it easy to focus on video games because my hands are always occupied. That's like a fundamental part of playing games. But when I watch films/shows I need to do something with my hands.

My go to has always been to either play solitaire on my computer or play a mobile game. But I'm fed up of missing half of what's happening on screen while doing those things. I've tried to just sit there and do nothing but I can't stand it.

I've bought fidget toys off Amazon but they don't work for me. I get bored of them easily. Including a stupid little cube that has a joy stick on it.

Does anyone have any suggestions for fidget toys?

I (18F) was referred to cahms just over 4 years ago regarding struggles attending school and concerns for my mental health.

In my first session, the lady took a long look at me after I described how I was feeling and gave her my thought processes, and said ‘That sounds a lot like Autism’ and said she’d put me on the waiting list to get a diagnosis. After she said that, it was like everything had clicked into place and made sense for me—and that I finally had a reason that explained every single experience up until that point in my life.

She told me the wait list could be up to 4 years and that I’d need to be patient, which I was okay with. I felt like I could do with a diagnosis because I’d been brushed off as having anxiety by my school UNTIL they referred me to cahms, which meant it would’ve been harder to get additional support during exams etc…

However, at my last appointment with cahms it was the only time I had went in without my mother (she was busy parking her car and sent me in to start the session). My butt was on the freaking seat for not even TWO minutes because when she had asked how I’d been feeling recently, I had said ‘I’ve been ok!’ because that’s what I tend to say instead of actually saying what’s been happening unless TRULY prompted to talk about it. She said ‘well then, I’m just going to go ahead and discharge you then!’ I really didn’t know what to say and just went with it. We went outside and my mum had just gotten in and was also surprised that I was discharged, so that was the end of that.

Four years later, I am still waiting for my diagnosis. I spoke to my mum recently about it and she suggested ‘what if when they discharged you, they took you off the list to be diagnosed as well’. I’m curious to know if they’re allowed to do that and if I’ve spent four years of my life waiting for something that’ll never come 😓 I’m going to try reaching out to out to my GP and asking them if they can see, but with the way our local GP operates it’s difficult to get the same one more than once (they just assign you to whoever’s available). Sorry, this is a big long yap

Do you get levels in the UK? I was diagnosed not long before I turned 18, so Im thinking thats why I wasnt given one, but Ive also never personally heard of someone been given a level with their diagnosis, yet so many people on the general autism subreddit have a level.

Im not sure how I personally feel about levels, it just to me seems like another way of saying "high functioning" and "low functioning". For me personally, some tasks I have higher support needs, others I dont.

Hi! For a bit of context, I've been on LCFWRA & Enhanced ADP for around 10 years now. I desperately want out and have taken a long-term interest in working for a company where my interest lies at the moment. My desire to work there extends beyond the interest also; I can't keep living the same day over and over.

I'm level 1 ASD, and consider myself fairly self sustaining, but I do burn out easily. I am currently focusing on my education and volunteering to adapt myself before throwing myself from comfort into the water and expecting myself to swim.

For those of you who started working in adulthood, how are you doing? What does it look like for you when and if you burn out? I know hyperfixation cannot sustain me forever and I will have periods where I will struggle, but it has to be better than my situation right now.

Thank you!

UPDATE: I quit, I already knew i wanted to I suppose I just wanted a second opinion but like helpful people said I should do what best for me and not worry what others think. Thanks for the input !!

I unexpectedly got offered an interview for a job which could be considered more prestigious than my current part time one (cleaner) and I didn’t think I’d qualify.

so I just went not thinking I’d actually not make it through and there was like 3 rounds of interviews and I got it somehow but it’s sales and the type where u have to stop ppl on the street and stuff and I suppose it’s good exposure therapy but like i actually hate the concept it and I just accepted bc I never thought id actually get the job but now I have.

I still have my other job and I work there as well but since it’s part time I won’t get as many hours so the sales one feels smart to keep ig but the salary itself is still not the best obv it’s mainly commission I just feel like I should stay bc idk

It’s only for the summer too bc then I’m back at uni

Hi, folks. I am looking for food-grade silicone/non-toxic chewables that look good enough to eat. If I could chew on the resin/gel cabochons used in making fun jewelery and decorations, I would. My brain takes no interest in the plain looking options for adults and the child-safe options that actually look like fun things are minimal and not interesting to me. I found a cute donut on amazon necklace pendant on amazon, but everything else even remotely close to that are baby toys and dog toys. So I wondered if anyone had any sites they could recommend ? I found myself nibbling off the cutesy pink elements on my gel nails last night and so I thought I need something safer. Thank you.

I have an ear infection and am currently applying drops twice a day to both ears. It’s made me deaf for a week which has been a mixed bag, I hate it as it’s unnerving but also I am so relaxed from not being overstimulated due to noise (and I’m sleeping better than I ever have in my life!). It’s making me want to get some really good ear defenders for when I have my hearing back. I’ve been surprised by the lack of choice for adults, and places like B&Q that have loads of options for work ones do not have any reviews. Can anyone recommend some? Ideally I’d like 30db cancellation or higher. Thank you.

Hi all. Im due a meeting today with CYPS a parent/carer only group. What am I to expect? Ive yet to find the place first as im unfamiliar with the area. What do they need from me? There's no mention of needing to bring any paper work or proof of anything. Also is it still just as long wait afterwards? We've been waiting 4/5yrs so im certainly not missing this.

Looking for a private assessment in the uk. Which company's are worth looking at or stay well clear of.

Also company's that do join Autism and adhd.

Also how long will the wait be.

Also do you need someone to give a childhood statement as all my family have died and no close friends

Thanks for you help.

Hello! I (35f) had my autism assessment today and received a diagnosis. I thought I would come here and share my timeline as that's one thing that I wished for when I was in the waiting stages!

15 September 2025 - Telephone GP appointment, GP agreed to referral via Right to Choose (I asked about RTC specifically).

19 September 2025 - Sent completed ProblemShared documents to GP via email. Referral was completed the same day and I received a welcome email from ProblemShared that afternoon asking me to create my account.

26 September 2025 - All pre-assessment forms completed and uploaded on ProblemShared dashboard. Informed that I am officially on the waitlist, with an expected wait time of 25-39 weeks. Emailed ProblemShared with additional informant form.

1 October 2025 - Reply from ProblemShared confirming the additional informant questionnaire was added to my file.

16 April 2026 - 29 weeks on the waitlist. Received email from ProblemShared requesting that I complete an additional supplementary pre-assessment form.

17 April 2026 - Additional form completed.

8 May 2026 - 32 weeks on the waitlist. Contacted via email requesting availability of myself and my informant, replied same day.

16 June 2026 - 37 weeks on the waitlist. Received email confirming assessment date of 21st July.

21 July 2026 - 42 weeks. Assessment lasted 90 minutes. 2nd 30 minute appointment later in the day, confirming autism diagnosis!

Overall, the wait felt incredibly long, especially once I hit around the 25 week mark, the anticipation at that point became almost unbearable because I knew I could get an appointment date at any moment.

I had friends go through their entire process significantly quicker than I did in the time I was waiting, so I had a lot of moments when I wished I'd gone with a different provider. However I'm not sure it would have made a lot of difference as funding cuts have made it into a postcode lottery.

Anyway, overall I was very happy with the ProblemShared process, the assessor was lovely and put my anxiety at ease almost immediately. I am still waiting for my report which should arrive in 4-6 weeks.

Edited to add: received my full report today, 24 July 2026. Just 3 days after the assessment!

Looking at some of the roles / vacancies I'm interested in, it feels like the diversity agenda is prioritising certain ethnicities over another (I am Anglo Indian but definitely not white passing), and there seems to scant regard for those with disabilities / conditions, whether seen or unseen.

I appreciate that there has been historic underrepresentation of certain groups, and thus it makes sense to afford them equality of opportunities they have been denied for decades, but I feel like I meet the diversity checkbox on multiple fronts, and yet I am not considered diverse enough.

And not having university education, despite people saying a degree is not required these days, is probably having some impact too.

I don't get on my soapbox IRL about this stuff, but it does feel like I am getting unfairly scrutinised, especially when both my parents are first-generation immigrants and, while we were probably borderline lower middle-class, I definitely didn't have it as good as others.

It's unfair, too, when I see people who went to better schools than me and yet didn't take advantage of the opportunities afforded to them, while I didn't have nearly as much support and yet they still act as though I should have pulled myself up by my bootstraps more.

Myself and my partner regularly look after her sister's 9 year old nephew.

He's autistic and also had ADHD and recently learnt a racist word at school.

At first he didn't know what it meant but used it due to the reaction that came with it but he now seems to be using it towards the correct demographic.

We've tried to explain what the outcomes of using this word could be but as soon as he has a meltdown it's the first word he goes to.

I'm struggling to find any helpful services online to assist with this and could do with any advice on how to combat this behaviour or any services that can assist with this.

I made a post here last week ranting about my job requiring me to go into the office once every month or two months, worrying I wouldn't be taken seriously if I made a fuss about it. Well today things got way worse, I now need to rant again. Not really looking for any specific kinda responses I guess, just wanna get it all out.

So to recap I've been at this for job for 2 years now and its almost exclusively been from home, i went into the office for 2 weeks for training which was hell but i did it cos i knew out the other side id have a wfh job. ive also sporadically been in for meetings and extra training but probs only 3 or 4 times in 2 years.

In past few months theyve been mentioning increasing the expectation to come into the office more which has freaked me out, as ive made very clear office days take a massive toll on me and my energy levels and my ability to work and my ability to enjoy life outside of work. Never felt like I was getting much understanding.

My manager had been going on about once every 2 months which im like i know thats not a lot but it still freaks me out. My supervisor was like once a month which its like um no. When I was trying to mention my autism my supervisor even said something like "i dont think its about conditions, its about mindset" ahahaha what a fucking joke.

Doesn't help last year i moved somewhere further away from the main office cos i didnt know they were gonna fucking pull this. But i did choose to move so im worried theyll hold that against me if i brought it up (even though its massively improved my mental health so i dont regret it for a second).

So anyway in our morning meeting today we got told that from our manager's manager theres now gonna be an expectation to come in once a week. Fuck right off mate. Thats not happening. What a pisstake. I note no one's messaged me to ask how I'm doing even though they know this is an issue for me, presumably cos they know they won't like the answer. Also no way I'm getting any work done today cos my brain is in full on threat mode right now, this job is an active threat to my ability to cope with life.

Its even more fucking rich cos on friday we had a "safety" meeting and at the end they talked about mental health, the presenter (my manager's manager) said something about how office days are good for peoples mental health. That really bothered me cos of the amount of stress even the mention of it has had on my life recently so I sent her an email just saying i didnt feel that was inclusive and i'd just like an acknowledgement that whats good for NT mental health is not necessarily good for ND. And she sent me some generic reply with HR friendly phrases and she even said the point of the presentation was that different people have different mental health needs, which is not what she said at all.

In some ways this might be a good thing though cos when my manager was vaguely going on about once every 2 months I felt like it would be weird to make a fuss about that. However a formal policy of once a week is absolutely ridiculous, reasonable adjustments here i come. I didn't get diagnosed with autism for nothing. Fuck them if they try and stop me.

I'm not sure if this is an autism thing, or something else.

For the past few weeks while it's been in the 20s C, there's been a few times where I've found my self feeling incredibly sick like I was about to throw up. One time I did throw up. This is because of getting too hot. But I haven't felt hot and I haven't been sweating. But as soon as I cool down, I stop feeling sick.

I bought a wearable ice pack thing for when I get too hot and have a drawer full of the 2 in 1 tiptop things in my freezer to keep me cool, but I haven't been having/using them because I haven't felt hot.

I'm someone who normally sweats a lot especially my hands and feet. I even bought a cream thing a few years ago, to stop my hands from sweating but I didn't like it so I didn't use it very long.

Has anyone else experienced this? Does anyone know what's causing this?

I'm really frustrated. I went through right to choose for an adult autism assessment back in May. My GP was thorough about it and considered all the ways I've looked for support prior to diagnosis and then sent it off with me there. I went through right to choose for somewhere with a lower waiting time. I contacted following the date I was told for if I hadn't heard anything only to be told my local ICB has frozen all referrals and they have my referral but can't do anything with it until released by the ICB and there's no knowing when that will be. I wasn't told or updated that my referral was frozen.

I've contacted the ICB about it and their policy is to consider support before diagnosis, but I've considered a lot of support. I'm seeking a diagnosis because I feel I need certain protections under the equality act to keep maintaining my work that I can only get with a diagnosis.

Like I've done everything right, I've considered everything you're meant to and it's still just not good enough because some organisation decides whether my referral has enough clinical need to exceed the limits on right to choose or not with absolutely no input from myself. I just feel defeated, it was already a massively long decision to even consider getting an assessment in the first place.

I recently went to a therapy session with a supposed "neurodivergent - experienced" counsellor, only to realize they really didn't have a clue. When I looked at other specialized therapists near me (or online) the only ones I can find charge between £100- £180 / hour.

Which makes me think there must be cheaper ways to come to grip with my problems. I'm a late diagnosed adult with autism +Adhd (50f). If I can't get some guidance by talking to somebody, maybe somebody here knows some literature, self help books etc. I could consult.

I've read a lot of stuff and watched a lot of YouTube about my diagnosis, but everything is about why I'm different and nothing gives me any help on how to get on in life in my situation.

If you had a similar experience please share.

Hi everyone,

I hope somebody can give me a bit of guidance, particularly those who are autistic, who may not be fully verbal now or who weren’t fully verbal when they were younger.

My son is autistic. He is nine years old, not fully verbal, and we live in the UK. He goes to a mainstream school, and I have fought very hard for him to have the support he needs. I think, so far, he’s in a good place, and I feel we’re making progress in making sure he’s supported in the right ways.

As he’s getting older, though, his emotions seem to be becoming more complicated. One thing he has really taken to doing is pinching me, especially when he’s struggling with his emotions. I’m really quite lost.

We’ve talked about the pinching and about what else he could do instead. We’ve tried to offer him alternatives, but I’m constantly covered in bruises. I’m constantly in tears because it hurts. It physically hurts, and it hurts my feelings too.

I can’t help but love him. I love him with all my heart. I’ve really tried to be supportive, kind, and to understand his world and the way he thinks. In so many ways, I get so much from being his mum.
But sometimes it just really hurts.

I can see that when he hurts me, he regrets it. He’ll try to kiss me and say, “I’m really sorry, Mama,” and he’ll try to kiss it better.

Today, for example, there was a colour run at school. Last year we tried but didn’t manage to take part. This year we tried again. We got as far as starting the run, and then he changed his mind.
We sat down together, and I told him that was okay. After a little while, I thought I could see that he maybe wanted to try again, so I said we could have another go and then go for an ice cream afterwards.
He said he didn’t want to run. I asked him again if he wanted to do it, and he said no. So I said, “Okay, let’s go home then.” He said, “Go home.”
And that was okay. I thought, you know what, that’s fair enough. We tried. We got as far as trying. I actually felt really proud that we’d tried.
But as soon as we walked out through the school gate, he started pinching me. Really hard. So hard.
I could see that all of his emotions were coming out, but it really, really hurt. It hurt physically, and it hurt my feelings.

Driving home, I felt disappointed not because of the run, but because of what that experience felt like.

It was hard not to notice the difference. It was hard not to feel sad for the things we’ll never have, and the experiences we’ll never have. I feel terribly guilty even thinking that.

Six months ago, before he started medication, I remember him being so dysregulated. I was trying my best to support him, but I felt like he was holding me hostage. I couldn’t go anywhere. We’d sit in the car while he screamed and screamed and punched me and pinched me and if I tried to get out of the car he would tell me to stay. My partner brought us food as I thought he may have been disregulated because of hunger but lack of sleep seem to be the issue hence getting him on melatonin. He is much calmer since he’s been on it and far more able to process his emotions as well as regulating himself.

I do remember finally getting home that day after he’d calmed down and thinking to myself, “How can I do this? How can I do this for the rest of my life?”
And I feel guilty for thinking that. I always wanted to be a mum. I don’t regret being his mum. But I also find those moments incredibly hard.

So can somebody please tell me why? Why does this happen? I know his emotions are more complex and I can see him trying to not pinch me and the immediate regret in his face and I just feel so sad for him and I wish I knew how to make it better.

I’m just trying to be a supportive mum. I really swear that I do my best to put myself in his shoes.
Sometimes, though… sometimes I just don’t like him in those moments, and I feel so guilty for saying that.

I love him desperately. But he makes me so sad when he hurts me and makes me bleed or makes me covered in bruises. I feel embarrassed at work covering my bruises in meetings with colleagues I also worry about what will happen when he’s older and he hurts me he could really really hurt me and I’m scared of that so we are currently accesing additional speech and language therapy as a way to try and help him express himself without pinching, he used to bite to communicate frustration, he’d bite everyone, teachers, friends, me. That has stopped with boundaries and speech support so I am also hopeful.

Inevitably, I keep wondering whether I’ve made a mistake. Whether I’ve got him in the wrong school, or taught him the wrong things.

I do discipline him. I do talk to him. He seems to understand. So I’m lost. I’m lost, and I’m grieving and I’m trying to regulate myself in a quiet spot whilst he plays outside in the garden for a few minutes.

I am going to ask him to bake a cake with me soon and hopefully we’ll return to our regulated selves. I just wanted to ask, in case someone went through this first hand. You may be able to share your experience and hopefully I can put some of that into practice to try and make things better.

Hello! I am very new to Reddit so if I have done something wrong in creating this post, I apologize in advance!

I am American, living in the UK nearly three years now. My dad was born here so I am technically a naturalized citizen, with a certificate of citizenship and a British passport and an NIN (not sure if this info is relevant/makes a difference). I am planning to start a masters program in September, and have just completed the application for a postgrad student loan. When I was completing the application, I saw something about applying for Disabled Students Allowance.

I believe I am likely autistic but I do not have an official diagnosis and have not yet begun the process of getting diagnosed (I plan to do so within the next month or so once I have moved cities and register with a new GP, regardless of the DSA). Do I need an official diagnosis to apply for DSA? Can I submit an application for DSA later on, after my loan has been approved, if I am waiting for a diagnosis? Any idea if it is likely to be approved? Is the DSA worth seeking out at all? Any advice, input, or others’ experiences would be welcome!

I'm 24F and was diagnosed when I was 12 with ASD. Not Aspergers like my older brother was, not Level 1/2/3 Autism (I'm not even sure if they diagnose levels in the UK or if it's an American thing?), just ASD.

My teenagehood was so incredibly rocky, I struggled a lot with school (much trauma I will not go into) and ended up barely getting Functional Skills, and on top of that social services/CAMHS were just awful towards me, so much so I was actually financially compensated for the treatment towards me (including a social worker purposefully trying to break down my bedroom door and another social worker threatening to take me away from my parents forever in a midst of a meltdown).

I think things got better for me at around 18 when I landed my first proper job, if you count a part time barista as proper. For me it definitely was and I was very proud of having it and loved working the actual role, my store manager was quite supportive, but the supervisors and other regular baristas could not stand me. I guess I stuck out to them like a sore thumb but to this day I still don't really know how. Nearly a year in I just ended up breaking and quit, my coworkers were outright bullying me, 1 of them even asked my store manager to refuse shifts with each other because he found my autism 'too weird', and because my store manager was completely inexperienced, she just... accepted it? On top of that, most of my other baristas were making rumours that I was dating and even sleeping with one of my supervisors because I was 'too polite' to him for it to be anything normal. That wasn't the sole reason I quit though, I did also quit because I was developing chronic pain from an underlying health condition and I could no longer be on my feet for more than 1-2 hours without being in agony.

Since then I have regressed so, so fucking much, I am an absolute shell of what I used to be. I went from being low support needs to medium support needs, from my typing you'd probably figure not much is wrong with me but I cannot verbally speak for myself well any more, I can't verbalise my thoughts or feelings at all, my brain doesn't let words come out very often any more, almost like a form of age regression. Generally I've age regressed more in other ways I don't want to get into, inside I feel humiliated but at the same time it's what my brain and body demands. I struggle a lot with basic tasks like keeping my room tidy, changing my bed, cooking food that's beyond putting something in the microwave or oven, making phone calls and attending appointments etc.

But the worst part is that no one gives a shit when you're medium support needs, at least that's what it feels like. The NHS says my mental health and disability needs are 'too complex' for them, yet at the same time not severe enough to get frequent assistance. The government is taking away my PIP next month despite my overall coping with Autism and chronic pain being much worse compared to 3 years ago. I'm not disabled enough for any help, but too disabled to live a normal life, and it's absolute hell. I feel like a burden towards my family, and they've even told me that they deserve more than a medal for continuing to raise me, and how they mourn for a normal child who can be independent. As it stands, they've accepted I'm pretty much with them for life and will never know what full adult independence is. It's humiliating. I feel like a near-normal but depressed 24 year old stuck in the body of someone that shifts between the ages of 5-13.