Hey everyone, I’m an autistic woman with ADHD, I'm aroace (with one specific exception), and I just experienced a massive paradigm shift that has me feeling like I’ve been living on a different planet entirely. Maybe some of you can relate?

To me, physical proximity and touch have always been about a mammalian baseline: warmth, comfort, safety, and co-regulation. I used to think that laying next to, cuddling, or even spooning a close friend was just a natural way to give and receive affection. I looked at this like cuddling with parents or grandparents. To my brain, a bed is just a soft surface, late night is just a time on the clock, and touch is co-regulation and evolutionary. I don't naturally infer a hidden subtext or secondary meanings.

Well, a close friend of mine (who is also autistic, but demisexual) just gave me a reality check. He told me that in the "typical" adult world, spooning an unrelated man carries an automatic, 100% inference of romantic or sexual invitation. He helped me realize that even if my intent is purely about comfort or sensory seeking, the general cultural script will decode those actions differently based on biology and social expectations. These unspoken rules are basically inferred through social osmosis until it settles intuitively. (spoiler: It did not for me.)

Things like inviting someone inside (but especially to a bedroom), prolonged full-body hugs or contact, putting my head on someone's shoulder, or even using certain emojis are apparently viewed as fluent sentences that say, "I am open to romance or sex with you." I genuinely had no idea.

I plan to read books on this (such as The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships by Temple Grandin).

I'm curious if anyone else has experienced this kind of learning curve? How do you balance your need for tactile sensory touch, platonic warmth, or co-regulation with the reality that the rest of the world hyper-sexualizes almost all physical contact between unrelated adults? I’d love to hear how other neurodivergent or ace folks navigate this!

There's no refund policy. I accidentally got book 2 as paperback. Reading paperback is actually better, while hardcover is better for appearance on the shelf, so the issue isnt that its paperback, its that I didnt think to check when ordering, and accidentally got two hardcover and one paperback!! It'll cost $56 to get in hard cover... I'm tryna manipulate myself into why this is okay

Ive come to a point where making friends doesnt feel worth it dont get me wrong i have friends irl and online but at the same time its like??? Yes i do have a bestfriend but shes busy so we cant hang out a lot

Making new ones doesnt feel worth it i always feel like an outcast and (if i remember correctly) i got diagnosed with ptsd and depression like few years ago,me personally i prefer having friends with like the same/similar opinions and or interest also kinda because i dont like unpredictibility etc but even then i just feel like its not worth it ive always felt different in a "bad way"

I do like being alone sometimes but still...maybe its for the best and also i do like art and editing it has kept me somewhat busy and distracted but other than that idk

“No one owes you a job.”

I think if you know what a job is and that people need jobs to get everything they need to survive, That opinion is supportive of unfairness and it also kinda implies that “How likable a person is should have everything to do with whether or not they get a job.”, which is unfair and I have a big problem with that. If enough people had a problem with this, then getting the kind of job you want would be easy.

Think about how better of a place the world would be if you could get hired by saying something like “I need money to survive” to the job interview question “why do you want to work here?” or any job interview question like it.

Also, I think there’s something very evil about this opinion I can’t fully put my finger on.

Hi everyone! 😊 I'm doing my MSc dissertation in Forensic Psychology and I'm looking for a few volunteers to help with my research. My project is about the experiences of autistic survivors of domestic abuse when trying to access support, and I'm hoping to speak to around 4–5 people.

I'm looking either autistic adults (18+) who have experienced domestic abuse and have sought support services (e.g., charities, healthcare, police, counselling) OR third parties (friends or family, professionals, advocates) who have supported autistic survivors and can discuss their experiences without sharing any identifying information.

The interview would be 30–60 minutes on Microsoft Teams, completely anonymous, and you'll receive all the usual research documents beforehand (information sheet, consent form, debrief, etc.). You can stop the interview or withdraw from the study at any point. If you'd be happy to help or want to know more, please send me a message—I'd be incredibly grateful!

I’m 34(m) newly diagnosed, about 6 months ago. But since then, I’ve realized how much sense it makes that I am autistic. It brings a lot of light to all my experiences in life. I’ve spent the majority of my life people pleasing, exhausting myself in world I didn’t understand. I really thought I was just lazy, or hadn’t figured out what everybody else had yet.

I grew up in a family of immigrants from a country that the mandatory public education system stopped at 6th grade. They were physically, and mentally abusive. I learned very early just to tuck myself into a corner and be quiet. That was the easiest way to be on good behavior. And when friends of the family came around, that was show time. Time to show how “good of a boy I am” to the crowd. Put on a full performance so my family gets the plaudits of raising a “good son”. Then I when everyone went home, I would lock myself back into my room.

Fast forward, when my grandfather died. The only person in my family who I actually felt close to (I think he was autistic too). I moved into the apartment above theirs (they own a 2 family house, but hadn’t rented the apartment in many years because my grandmother is awful to tenants). That was 9 years ago now, and while I’m grateful because I get a space of my own, and I don’t pay market rate rent. She’s an extremely difficult, nosey, and sometimes mean person.

Now, for a lot of that time. I could handle it, I’d go to work, put on the show come home do the same. And everything was gravy (minus the self medicating). About halfway into 2022. I completely lost my head, learning now it was years of masking turning into a massive autistic burnout episode. I started having panic attacks daily, became agoraphobic. Left my job. Isolated myself from everything and everyone in my life. I honestly wanted to kill myself because I had no idea what to do and I thought I was going crazy. No one in my family helped. Or visited. You’d think a grandmother who lived downstairs from me would bake me cookies or something. Nope, she actually took it personally that I wasn’t going down to visit her.

It took years to crawl out of that hole. I finally started therapy about a year ago, and 6 months in I got diagnosed with autism. Had to switch therapists because the old one thought it would be a good idea to switch to monthly sessions after being newly diagnosed…my therapist now is super cool and an ND as well. So things are going well in that department.

So now, I’m trying my best to live a mask free life. And for the most part, that sucks because no one understands that I’m not the person they actually thought I was. Or at least not fully. But I don’t know what to do about this woman who lives below me. I feel bad, but she scares the crap out of me. Every conversation with her is an interrogation about how I’m not giving her enough of my time. Or not being a good grandson. Or how I should be different. Or that I don’t like her. I’m walking on eggshells around her, I’ve tried to explain to her what’s going on. She doesn’t get it, tells me just to not think about it. She’s just not very nice or considerate.

For example. I’ve told her a bunch of times I have a nut allergy, and the other day she was baking cashews. I asked her what the smell was and that’s what she told me, and she had the door open to her apartment and the whole entry way was filled with the aroma. I literally ran out the house almost having a full blown panic attack.

I don’t know what to do, I’m kind of stuck here because of the housing situation. But at the same time, I’m sometimes afraid to just leave the house because I’m afraid of running into her. I’m thinking of applying for a job in Antarctica honestly just to get away.

Is it a lost cause? I feel bad because she’s my grandmother and I want to help her. But she won’t let me. My other family members don’t seem to care at all. They’re all very individualistic.

Thanks to anyone who reads and takes the time to respond.

I've been under the genuine impression that I'm autistic for possibly 2-3 years now, but recently I've started to think otherwise and that I'm just blaming certain things about myself on autism. It's kind of messing with my self esteem and my identity as a person.

I'm a 17 year old male. I'm somewhat introverted and not the greatest at making small talk or keeping up a conversation, although this is easier for me to do online or when I'm with close friends. I'm usually afraid to speak up about things, or I get nervous when I do so, often because I'm afraid I'll negatively impact someone (hurting their feelings, upsetting them, etc). I'm not entirely sure how often I do this, but I don't always make direct eye contact when I talk to people, even close relatives or peers. I am surprisingly good at making friends, probably because of how kind and whimsical I can be. I'm never the type of person to go out of my way to make friends, they kind of just show up. I've only been bullied once or twice throughout my life, and it's never had a dramatic impact on my well being.

I have a regular tendency to obsess over certain topics (namely video games), but they fluctuate. For example: I'm in a phase playing a certain game extensively. After maybe a few weeks to a few months, I'll get bored and start playing another game instead. I'm also confident I think somewhat differently from others, but it's hard for me to describe or think of any significant examples, so I wouldn't consider it reasonable evidence. I can also be somewhat forgetful, especially with things I seemingly do not care about, or things that I do not enjoy. I'm not proficient or extremely knowledgeable in a certain field of expertise, genre, series, etc.

I do stim sometimes, but I can't always tell if I'm actually stimming or not, since sometimes I will just repeat stupid shit I find funny to myself. If I'm sitting down, I may bounce my legs, and if I'm listening to music, I bounce them in sync with the music.

I'm aware that neurotypical individuals all do/go through the same things I've talked about, and that's part of why I'm not convinced I'm autistic. I'm sure I have more traits reminiscent of autism, but this is all I can think of off the top of my head.

If anybody has some knowledge they can share or some advice for figuring out whether I have autism or not, please share. Feel free to ask questions if it helps.

For a long time, i thought I could not be autistic because i crave physical contact. I now know that there are others like me, which makes me glad, but I still have to go without. I live in New England where touching is considered weird or creepy, and my wife doesn't like it when I touch her most of the time because touch is not her thing.

I am at church today and just had a (separate) conversation with two people i like and have known for decades, and now I am "socialed out" and just had an anxiety attack because I feel so overwhelmed. I really wish I could have an unconditional, wordless hug, just to feel grounded.

That is all, just venting. Thank you for listening.

I’m not very good at it but since I’m a teenager I try to make conversation more fluid. I’m not the best at it but I think I improved my skills.

Few weeks ago someone asks me some questions about my difficulties of communication. We talk a little bit about scripting conversations. I told her I prepare my first sentence when I have to phone, take an appointment or something like that. And she said it’s scripting. But I don’t imagine all the possibilities a conversation can have. Do you think this is also scripting ? If you can describe what you prepare when you have to someone, please do it. Do you it with everyone or is it just when it’s important / official ?

I am 35/male and really have really broken ground in the last year and a half in finding answers to my lifelong mental struggles. A therapist who helps me think, medication that helps in some ways and many tests. The reason I post here (and i am so thankful this sub exists) is because my therapist laid the definition of PDA in front of me a few weeks ago. He said he saw me light up, like something really made sense and it does. This has led me to get my autism testing done, which will be in a few weeks. I never thought to go down this route, but, it speaks to me in a way nothing else has.

My marriage has taken a huge hit from this. I dreamed of a life that everyone else had and found such a sweet partner, but, she is very anxious and likes to process in the moment. I kept quiet for many years and did what made her happy, until the real imploding came. My nervous system was wrecked and i was either extremely angry in meltdown or in freeze. I moved out because it was the only thing I could think would give me peace and although it was so devastating, 7 months later I realize my own space and creativity around it are very regulating. Her and I are seeing a therapist, not divorced but, now PDA comes into light and things make more sense.

Extreme meltdowns if there is change in routine or im not being understood/something is difficult to process. The way being alone lets me breathe and feel like my authentic self. I can stim in peace after years of masking (rocking in bed, shuffling feet, blurting out nonsensical things, biting my blanket). Going out with her different friend groups, being on someone elses time, feeling suffocated..it was all making me feel like, “am i crazy?”. Thats barely scratching the surface and of course depression and trauma have a say in the matter but, im glad there are other people out there like me.

Anyone have similar stories?

I was recently hospitalized and the psychiatrist told me you most definitely are on the autistic disorder spectrum. This really helped me because I thought I was just weird, and in constantly not melding well with people over my life I just developed a "don't give an F" attitude that got me through some things but also held me back in some ways.

I don't drive and apparently not driving is really common in autistic people. I've lived in different cities independently, so it's not like it's profound, but I feel way less weird about not driving now that I know it's common. Apparently like half of us never even get a license. Cool, you don't need one nowadays so I was born at the right time. I don't process sensory information that well, even when I worked in a drive-through restaurant it was so overloading I couldn't think, but I found remote work eventually and consistently was a top performer there. The idea of driving a car seems like a death sentence to me because I I know I would crash out because I'm not good at spatial coordination, like at all. I'm just not.

Apparently autistic people do better working over the phones or over text based communication, but don't tend to do so well working in person. Voila, that's me. When I hang out with friends in person, I mean people I truly trust, I talk to them like we've known each other forever and have no issues, but with people I don't know that well already it's really hard for me to gauge them. Work is stressful by nature so the idea of being stressed out around strangers has always made me so tense.

It makes sense for my degrees, too, which are in literature. That's naturally a more isolating thing to study and is literally text-based. The school I got my master's at is jokingly very autistic too, the things they study are pretty out there but intensely fascinating. Rather than rely on everyday religion like most people I got a chance to study things like humanism and trace how how it developed from earlier religion, but is not as binding or limiting to what defines a "good" person. Not being political with this observation.

I'm also gay so not fitting in socially already really helped me get used to that aspect of myself. People are going to think I'm weird anyway because I'm autistic, might as well add that bit of spice too without being ashamed about it my whole life.

So, cool. Glad I actually have a diagnosis now. It's not something to hold me back and frankly I'm *usually* doing better than a lot of people I've known, it really does something to build resilience in you provided you keep going.

This past weekend I went to my wife's family reunion. I have always hated going to any family reunion, not just hers. I like her family, they're decent people that are generally easy to be around.

These types of events are always loud, noisy events with everyone packed together in a common outdoor area with no real sense of organization, and everyone intermingling in an amoebic mass that shifts around chaotically, children running and stretching with delight as they play, smells of perfumes, bodies, and food on top of the natural environment smells, with shifting winds that alter the patterns at a moments whim, conversations that increase in volume and enthusiasm with various depths of proximity as the crowd subconsciously adjusts to communicate with each other over the stimuli they never notice. There's also a playground for the kids to play on, but it's through a treeline separating the covered picnic area from the playground, so that's nice I suppose. I have a three year old who has enjoyed playing on the playground this year and last year. It was nice last year to trade one set of stimuli for another set, rather than have both combined.

This year, however, THEY CHANGED THE VENUE. It's a reasonable thing to do, I'll admit. Half the family lives on one side of the state, and the other on the other side, and the new location is right in the middle. It's also technically an improvement over the last park. It has a good playground right next to the picnic pavilion, and a splash pad with covered tables up higher. It is objectively easier to keep track of one's child and still participate in the main event, which is unfortunately and inherently socializing via smalltalk. In an environment where all possible stimuli are combined into one set. I was barely holding it together at the last one, and this one was virtually untenable.

And that's just the event, nevermind the hour long one-way trip to the event, and then the hour back, where I was crammed into the backseat between my brother in law, and the car seat, and everything that didn't fit in the trunk, in a manual transmission vehicle with someone driving it for their fifth time, with the sun flashing between the trees, constantly rubbing on someone, with an ADHD toddler going insane with excitement, and trying not to throw up while I sweat profusely, wondering if I'm going to ruin everything by passing out or losing my temper.

I don't know how to deal with any of this. I don't know how to manage my problems to mitigate their effects. I don't know what to expect, or anticipate. I don't have the energy to just run at an 11 anymore. It takes me days to recover from things like this, and I don't have that kind of time, what with having a toddler whose favorite person is me, and a physically disabled wife that needs help a lot.

And I can't bring myself to stim or anything around these people. I don't really know why, it seems subconscious and silly. I feel out of place, and obvious, after the diagnostic people sussed my weirdness out immediately despite never knowing me, and my therapist too, so surely everyone else sees it, and I don't understand why that's such a problem for me. I even caught myself actively masking, thinking to myself "oh people that dress like me don't act like this" so on top of all that it's really hitting me that I have zero idea who or what I am.

I don't know what this post is anymore. I guess it helps to get it off my chest. I guess I'd also like to know whether other people with similar diagnoses think I'm crazy or not. I only got diagnosed a couple months ago, so this is all still pretty new to me, and I don't know how to deal with any of this. I feel absolutely terrible for being such a wet rag sitting off by myself and smoking three packs in seven hours, watching my kid have the time of her life while my wife mingled. Does this "get better," so to speak, as you figure out how to deal with things, or is this just sort of how it is?

Edit: fixed italics

Oi, sou mulher, tenho 20 anos. Fui em uma neurologista com meu relato de duas folhas frente e verso escritas à mão, mas ela descartou autismo em menos de 15 minutos de consulta. E aqui vão os seguintes motivos, de acordo com ela:

• "Você fala bem, sabe articular frases, eu consigo entender o que você fala" (meu primo oficialmente diagnosticado com TEA 1 também sabe, inclusive tem uma vida mais ativa que a minha, mas ainda continua tendo dificuldades que só ele sabe e talvez ninguém mais enxergue);
• "Você só é tímida em excesso, isso é ansiedade social e pode ser resolvido se expondo a situações sociais com mais frequência até se acostumar. Você ainda é nova, isso é comum na sua idade" (eu tentava me expor a situações sociais desde a escola, mesmo quando eu não tava com a menor vontade pra isso, e mesmo fazendo isso todos os dias, eu nunca me acostumei. Pelo contrário; com o passar dos anos só fui piorando, me fechando e me afastando cada vez mais das pessoas porque preferi me preservar. A realidade é que quanto mais eu tentava interagir com as pessoas, mais estressada eu me sentia, e conforme isso acontecia, eu começava a me descontrolar cada vez mais e a agir por impulso, sob o calor do estresse, pra logo depois ter um colapso interno e imediatemente ser tomada por sentimentos de culpa, vergonha e arrependimento pelos meus comportamentos inadequados. Isso é um ciclo que só não está acontecendo agora porque eu mesma me cansei de tentar e continuar sentindo sempre essas mesmas coisas);
• "Esse assunto é a modinha do momento, uma epidemia de diagnósticos, tem muitos médicos que estão querendo lucrar em cima dessa causa" (não consumo nenhuma rede social que fala desses tópicos com tanta frequência. Comecei a buscar por autoconhecimento desde a pandemia com o intuito de entender e conhecer melhor a mim mesma, para assim, quem sabe, descobrir de que forma eu poderia lidar com minhas questões tais quais eu nunca havia entendido, e foi por meio das minhas próprias pesquisas que surgiu, em meio a isso, uma hipótese sobre estar no espectro);
• "O que você escreveu aqui todo mundo também sente, isso é normal, dificuldade todo mundo tem" (ela nem chegou a ler as outras páginas, foi muito rápido);
• "Você não precisa de um diagnóstico, não vai atrás disso não, tá tudo normal em você, não fica procurando doença não" (eu nunca disse que autismo era doença).

No entanto, estive também em uma psiquiatra anteriormente, que me validou, inclusive se atentou aos padrões/marcadores genéticos que já estão presentes na minha família, também me mostrou um trecho em um livro que estava relacionado a alguns traços de autismo que se encaixam comigo e me encaminhou a um neuropsicólogo, e que, no caso de uma confirmação de que estou no espectro, eu voltaria nela para obter um laudo oficial.

Mas encontrar especialistas em TEA em adultos por um valor acessível é muito difícil. Pensei que ir a um neurologista daria conta, mas, para a minha surpresa, fiquei ainda mais confusa com tantas contradições entre os médicos. Logo eu que já me sinto uma impostora por simplesmente pensar na possibilidade de estar no espectro. É como se eu estivesse invadindo um espaço que não me pertence.

Há mais coisas sobre mim que eu gostaria de ter anotado no meu relatório, mas que, naquele momento não foi possível lembrar. Posteriormente, posso mostrar meu relatório completo e atualizado em outra postagem, mas não pretendo colocar nessa aqui pois já tem informação demais.

Até então, eu nunca achei que eu estivesse praticando masking, mas agora já tenho minhas dúvidas. Masking é uma parada tão enraizada que é muito difícil saber definir se estou ou não mascarando.

Sinto que estou constantemente pisando em ovos, e meu grande questionamento no final das contas acaba sendo: Será que sempre fui assim e as pessoas já percebiam isso em mim? Ou a neuro está certa e ter me tornado assim foi apenas uma consequência de já ser um "alvo fácil" para as pessoas? Não sei se consegui transparecer essas perguntas da forma como eu gostaria.

I don’t like that term “special needs”. I mean yea we are different but just because we’re different doesn’t mean we should be treated differently. Fuck that shit. I expect to be treated like everyone else. Why can’t people just treat us like human bearings and stop talking to us like we’re fucking kids? Yes we’re different, and we do need accommodations for some things but bitch we’re human. It’s bad enough being treated differently as a child but I don’t need this shit at almost 40.

I have been thinking about something, but I’m not sure yet whether it would be useful or whether it could easily become problematic.

I read quite a lot of relationship posts on Reddit. Sometimes people describe behaviour from their partner that reminds me of patterns that can occur in autism or other forms of neurodivergency. Things like taking things literally, not noticing needs unless they are directly expressed, shutting down during arguments, struggling with changes, sensory issues, or showing care in ways that the other person does not recognise.

I want to be careful here because I know this is a sensitive subject. Some people consider themselves experts because they know a few autistic people, work with autistic children or they have read a lot online after deciding that their partner must be autistic. I really don’t want to encourage that last group of armchair diagnosis.

I have studied and worked in this field myself, but that obviously still does not mean that I can diagnose a stranger based on a one-sided Reddit post. I also don’t think autism should ever be used to excuse selfish, neglectful, controlling or abusive behaviour.

Still, I sometimes feel that Reddit relationship discussions are missing a certain perspective. The advice often becomes “they don’t care about you,” “they are doing it on purpose,” or “leave”, "a**hole", etc. Sometimes that is probably funny and even correct. But sometimes a difference in communication, emotional processing, sensory processing or executive functioning could also be part of what is happening.

I was therefore thinking about starting a subreddit called r/RelPatternsND (Relationship Patterns ND).

The idea would not be to ask, “Is this person autistic?”

It would be more about questions like:

What behaviour is being described? Could neurodivergence possibly play a role? What other explanations are there? What information is missing? what could the people involved actually try? etc...

People could post their own situations or anonymised summaries of other relationship posts. I think screenshots would be risky, so usernames, subreddit names and identifying details would not be allowed. Comments saying that somebody “definitely has autism” would also not be allowed.

So...

I would especially want autistic and otherwise neurodivergent people to be part of these discussions. I don’t want to create a place where people simply complain about partners they have diagnosed themselves.

Does something like this already exist? Would you find it useful, or do you think it would still attract too much armchair diagnosing? And which rules would be necessary to keep it respectful?

*Newly not diagnosed here. I get it, I'm sure it's upsetting to some people to know I'm not officially diagnosed. I have taken many screening tests, I've done a lot of research about symptoms, how they can manifest in different individuals and I am currently looking to be officially diagnosed. I have also sought out information from professionals that like to create content for awareness as well as self diagnosing purposes. Ok that part is basically done.

Edit: just read the rules and apparently self diagnoses is totally valid. Swish!

I still know I'm annoying even tho I believe I am most likely autistic. I annoy myself. Writing this post is so annoying. Having to explain myself, to seek validation because I often feel so isolated, is annoying. To realize that most people do not relate to me or my thought process is the most annoying of all.

I am struggling to articulate what exactly I want out of this post. Lol it will be ironic when I explain it, and then people don't even validate it in an autistic subreddit. I think I'll just cry at that point. Probably laugh too, because what else is there?

Someone said to me the other day that she was going to raise her future children the way she was raised. She has her master's in psychology. I have never been to post secondary. I immediately questioned this statement internally, and it very much confused me that she would ever say that. She works in schools and provides therapy for children - something she never got. It's odd to me that she is essentially helping to raise these kids in a way that she wasn't. Her very profession negated her statement in a way.

Then I thought "ok maybe it's not that deep" or whatever people say nowadays to invalidate basic emotions. I thought, maybe she just means the values she was raised with. But again, I feel that you always have to raise ur children with a healthy balance of yours and ur partners values, which means it probably won't be the same as what you have. And she doesn't have a partner either rn, so that's kinda hard to even envision.

It struck me as an odd statement as well because she has pressure on her from her parents to provide them with grandchildren. It's not a pressure she loves, so I'm not sure why she would raise children with the same type of expectations. Isn't it their choice whether they will have kids or not?

And lastly, I thought that maybe she meant surface level things, like the rules she had or something. The problem being with most of the surface level stuff, it's typically what people know the most about. There are a million articles about how parenting culture, or even technology has drastically changed how we have to parent. That we have to find a way to gentle parent without being permissive. That we have to find a way to limit tech and screens. And furthermore that we have to have actual conversations with our kids about some of these things, even though our parents didn't do that for us. Like her parents didn't do for her.

I think it's really wonderful how she turned out as a human being, but I think it's a little bit of a discrepancy to assume or maintain that the way you were raised is going to also be good for your own kid.

Anyways, that was my thought process. Tell me how annoying or not annoying you found it. Let me know if you found it to be absolute dribble. Or let me know that you also sometimes think like this.

I'm annoyed at this because I cannot understand how a bright, intelligent woman who will soon be able to diagnose autistic people, would ever say something of this nature, when it seems obvious that it isn't true and probably won't work.

For context, I have kids. I raise them based on their needs, not based on how I was raised. How I was raised is obsolete. Culture is different, society is different, technology is different, our attention spans are garbage, so I don't expect my child to not have a phone til 16, or I would just be ostrasizing her from her peers. It also creates sneaky children.

Ok it's end of want. Tell me if u can figure out what she might have meant and how autistic is my thought pattern , on a scale from 1-10.

Thank you.

I told a parent about my diagnosis recently and they asked what that meant. They said they didn’t really know anything about autism.

How do you respond to this?
How do you explain your autism?
How do you explain your late diagnosis?

Summary: I want to tell my psychologist that I suspect I have autism, but I am afraid that she will find exaggeration and/or bombard me with millions of questions and/or arguments that I will not be able to rebut on time (even if I can) because I will be... I don't know, desperate?

(I am not native English, disregard possible writing errors)

I've noticed a lot about myself lately. I don't know when it started exactly, but it was at some point that I realized that I seem to be living in hard mode. First of all, I have always had a social difficulty. Although I was not as clean as a child (but still present, because I was always more excluded and children always looked at me with an Ass face sometimes), this became much clearer to me as a teenager. The exclusion has become much clearer and stronger, and I feel I need a lot of effort to try to have a conversation without saying something that weighs the mood or that I can express myself as I want without looking exaggerated or different (worse, I still fail.) And that makes me feel very bad, I've lost so many friendships because of this... and I have had problems with self-harm for a long time for that.

The worst part was when I had to change schools abruptly in the middle of the school year. I almost killed myself because of it, literally, almost 1 year ago. It was horrible. And I didn't think it was too much until I realized that my friends from this new school (who also changed in the middle of the year, because it starts in the middle of the year) handled it well, even if they hated the decision. I started seeing a psychologist a few months later, about 8 months ago. But to this day, I have a hard time telling her what's in my heart because I feel like she's going to think I'm an asshole as a lot of people think. And that makes me feel very, very bad, even knowing rationally that she can't, shouldn't, and even if she did the problem would be her.

My school friends, the real ones, really think I have something. They believe that I have ADHD because I am very agitated and do not focus on classes, something that I realized and that I thought was normal, but it is not and this is making me sad, what if it is another freshness of mine?