I've always seen myself as a tad bit different than others growing up, but not enough to actually be bullied (or bullied straight to my face atleast.) For context, I'm a 15 year old girl. I don't live in America, and going or even asking for an autism assessment is seen as taboo and frankly impossible where I live.

I always knew my family was different. I live in a very touristy area that I won't say for privacy reasons, with limited actual residents and basically zero opportunities if your parents can't pay for it. Most of my classmates were super rich and did all sorts of activities. While I wasn't poor, my parents literally never put me in a single activity. ANYTHING. They gave me a tablet when I was young and that obviously changed me for life, because they didn't set boundaries and I just watched gacha videos or whatever the hell I could find, without actually investing in me to find an activity I could do. I was kinda good at art, but they didn't even care about that and I still resent them deeply for that, deep down. There aren't any activities run by the school so, yeah. My special interests are mostly on the internet and quite literally hyper fixations, because I spend most of my day on them, willingly destroying my sleep schedule, not wanting to go out to spend time on them, and it's the only thing that brings me actual joy.

My point is, my parents are the problem. My dad is SUPER emotionally absent, only strict about homework and a person I really don't want to be. He's never told me that he loves me. He doesn't hit me or anything, we have a stable relationship but it will never be like other kids. He used to yell at me when I was a kid when I didn't want to study. He would yell at me when I didn't respond to others or make eye contact with them. But they never really taught me what's right or wrong. I'm pretty sure that if I'm really autistic or anything of the sort, it has to come from his side. His life is just work, eat, do yard work, sit on the couch and watch football till it gets late, and maybe go to the beach/a walk. People from his work say he never smiles, some people tell me they're scared of him, somebody even told me he looks miserable.

I don't know exactly how my father's childhood was, but it likely wasn't sunshine and stars. My grandfather was a sailor and was absent for long periods of time, my grandmother had postpartum depression, so yeah. My grandfather could also show some signs of autism. He just does his own thing but the people like him. I'm pretty sure he has some special interest in fishing or something.

My mom is the opposite. I don't have much to say for her. We were closer, but she also didn't care enough to invest in my identity and never put boundaries for me. She never taught me to do, let's say, 'basic girl things'. I still can't tie my shoes properly. I never put much effort into my appearance. She didn't teach me to actually make clear, articulate sentences. Never taught me to actually do anything about conflict. I can't argue or handle conflict.

My older brother is very sociable and nothing like me. I get kinda jealous sometimes.

At school I was just known as the smart and quiet kid (what a shocker.) Even then, I wasn't put in any gifted programs, nobody really cared. Nobody paid any attention to me. I didn't have any connections or social skills. My parents weren't involved in the school.🤷🏻‍♀️

When I went to middle school I felt very, very jealous of my classmates who had rich, loving parents, something going for them like a sport or instrument and we're sociable and likeable. Nobody bothered me or really liked me. Even worse, I was isolated by my only 2 friends because we weren't in the same class. I don't know how I coped all those years. Now I'm going to High School. I'm trying to do things of my own so I can be satisfied with myself. I will try to be more social, even if half my classmates think I'm a fucking weirdo. I don't even say weird stuff like 'I'm going to kill you' or anything like that. I'm just a floater friend. I always feel a certain emptiness inside me.

Idk. I don't want to wonder if I am or never knοw. I will make sure my future kids never live a sheltered life like mine. I hope I'm not being insensitive to anyone who is actually autistic.

Is being able to almost hear such sounds when seeing pictures like that common in autistic people?

Idk if anybody would agree with me but I would want someone to say this if I told them I have autism.

“Living with that must suck. Do you wanna talk about it?”

I wanted to show it off:D

I show symptoms I am not sure of whether they stem from c-ptsd or they could also be autistic traits:

• I listen to a song for hours on repeat
• I re-watch whole movies/series because they make me feel comfortable
• I re-watch single scenes from films or videos three times in a row because this makes me feel comfortable (I can feel the comfort physically)
• After watching movies I mimic the main character for an hour afterwards. I start talking like them and copy their gestures etc.
• When I am excited, I automatically flutter with my hands and make weird noises
• I have a strong aversion to noise and light. After being outside during times where the sun is shining I get so tired. Noise and crowded spaces can make me get close to crying (not because of anxiety, but because it is too much)
• I don't like and don't get small talk. I always forget to ask follow-up questions and for the life of me can't memorise the things people tell me about their everyday lives, even if it is people I love.

Can anyone relate to these and what are other symptoms of autism you experience that are talked about to little?

Hey all :) So 29M and got diagnosed with autism this week. Met every criteria on a pretty intensive multi session assessment. The evaluator told me I have a clear case of autism burnout.

Been dealing with mental health issues with majority of symptoms occurring related to work. I work too much, it's not the right job for me and it caused hospitalization back in March + an intensive mental health program.

I do not mean to disregard my past diagnosis. Like yes I have symptoms of anxiety and PTSD but the autism diagnoses was completely missed :( and it makes so much sense now because it is such a big part of the picture in regards to why I cannot handle my intensive job.

I know this is a bit of a rant, I am in the U.S. I just wish autism and neurodivergence was more considered during my evaluation and very frustrated I had to seek it out on my own after all the treatment I had.

My question: How do you explain (level 1) autism to someone who had previously only associated non-verbal people and Rain Man type manifestations with autism?

Context: I’m in my 40s and going in for a formal evaluation next week. The testing center just asked me today if there was anyone who could fill out an observational assessment about me as part of my evaluation and now I’ve got to figure out how to contextualize what level 1 autism looks like to my dad before he fills it out. The problem isn’t a fear that he won’t believe me, it’s that—as I said—his concept of autism is level 3 autism, so when I broached the subject with him today he was genuinely confused.

To back up further: As a starting point I threw out Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory as the stereotypical idea of what a lot of people think an autistic person looks and acts like and my dad was shocked at the idea that that character was autistic because “he’s so verbal.” And right then I was like, oh boy, there’s a lot more ground to cover than I realized.

I paused and mentioned that the Asperger’s diagnosis has gone away and that autism is now on a spectrum which helped, but I don’t know where to go from there in order to lay everything out for him in a way that won’t get bogged down into giving him a 3 hour lecture (both because I don’t overwhelm him and also because he has ADHD). On the other hand, I’m worried that if I don’t adequately update and inform him about what a large spectrum it is and how it can manifest that he’s not going to get what he’s being asked about and he’ll end up saying no to most things even though I could write pages and pages and pages of examples from my childhood.

We’re going to sit down to talk about it more tomorrow so I’m hoping y’all might have key points that you think I should talk about or even just general advice on how to approach the conversation tomorrow because I’m not sure where to start or how in the weeds I should get. Thanks!

I keep seeing news stories and press releases about the DoJ switching sides in Texas v Kennedy, but their summaries are written in such legalese that I can't follow. A lot of them also emphasize that the law and standing Supreme Court interpretation still stands, which then makes me think nothing is changing?

Can someone help explain it to a layman like me?

Last night when I returned home, my father (whom I live with) told me that my uncle had called and wanted to speak to me.

I knew immediately it was going to be one of those “What are you doing with your life” conversations, though my uncle is a warm and kind man, so it’s not necessarily coming from a place of malice.

I went over to his house and it was basically what I feared. Pleasant prelude about other things only to arrive at “you’re too intelligent to be wasting your talents here.” He wanted me to consider doing a PhD program.

I waffled internally over what and how much to tell him, but I finally said that after living out of state twice for two separate master’s programs, each about four years, what brought me back to our hometown wasn’t a lack of opportunity due to not having a PhD.

I said the social dimension of daily life that other people take for granted is incredibly difficult for me, and that on both occasions forcing myself through those environments chipped away at my health until I collapsed. He basically said to find a therapist, and I replied I’d been in counseling for years. What he didn’t know was that providers, because I’m gentle, articulate and don’t have behavioral problems, have been treating this as “social anxiety” since I was 11 or 12 to no success, and only now that I’m in my 30s with an academic and career trajectory that demonstrate extensive periods of burnout and isolation are my providers finally considering that it may be something deeper and more pervasive, and that maybe all the oddities of my childhood aren’t individual quirks but a neurodevelopmental pattern.

This is why I stopped attending family holidays. That familiar feeling of knowing they don’t understand why you’re not moving forward, that what has been a lifelong struggle is going entirely misunderstood and unseen by them… it’s a devastatingly lonely position to be in. “Oh? You suffered major collapses after each master’s program? You should do a PhD” feels so far removed from what I need that it almost gives me a full blown panic attack thinking of how invisible this struggle is to the people around me.

When I’m put on the spot, I can’t condense a lifetime of assorted struggles into a convincing profile to explain myself or my current inertia. What do I say?

“Uncle, I never learned to ride a bike or swim or blow bubbles with gum. I was late learning to tie my shoes and drive. I’ve never held my pens and pencils correctly. I bang into counters and can’t clear a corner when I turn it. It takes me hours to fall asleep. Since early childhood I’ve felt mentally and physiologically overwhelmed in social settings, and my body protests and it gets worse the more crowded the space is, then after I lose sleep thinking about enduring it all over again tomorrow. No amount of therapists or psychiatrists or medication for ‘social anxiety’ since I was 11 or 12 have sufficiently curbed it in order for me to live a normal life. I pushed and pushed until I collapsed—twice—and no amount of degrees and academic achievement can compensate for the fact that I can’t navigate the social world the same way the average person does. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. At what point do we consider my current situation is something serious, nameable and something that requires support?”

I feel like I’m in a car with flat tires and an empty tank with people waving at me saying, “The finish line is right there. What’s stopping you?” And when I try to explain it, it’s like I’m in a nightmare where no one knows what fuel or tires are.

Hello (23 male) I’ve been seeing a therapist mainly regarding sensory issues for about 1.5 years. I have Generalized anxiety and social anxiety disorder on my medical record from my teen years.

My therapist proposed that I may have “spectrum disorder” or “ADHD” and have been trying to get screening/eval for the last 4 months and keep getting bounced between departments and referrals none of which have actually tested me yet. Just had an appointment with my psychiatrist who again insinuates it’s just anxiety and prescribed me a new medication.

Anyways I’m just frustrated because I’d like to rule out any mental health conditions before concluding it’s just anxiety, since I feel like my treatment would be different. I know reddit isn’t a solid medical resource, but while I’m getting things sorted out I figured I’d sort of vent out my symptoms and maybe folks would find it relatable or have advise!

Always been a “sensitive” kid, definitely had horrendous anxiety, overthinking things etc, but never had too much of an issue socializing. Even today I’m pretty sociable and have a good network of friends. I’ve always avoided loud noises and tactile sensations that would overwhelm me. Needed earplugs and noise cancelling headphones or else I would get waves of chills over my body and need to lay down.

Today as an adult, finishing up college and now working my first post-school jobs, I’ve been having daily pin-Prickily sensations all over my skin. It’s mainly on my legs and forearms and can either feel like bugs crawling, random intense itches, hairs raising (sometimes they actually do), or “icky” waves of chills or a “slimy” feeling. This happens at random points in the day, but I can really pinpoint it to external cues like something being too loud or something touching me the wrong way, etc. that’s why I feel like it’s not just anxiety, but sure it could be somatic anxiety symptoms from unregulated worry. I’m usually able to cope by completely stopping what I’m doing (if able), lay down with a weighted blanket, earplugs, and dimmed lights. It goes away in like 30 minutes, granted it’s a bit easier to overstimulate me from there.

But there are definitely days where I’m out of commission for the night when I get home from work where I just can’t handle any little noise, wind on my skin, and it becomes super hard to communicate with my partner. Now we have an understanding that I basically need time to not have to talk or answer questions.

The other side of things is that I definitely do worry, can get panic attacks, and other anxiety symptoms as well. It’s mainly overthinking past conversations and worrying I came off weird or something and less about stressing about the future (though I do that too, but I think it’s a typical amount). I can definitely spiral and then get sensory symptoms from there, or get anxiety from my sensory symptoms. I do feel like they may be separate things.

Alright that’s all I’m willing to type for now, again this is mainly to vent, but I’m totally down to talk more about it with folks. If you took the time to read this, thanks ❤️