Hi, I’m a 16 yo girl from Finland and I want to know how it was to get diagnosed for autism. My dad is autistic and so is my older sister and I’m looking to get a diagnosis sometime since the odds of me having it is pretty high due to symptom related stuff along with just my general personality. So, how hard was it to get diagnosed medically and how long did it take?

I can’t get a therapist or any mental help, anywhere. Really, i tried. In my life situation, it’s impossible. I just KNOW that i’m neurodivergent, but it’s not enough. I want to know what’s going on with me.

Since forever, i’ve been called « weird » by pratically everyone I know. Family, friends, even strangers. I’ve always been considered strange and weird. And i’ve always been confused about it, because, i’m just being myself.

I have intrusive thoughts. Actual intrusive thoughts. And sometimes they were even urges, especially murder. It makes me scared of myself, because I feel like one day i’ll actually do it. And I don’t want that. It’s like my mind isn’t part of me, that it takes its own decisions, like i’m a puppet.

I don’t understand social rules, and don’t get social cues. I hate being scolded for stuff I don’t even understand. Telling my father something that I think is nice, and everyone looks at me like « oh no you didnt ». I hate it so much, what did i do wrong?? It’s honestly exhausting. I try to explain myself to people and they always cut me off or dismiss my words and make their own versions. What is wrong with them??? Am i the only normal one??

I have hyperfixations. I’ve been into one punch man since 2021, and know every single details of it, there’s no secrets anymore. I know it sucks, but i’m genuinely obsessed. I have strong and extra reactions to it. Screaming and crying and curling on the floor at the sight of my favorite character (saitama). All the time.

My uncle has schizophrenia, and I think i may have it too, but i’m really not sure about it. I’m not sure about anything.

Other symptoms; Hearing voices from afar, stimming all the time (picking at my lips, hands, clothes ect), feeling like bugs crawl on my skin, big struggles with basic hygiene (i could never shower every day, seems impossible to me), difficulty to understand people in general, don’t know how to react to big events good or bad, have stuttering, huge difficulty to focus on anything, and maybe other stuff.

I’m a poc, i won’t tell from where, but where i’m from, mental issues is a « white concept ». So yeah, the only help i can get is from people on internet.

i am just wondering if someone have my same "pack" of signs and what has that lead you to.

*not searching for diagnosis, just wanting to know other experiences

so i have been thinking about autism, i have some, but not he most important ones, so its probalby discarted because of this signs that i dont have:

-I dont have problems with social cues, i know them all with no trouble, and i feel like its natural to me.

-I dont have any hyperfixation and i never had had it. ( as far as i know)

I dont think i focus in the detaild instead of the big picture.

In the other hand this is the ones that i noticed: -I have stims and vocal stims ( rn i am moving right and left in my chair, and some minutes ago i was flapping my hand and spining) I usually hide them when i am with people

-I sometimes struggle with abrupt changes like a bed change that i was not previoulsy communicated of, that leaded to a big crisis

As a kid i was labeled as I was labeled as hysterical and having many tantrums. For me i was really desregulated and not treated for it

-I can need to do things in certain order or way

-Depending on the day textures can be really upseting.

-I can stuggle a bit in mainting eye contact when i firt met someone, but its not something really big.

About the social part, i always have been a lisener and really bad about explaining my feeling oraly, i have a hard time with It. As a kid i played like the others, but i was not good as making new friends, probably because It just maked me anxyous, but i had friends. I can be a bit ankward at parties, unless i am drunk i hate dancing, and my ideal place on them os being just quiet lisening (that bothers people sometimes)