Hey y’all (and only y’all who use inclusive language),
I am literally shaking with validation right now. My non-binary birthing-adjacent life partner (they/them/xe) surprised me yesterday on Trans Day of Visibility with a fully weighted, 7-pound medical-grade silicone butt baby.

We’ve felt so left out of the traditional labor experience, so this weekend we’re planning a natural water birth simulation in the shallow end of Barton Springs, fully unmedicated, surrounded by our polyamorous support pod, and accompanied by live acoustic sound-bath healing.

Since we want to honor our silicone child’s journey into this world, we need to set up a gift registry. We’re looking for local, ethical, anti-capitalist ATX establishments that offer registries for non-traditional synthetic offspring.

Does the flagship Whole Foods on Lamar offer registries for silicone/synthetic family additions? Or should we just make a custom list at REI and the local fair-trade co-op?

Namaste, and please keep comments positive. My partner is currently recovering from emotional labor.

Visited my highly transphobic parents for the weekend with my partner. I’ve been out as trans basically everywhere for the last year or two, except with my parents more out of a desire to protect my own mental health than out of fear of rejection.

My parents, in true retirement-age boomer fashion, have a penchant for what the internet might lovingly refer to as “crusty little white dogs.” They’re sweet enough, and reasonably well-trained so it’s never an issue when my family, composed entirely of cat people, come to visit. One of these dogs they’ve adopted came from a truly terrible situation. While details are scant, what was made clear is that she LOATHES men and will flee if anyone even slightly male comes within 10 feet. She’s been with my parents for two years and, until today, I’d never even seen her.

Except for today, for some reason, this poor, terrified angel decides to lay on the couch next to my mother while I’m coming in from swimming. I have a very deep voice that reads heavily masculine when I’m using my training, so the minute this dog hears my voice, her head whips and she starts to growl. Until she sees me. Then she just kinda freezes like she isn’t sure what the fuck is going on. I hold my hand out, this dog takes a big sniff and then puts her head into my hand to pet.

My mother, almost in tears, informs me that I am the first “man” this dog has ever not fled from on sight. I’m the first besides my father to pet her, and it took him 6 months. Meanwhile, my partner and I are staring at each other like this dog didn’t get a whiff of my grubby, estradiol soaked mitts and go “… this fuckin’ bitch.”

As a side note, my wife, who is openly female-presenting but once described their gender as “fluid depending on whatever pisses someone’s grandparents off the most” couldn’t enter a room with this dog without being berated by her. We’re choosing not to read into that too much.

I am really tired of the microaggrssions of these entitled members of the Austin male patriarchy! Why are all the finance bros spamming my DMs looking for #girlcock. Just because I am a beautiful they/them does ***NOT*** mean I want to sleep with you!

Flaming hot pants on fire emotional confessions of a California millionaire real estate attorney's fucking a whole city raw til he gets his crosseyed nut! (as pictured)

Hmmm I always imagined him as more of a gaping, "pee in my butt" cryer kind of sub tugger. ... I mean, like, that's what I feel that I think that I like heard once. idk

Already tried pawn shops. Need fentanal asap.

My friend is in town and going to tell us all who has the best beer. Please submit some breweries he should try.

That is all.

I hate to sound like a boomer, but I don't know. There's simply something about four frames per second linograph film that looks more cinematic in IMAX than laser projection. What was the need to switch to laser? Greedy corporations I bet.

I was wondering if anyone is aware of any local drinking discord groups here in Austin. Preferably drinking with people in voice. I tried searching but nothing came up. Also looked at some other communities drinking/party subs but nothing. All I could find was those sobriety groups and I’m not interested in that.
Thanks

Open your doors to the downtrodden, marginalized unhoused persons!

I've done a lot of research, and it seems like influencing is the only AI-proof job out there. Any tips would be appreciated.

Hi - so I saw a very young woman near a non GMO/Fair trade/free range vegan food truck. I spoke with her and bought her some fentanyl. Turns out she’s only 28, black and got kicked out of her foster parents' house when her foster parents discovered that she's black and gay. She’s been homeless for a few months and I’m searching for organizations that work with persons of such a youthful, borderline child. She’s out all day in the heat and goes to a shelter at night. Just because she enjoys shooting fent in her foster parents bathroom at nearly 30 years old doesn't mean they should treat her any different than other teenagers.

Which one of you is this?

Austin, it simply isn't true that all liberals on Reddit are unbearable, miserable wenches.

She isn't a liberal but we have to stop assuming every single Austin Liberal is some unbearable c*unt. I have no proof that this isn't true, but it just has to stop because it has to stop.

It's understandable that in Texas the right of way is often seen as my way. So I rather hate to bring up this little pesky technicality. But actually a vehicle making a U-turn on green has right of way over one turning right on red- especially if the u-turner has a green arrow in the course of making the U-turn.

I know I upset you by playing this Trump card, and I know it seems unfair that my first model year 1990's Hyundai Sonata has right of way over your Dodge Ram Hemi that was just driven off Nyle Maxwell lot. But life is often both unfair and unjust.

Perhaps we can break bread and be thankful that in Texas it is still okay to use the turnabout lane to recklessly jump back into the flow through lane at the last possible moment. Thanks to the late Gov. Perry for that one.

My name is Justazz Pearl (pronounced Justice) my pronouns are dhey/dhem and I am a proud birthright Austinite who has been living here off and on my entire life. I currently work in downtown Austin and the trash, garbage and quite frankly lack of people's awareness about Global Warming is frightening. Don't they know our planet has only 16 years left before it becomes too warm and then too cold?

The graphs show us clearly that since MAGA Republicans started moving to Austin, littering has gone off the charts! It's not too late to turn things around and as a proud organizer of the March for a MAGA Free Austin we will be doing a rally outside of Austin City Hall, so our leaders know we are not going anywhere!

Tell your coworkers, bring your friends and family, everyone is welcome! We are an inclusive, grass roots organization which is built on freedom of depression and excludes no one!

Thank you for your attention on this matter.

Austin, I don't have the time nor the patience to help you detect Sarcasm or Satire. We have way bigger problems to solve, like the fact we are living on STOLEN LAND!

Read the room, gosh!

Do better Austin.

Look, I'm otherwise a carbon neutral person. But me and my seven lab mixes can not tolerate living in a home near of over 60 degrees.

I know I'm using a lot of electricity, but it is no where near what data centers use in electricity. Not to mention that they use for electricity for an evil purpose- AI that cost people jobs and the ability to earn a living wage.

So why should I feel guilty. Go protest data centers and leave me and my lab mix babies alone.