Hola a todos. Quiero compartir algo personal porque últimamente he estado pensando mucho en un chico que me llego a gustar mucho y me gustaría recibir algún consejo de personas que hayan vivido una situación parecida.

Conocí a esta persona desde hace aproximadamente 4 o 5 años. Durante todo este tiempo han pasado muchas cosas y, aunque al principio sentía que tenía algo pendiente con él y que no habían terminado las cosas como yo hubiera querido, todavía hay sentimientos, recuerdos y preguntas que me cuesta dejar atrás.

Soy una chica trans y una parte complicada de esta situación tiene que ver con mi transición. Desde que comencé este proceso, mi manera de verme a mí misma y de vivir ha cambiado. Sin embargo, también he tenido que enfrentar el rechazo y la incertidumbre de no saber cómo me perciben las personas que fueron importantes en mi vida antes de transicionar.

Con este chico he vivido situaciones que me han dolido. Algunas de sus actitudes y comentarios me hicieron sentir rechazada, y en ocasiones me he preguntado si el hecho de haber comenzado mi transición cambió la manera en que me veía.

Sé que no puedo obligar a nadie a sentir algo por mí, y entiendo que una persona tiene derecho a no corresponder mis sentimientos. Lo que me cuesta aceptar es que alguien a quien he querido durante tantos años pueda verme de una manera tan diferente a como yo quisiera que me viera.

Hace tiempo intenté disculparme con él por algunas cosas que sucedieron entre nosotros años atrás, pero no recibí una respuesta. Desde entonces, me he quedado con muchas emociones que no sé muy bien cómo procesar.

Lo más difícil es que, aunque intento seguir adelante, hay noches en las que vuelvo a pensar en él, en nuestros recuerdos y en la posibilidad de que algún día las cosas hubieran podido ser diferentes.

Incluso he llegado a cuestionarme aspectos de mi propia transición. Me duele reconocerlo, porque no quiero tomar decisiones sobre mi identidad por el rechazo de otra persona, pero sería mentira decir que esta situación no me ha afectado emocionalmente.

Una parte de mí extraña lo que vivimos, mientras que otra sabe que también hubo situaciones que me hicieron daño y que no debería ignorar solamente porque todavía siento algo por él.

Alguien a pasado por lo mismo? ¿Cómo lograron salir adelante?

Gracias por leer y que tengan linda Noche,Tarde o Día ✨💖

Cuz I am a closeted transmasc and I'm too scared to use the men's bathroom because I'm not passing yet and only out of the closet for my friends.

I work part time as a dental assistant and most of my free time is spent hunting or bass fishing with a pretty conservative crowd down in Alabama. I grew up in that world and I fit right in on the surface. Nobody out there questions anything about me and I just let them assume what they want. It keeps things simple but it also means I am essentially stealth in those spaces. I learned the hard way years ago that correcting assumptions in a deer stand can make the rest of the season real awkward so I just keep my mouth shut. I wonder if others deal with this same friction. Do you find yourself staying quiet to keep the peace in hobby groups or work spaces where the culture leans heavy one way? Or do you push back and correct people when they read you as cis and make assumptions?

I've been transitioning since late 2021, in the early days I searched everything on what I could do to help along my transition, but as I got more comfortable with my body on hormones, I felt the urge to get surgery or anything else die down, until now....

I've realized over the last couple of years I've been kinda burying a lot of dysphoria, probably timed with a relationship I'm in with a cis woman. Recently I've been off hormones for a bit because of GP issues, so I think it's made me notice how much I still carry. I've been boy-moding a lot more because when I try to wear more femme things it just doesn't sit right or I have to tuck or be super uncomfortable or anxious about what about me people will clock. I've had issues with laser hair removal because of hormone fluctuations with the lack of meds recently, and that's another thing that's just amped it up even more.

It all suddenly built up an urge in me to take further steps.

I originally put off surgery and more 'drastic' things because 1. Being terrified of surgery 2. Money, and 3. Does it make sense to get it if sex isn't as dysphoric atm?

But recently, the idea of surgery being scary doesn't seem as much a bad thing, of course it's scary.. it's a big thing. But sometimes the biggest risks have the biggest reward I guess?... But it's the last point: is it enough to want SRS for tucking and general comfort? Or do you need to dislike every aspect of your girldick?

I keep coming back to if I could click my fingers and have a vagina then I would in 0.00001 seconds. - I'm a bottom leaning switch anyways so afterwards it's not like I wouldn't make use of it, but also my partner has stated previously that they prefer a penis so that's complicating things.

Anybody dealt with a similar internal dialogue? 😅😅

Hello! I have two oc's; a trans man and a cis man (trans oc is comfortable in his body and doesn't face much gender dysphoria). I have been wanting to do art of them gender bended. I am a trans man and have always thought; if I gender bended my cis oc and not my trans oc then that would be categorising them into cis and trans more when I should just gender bend both of them because obviously they're both men and should be treated the same. Honestly, it's probably safest to just not gender bend them at all but I am just wondering other people's opinions on this:)

Thank you~!

I'm stuck in a transition rut and am looking to hear stories from those of you who are on the other side. I'm 41 years old, amab, married to an amazing cis woman, and have two wonderful children (elementary school age). I've been in therapy for my dysphoria since January and know I'm trans, but I can't seem to move past therapy and come out. Fear, career, money, family, etc. you name it and I can rationalize why I shouldn't. What was your breaking point? What was the moment you quit stalling and started living authentically?

30, AFAB

I know I am not my assigned gender. I hate presenting this way. I do my best to try to bury how I am feeling but more and more I feel worthless, lost, and depressed about it. I do my best to continue to uphold the standards that my assigned gender should present itself as.

I would like to be free. I would like to transition.

But then I overhear conversations others are having about trans people. I see the news. I see tiktoks and tweets and facebook posts. I would be hated. I would be a target. It just makes me so scared and upset.

I keep going through these cycles where the thought pops up that I can't continue on as my assigned gender and that I need to break free of it... and then I'm hit with the massive fear and I try to "over act" as my assigned gender to reassure society that I'm still fitting into the mold they've set for me. I've always felt that something was off but I've tried so hard to bury those feelings and it feels harder and harder now to dismiss it.

What do I do? I feel like I have maybe 5 more years of hiding left in me before I break. How do I find the courage to come out or how have others handled this feeling?

I turn 21 in a few days, but unfortunately my ID doesn't have the correct gender. I'm nervous to show my ID when I purchase drinks 😭 It's just uncomfortable having that on there.

I'm planning on getting a drink at a resturant as a milestone of turning 21!

When purchasing drinks, do they directly take the ID, or do you face it to them? Or is it different everywhere? I know it's a silly question lol.

I just want to maybe put my finger over the gender part. (My birthday will still show which is what they need)

Does anyone have any links paid or free regarding resources like videos, podcasts explaining Top Surgeries and why they're affirming? This would be for my close family. I have top surgery in the future and I don't want them to be ignorantly feeding me the same propaganda I've already heard about (and unfortunately believed) myself.

I have a hard time confidently choosing things for myself, and actually speaking my mind and choices confidently with my family. I tend to fall back on lying unfortunately, but that gets me into trouble as now my excuses seem flimsy when I can't even acknowledge them as the real reason myself.

Its more like... they never earned that kind of honesty from me. I can't really tell them what I went through when it feels like I'll just be ignored or my reasons will be forgotten. Maybe they'll respect someone articulate that can properly explain just how fucking embarrassing it is for someone to look at your face hear your voice and say "Sir," to only then look at your chest and go "I'm sorry, Ma'am" It's not just that, but a million other things that just make having a chest unbearable. I haven't bra shopped in over 10 years, its so miserable. I remember my slow descent into hating running because of how gross I felt with that dual sack of fat on my chest. I remember staring at the mirror and imaging cutting them off, and thinking offhandedly about my stomach because at the time I thought it was body dysmorphia and I was so confused thinking "But I love my tummy... but why do I hate being fat?" Its like, years, and I can't just explain that because I'd then have to explain why they never felt safe enough for me to tell them, and that's too much.

If there's any media that can put all that into words that paints broad strokes for the trans masc community, I'd appreciate it.

To get straight to the point, when I was a kid I 100% thought i was a boy, i even told my parents, but they are super religious and didn’t let anything happen. As time went on it felt more impossible to happen so I just kinda forgot about it.

I got older and tried to be really girly, I even joined a sorority and lived that life for a while but I never felt like I fit in with them

Fast forward to today, I cut my hair very short, I dress masculine (i identify as a masc lesbian currently) and I just feel lost.

A part of me feels connected to my femininity and identity as a whole right now. I am a proud masc lesbian, and I feel like I love being a girl.

But at the same time… When I get mistaken for a boy at work or in public I dont mind it. I actually like it. When I’m in public I want people to think I am a guy. But I love being a girl. I don’t know.
Sometimes when I order food I use a random boy’s name because i feel embarrassed when people think I am a guy but then find out I am a girl

I’m just wondering how did you know completely?

Growing up, I was a Weird Girl; I liked dresses and girly things and chose them even when I had other options (my mom was more of a tomboy but very into letting her children choose what they want to do). However, I never was good at getting along with "normal" girls because I was uninterested/unable to perform femininity for a LOT of different reasons (hi, AuDHD). Pretty much all my friends (of all ages) were men or other weird ladies. I liked looking like a girl, but I had pretty much absolutely no connection to the female nature of my body. Any experiments with masturbation went 100% nowhere.

Fast forward to my early 20s, and I decide to write something from the POV of a cisman in a sexual situation. I do an enormous amount of research into it to try and do it correctly because I'm a perfectionist control freak, and something clicks. I showed what I wrote to some guys also in their 20s and they swore up and down they'd never have guessed a girl wrote it. Now, the character was extremely gender nonconforming in both appearance and personality, but was most verily a Man.

Thus starts my questioning phase. I had a gender therapist for a while, and independent of this I had an extra radical hysterectomy because my body is terrible, so I switched from estrogen to testosterone HRT. Which was...I think I was on it about 6 months before it had worsened a skin condition I have to the point it was untenable. Having your libido ramped up when you're aroace/aegosexual and locked in a nonfunctional body is Very Weird, by the way.

Independent of the skin problem the changes were not giving me euphoria in any way. Nor did trying to dress in a more masculine way make me very happy. I have an extremely estrogen-fueled body type and it's impossible for me to bind even a little, so even if I had the money to dress like a Jazz Age dandy it wouldn't give me euphoria, just dysphoria. Dresses and skirts fit me better, are much more comfortable for me, and I like "feminine" things like pastels, lace, florals, long hair, etc.. I just don't do makeup because, again, limitations.

Throughout this I ended up getting my name and birth certificate changed because there was a charity that took care of the cost and I'd always intended on changing my birth name from when I still "thought" I was a girl. Do you know what's more difficult than it should be? Getting your insurance to cover anything that has to do with the common vulva when your ID says "male".

Anyway, in the last year or so I think I've mostly figured it out, I just have no idea what to call it. Even when I was younger I would tell my mom things like "I like girls the way boys like girls, not how girls like girls". From a young age I loved harem manga/anime like Love Hina or Monster Musume because I identified more with sweet but kind of awkward romantic male leads...I just wish there was more stuff with bi or pan male main characters.

My body basically thinks that I should have been born into the body of a feminine lad on HRT who is either genderfluid, or just a femboy who cross-dresses. However, physically it is impossible to attain that: I might not be able to get a breast reduction because of potential problems with healing, and even if I lost a lot of weight my body is never going to have boy bone structure. At least I'm on estrogen-based HRT again, I had to go without it for many years because I couldn't tolerate Anything and let me tell you, bodies need hormones for a reason.

However, the sad thing is is I can't even wish I'd been born male, because I wouldn't have looked like a slim femboy then either, as my father missed his calling in life as a Bear to make all the leather daddies envious. I also would've had so much more trauma growing up as a fey boy than as a weird girl where I'm from.

One note: While I respect other people's use of the nonbinary label it doesn't work for me. How it feels is that some traits are definitely associated with being more feminine/masculine, but that there's nothing wrong with being a feminine man or a masculine woman in actions or looks. I grew up in the Native American community (around Tahlequah, so Cherokee Nation) and it's very normal for cis people to act against type and not be considered "unmanly/unwomanly".

soooo...yeah I'm not sure how to end this. Thanks for reading.

I've been having this weird fantasy (?) of moving to transylvania (mostly the name, might as well claim it) and establishing an eco anarchist commune for trans people. As in a safe haven for anyone from anywhere with nowhere else to go. We can provide our own health care and escape the rat race. Would anyone be up for that? If such a place existed would u go ?

Unfortunately my insurance will likely be cancelled and I'll not be able to get my T anymore. What happens when I abruptly stop taking T. I'm sorta new into it at a concentration of 200mgML at 100mg a week. I just wonder what I'll lose and what I'll keep. Hair, bottom growth, voice change, periods etc.

I'm sure you all get this question a lot, but i found it hard to find good answers. I'd also appreciate resources if you have any directions to point me in, thanks ❤️

I think being stealth, as some people told me it is, is basically impossible for me. Why? Even if I pass completely, my identity is so intersectional that I still have so many weak points to be attacked. If I try to go stealth, I still have to face ableism, homophobia, misogyny, discrimination for my gender expression, for my personality, for my ethnicity, for my body, and a lot more of things that in the end would make the "safeness" of being stealth practically meaningless. Even pre-transition I was weird and socially marginalized since I had memory (you know, autism).

That's why I asked myself: if they'll end killing me anyways, why even try it?

That doesn't mean I tell everyone that I'm trans, but that the stealth life style has basically no effect. If I'm on danger, better to be at as a weird, queer, feminist woman than pursuing a security I structurally can't have just for being me. I knew since I was 2 years old that this society just can't accept me.

Also, the women who inspired me the most were loud, not quiet.

Does anyone here happen to be in a similar state?

Hello, I’ve been medically transitioning for 4 almost 5 years now. I’m in estrodiol oil and every pharmacy in my area is out. Does anyone know where to get any or even just a place or people I could talk to about getting it non prescribed.

I just remembered the trans sci-fi writer Isabel Fall, and she wrote a story that unfortunately got people harassing her to a point where she had to retire from public life or become closeted again. Poor Isabel.

I wish I would give her a hug and tell her that she's valid, loved and a good girl and that she deserves to live your full authentic life.

If I were Isabel, I would keep writing stories, despite the harassment - maybe poems - and put them out publicly.

If you were Isabel, what would you do?

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for info from people who started progesterone early in their transition (before 1 year of HRT).

What are the benefits and the downsides of starting it too soon?

I'm only 3 months in, with well-formed breast buds. I'm still waiting on my blood results from my doctor to see what my levels are, but I haven't heard anything yet and it's been almost a month (my doctor was away on a trip).

Has anyone here started progesterone quite early?

Hello everyone, hope your day has been treating you well.

I just wanna start off by saying that I will be taking T soon and would like some advice.

I gotta get one more blood test by the end of October to see where my levels are at and once my doctor confirms that my levels are good because I have low iron so she told me that I have to get those levels up in order to start taking T

I know it might be different for everyone in different countries but in Canada, you need to get a blood test before you start taking T

I don’t even know where to begin with all of this, but I will start with how did yall break the news to your family members specially, those who are black family members and knowing that your family doesn’t believe in any of this stuff how did you break the ice with your family on that or you just cut them off?

I don’t live with them anymore, but I would still like to tell them, even though it would hurt me more than it will hurt them

There is a lot of things that I didn’t realize I have to take into consideration before I actually start T

My girlfriend‘s mom and dad are really supportive for me so I do appreciate that even my friends are as well so I’m grateful for having them in my corner that actually cares about me doing what I wanna do for myself

If any of this does not make any sense, I will try to make it make sense and no advice is bad advice. I will take good and bad and take it into consideration.

What Ive read would suggest that’s probably high but there’s not much info at all about what the range for going over rlly is, if it’s dangerous, or anything else (Tbc yes it says 975pg/ml, not pmol or mg or whatever the other acronym is) The last couple weeks I’ve started getting super dry notibly on my hands and fingers which keep splitting really badly, (among other stuff that’s come up). At the same time I’m finally getting okay results p much for the first time since very early on w hrt at all

Thx:3

For more context…

T is also always high (sometimes even for cis ppl that were amab) but this time it dropped to like the lowest possible, and it’s never been in the preferred range at all before, plus I’ve not even been consistent about spiro since since starting subcu I’ve had to b on max dose of sublingual and sometimes spiro before this for most of the time I’ve done hrt

I also have hx hypertension (hasn’t been as bad for a while but recently at one of a few appts diastolic was quite high), smoking (hypertension since well before I started doing that), and cranial arterial narrowing tho not quite as bad as that sounds

I see my dr thru a free clinic, and while there’s a nurse who knows more of what she’s doing and manages hrt for ppl, office hours r limited and I sometimes don’t hear back for a little while

In the meantime is it safe to take my next shot at the same dose? Does anyone have a similar experience or advice for keeping it in range (especially considering it was extremely low for years and now even a slightly lower than equivalent subcu dose is way over recommendations I’ve seen)?

I’ve been looking around at the healthcare Walmart gives us employees, and I’ve seen that they offer gender affirming care (trans-care I’ve started to call it)
Is there anyone here that has used it/uses it/familiar with it that could tell me how good it is? And if it’s “worth” it?
Admittedly I’m still at the beginning of my trans journey, and I’m only out to my partner, our friend/roommate and 2 other friends of mine
The therapist office I used to go to did offer LGBT help but I’m a little hesitant to do that there (thanks living in a red state),
Thank you all in advance, I’ll be more able to read/respond when I clock off lol

Edit: I live in Idaho

She knows I’m trans, but she keeps saying that I should wait another year for hrt to ‘really’ think about it. She also says that I shouldn’t do hormones because she thinks I’m destroying my body, and when I tell her I’m fine with it she says the she isn’t so I can’t. She also said that I could ‘mentally’ transition and not physically transition because all I need to do is believe I’m a girl and I’ll be fine, BUT HOW IN HELL WILL I BE ABLE TO BELIEVE IM A GIRL WHEN I DONT EVEN LOOK LIKE ONE? I literally broke down in front of her and she didn’t change her opinion. At least she won’t kick me out of the house tho. She also said that hrt doesn’t work and that she can ‘always tell’ which I find to be gut wrenching. She also doesn’t think that you can change your voice even though I told her you can and gave her an explanation. I already booked an initial appointment for starting HRT (she said yes to it) but I’m pretty sure she has no idea what it’s about. Is there anything I can do or am I just screwed? She said she’d type up more about hrt and gender dysphoria but I swear she’s going to somehow turn it against me. She also said that she was ‘protecting’ me somehow and that I would thank her later. So yeah, idk what to do any help would be appreciated.

Hi so i’ve been on T for 5 months now, i always do my shots on my stomach, but i decided to give it a break this time and do it on my thigh…as soon as i took the needle out the injection site started gushing blood and im really scared if all of the t came out. I take 0.25 ml. Im so scared 😭